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"Now please turn to page two hundred and forty seven. We need to finish up this lesson pretty soon, as we are already behind track."
I barely am able to pay attention to this lesson, let alone anything else going on in the room. Hell, what's even the point?
There is only one thing that is keeping me from paying attention to this lesson. It's Gwen. Everything of mine always has revolved around Gwen. I can't sleep, and whenever I am able to it is always about her. I can't eat. I ignore people and shut myself out from life. My entire life was always revolving around my sun, Gwen, and now that she's not here with me...it's dying a slow, painful death. My light's gone, so I fade along with it.
Ever since then, my grades have plummeted. Doing homework or paying attention to what goes on in class seems pointless now. They're lucky if I even show up to class. Any friends I once had, have all left me now. They say they miss the old Peter, but as of right now I doubt he will ever be back.
Aunt May didn't know what to do with me these past few months. We no longer spoke to each other, locking myself in my room and only leaving the house when I knew she was asleep to avoid confrontation. I know she was heart broken, but I couldn't find myself able to say anything to her. She would comfort me with words I didn't deserve and tell me to move on which I knew I could never do. I couldn't deal with hurting her anymore, so I eventually decided to move out and get an apartment of my own a month ago. It definitely isn't the best quality place, but what does it matter? What doesn't anything matter anymore? I'm stuck with my life stagnating in hell. Even a painful death seems to intrigue me at this point.
" !?" my college professor's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, making me look up at her in surprise. Everyone turned their heads to look at me, probably happy they could get a break from this lesson. "I've said your name four times."
"Yes, ?" It came out more annoyed than polite than I had intended.
"Mrs.Philips, Parker. Are you even paying attention at all, dear?"
I paused for a moment before answering, squinching my eyes shut to calm myself down and clear my head. Yelling wouldn't change anything for the better. Once I was able to speak, I opened my eyes again.
"Honestly, no. No, I'm not . How can I?" I clenched my hands tightly, breaking the mechanical pencil I had in half. "Excuse me, I have to go. I rather not take this out on you." Remorsefully, I shoved the textbook into my backpack and sped up my pace as I left the room. The whole class looked at me either with confusion or annoyance, while looked rather concerned. I feel bad for wasting her time, she is one of the kindest people I have ever met, but I couldn't stand being in that room anymore. Leaving was my only option.
Once I left the building, I checked my phone to see if there were any messages I missed. Well, that's the reason I told myself but I actually just wanted to see Gwen's smiling face. We had taken this silly photo a week before graduation when we were at her brother's birthday party. I would kill just to see her smile like that again.
After a few moments of imagining what it would be like if Gwen were still here with me, I put the phone back in my pocket and decided to head to the hospital Gwen was at. Everyday, at least once, I always checked up on her to see how she was doing. So far, there wasn't any progress. She was still Sleeping Beauty, laying still in her bed with her sparkling eyes and vivid personality hidden from the world.
Once I had gotten to the hospital, I waved to the woman at the front desk.
"Hello . Please sign in and you can be on your way."
"Alright. Is there anything new with her?" I asked as I signed my name.
"Afraid not, she's still in the same state she was when we got her. I'm sorry, Peter." She looked almost regretful saying that, but I was the idiot who always asked this question every time I came here. I credited her for still being so kind and patient with me. Maybe I should try remember her name to at least make it up to her. "Stay strong though, I'm sure that's what she would want."
"You're right. Thank you." I waved her good-bye, the woman - Diane that's her name - smiling gloomily back towards me. I walked into the elevator and clicked the floor number I remembered all too well. Before I knew it, I was Gwen's room. Once again, I was the only one in here. Her mother left with her Gwen's brother to go vacation. Of course, it wasn't near by though, rather it was out of the country. No one really knew where they were exactly. I guess they wanted to forget the world they were in. I understand that they wanted to leave everything bad behind them, but to leave Gwen alone here disgusted me. Even though the likelihood of her waking up is small, what if she does? Doesn't she even care about her damn child?
I walked over to Gwen, sitting on the bed next to her. I grazed the back of my hand over her cheek, feeling her smooth, angelic skin which forced a soft smile onto my face.
"Hi Gwen. I'm here, like usual." I moved my hand through her light blonde hair, moving a few strands away from her face. "How are you?" I waited for a moment for her to respond, grasping the small ounce of hope I had left in me. Knowing she wouldn't respond, I sighed. "My day was alright. Guess who left class early again? You're right, it's this rebel right here. I guess college is too easy for me, maybe I should drop out." I chuckled, knowing she would kill me instantly. "Don't worry, I'm just messing with you." I looked out the window, seeing it begin to snow lightly.
"Gwen, I miss you so much." My voice now a meer whisper. As I moved my eyes back to her, I couldn't help but really hope she would speak up. "I miss you so so so much. Life's hard, you know, and it seems to get even more miserable without you being here with me. It's like my life is gone now and I have nothing keeping me going besides you." I couldn't help what came from my lips anymore. My mind was sure that it would speak everything it had to say without it's own consent.
"I want you here, with me again. If I weren't such a damn idiot, you wouldn't be hurt like you are right now. You'd be somewhere safe and living your life. This is all my fault." tears were rushing from my eyes now, my voice breaking up and cracking as I spoke between sobs.
"I'm so sorry, Gwen. I'm sorry I couldn't get to you in time. I love you Gwen, I'm so sorry." Wiping tears off my face with my jacket sleeve, I shut myself up before I brought myself to an all time low. I knew if I got too emotional, I could do something no one could truly forgive for.
"Gwen?" I looked down, seeing her eyes still shut. I must be going insane now. However, after a moment more, she batted her eyelashes slowly, her eyes half-lidded.
"Peter...? What's going on?" She rubbed her eyes to help herself see better; it only seemed like she was just waking up from an evening nap. Her voice was so soft and delicate, it felt like even the smallest noise or movement could kill it. I found it was hard to convince myself that everything that was happening before my eyes wasn't a dream.
I grabbed her and held her in my arms, causing her to gasp a little bit from surprise. This isn't fake, it's real. She's alive. God dammit, she is alive!
My tears became rapids escaping my eyes. "You're awake! You're finally awake! Oh my god, Gwen."
"Of course I'm here, Peter." Gwen looked around the room slowly, then turning back to look at me. Her expression was weak, but still able to convey how confused she was. "Wait, where am I?" Gwen cleared her throat, trying to make it sound less groggy.
"You're at the hospital. After what had happened five months ago, I brought you here. You've been asleep ever since." I put my hand behind my head, looking down at my lap to avoid her shock, but only looked back at her in time to see how taken aback she was.
"Five months!?" she whispered loudly, slowly waking up from the state she was in before.
"Yeah." Gwen raised an eyebrow, skeptical. What, does she really think I'd lie to her?
"Don't mess with me bug boy, I'll kick your ass."
I chuckled, yep my Gwen was back.
"Gwen, I wouldn't lie about something like this. I swear on my 'Spidey abilities.' "
"Wait, so what day is it?"
"The first of December, actually." Her eyes averted to the window near her, watching the city slowly gain a white blanket of snow over itself.
"How many snows have I missed?" Her voice was quiet and calm once again, me not being able to tell if she was either serene or sorrowful. I didn't know whether to be nervous or calm, but I did know one thing for sure - she looked stunning. She was a goddess in my presence, a person I truly didn't deserve to even be looking at.
It took me a few moments to remember what she had said, quickly taking away the small, foolish smile off my face and coming back to reality.
"Did I miss the first snow?"
"No, actually this is the first. It's been snowing for a few minutes. It began around the time I walked into the room."
"That's good. The first snow is probably one of the most beautiful things one could experience. You never know which one could be your last." She smiled a littly, looking like the innocent, smart girl she was. One of the best things about Gwen was that even the smallest of details that one normally wouldn't notice could take her interest and bring a smile to her face.
"I see she's woken up?" A bit startled, Gwen and I looked at the door and saw her main doctor, .
"Yah, for a few minutes now." I answered, not being able this time to take off the gleaming grin on my face.
"Peter, could you please leave the room for a bit? I want to do some tests to see how she is doing. From what I see, I think she'll be fine, however." Well, he could've at least pretended to have been happy that his patient was awake. What, did it make him have to do more paperwork? If Gwen hadn't been in the room, I would have probably said something I might have really regretted and then have embarrassed her for saying it.
I looked over at Gwen, who nodded at me with a smile, assuring me it was fine to leave. I bent down and kissed her on the forehead gently. As I left the room, I glared at the doctor. He looked at me a little nervously and retreated by looking at Gwen once again. Heh, figures. A nurse soon walked in after I had left, closing the door behind her. Even though I could have easily still listened to the conversation - thank you Spidey abilities - I decided it be best not to. I'll ask him in a minute anyway.
I walked over to a bench in the hallway and put my hands on my face, sighing. I still couldn't believe it. My Gwen is here again, she's back and alive and safe from harm. I wanted to cry and scream and yell it through out the whole city. It was as if the world could now be seen in a bright, warm light and any danger or sadness the world once had was now rid of. I got my Gwen back, my life is now alive like before and my heartbeat actually means something once again.
I heard the door open, the nurse and doctor leaving the room. She handed him a bunch of papers on a clipboard and walked away, the doctor reading over it thoroughly. I walked up to him, the patience I was had now gone.
"So what's wrong with her?" I asked, coming off a bit rude.
"Peter, you're not direct family so I don't think I can give you the details."
"Wait, no no no. Please, doctor. I really care, well obviously. Please. Besides, her family is out of town, you know, and they won't be back for a month and a half."
"Well, that is true." he sighed, putting a hand through his hair. "You're lucky I like you, Parker. Her memory seems to be great, surprisingly. Usually, the patient forgets everything that has happened up to a few months before the accident, but I guess she remembers everything up until her falling into a coma. Everything seems fine, except her health."
"What do you mean her health? You just said her head was fine!"
"Everything from the neck up is fine, however she is very weak. Her body is going to have to recover tremendously. She may be stunted from walking an average distance again." No, I had to be hearing this wrong. Couldn't I just cover my ears and make any bad news go away?
"She is very weak and will need to be looked after quite often. It may not be permanent, however. It could be a year at the shortest possible or for the rest of her life. If there is no improvement from then on...I'm sorry to say there isn't much else we can do."
"Are you sure? There isn't some sort of drug or shot or procedure that can be done?" I wanted a good answer to come from him somehow. Hell, if Oscorp could make half of the stuff they do, why wouldn't there be a cure for this?
"Well, not all of us are as magical as a god or even Spider-Man for that matter, Parker. Look, basically she is very weak and could get better. The likeliness of that is very low, but isn't impossible. If she does return to being able to walk normally, she will still need to be monitored. Her health will never fully recover, that is, but could be at least much closer to it than she is now. She will have her up and down days. Some will be better than others."
"Okay, I get it , I think."
"Whether she gets better or not, when she is sick and/or getting past the age of almost thirty she will be have to watched constantly to make sure her condition doesn't worsen. When she is sick, her health will dramatically weaken. It doesn't mean she won't recover, it just means she will be weak for the amount of time. Basically, her immune system has really weakened. Having any children is out of the question."
"Okay, thank you so so much doctor."
"I take it you will be the one watching her?"
"Wait, what? Not that I wouldn't want to, don't get me wrong, but I'm sure her parents...I mean her mother would want that job."
"From what I see, she doesn't have much family besides her mother and brothers, whom we can't get a hold of. We will keep calling her mother, but no one is picking up. Her grandparents are deceased and she has no aunts or uncles or even any further family that we can tell. Look, she is supposed to be staying here then by herself in bed all day if we can't get her somewhere else. I like you Parker, I'm sure I can pull some strings and fake a few records to get you to watch the girl. You're lucky I'm the head doctor in this hospital and I am a good friend of your aunt."
"I understand, thank you again. I will put my life to taking care of this girl, I promise. When can I take her home?"
"Tomorrow afternoon she will be let go, as there isn't really any other tests or things we can do with her as of right now. She will need to check in with us every other month to check how she is, unless she is very ill or some problem pops up."
"Alright, thank you very much sir. I won't let you or anyone else down. May I go see her now?"
"Go ahead, she is wanting to see you quite desperately, actually."
"So, how much were you explained?"
"The whole thing. The only thing I'm not sure of is where I'll be staying. Apparently, my parents are off in some country on vacation. I don't blame them. I mean, if your daughter was in a state where it looked like she wouldn't make it out, would you want to be depressed twenty-four/seven? I'm glad they took a break."
"Gwen, don't talk like that. They would want to be here for you to wake up, it's just -"
"They didn't think I would. I get that. It's a miracle I'm even alive, I know."
"That's not what I meant."
"Peter, just leave it alone. I'm fine, really. I will just be in the hospital another month or so until they come back."
"That's not true. You'll be living with me for now."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll be the one taking care of you."
"Wait, what? No, I'm not. There is no way I'll be making you take care of me - especially in this condition. Nope. Not happening."
"Gwen, it's already been decided. I already spoke with the doctor, so it's official. Deal with it, life isn't fair."
"You little bug boy!"