Short, Dark, Pointy-Haired Man Banned From Disney World

By Elbereth in April Copyright 2002

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or Walt Disney World. But think of the money I would have if I owned either one.

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The bus pulled up in front of the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World in Florida. A large group of people got off.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this, onna."

"Be quiet, Vegeta," Bulma scolded.

"I can't believe I let you drag me here, kid."

"Come on, Piccolo-san, it'll be fun!" Gohan coaxed.

"Yeah. This is great!"

"Shut up, Kakkarot."

"I can't believe Master Roshi stowed away," Chi-Chi complained.

"Come on, Dad! Let's go!" Goten grabbed Goku's hand and pulled him toward the entrance. Trunks quickly followed. The others came along behind.

They made it through the gate to Main Street U.S.A. They gawked around at all the stores. . . and all the other tourists. All the people made Vegeta extremely uncomfortable. A large lady bumped into him.

He grabbed her arm. "Did you just touch me?" he snarled at her, fierce scowl on his face.

"Vegeta!" Bulma exclaimed in dismay. "You can't do that! You're going to be jostled and crowded all day. Get used to it."

He reluctantly let go of the woman, who hurried away.

"Yeah, Vegeta," Goku smiled cheerfully. "Just have fun!"

"Baka," Vegeta muttered.

Just then a bunch of movie characters came out a backstage door and stood in the street for people to get photos and autographs.

Goku frowned in confusion. "What's Krillin doing here?"

"Dad, that's Dopey."

Vegeta smirked. "Your dad *is* Dopey."

"Vegeta!"

They moved closer to Snow White and her 7 dwarves.

Piccolo smirked. "Look Vegeta, you're finally taller than someone."

Vegeta glared as Bulma placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Now boys, don't get separated," Chi-Chi admonished as Goten and Trunks ran ahead.

"I'll help you keep an eye on them," Gohan offered.

Master Roshi sidled through the crowd until he stood in front of Snow White. "Hey, pretty lady! I bet you'd look great in a bikini!"

Snow White blushed vividly as a mother covered her child's ears. The dwarves came to stand in front of Snow White protectively as Gohan dragged Roshi away. Vegeta started to laugh. The dwarves turned to glare at him. Vegeta scowled back. Suddenly, Sneezy sneezed on him.

Vegeta growled and destroyed Sneezy with a single blast.

"Vegeta! Now we'll have to say Snow White and the 6 dwarves!"

A child began to cry. "Mommy, Mommy, he killed Sneezy!"

Goku yelped. "Vegeta! You can't kill anyone! Don't worry, Bulma, we'll wish him back with the dragonballs."

"Humph." He fired another blast, taking out Happy and Dopey.

Goku blocked Vegeta's view of the dwarves. "Vegeta! Do you want to get thrown out?" he whined.

Vegeta's eyes lit up.

"Trunks would be so disappointed!"

Vegeta frowned again, hesitating with a ball of ki on his palm.

"Yeah, come on, Papa," Trunks pleaded.

"Oh, all right." He dropped his hand. Snow White and the remaining dwarves retreated hastily backstage, except for Grumpy, who paused. He and Vegeta exchanged a glance of mutual respect. "Those three always did get on my nerves," Grumpy said as he, too, left.

"Goku, perhaps you should take us farther away from the scene of the crime," Piccolo suggested.

Goku took Vegeta by the shoulder as the others all linked hands. He instantly transported them to just in front of the castle.

Gohan pulled out the park map he had picked up. "Where should we go first?"

"We want to see the Haunted Mansion. It has ghosts," Trunks said.

"And Space Mountain!"

"We should all see the Hall of Presidents. It's educational," said Chi-Chi happily.

The boys sighed and groaned.

"Let's just start and work our way around."

"OK." So they started on the left in Adventureland.

"What's first?"

"The Jungle Cruise."

They looked at the line. "It's an hour and a half wait, according to the sign," Bulma reported.

"An hour and a half wait? You expect me to stand in that line for that time? I'm the Prince of all Saiyans!" Vegeta crossed his arms, looking arrogant and dangerous.

"You have to, Vegeta. Those are the rules," Gohan said conscientiously.

"No!"

Piccolo sighed. "I'll try to meditate."

They got in line. Bulma latched on to Vegeta's arm and pulled him along with her, promising all kinds of rewards for later. He grumbled but came.

They waited. The women chatted, the boys played Rock, Paper, Scissors, Piccolo meditated, Vegeta scowled, and Goku grinned at everything. Gohan went to get them all some cold drinks. He returned ten minutes later. They all drank. Goku began to fidget. He hopped back and forth from leg to leg. "Are we almost through the line yet?"

Chi-Chi looked at her watch. "It's only been 20 minutes."

"This is intolerable!" Vegeta snapped.

Five minutes later. "Are we at the front yet?" Goku was now bouncing up and down.

"Does it look like it, you baka?"

"I can't take this!" Goku collected everyone in a big group hug and put two fingers to his forehead. They instantly phased out and reappeared at the front of the line.

"Goku!" Chi-Chi gasped. "That's cheating!"

"Hey!" said the tattooed biker man who should have been next. Vegeta slowly turned around and gave him a nasty smirk and his "your death will come with excruciating pain and I shall enjoy it, so come on and try something" stare.

"After you," the man gulped, turning pale.

"What the heck." Bulma shrugged and got on the boat. The others joined her.

The ride itself passed without incident. After that they explored the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, but skipped the Tiki Room.

"Where did Roshi go?"

They looked around. He had shoved through a small crowd in front of Aladdin's Carpet Ride and was winking at a harem-pant clad girl with a bikini top. "Jasmine, you looker. I own a nice island. That Aladdin's just a street punk. What say you leave him for me?"

Goku groaned. Gohan slapped himself in the head. "Roshi!" Bulma hollered. "Get over here right now or I'll sic Vegeta on you!"

Roshi blanched. "Whoops, gotta go."

They went on to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. The inside of the line looked like an old Spanish stone fort. At one point two skeletons were playing chess in a dungeon room.

"Woah, neat," said Trunks.

This line was much shorter, so they endured it. They got to the front. "How many?" the worker asked.

"There's nine of us," Bulma supplied when Goku looked overwhelmed at the thought of having to count.

"Rows 1 to 4, please."

They got in their boat. Vegeta insisted on being in the front row.

The boat moved along slowly, passing through a realistic-looking cave, with many more skeletons, to see a pirate ship exchanging cannon fire with the fort under a darkened sky. They passed through the captured town, where the pirates were looting, auctioning off stolen women, trying to get information out of a man by dunking him in a well, looking for treasure, burning buildings, shooting guns, and tying up soldiers. A song played in the background. "We pillage, we plunder, we extort and hijack, a pirate's life for me!"

The ride ended. Gohan and Goku looked disturbed, as did Chi-Chi. "That was cool," Trunks grinned.

Vegeta smirked. "That was great," he agreed unexpectedly. "Burning and pillaging and purging planets! Let's go on it again!"

So Vegeta, the boys, and Roshi went through The Pirates again while Goku and the ladies saw The Country Bear Jamboree and Gohan and Piccolo watched people go down Splash Mountain.

They all met up again to ride Splash Mountain. Vegeta was humming The Pirates theme song. Bulma hid a smile.

They instantly transported again. At the end of the ride, the boat went down an eight-story drop, which everyone was looking forward to but Chi- Chi. However, as they got to the drop, a computerized camera flashed, as usual, to take a photo of everyone who went down the ride.

Vegeta automatically considered it to be an attack and returned fire. The camera and most of the wall were destroyed. After the ride was finished, Goku transported them hastily to the Haunted Mansion.

"Will you be quiet, onna? I already told you it was just instinct. I can't help being trained and battle-ready."

"He's got a point, Bulma," Goku defended him. "I was pretty startled myself."

Trunks and Goten were laughing. Bulma decided to let it slide.

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Trust me, there's a lot more to come. Review please or my life will fall into ruins!