God Help Me, I Have Sinned.
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." - Judy Garland
In an almost choreographed dance both brothers lit their cigarettes and as the cherry burned at the end of the stick they prayed it took their concerns with it. The twins were silent on their walk home from the church and while Connor contemplated whether or not he had made the right decision Murphy tried to pinpoint exactly how he was feeling. It had started as a plea for forgiveness but it quickly turned into something much more. He had been with more than a handful of women over the years, each with their own spiritual qualities and personal skill, but none had made him feel the way he did in the confessional. Murphy had never noticed the piece of his soul that was missing until tonight. It overwhelmed him with an emotion he couldn't place and didn't quite understand.
"Long day," Connor commented as they walked through the door of their loft and simultaneously slid the rosary beads from their necks.
Murphy stared at the cross for a moment feeling the breath of the devil on the back of his neck as he placed his on the nail. "Aye."
Connor tossed his coat on the worn couch and dropped to his mattress completely spent from the day. He would have been content in going right to sleep but the tension in the room was tangible and suffocating. "You're still thinking about her, aren't you?"
Murphy unlaced his boots and toed out of them as Connor did the same. He stood and took off the rest of his clothes, tossing them into a pile in the corner, until he was standing there in just his boxers. "Just because we…" he trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty about what they had done, and in a church no less. "You know…it doesn't mean all is forgiven and forgotten. We messed up tonight, Connor, and our penance needs to be paid."
Murphy turned the shower on and stuck his hand under the stream of water, thankful that for once there seemed to be hot water in their broken down building. He shed his boxers and pulled the curtain over enough so that he was hidden from his brother's view. He tried to tell himself that it had been Lucifer listening to his prayers that night. He had prayed for his brother to commit a sin and in turn only made himself the saint with the tarnished wings.
Connor felt a twinge in his heart when Murphy pulled the curtain around him. In all honesty he forgot it was even there. They never had used it in the past but now it was clear he not only crossed a line but erased it completely. His eyes landed on the rosary beads hanging by the door and he had to adjust himself as the night came back in flashes. They were no longer just a symbol of their faith and dedication to the church but would forever hold a new meaning, a higher meaning, in his opinion. He'd burn in eternity for his sins if it meant healing his brother's soul while they were here on earth.
A hiss of pain had Connor's mind switching to nothing but worry as he rose from his mattress and made his way over to the shower. He immediately reached for the curtain but at the last second pulled his hand back. Would this be going too far? If he pushed his twin, the reason for his existence, away for good then what would he do? He didn't know if he could survive without his brother, as one inhaled the oxygen they needed to breathe the other exhaled ridding their bodies of toxins. His need to know that Murphy was alright outweighed his fear of rejection and he moved the curtain. Murphy stood under the shower head, his forehead resting against the tiled wall, while the water ran over his naked body defining every inch of him. Connor's eyes were instantly drawn to the mark he had left on the back of Murphy's shoulder. Deep red gashes where his teeth had broken the skin, drawing blood from his twin.
"Murph," Connor whispered in remorse as his thumb traced over the area.
"Don't," Murphy cut him off, shrugging his shoulder away from the touch as if it had burned his skin. "I deserve it." A thought occurred to him before Connor could correct the lie and he glanced over the opposite shoulder. "Do it again."
Connor shook his head in disbelief, "I won't hurt you. I could never…"
"I want you to." Connor had a need to touch, to cleanse, every inch of his brother's body but the thought of purposely hurting him was all too foreign for him to understand. Murphy could see the hesitation in his twin's eyes and took the control Connor had in the confessional. In one swift movement Murphy had pulled Connor under the stream of water, pinning him to the wall, his clothes getting soaked in the water as Murphy's chest heaved. "So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires.*" He undid Connor's belt and popped the button on his jeans, slowly sliding the zipper down causing his twin's breath to catch in his throat. "Temptation is but a twisted desire that I can't turn away from even if I tried."
"Murphy," Connor tried to stay focused on the words spilling from his brother's mouth with too much ease but his mind was clouded as Murphy knelt before him and grasped his cock, letting his pants and boxers pool around his ankles.
Connor had prepared himself for his brother's hand gliding up and down his shaft building him up to a point of climax so when Murphy placed his lips over the tip Connor couldn't help the deep groan that escaped. His tongue flicked over the tip already tasting the pre-cum and it was soon a drug he couldn't get enough of. Murphy peered up at his twin and the water droplets rolling off his face mixed with the pleading blue eyes had Connor fucking his brother's mouth. Connor didn't know how Murphy had held out so long in the confessional as he felt himself getting dangerously close. He slowed his hips hoping to make this feeling last but Murphy was relentless and followed his lips with his hand until Connor was shooting cum down the back of his throat.
"I'm a sinner, Connor," Murphy pulled the belt loose from the wet jeans on the floor while he was still on his knees and his twin saw something in eyes he'd never seen before. Murphy stood and spun Connor around, tying his hands behind his back with the leather belt mirroring his bother's actions. "And God help me but I like it."
With him bound and pinned to the wall Murphy used the water from the shower to make his cock slick. Connor arched his back as much as he could to give him better access and Murphy slid into him slowly, giving him a chance to adjust to the new feeling. Receiving it from his brother felt nothing like giving it and Murphy couldn't believe how tight it felt around him.
"Move," Connor practically begged. "Please, move." Murphy held onto the belt as he found the right pace, Connor's face getting pressed into the tiled wall with each thrust. "That all you got, my dear brother?"
Connor baited his twin just like he expected and a growl came from Murphy as he rammed into him with everything he had. His heart pounded against his chest, his breath coming out in short pants, the only sound in the apartment was skin hitting skin. Murphy bit down on Connor's shoulder, the same metallic taste filling his mouth as it did his brother's earlier, as he released for the second time that night. He ran his tongue along the broken skin as if it were an animal tending to a wound but his soul was singing. They had marked one another, claimed their territory, and no one would ever be able to break that bond.
The water had long since run cold and Murphy carefully removed the belt from around Connor's wrists. He brought each one up to his lips for a gentle kiss before stepping out of the shower and toweling off. Connor stood under the frigid stream for a few more seconds, letting the water run over his heated skin as his gaze caught the rosary beads across the room swaying on the wall.
"Going to head to confessional in the morning," Murphy muttered already half-asleep as he lay on his mattress and pulled the sheet over him.
Connor nodded and turned the water off, drying himself quickly before collapsing on his own bed. "Even the best fall down sometimes, Murph," he tried to assure his twin, knowing that the loss of an innocent wouldn't soon leave his mind or his heart. He stared at Murphy's back as his breathing evened out, resisting the urge to reach over and tame his wild dark locks. "But when you do, I'll be here to catch you."