I quickly scribbled down this ficlet for a challenge. I am considering writing more Julian/Sam and Julexis family stuff if anyone's interested. Please let me know. Thanks!
In My Father's Eyes
"Did you love him?" Julian asked as she stared vacantly at the ground where just an hour before, Silas Clay had been laid to rest. Nina had shot him twice in the chest before turning the gun on herself. Sam felt horrible about it. Most of all, she felt horrible because she already knew the answer to Julian's query.
Sam kept her eyes riveted on the temporary headstone. "Doesn't matter now, does it?"
"It does if you're going to spend the rest of your life mourning him. That would be a waste."
She glared at Julian now. Her eyes, so much like his, blazed. "You sonuva-" She broke off as she spotted her mother watching them. Alexis wanted nothing more than for father and daughter to make peace, but it didn't seem possible.
"You heartless jerk," Sam amended.
Julian seemed unfazed. She had called him worse. "I don't want you to waste time grieving over a man who didn't even have the decency to tell you he was married before he hopped into bed with you."
"Says the man who didn't have the decency to tell me he was my father for the longest time! Who-"
"Sam, let's not rehash all of this right now."
Sam shook her head. "You truly are something else."
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry you're hurting. I don't want to see you hurting over someone like him but you're my daughter. No father wants to see their kid miserable."
"Some father you are." Sam was determined not to give him an inch. "I had so many dreams about meeting you... Introducing you to my son, being a proud daughter. And you shattered every illusion I had. And here you are, making everything worse."
"I'll go then." As he turned away, she saw the look in his eyes. He was an expert faker – took one to know one, after all – but he looked, if not devastated, then sad that he had blown chance after chance to know her - his eldest child, born by his beloved Alexis.
As if by its own volition, Sam's hand jutted out to grab him by the sleeve of his jacket. "Look, I asked you to be honest with me so… Maybe I can try being honest with you. I didn't love Silas. He was just another means to self-destruct. Another way to forget… I feel so guilty for not loving him because he pretty much died for me."
A tear worked its way down her face and Julian dared to wipe it away. "It's okay to feel the way you do." His voice was low. She knew that he was no longer talking about Silas. He was telling her that he was okay with her hating him. He was learning to accept it.
But Sam realized then that she no longer wanted to hate him. She wanted to know him – the man who had helped give her life; cherished her mother; saved her son, and had her eyes…