Warning: The following chapter contain Explicit +18 sexual content. Continue on your own best judgement.
The door to the Commander's cabin was of course locked, the door panel shining red. I couldn't let that deter me now, not when fear was making my stomach knot and twirl within me. I couldn't loose her. I just couldn't.
I banked on the door. No answer.
"Shepard!" I called. "Let me in."
"Go away!" came her muffled voice from the other side and I had the sudden feeling of deja vu, only from the wrong side of the door.
If that's how she wanted to play it. I called up my omnitool and quickly hacked her lock. It only took me a few seconds, for lets face it, compared to some of the mechanics I hacked on a regular basis, the security on the Normandy wasn't exactly advanced. The door swooshed open.
"... the fuck!" Shepard ran up the short stairs to her office area and the small corridor leading to the door. "How the fuck dare you!" She yelled furiously and stared at me with burning eyes. "You asshole!"
Far back in my head a small voice said that this might not have been the best way to go about starting this conversation. Unfortunately I didn't see how I had much of a choice.
"Shepard, listen," I started but she cut me off.
"No, oh no! Now you want to talk?" She gestured with her hands in the air, shaking her head in disbelief. "You've had your chance, Vakarian! Get the hell out of my quarters!"
My stomach did a back flip and my heart stopped beating in my chest. Was it really to late? It couldn't be. Please tell me it wasn't.
"No, you have to listen." I hurriedly tripped over my own words. Trying, wanting, needing to make her understand.
"First you make me care," she started and pointed an aggressive finger towards me. "Then you ignore me." He voice was harsh and the cold fury beneath it was terrifying as she took a few steps closer. "Then you saunter around with your new lover by your side like some..." Her voice broke. "I could have accepted if you wanted to be with Thane if you would just have..."
"Thane?" I interrupted her. She was nuts. She really thought...? "Thane is just a friend. I wouldn't... I'm not... Shepard, really?"
Her cheeks turned blushy red, but the fire was still in her features. She pushed in on my space and stared me dead in the eyes, inches from my face.
"What would you have me think?" she spat.
Oh no, this was to close, way to close. I tried to back up, but there wasn't really any room to move. Her scent washed over me in waves and I was drowning in it. It was making my head spin and my gut burn. She was so close and all I wanted, all I could think off, was grabbing her and... A low growl started deep in my chest. Her skin was so exposed and thin and I could almost taste it on my tongue. Her slender neck taunting me.
"Vakarian!" she growled when I didn't respond.
My eyes snapped to her face and there was those tender, supple lips I knew so well by now. I knew how they felt pressed against my own. How they could bend and wrap around me and make me scream.
The growl in my chest rose and I couldn't stop myself as I snaked a hand in behind her head. My fingers curled around red silken locks and I pushed her forward until our mouths crashed together. Shepard let out a surprised little noise and I felt hands push against my chest, trying to get me off. But I couldn't stop now. Now that I finally had her here, after night after night dreaming about her and longing to touch her. My other arm wrapped around her, my hand pushing against the small of her back and forcing her flush against me. Just the feel of her. Spirits, so small and soft and warm in my arms. A violent shudder went through my body.
Shepard turned her head away from my lips and looked at me from the corner of her eyes. Shock and apprehensiveness written clear in them.
"What are you..." she started but I captured her mouth with mine again. Teeth slightly nipping her lips and tongue darting out to gain access.
My hands hurried along her body, trying to feel all of her at once. Pulling and pushing her to get her impossibly closer to me. I wanted her so desperately my body almost screamed for her. Then the smell of her arousal hit my nose and her mouth opened and finally let me taste her. Our tongues meeting, our breaths coming quick and ragged out of us. I let her swallow my moan and started to push her back through the room.
In my hurry to get her to the bed I stumbled on the stair. I hadn't let her go yet and it ended up with us crashing into the aquarium. It had to do. I needed access to more skin now and taking off her clothes the normal way just took too much time. Fabric ripping filled the air as the black little top she had on met my claws. It fluttered useless to the floor at the same time I left her lips and trailed her neck down with my tongue. I just couldn't get enough of her. She smelled so incredible and her breath against the side of my neck sent shivers through me.
"You'll pay for that." But the tone of her voice wasn't in any way threatening as I captured one of her breasts in my hand and squeezed.
"Promises, promises," I breathed and my lower harmonics vibrated with lust. I played with her breast and kissed and nipped her collarbone, down over the soft mounds and back up to her neck again, lavishing her skin with my tongue. All the while her breath quickened and soft, high pitched, whimpers came out of her. I could listen to those sounds all day long. Especially if she kept gripping my fringe like that.
My plates were rapidly shifting open and this wasn't enough any more. My heart was thudding in my ears as I pulled the shirt I had on over my head, not bothering with the buttons, they took too long. The cloth hadn't even had a chance to hit the floor before my claws were at her belt. Quickly undoing the buckle and buttons, my movement shaky from want.
"Hey, hey," she said and started to grab my hands and wrist in a try to slow me down. "What's the rush sailor?"
I couldn't answer. I couldn't even get the thoughts assembled enough to form a response. Her smell and warmth made me heady and all I could think about was being inside of her. Now. Preferably sooner. For all her skill in combat the human woman didn't have a chance against a turian man in his prime when it came to strength and I almost didn't even bother to slap her hands away.
There, her pants was open and my hand went inside her underwear and my mouth found the thin skin on her neck again. I pressed my chest against her to feel her warmth along my body and when my fingers started to do the dance they knew so well by now her hands just fell away. A groan escaped her and her back hit the aquarium glass behind it. I tried my damnedest to not simply rip her pants off as well and take her rough right here. Even though it was hard. Hard, and uncomfortably tight in my pants right now. It wanted to feel the same slick heat my fingers were toying with and... Spirits! My teeth dug down into her skin where neck met shoulder as I tried to stifle a desperate, tormented keening sound that forced it's way out of my throat. A finger slipped inside her and the shaky breath next to my ear took my attention away from how the salty taste hit my tongue.
I could feel her shiver in my arms and I let go of her shoulder with my teeth. The red dripped down my chin and it felt great. The smell of her blood mixing in the air together with sweat and our combined arousal called to me. To a deep, dark and not often spoken about, part of me. It wanted out, it wanted to play and feast and it had Shepard as a likely candidate for both.
Her hands were trembling at my waist, undoing my pants. Finally, finally I could let it out. I more or less tore her pants down her legs and only gave her enough time to step out of them before I hefted her up with strong hands around her thighs. My claws sunk deep into her muscles and got a firm and steady grip. I pinned her against the tank with my upper body before I searched for her opening without even bothering to pull my pants all the way down. They had slipped a little off my hips, just enough so I wasn't bothered by them.
There it was, moist and warm and... My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to hammer it's way through my ribcage. There really had been so long since I last lost myself like this. I had forgotten what an incredibly feeling it was to simply let go and let instinct take over.
My mouth found hers at the same time I pushed into her, but I had almost not even time to taste her before she threw her head back and called out. Her thin fingers were clawing at my neck and every little thing she did. From how her legs rubbed my waist to how she arched into my body felt great. I ground my teeth together and snarled as I pushed in further. Holding back the pleasure that wanted to well up and sweep my feet away.
The snarl built into an all out growl when I started to pull back again. My head was spinning from how wonderful she felt. So tight I almost thought I wouldn't be able to fit. Her soft insides molding to wrap snugly around me.
"Fuck Garrus," she moaned as I started to thrust into her.
There was no holding back as I usually did, no slow buildup to draw the moment out. I couldn't think any more, my mind solely focused on one goal. To draw as much pleasure as I could from the sweet friction I found within her. I could feel the blood from the wounds on her thighs, where I was holding her in place with my claws, drip warmly over my fingers. I drove into her harder, faster, the fire steadily building in my gut. I was only distantly aware how Shepard moaned each time my hips met hers. How she desperately clawed at my neck and shoulders, her face contorted in pleasure, eyes tightly closed.
There it was, the glorious tension I was looking for. It pushed little by little up through me until I thought I was going to faint if it didn't hit soon. But it did. It exploded and all I could see for a moment was the white blinking lights in front of my eyes. Through the buzzing noise in my ears I heard Shepard scream, high pitched and beautiful. My own throat tightened as I convulsed inside of her, drawing a guttural sound out of me.
"Holy shit," she laughed, high on endorphins. "What was..."
Shepard didn't get much further before I turned us, still holding her up, and threw her on the bed. She squeaked in surprise when she landed, bouncing slightly on the soft covers. I scrambled out of my pants as fast as I could. The only thought in my head to be inside her again. I wanted more. I couldn't get enough. The high still rolling through my body and the only thing I could think about was to hunt down another one.
I crawled up over the bed after her, pulled her ankle to meet me halfway. Turned her around and with one hand around her hips pushed her up on her knees, the other already lining myself up with her again. I was still rock solid and when my hot, blood filled limb touched her inner thigh she turned her head and gave me a confused look. I had never lasted more than one orgasm before. Granted the circumstances were quite different now.
The question that was playing on her lips disappeared in a bit down utterance as I buried my entire length inside of her again. Both me and her were still slick from our combined fluids and it was like sliding into a little bit of heaven. I rumbled contently in my chest as I started to move again, setting a comfortable , lazy rhythm. My hands stroking her back and sides and everywhere over the pale expanse of soft skin they could reach. The embers in my stomach getting more fuel for the fire with every thrust.
The rumble still reverberating in my chest I leaned forward and pressed my body to hers, keeping her pinned to the bed, as I took a decisive grip of her hips and pushed in deep. Her hands flew out in front of her and gripped the sheets until her knuckles whitened. I picked up the pace as I felt her tighten slightly around me. I groaned against her neck, her hair covering my face teasing my nose with her scent. Her skin too delicious to pass up I ran my tongue over it, enjoying the taste and feel.
Shepard was just so good I could almost not stand it and I simply wanted more of her all the time. With one hand still on her shoulder, keeping her pressed into the covers, I rose up on my knees again. The other hand tilting her hips for a better angle. I penetrated as deep as I could and she called out, our moans mingling around us. Mine low and rough and hers high and soft. Oh Spirits I wanted to hear more of those sounds.
Her body was so squeezable, muscles rippling and giving away under my fingers as I ran them roughly from her shoulder down her back. Drawing her in further towards me. My hunger for her was insatiable and I let out a keening thrill in my desperation for her. My talons dug into her back and red blood pooled in the furrows I left down it. The smell danced above us and made my head spin.
I lifted one of my knees and put my foot on the bed, giving myself better leverage to pound into her. The pace I kept made our breaths come out in harsh sharp pants.
"Garrus," she whimpered beneath me. Shepard turned her head and looked at me sideways, her eyes glass like in the low light, her brows furrowed.
I leaned down, the hand not keeping her hip locked into position nestled it's way under her arm and grabbed hold of her shoulder. I licked it, trailing nips and kisses up her neck to her cheek. Licking the corner of her mouth. Spirits, I loved this woman. Her complete trust in me blatantly obvious in those deep green eyes of hers. Something hot stirred within my chest and blossomed out through my body.
All of a sudden the intensity in our joining changed. My hips slowed, drawing all the way out before going deep inside again. She cried out with each impact and closed her eyes tight. This woman. All soft and warm and just so damn pliable in my arms... I would never risk loosing her again.
My lips found her neck, the wound from earlier still red. I dug my teeth in deep, marking her as mine. Because, fuck it, I would make damn sure no one else ever so much as considered taking her away from me again.
I growled deep in my throat and that's when I felt her squeeze around me. The last thrust sending me tripping over the edge, my roar muffled in her neck. My body shook with the intensity as my muscles spasm all throughout it. I came apart and shot into her, her voice filling my ears as I felt like I was becoming so light I was about to float away into space. Wave after wave rolled like shocks through me, emptying me completely.
After what felt like an eternity at least halfway to heaven I came back to my body. My heart was beating like a sledgehammer, slowly slowing down as I drew in the breath I wasn't aware I was holding. I blinked the last dots in front my eyes away from my cornea and slipped out of her. I rolled to my side, hoping I hadn't already crushed her under my weight.
Shepard was panting, fingers still clutching the bedspread, as she opened her eyes and looked at me with incredulously. Her hips fell down onto the bed and she bade a sound as if in pain.
That's when I comprehended the reason for the underlying smell mixed in with our scents. Her blood. Oh fuck... What had I done?
I sat up, feeling my muscles protest from the earlier exertion, and looked around. Shepard's bed was in shambles. My talons had dug into the covers and torn them apart during our passion. On top of that they were red from her blood. Her back looked like someone had used it as a scratching post and her hips were already starting to bruise.
My heart frozen in my chest I stumbled out of bed and ran for the bathroom. As I grabbed the medi-gel out of the cabinet my hands shook so bad I almost dropped it. When I shut the door and I saw my own face in the mirror and it made my knees go weak. All around my mouth there was the red hue of levo-based blood. My teeth and tongue were drenched in the stuff. Still shaking I looked down on my hands and chest. It didn't help calm me in the least.
Ears abuzz with white noise I turned on the water and started to clean off in a panic. My head was spinning and I had to lean on the counter and remind myself to breathe. It wasn't easy when I saw the diluted red swirl down the sink. There were just so much of it.
Spirits, what had I done? How could I have hurt her like that? Maybe she should see me as an animal. I certainly did now. Shepard would never want to look at me again after this. I felt sick to my stomach. How mad was she? Would she throw me off the ship? Hell, I almost hoped she would. I was not worthy to be here, not after what I had just done.
I swallowed down a huge lump in my throat and grabbed the gel again. I steeled myself the best I could as I opened the bathroom door and walked out towards the bed.
Shepard lay still on the blankets, her cheek resting on a pillow and her face unreadable. She studied me silently. All I wanted to do was to turn around and run, but no one would ever be able to say that the Vakarian's were cowards. I had a whole row of other, less pleasant, words waiting for me to describe myself with right now, but coward was not one of them. I stopped by her bed and reached out for her to take the 'gel.
"I..." My voice cracked and the sound cut into my ears. It was to loud for some reason. I cleared my throat. "I... I'm sorry. I guess I'll be going now and... and if you want me off the ship I understand." I dropped the medi-gel next to her on the bed and started to turn but her hand shot out and snatched my wrist. I stopped mid-step and pulled a shaky breath. I didn't want to see the disappointment and anger in her eyes. Wasn't it enough that I had to live with myself after what I'd done to her? No, no this was perhaps a fitting punishment. To meet the eyes of the one I respected most in the entire galaxy and see the pain in them knowing I had put it there.
I turned back to her, readying myself for the accusations, the anger. But it wasn't there. Her face was apprehensive, but it wasn't fear I saw in it, not really. I didn't understand.
"I can't reach all over my back," she said after what seemed like an eternity of tense silence. Shepard sat up with a groan and grabbed the 'gel, turned around and waited for me to start apply it on her skin.
How could she still stand for me to touch her?
When I didn't move she opened the 'gel pack and held it out for me. Okay... I guess I could do this. Maybe she didn't want to go down to med bay looking like this? A part of my brain told me that didn't make any sense. But the rest of me wanted desperately to still be part of her world and if this was the last time I got to spend with her then... No, that hurt to much to think about.
I gingerly sat down behind her and carefully started to apply the healing solvent over the screaming red claw marks on her back. Maybe this was a kind of punishment in itself.
The silence stretched between us again. I didn't know what to say. What did you tell someone you just had more or less forced yourself on and then sliced her to shreds?
"So..." Shepard said, her voice tentative. "Perhaps some kind of explanation would be in order?" Yes, explanation. My confused mind grabbed at this one solid thing I could do for her. But how to go about it? There was so much... Where to start? "Oh come on! You are not getting out of explaining yourself this time!"
"Will you hold up!" I said with perhaps a bit more gusto than I had intended. "Give me a minute, I'm trying to think." A pearling sound, like rippling water in a spring brook, sprang forth out of her and it was like balm for my soul. Was she laughing? "Okay, I don't know if you've been to Palaven, but the continent which turians originally come from has a large volcano." I paused, because that didn't seem like the way to start things. I rubbed the salve into her back as I thought. "About every fourth year our moons reach a point in their orbits where they are very close. A sort of alignment I guess you could say. It affects the planet in some strange ways, one of which is making the volcano erupt. The smoke covers the sky for miles in all directions." Shepard kept quiet apart from the occasional hiss of pain as I spoke. "Don't make me go into the specifics of this. I bet Mordin can break it down for you if you're really interested. But I don't know it all. All I know is that all life surrounding the volcano has adapted to double their efforts to stay alive every four years. Flowers bloom, animals mate..." I coughed to clear my throat. "Yeah... Everything and everyone goes into this flurry of reproduction. Strength in numbers I guess, and this includes the turians." I was getting kind of uncomfortable talking about this and I was really happy Shepard was facing the other way, so I didn't have to meet her gaze. When I was finished applying the medi-gel I almost had to force my hands to leave her skin. All this talk about reproducing had my plates start to shift again. "As long as anyone can remember, this time every cycle has been a festival on my planet. A chance to... rest I guess you could say. Three weeks of music, dancing and fun. No one can really concentrate on their jobs anyway, not with all the hormones flowing around their bodies. A festival of rejuvenation. For everything on the planet. To prepare for the hard times to come." I had stood up and started to pace by the bed as I talked, or maybe you should call it ramble.
Shepard had turned and was looking at me with one eyebrow raised, a smirk hinting on her lips.
"So are you telling me this whole thing has been about you being in heat?" The laugh was not very well hidden beneath her words.
I stopped, looking at her, scratching my neck with one hand awkwardly. It was a good thing turians couldn't blush.
"You make it sound so simple," I said.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" she wondered.
I shifted were I stood.
"I was afraid you'd think I was some kind of animal," I told her truthfully. "I didn't want to loose your respect."
"I wouldn't think that," she said, looking upset that I thought so little of her. "Why would you say that?"
"Oh, I don't know..." I grabbed my head between my heads and started to pace again. "Spirits, Shepard! Just look at you!" I swung around and gestured towards her bloodied, trashed bed and then to her. "It looks like someone let loose an angry Varren in your bed."
She turned then, her side to me, legs under the blankets, inspecting her sleeping place.
"So how do you do it on your planet?" she asked.
"Our beds are built to withstand our claws and our women have just as much plating as us." I realized a second to late how that came out.
"You saying I'm too soft for you?" She looked irritated.
"No." I cringed inside. I didn't think she was any kind of soft, but that wasn't entirely true either. "But yes." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Well, you do bleed kind of easy!" I threw out with my arms. Nothing I said was going to sound right.
"I'm sturdier than I look, Garrus," she muttered, casting me a nasty glance.
I went to her then. Sitting down at her side, almost close enough to touch, but I didn't dare.
"I know that," I said, trying to appease her. "But you can't... I mean... I cut you... I couldn't control myself." That's when I saw the bite mark on her neck, her hair had covered it up before. "Spirits, I'm sorry." I hurriedly moved her hair out of the wound and started to reach for the 'gel pack, but she caught my wrists in both of her hands.
"Don't be," she said, her hands sliding along my skin until they gripped my fingers. My heart started to pound in my chest and my plates shifted a little further. The feel of her warm skin, our fingers intertwined. The mark of my teeth in her neck.A soft rumble started to stir within me.
"It's going to scar," I protested and tried to pry my hands free. Granted I didn't do a very good job. A part of me wanted her to have that scar.
It was eerie, how Shepard sometimes seemed to know my thoughts.
"Do you want it to?" she asked.
My heart sped up and I couldn't stop myself from looking up into her eyes. They were insecure, clear and green. She must know that kind of mark meant something to a turian. My heart ached to tell her yes, yes I wanted her to keep it, to let it scar and show the rest of the world that she belonged to me. If this had been any other saga I would have told her I loved her. She would have said it back. But this was still new and we could both still die tomorrow so I kept my mouth shut.
The moment hung in the air, all the things between us left unsaid. After a while she reached up and caressed my mandible with her thumb softly.
"So you're not going to throw me off the ship?" was the only thing that popped into my brain. Her touch made my mind get so fuzzy.
The pearling sound of her laughter poured over me and I shifted where I sat. I coughed again and started to rise, letting her go.
"Well... Good, that's good." I scratched my neck. "I guess I should... hrm... go, let you sleep... or something."
"Or you could stay a while," she suggested.
I was glad I had turned around already because that prompted a hole flood of images of what we could be doing if I stayed. I felt air waft over me as I emerged.
"Maybe not the best idea," I said as I slowly made my way over to where I had thrown my clothes.
She really wanted to know why? Well, this evening couldn't get much more humiliating so why not just go with it. I turned slightly, letting my interest in staying show perfectly clear.
"Unless you want to really have your bed destroyed and... well... I can't promise things will go much more gentle this time."
Was that a shiver I saw creep down her spine? I quirked an eyebrow at this revelation.
"There are plenty more medi-gel in the bathroom," Shepard pointed out. "And screw the bed."
"The bed, huh?"
"Or, you know, me, works too."
The characteristic Shepard-grin spread over her lips and she squealed when I threw myself at her, my heart afloat high above among the clouds. I had the best woman in the whole galaxy.