Ok, I've thought about doing it for a long time, so now I am. This is now where all my one-shot Harry Potter stories will be collected in the future. Those that I have already may get put into this little collection one day, but for now they are fine where they are.
I will try and keep this as a home to one-shots only, but it may also house early chapters of what I will hope to one day expand into full-blown fics.
I also need a title for the collection. Any ideas, please throw them my way!
Warnings Specific to this Story:
Umbridge is in it.
Ends with the Harry/Hermione pairing.
Fifth year Gryffindor student Harry Potter entered the office of his Head of House, Professor McGonagall, for their scheduled career's advice meeting.
He made a point of ignoring the fastidious control freak Dolores Umbridge who was sitting in the corner of the room taking notes and sat himself down in the seat opposite from Professor McGonagall.
McGonagall got straight down to business.
"Mr Potter, during our session we will be going over various possibilities for a future career for yourself, as well as deciding which subjects you will need to take at N.E.W.T level in order to qualify for your desired career. Understand?"
"Perfectly," replied Harry, who was doing his best to ignore the scratching of Umbridge's quill as she scribbled down notes.
"Very well," said McGonagall as she took out a sheet of parchment and laid it on the desk between them. "I have here the list that you submitted a fortnight ago of possible careers that you were interested in discussing further. First on the list was Professional Quidditch Player."
"That's right, but-" began Harry, but was interrupted before he could continue.
"Hem, hem." coughed Professor Umbridge in her corner.
McGonagall pretended to not notice and continued on. "Obviously there are few subjects on the Hogwarts curriculum that can help you in this area. One recommendation that I can made for your N.E.W.T years is that you sign up to assist Madam Hooch in teaching younger students to fly as this shows a willingness to get involved and, above all, team spirit.
"Ok, but-" said Harry, before being interrupted again.
"Hem, hem." coughed Professor Umbridge.
McGonagall took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before continuing. "But of course the best and most obvious thing to do is become proficient at the game itself, something that you are well on the way to perfecting-"
"Yes, but-"Harry tried again, only to again be interrupted.
Professor Umbridge did not bother coughing this time, and instead just began talking. "Minerva, I am afraid that I must interrupt you here. Mr Potter is currently serving a lifetime ban from the sport of Quidditch. This will, of course, extend beyond his school years so suffice to say that discussing the possibility of him ever playing professionally is doing nothing but giving him false hope."
McGonagall's nostrils flared in anger before turning her attention back to the list in her hand.
"Very well, let us set that option aside for now and move on."
"Actually I-" Harry attempted, but McGonagall spoke over him.
"Next on your list is Curse Breaker. I'm sorry Mr Potter, but in order to become a successful curse breaker you must have a good education in the subjects of Ancient Runes and Arithmancy, neither of which you elected to take for your O.W.L years and so cannot take them at N.E.W.T level. Perhaps we ought to be doing more to assist second years when selecting their O.W.L options."
Umbridge scribbled something down on a separate piece of parchment. Like any good idea she heard she stole it and took the credit.
Harry tried to say something, but McGonagall carried on talking.
"Now, your third choice was working in Muggle Relations. Why did you select this option, Mr Potter?"
"Hermione said that I should have something to fall back on if the Quidditch thing didn't work out," replied Harry.
"But you did not take Muggle Studies," said Professor McGonagall.
Harry frowned in confusion before replying "I grew up in the Muggle world and I return there every summer. How am I not qualified? Anyway-"
Umbridge interrupted this time. "I'm afraid that your repeated breaching of the Statute of Secrecy by performing magic in the presence of Muggles will disbar you from consideration for joining the Muggle Liaison Office at the Ministry."
"Fine," said Harry. "But-"
"And your fourth and final option is to join the Auror corps," said Professor McGonagall.
At this Umbridge got to her feet and shouted "There is no chance of Mr Potter ever joining the ranks of the Aurors! His criminal record will see to that!"
McGonagall got to her feet and retorted "He doesn't have a criminal record! He was cleared of all charges by the Wizengamot!"
"On a technicality orchestrated by Dumbledore!"
"HEY!" shouted Harry, jumping to his feet to stand between them. "What kind of example is this to be setting to one of your students?"
His outburst evidently caught them both off guard, for they offered no reply but gaped at him with open mouths.
"Now then, I have been trying to tell you since I came in here that I have actually changed my mind regarding my options."
"Why didn't you say anything?" asked McGonagall.
"Because between the two, of you I couldn't get a word in edgeways. Now, will you two be quiet and let me talk, or should I just walk out of here and file a complaint with anyone and everyone that I can think of regarding the quality of this meeting?"
McGonagall's mouth was a thin line, a sign of anger, but she sat down in her chair and gestured for Harry to do the same.
Harry looked to Umbridge. The toad-like woman was red in the face and ready to explode, but one look at McGonagall's made her sit down.
"Right," said Harry, as he retook his seat. "As I was saying, I have changed my mind regarding my future prospects since handing in that list. A couple of days ago Hermione and I sat down and went through a couple of things, only to come to the conclusion that I probably won't have to do too much work myself once I leave Hogwarts."
Again both women were caught off guard by this and it took McGonagall a few minutes to recover.
"And how, exactly, did you come to that conclusion, Mr Potter?"
"Oh, it's simple really," said Harry "We just had to crunch the numbers."
"Crunch the numbers?" echoed McGonagall.
"Yeah. See, this is how I see it. To start with there is the money that I already have stored away in Gringotts, which I can tell you is already a rather substantial amount. This sum will only be boosted by the lawsuits."
"Lawsuits?" asked McGonagall.
"Oh yes. You see, I've noticed a pattern with the way things go around here. No matter the problems going on, a large amount of them always gets resolved by the end of the school year, say around the middle of May to early June. The way I figure it, the truth about Voldemort's return to power will be revealed about then."
Umbridge tried to interrupt, but McGonagall hit her with a silencing spell, allowing Harry to continue.
"During the few months, well, longer than that when you take the tournament into consideration, I have been on the receiving end of large amounts of slander from various parties, including, but not limited to, the Daily Prophet and the Minister of Magic himself. Once the lawyers have dealt with them others will be getting called upon.
"The Wizengamot, although they ultimately found me not guilty, carried out a trail that should never have happened, so I will be taking legal action against them. The Improper Use of Magic Office failed to fully investigate the circumstances surrounding my two alleged breaches of the Statute of Secrecy and that failure ultimately led to my trial. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement also had a role in this. Both departments will be hearing from my lawyers.
"Both the Department of Magical Sports and Games and the Department of International Magical Cooperation were negligent in their organisation of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, something that saw me illegally entered and forced to participate against my will. They will hear from my lawyers.
"Umbridge here will also be getting a visit, even if only because of this," here he held up his hand to allow McGonagall to see the words 'I must not tell lies' that were scarred into the back of his hand.
"And then, naturally, Hogwarts itself, its staff, the Board of Governors and the Wizarding Examinations Authority will be investigated."
"Why?" asked McGonagall.
"Slander, bullying staff, incompetent staff, the tournament, my little misadventures in my previous years here, her…" he gestured over his shoulder to the silently raging Umbridge.
"Right…" said McGonagall in a small voice.
"Then I figure that I some point in the near future I will have to kill or be killed by Voldemort. If I'm the one killed then my future career won't matter anyway. If I prove successful I will obviously claim the substantial bounty that the Ministry will, by then, have placed upon his head, adding to my fortune. Naturally I will then stake my claim over any wealth that Voldemort has, as well as putting in claims with the families of his many Death Eaters.
"Once that is all over I will begin investing in both the Magical world and the Muggle one, so that I am getting plenty of money from various businesses and properties. I will then employ a highly competent team to run everything while I spend most of my time sunning myself on my very own tropical island."
"I… see…" said McGonagall a few moments after Harry finished his little story. "And I assume that you will still keep the Muggle Relations option as a backup? The Ministry may not employ you but Gringotts and several other businesses may well do so."
"Sure. I'll keep that as a backup."
McGonagall nodded and said "Very well. You may go."
Harry got up and left.
After almost a minute McGonagall looked over to Umbridge and saw that the woman was no longer raging. She lifted the silencing charm on the woman, who then got up and left without saying another word.
That evening three of the four Heads of House were gathered in McGonagall's office for tea and biscuits, and McGonagall told the other two about the unusual careers advice meeting that she had had with Mr Potter.
"Well," said Flitwick. "That may just shed some light on some of the things said by some of my Ravenclaws during their meetings with me."
"How so?" asked McGonagall.
"To start with there was Padma Patil. When she submitted her form, her main idea was to be the brains behind the beauty salon that her sister and Miss Brown were intending to set up. But when we had are meeting she was adamant that she would take over her father's tea-growing business."
McGonagall looked down at the cup in her hands. They were currently drinking tea grown by the Patil family in India. She asked "So how do Mr Potter's plans fit into this?"
"My guess would be to reduce import taxes," replied Flitwick. "For the Patil family to bring their own tea into Britain they have to pay a high rate of import tax to the Ministry. However if Mr Potter were to buy the tea from them, with the transaction taking place while the product is still in India, he could then ship it into Britain at far less cost. This would allow both Mr Potter and the Patil family to benefit, especially if his sense of fair play remains and he pays them a decent price."
"I have no doubt that he will," said McGonagall. "But you say that your Miss Patil no longer wishes to be involved in her sister's idea for a beauty salon. Yet she and Miss Brown both told me that they still intend to open the salon."
"That is correct," said Flitwick. "Miss Turpin and Miss Brocklehurst will be joining the business instead. They claim to already have financial backing."
"So did the other two," observed McGonagall.
"Probably Mr Potter," put in Professor Sprout. "Rumour has it that he has already given the Weasley twins the start-up capital that they require to kick-start their idea for a new joke shop."
"If that is indeed the case, then it would seem that the Potter Business Empire is already beginning to take shape," observed Flitwick.
"Yes, but I am concerned about his intentions to file lawsuits against the school," said McGonagall "What if we're forced to close?"
"I doubt that it will come to that," said Sprout. "But if it does, then I'm sure that Mr Potter will probably have a solution up his sleeve.
Fifteen Years Later…
Time had passed and things had certainly worked out exactly as Harry had planned. By the end of this fifth year at Hogwarts, Voldemort and his followers had indeed been exposed to the world. As a result, Harry Potter's lawyers (the finest Muggleborn wizards-turned-lawyers that could be found) had carried out every action that Harry had threatened.
Both the Ministry and Hogwarts had been hit hard by this but, fortunately by the time all the court cases had been fought and all the paperwork had been filled out, Voldemort had ceased to be a threat due to Harry somehow sealing him in a large rock with the Sword of Gryffindor wedged into the top.
Only a select few knew how he had done this and none of them were prepared to tell. Suffice to say, the Unspeakables were impressed by Harry's display when he fought Voldemort in the Atrium of the Ministry.
A societal shift had occurred and now you either worked for restructured Ministry, for the massively overhauled Hogwarts, for Potter Business Enterprises or you didn't work.
Dolores Umbridge was one of those who didn't work
Dressed now in only ratty clothes gained through charity she shuffled along Diagon Alley, taking in the world around her. Every sign, from Ollivanders' Wand Shop to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions now bore a symbol, that of a snowy owl in flight with a lightning bolt on it. This was a sign that that particular shop was owned, at least in part, by Harry Potter.
It was like that everywhere you went, be it Diagon Alley, Knockturn Alley, Hogsmeade or Godric's Hollow, most wizarding businesses were now controlled by Potter Business Enterprises.
Every broom made in the UK was made by Potter Business Enterprises. Every book was printed by Potter Business Enterprises. Every wand carved, every beer brewed, every owl bred, every robe sewn, every nail manicured, every chocolate frog moulded, every cake decorated, every potion brewed (commercially) was done so by Potter Business Enterprises.
Heck, most of the injuries treated in St Mungo's were done so to some extent through the involvement of Potter Business Enterprises, as no less than five new wards and a complete refurbishment of the old ones had been done with Potter Money, and all medical supplies were brought from the company.
Dolores Umbridge shuffled along the street towards the Leaky Cauldron. She scowled at the sight before her.
The twelve foot high wall that had once stood between Diagon Alley and the courtyard of the Leaky Cauldron was now gone, replaced by a wall only three feet high and with an opening in the middle. The courtyard was now larger and contained a dozen tables with chairs all around them, allowing patrons to enjoy a drink out in the sunlight.
Hannah Longbottom, the Landlady, was handing out a collection of drinks to a group of off duty Aurors. The apron that she wore bore both the logo for the Leaky Cauldron and the one for Potter Business Enterprises.
Umbridge turned away and made her way off down Knockturn Alley. There, half way along, she came to the front door of her current home.
The sign above the door read "Knockturn Alley Homeless Shelter."
And in the corner there was the logo for Potter Business Enterprises.
Many miles away, on a tropical island that one could only get to via a portkey that had been made by the man who owned the place, Harry Potter lay stretched out on the sandy beach, soaking in the sunlight.
Beside him his wife of ten years, Hermione, was scribbling furiously in a notebook, several textbooks (written by her and published by… well, you can probably guess by now) lay open around her.
Harry knew better than to interrupt her when she was like this.
A joyous shout from her caused him to sit up and take notice.
With a bright smile on her face she turned to him and announced "Harry, I think I've figured out a permanent cure for lycanthropy."
Harry smiled and replied "You're on a role love. How about a dip in the ocean to celebrate?"
"You're on!" said Hermione, standing up and flinging her book aside. "Last one there is a bundimun!"
Harry laughed and raced after her.
Life was good.
Well, that's that. I hope you enjoyed it!