Basically she had waited too long. That was what it all came down to in the end. She should have known that eventually he wouldn't wait and find happiness somewhere else; more importantly with someone else. Still it hurt to know that whatever they had shared throughout their journey home, he had apparently long forgotten about it.
On the bright side her future self had guaranteed his lifelong happiness with his future wife. She should be proud of the Admiral for coming up with such a drastic plan yet she can't help but feel betrayed that the older woman had gone back just that little bit further and maybe she could've written herself a happy ending instead.
Selfish is what she was or perhaps she was selfless? After all she did give the man who she had come to rely on and care deeply for to another woman. That was her greatest weakness and unfortunately he hadn't seen through it at all.
With her crew finally home safe and sound her responsibility for their lives is over. She can finally start to forgive herself and try to build a life for herself. But she's now got to settle for someone else and no man could ever in a million years, across the entire galaxy compare to him.
It's what she deserves at least that what she convinces herself. The magic that pulled them together when they started this harrowing journey through unknown and perilous territory had fizzled out. The spark in his eyes that he subconsciously allowed to light up his eyes when she stepped on the bridge died out. Or rather changed direction and focused on something much younger and far more appealing than she had ever been.
She had withdrawn to hide behind the Captain mask and ultimately Kathryn had somewhere along the way stopped existing. The woman who was free and carried no burden was gone and replaced by a guilt ridden Captain trying desperately to get her crew home before it was too late for them to get back to their lives.
Simply because of her stupid need to keep the Captain alive, Kathryn had died and therefore the Cold, hard, thing had disenchanted the warm and comforting First Officer. Fire and Ice can only collide for so long before either the Ice melts or the Fire puffs out and her frozen armour was still too intact even for her own liking.
Watching him with the former Borg now turned young eager and enchanting woman, she knows that in all honestly it is all her fault, both past, present and future self. All versions of her had failed to take into account that although she could turn herself into a selfless machine, he could not.
She wonders briefly how their lives would have turned out if she had accepted all he had to offer and gave him everything she was in return. Images flash through her mind at warp speed of them married, constantly laughing through both the good and the bad times. Then they twist and churn out with him dead because she had made a grave mistake because her head was clouded by her heart.
No, she knows that this is best for everyone because she had not once considered her needs as part of the equation. So she forces her eyes away from them and onto more pressing matters; like what the Admirals are actually saying to her because she has been paying attention for... well she simply has no idea.
Disenchanted is the perfect way to describe the man who once swore to her that her needs became before his own. But if she had been looking his way for a second longer then maybe she would've seen his eyes flicker over to her and see that spark in his eyes that had been diminished so long ago.
A/N: So I've been watching Voyager again as it's showing on the SYFY channel and this just randomly popped into my head and I just had to write it down! So anyway it's a one shot and I'm thinking of just writing different one shots whenever I feel like it. Please let me know what you think