Sam and Other Sam
Jessica Moore loved Sam Winchester. But she also knew there were parts of him she would never understand. Her Sam was quiet, but walked with a confidence about him that she admired. He was smart beyond belief, carried a course load that would make Einstein crack under the pressure. She knew his favourite foods, his favourite movies, and his favourite places to study. She knew who his friends at Stanford were, and she knew that he was poor. She knew he was at Stanford on a full ride, and worked two jobs just so he could make it through the summer. But he never complained about it, and even through his tired eyes, Jessica knew Sam loved her just as much as she loved him. Sometimes for weeks this is the only Sam she would see, but then she would ask the wrong question or someone would say the wrong thing and Other Sam would make his way to the surface. This Sam had hard eyes, void of emotion, and he scared her sometimes.
On their first date, they were having an amazing time, just eating dinner and chatting about school and about their friends. This was the first time she saw Other Sam.
"Tell me about your family, where are you from?" Other Sam's postured stiffened and his eyes grew cold, it was only for a split second, but Jessica didn't know what to make of it. Then her Sam was back and he smiled sadly.
"I'm from Kansas, I have an older brother named Dean, my mom died when I was a baby."
"I am so sorry Sam. What about your Dad?" Sam looked down at his food.
"What about you, where you are you from?" Jessica frowned but decided to let it go for now, it was their first date, maybe she was getting too personal for him. He would tell her someday.
About three months into their relationship, she saw Other Sam again. They were walking back from the movie theatre with their friends Rebecca and Zach when 4 men jumped out from an alley between the buildings. Other Sam took over, and pushed the three of them behind him.
"What do you want?" Other Sam said. His voice was cold and calculated.
"Just a taste of the pretty ladies you boys got there." A growl forced itself from Sam's throat, and one of the men pulled a knife on the college kids.
"Sam, he has a knife man, be careful." Zach said as he tried to step forward. Sam just pushed him back.
"Listen to your friend Sammy, wouldn't want you to get hurt." Sam pounced on the man, loosening the knife from his grip, and managed to get two of the other three men down to the ground, the third ran. The fourth man picked the knife up off the ground and went after Sam, Sam lifted his arm and the knife sliced through his forearm, but he got the man down to the ground, by the time Sam was done, the man was unconscious. Sam stood up and stared at the man on the ground.
"Do not ever call me Sammy." Sam said and then turned back towards his friends. They were all watching Sam in shock, and then Jessica's Sam seemed to take back over his body. "Are you all okay?"
"Are we okay?" Zach said. "Sam, you just got stabbed. You need to go to the hospital." Sam looked down at the slash on his arm like he hadn't even noticed it was there.
"I'll fix it later, lets just get the girls home." Zach was about to argue, but Other Sam was back, so he didn't, they dropped the girls at their dorm and then Sam went back to his. When Jessica saw him the next morning, his arm was stitched up with precision, yet Jessica was sure he never went to the hospital.
Other Sam always appeared when Jessica asked about or looked at Sam's scars. He had a lot of them for a nineteen year old, and whenever she asked, Sam always replied with a short answer.
"What's this one from?"
"And this one?"
"Fell from a tree." Other Sam was always short and to the point, never gave much detail. Jessica began to assume they were from being abused or something, probably by the mysterious father that he never talked about. Sam never denied it and never confirmed it, so she let the questions about the scars go; maybe it was none of her business.
Shortly after Sam's twentieth birthday, he ended up with appendicitis, and had to get his appendix removed. Jessica was so worried, and she felt like she hadn't slept in days. Jessica was attempting to fill out Sam's medical information and it was posing a problem. She knew Sam wasn't allergic to any medication, she knew his height, weight, eye colour, and hair colour. She couldn't answer questions like has he ever had any other surgeries, broken any bones, any lengthy hospital stays. She only knew about the last three years of his life. She filled out what she could and then handed it back to the nurse, the nurse frowned at her.
"This is incomplete Miss Moore."
"I am sorry." Jessica replied. "That is all I really know."
"Well then maybe you should contact someone else, a family member perhaps?" Jessica thought about what to say, she knew Sam had an older brother named Dean, and he had a father out there. But he didn't talk to them, and she had no contact information for them.
"I'm sorry Mam, he has no other family, you will have to ask him the rest of this when he wakes up." The nurse's face changed to a look of pity and she just nodded.
"Go home dear, he will be awake in the morning." Jessica left so she could go home and grab a few hours of sleep and perhaps a shower, when she returned the next morning she began to walk towards Sam's room when she heard voices. She stopped outside the room and listened.
"Sammy, why didn't you call me?" The voice said.
"I had my appendix removed it wasn't exactly an emergency." Other Sam replied.
"I decide when it is an emergency, and hell, even if it was no one would be able to get a hold of me because I am not listed in your file as an emergency contact."
"You were looking at my files?"
"Yep, how do you think I found out you were here?"
"I didn't ask for you help."
"You don't have to ask for it, it's my job."
"Not anymore it's not. I made my decision remember? I walked out, I don't get to go back."
"I didn't know that applied to me too Sammy."
"I am pretty sure John wouldn't agree, go back to your Sergeant, I am sure he didn't give you permission to be here."
"It's Sam! Now go." The other man sighed.
"Okay Sam, I'll go. I hope you find whatever you are looking for, and I hope you are happy." Jessica turned away from the door and listened as the man walked away from her in the opposite direction. She walked away from Sam's door and back to the nurse's desk.
"Can I see Sam Winchester's forms for a minute?" She asked.
"Why?" The nurse asked.
"I don't have a number for the emergency contact, but I figure maybe if I put a name, someone would be able to track him down if they ever need too." The nurse frowned but gave the forms back to Jessica, but when Jessica sat down with the forms, she noticed all of the places she had left blank had been filled in. Sam's tonsils had been removed when he was twelve; he had had several broken bones. Jessica frowned then looked down at the bottom of the page. Under her name in the emergency contact section was another name and number. The phone number of Dean Winchester, relation, brother. Jessica brought the form back to the desk and went back to Sam's room.
"Hey Sam, how you feeling?" Other Sam quickly switched back to her Sam.
"Feeling much better. You don't have to be here you know." Sam smiled.
"I don't mind, I went home last night, just got back. Any visitors when I was gone?" Sam shook his head.
"Nope no one, it has been quiet." Sam looked back at Jessica and she plastered a fake smile on her face, she didn't know why Sam was lying to her, but she figured if the only thing he didn't like to talk about was his father and brother, she could live with that, For now at least. Someday he would tell her truth.
On Sam's twenty first birthday, they went out with some friends to have couple beers and hang out. Sam was laughing and having a good time. Jessica liked this Sam, he was easy going, happy, and mild mannered. He stood up to go get another pitcher and a man in his late twenties walked up to him. Sam's demeanor instantly changed. They exchanged a few words, and then the older man went outside. Sam returned to the table to put the pitcher down.
"I'll be right back." This was definitely Other Sam.
"Where you are going Sam?" Jessica asked.
"Outside. Give me five minutes." Back to short answers, this is why she didn't like Other Sam.
"Do you know that guy?" Sam looked into Jessica's eyes.
"Yes, from a different life." Sam turned and walked out of the bar, and Jessica was mad. Could that answer be anymore cryptic? She excused herself and walked outside. Sam and the other guy were sitting on the hood of a vintage car. She stayed hidden behind the wall and listened.
"Why the hell would I call him?" Sam said.
"Because he is your father? College really hasn't made you any smarter has it Sammy?"
"Phones work both ways, he hasn't called me in three years, what makes you think I am gonna call him? And would you stop calling me that."
"I put up with you through your terrible twos, your clingy five year old days, and your bitchy teenage phase I can call you whatever I want. Just call him Sam, you may be surprised."
"Dad has never surprised me, I don't want to hear what he has to say. Stop beating a dead horse." Sam hopped off the car, and stood on the sidewalk. The older man watched him then pushed himself up and opened the driver's side door.
"Fine, just be careful. You packing?" Jessica froze; surely they weren't talking about guns.
"This is Stanford, I don't need to carry guns and silver bullets." Silver bullets? What a strange thing to say. The older man sighed and shook his head.
"Happy Birthday Sammy." He got in the car and drove away, Sam stood there for a minute with his head down, and Jessica went back inside. A few minutes later Sam returned to the table and slid in next to Jessica.
"Everything okay Sam?" Jessica asked. Her Sam looked up at her and smiled.
"Yeah, everything is great." Somewhere behind his eyes she could tell he was lying, but it was his birthday, it wasn't time to pry, there would be plenty of time for that.
The last time Jessica saw Other Sam, she had flicked on the lights in her living room and saw Sam and the man she had seen at the bar almost two years earlier.
"Sam?" Jessica said sleepily.
"Jess hey." Sam said. "Dean this is my girlfriend Jessica."
"Wait, your brother Dean?" It was Dean she had seen at the bar, and had talk to Sam at the hospital. Sam came over and had his arm around her, and then when Dean said their father was on a hunting trip, Other Sam was back, at she wasn't welcome in this conversation anymore. She watched as Other Sam packed a bag, and promised to be back on Monday. Then all of the sudden she couldn't handle the secrets anymore. She let Sam leave, and decided that after this weekend she was going to ask for the truth, she deserved to know the truth. She thought all that weekend about how to bring it up, and then Sunday night, she decided she was just going to come out and ask. She didn't care if Sam or Other Sam gave her the answer; she just wanted to know everything. So she got out a bowl and a baking sheet, and she started making cookies.