Kings and Pawns

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in it."

-- William Shakespeare

PART ONE: Reflections of insanity

Chapter one

"Okay, are we ready?" Maria, the red headed woman in the powder blue suit asked Jack Mitchell.

"Yes, I'm ready." He said taking one quick look in the mirror, his dark hair combed back and hair sprayed. He was in a black suit two piece suit, black shirt and bright red silk tie.

"You look great." Maria said.

"Okay." He took a breath and went onto the set, there was a large blue arm chair for him and a small black sofa sitting directly across, the lights were dimmed as Jack took his seat and a man come over and attached a small microphone to his jacket.

Cameras were around the set in several different angles and large flood lights were being turned up.

Maria looked at Jack, "Okay, were good to go!"

Roger, the audio man, talked into his phone saying firmly, "Bring her in. We're ready to begin."

The double doors to the right pushed open and two large men in black came through and stood to the side in the studio as a police officer escorted a small woman in, her yellow blonde hair up in pigtails on each side of her smooth face. She held her head up high as the officer was holding her slender arm in his hand, both of her wrists cuffed together in front of her. They'd let her pick out an outfit for the interview, and she chose a red miniskirt and tight black t-shirt she decorated with:




The officer led her over to the sofa where she took a seat and he stepped just outside the set.

Jack smiled politely, "I'm Jack Mitchell, it's a pleasure to meet you miss Quinzel."

Harley smiled and leaned back throwing one slender leg over the other crossing them, her lips were a wet cherry red, "Great to meetcha Jack, and call me Harley, everybody does." She winked one big blue eye with a half smile.

"Okay Harley, how about we get this interview going?"

"Peachy keen Jack." Harley said looking around anxiously, she twisted uncomfortably on the sofa looking at all the cameras.

Maria smiled, "Need anything before we start miss Quinn?" She asked Harley.

"Noppers, I'm good to go." Harley looked brightly at Maria with a blank stare.

"Okay great!" Maria walked clear of the set.

Roger put on his head set and looked at Jack, the cameras all in position and the lights brighter. "3. 2.1." He pointed at Jack, "And…roll."

Jack with his elegant good looks and soft smiled looked into the camera, "Good even Gotham city! I'm Jack Mitchell here with you tonight to bring you the interview you've long awaited. Tonight I have right here in the studio with me Harley Quinn."

The cameras panned out to show Harley and Jack, Harley wiggled her fingers at the camera and blew a kiss.


"Yes Jack?" She smiled at him leaning forward and uncrossing her legs.

"I think everyone is wondering why you decided to do this interview now, after refusing for so long?" Jack looked concerned and serious.

"Well Jack the other day on TV there was this doctor there and she was sayin' all this stuff 'bout me and my Puddin' that was just ridicules! And I couldn't have everyone thinking that, so I just wanted to set the record straight about some things."

"Great, so you wouldn't mind if I asked you some questions then?" Jack asked with a friendly smile.

"Oh sure! Fire away!" Harley giggled softly and leaned back on the sofa again twirling a strand of blonde hair between her tiny fingers.

"I think everyone knows how you met the Joker, as his psychologist in Arkham asylum, but I know one thing I've always wondered is how you could fall in love with him?"

Harley's voice was high and bouncy as usual, "Most people just don't understand Mistah J like I do, he's so much more than just a psychopathic mass-murdering clown. I mean yeah, most girls think I just fell in love with him for that, but that's what the media sees," she sighed dreamily, "inside he's so…" putting her hands to her heart, "so sweet and funny and, and well he's really funny, and dreamy! Mistah J's the ultimate guy. Sure the dangerous twisted murderer is great, but it's the sweet romantic boy behind the smile I fell in love with."

Jack cleared his throat, "Ah, well. How is your relationship?"

Harley sat on the edge of her seat with her hands clasped tightly, "Oh Jack it's wonderful!"

Jack raised a brow, then asked "Moving on, how has Batman affected your life?"

Harley's turned up nose crinkled and she made a sour face saying, "Yuck, he is just such a nuisance! Can you imagine a guy following' you whereva ya move and always getting in the way when your trying to work! It is just impossible to have a nice dinner with out him busting through the roof or window."

"Now that does sound terrible, but Harley, you must admit he's only trying to stop you and Joker from killing people and blowing up the city?" Jack gave her a sympathetic look and inquiring smile.

Harley rolled her eyes, "Yeah yeah, that's his excuse. But me and Mistah J are just tryin' to have a fun night out! There are plenty of other wackos in the city for him to bug."

"So then it's not the Joker's main goal to kill Batman?"

"Oh well sure! I mean if the guy was always weaseling in on your life you'd want to off him too, am I right Jack?" She smiled.

Jack laughed lightly, "Killing is never the answer." He made sure to look into the camera as he said that. "But seriously now Harley, you are incarcerated at Arkham asylum at the moment, do you have any intentions of getting out?"

"Yeah! You know it, I hope to be out real soon."

"And your relationship with the Joker?" Jack asked.

Harley giggled girlishly, "Me and my Puddin' will be getting married."

Jack took a breath and his eyes widened, "Have you plans?"

"Sure I have plans!" Harley said brightly, uncrossing one leg and crossing the other.

"Any date set yet?" Jack smiled playfully.

Harley perked up and said with confidence, "As soon as Mistah J asks me I'll be sure to let you know."

Jack held back a laugh, "Oh-ah, I see."

Harley looked crossly at him and her smile faded, "Yeah well you'll see."

"Is there any one thing you want Gotham city to know about yourself?" Jack asked looking from her to the camera.

Harley looked directly into the camera, smiling softly, her glossy mouth small and round, "Mistah J is the best thing that ever happened to me."

Jack and Harley looked back at each other and Jack said looking earnestly at Harley Quinn, "Thank you for joining me this evening."

"Oh it was my pleasure Jack." She beamed brightly twisting her hands in the cuffs.

Roger held up one finger, then two, then Harley jumped saying, "One more thing, before the cameras go off."

"Yes?" Jack asked nervously looking around.

Harley was holding her handcuffs and she let them drop with a clunk on the floor, "I'd like to announce a special guest!"

Jack stood up and started slowly away from the set when one of the large men in black came over to him saying, "I'd sit back down if I were Mr. Mitchell."

Jack looked at him and felt droplets of sweat forming as he sat back down. He instantly thought of his wife and son. Would he ever hold them again? No, he couldn't think like that. He took a breath.

Harley took a few steps back, brought herself up to full height and looked with a big smile into the camera, "Gotham city your in for a treat, the man who puts the "fun" back into "dysfunctional", Gotham city's very own comedian that makes you laugh until you die! The one and only…Joker!"

The Joker burst through the double doors with his arms out stretched laughing loudly, "Jackie my boy! You didn't think I was going to let you get away with interviewing my little Harleykins and not meeting her maker, and maybe yours." He winked with a big smile and jumped on the sofa and laid back putting his feet up.

Jack looked around, he looked to Roger, whom he saw had been replaced with a thug, and Maria didn't seem to be in sight, Jack wiped at his forehead, "I'm not really prepaid to interview you, but I'd love to, maybe we could set something up?"

Joker laughed, "Oh come on now, you're a good reporter, I'm sure you can come up with something on the spot, if not maybe Larry over there can take your place, hmm?" Joker wiggled his eye brows glancing at his thug, Larry.

Jack tugged at his red silk tie and took a deep breath, "Okay, sure, tell me Joker what is your next big plan?"

Joker give Jack a dull look, unsmiling, then he grinned, "If I told you I'd have to kill you." he winked, then he said, "Oh wait, I'm going to anyway!" Joker laughed.

Harley returned in her skin tight red and black costume and make-up, she perched near the arm of the sofa with a over sized gun dangling in her right hand.

"What is it you want to tell Gotham city?" Jack blurted out.

Joker's deep green and gold flecked eyes locked onto the camera, "Get ready to really…crack up." Joker's big smile widening into a horribly cackling laughter.

Harley grinned and held up her gun and shot Jack, the brightly colored straps flung forward and tired around him as a big thug picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. Harley danced around and waved into the camera. Joker shoved her out of the way and pulled a small bomb from his jacket and tossed it into Jack's seat.