Starfire was pissed, and as usual, it was Robin's fault. It had been three weeks since he had admitted to Cyborg he was going to ask Starfire out, but so far, nothing had happened. Then last night, Robin made a point of pairing them up for an evening of patrol together, the perfect time to spring a romantic surprise date or just ask her out without anyone else there to interfere or witness a rejection (yeah right, like that would happen). Five minutes into the patrol, Robin thought he saw Johnny Rancid, and of course that meant the entire Titans team ended up patrolling the entire city for the rest of the night. Robin even decided they should all search independently, to cover more ground.
Starfire was looking for blood, and she had just the idea how to draw it.
"Friend Beast Boy, I require your assistance…"
The next afternoon, Robin, Cyborg, and Raven met up outside the gym for sparring practice.
"All right, anybody seen B or Star?" Cyborg asked.
"Not me," Robin sounded concerned. "I already double-checked their rooms."
Raven closed her eyes and expanded her empathy. "They're inside," she nodded to the training room. The three made their way through the door…
…To stand slack jawed at the sight of their two teammates locked deep in a tongue-wrestling match.
"Beast Boy!" Robin called out, drawing his bo staff.
Starfire broke off the kiss, lighting up at her friend's arrival. "hujambo rafiki, ni si mtukufu zaidi? Friend Beast Boy has taught me the language of Swahili!"
Cyborg breathed a sigh of relief, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. "Oh, hehe, that's what ya'll were doing. Gotcha, Swahili, that's cool…" Cyborg subtly shifted his foot onto the back of Robin's cape, just in case their leader decided to take a swing at the poor changeling.
Cyborg also noticed that the 3-thousand-pound weights he used for lifting were floating on the far side of the room. What's up with Raven?... he wondered. Must just be the shock.
"Well," Robin's voice was terse. "If you two are QUITE finished, we're already late for sparring practice."
Beast Boay and Starfire only nodded, Star heading toward Cyborg, her customary opponent, and Carfield moving to partner with Raven.
"Not today," Robin cut them off. "Star, you work with Raven, powers allowed, but no projectiles. Practice incapacitations and restraints. Beast Boy, you work martial arts with me." His eyes narrowed.
Cyborg could see the shapeshifter was nervous, but trying not to show it. "Rob, maybe I oughta…"
"You be referee, Cyborg." Robin left no room to question him. "Two minute rounds, best of three, no powers or weapons for us."
"Uh… Okay…" Cyborg acquiesced, resolving to step in if things got out of hand.
"Robin," Raven called from across the room. "Starfire and I are going to spar on the rooftop." If we're going to use powers, this isn't the safest room to be in, especially with you three in here."
"Fine." Raven phased the girls to the roof.
When Raven and Starfire emerged, Raven put a hand to her head. "Star, do you mind if we sit this round? We both know my powers don't match Tameranean strength, and I'm not feeling so good."
"Are you all right, friend Raven?"
"I will be, just a lot of negative emotion built up really quick in there…"
"Oh yes, I had expected friend Robin to become upset, but I may have undered my estimation a bit."
"You think?" Raven deadpanned. "He nearly blew a blood vessel. What were you trying to do, give him a heart attack?"
"I only intended to inspire the jealousy…" Starfire seemed a little upset at how petty that sounded… "Do you think I was wrong?"
"No, Star, it was entirely called for." A beach ball from the rooftop pool exploded behind them. "And as an empathy, I can tell you it worked."
Starfire perked up at that. "Oh, that is most glorious! He will surely do the 'asking me up' soon!"
"Out, Star. It's asking you out." Raven sighed. "But yes, for all our sakes, I hope so."
Just then the girls' communicators chirped.
Raven answered. "Yo, Raven," Cyborg said, "B dropped his guard and Rob got a nasty hit to the head on him. I already checked and there's no concussion, but he could definitely use your healing touch, he can't even see straight."
"I'll be right there." Raven put the communicator away. "One last question, Star."
"Yes, friend Raven?"
"Was it really necessary to grab his… ahem… derriere when you made out with him?"
Starfire somehow managed to look shy, bashful, wily, and knowing all with the same grin as she looked her teammate in the eye. "Not necessary, maybe," she admitted. "But most enjoyable."
Raven's eye's went wide.
"After all," Starfire's voice picked up a sly edge. "Don't you think friend Beast Boy has most excellent hindquarters?"
Something big exploded out of view, and Raven phased to the weight room.
Beast Boy was groggy, but came to once Raven started working with her blue glow.
"Ugh," he moaned, "my hero."
"Stay still," Raven commanded. Ten seconds of silence stretched by, before Raven caved. "What were you thinking when you agreed to make the best martial artist this side of Gotham mad at you?"
Beast Boy chuckled. "Star needed help, said this gave her 'the deniability that is most plausible,' since I spoke Swahili," Raven rolled her eyes at his imitation of Starefire. "And besides, it's not like anybody's exactly lining up to kiss me, you know?"
Something heavy thudded to the gym floor behind him, but when he turned to look Raven caught his head. When had she put her hood up? It might have been the head blow, but Beast Boy could have sworn it was down at the start of their conversation.
"Anyway," he continued, "Rob will get the memo, ask her out, and ten years from now we'll all have a good laugh about this."
"Right," Raven mused, mind elsewhere. "I'm done, you might feel a little dizzy when you transform for a few minutes, so try not to shift, but you should be good to go."
"Thanks Rae, you the best."
If it hadn't have been for his animal-enhanced hearing, he might have missed her response completely. He'd be expecting "It's RaVEN," but he could have sworn he heard "You're welcome, Garfield." He shrugged. Stupid headshots, they always made him a little loopy.
Raven was on her way to her room when she was literally tackled by her alien best friend. She was so distracted she didn't notice the sobbing until they were both in Starfire's room, and the crying girl had barricaded the door with her dresser.
"Star, what's wrong?"
"It didn't work!" The alien cried in anger. "After you left, Robin came up to the roof with bruises on his hand. I offered to take him to the infirmary, but he began yelling at me about 'appropriate teammate interactions" and "displays of public affection," and now he'll never ask me to do the dating with him!" The normally cheerful girl broke down in massive sobs.
Raven was at a loss for words, picturing the ramifications of Robin's new anti-team-dating policy she could easily see him enacting if not deterred from this response. She didn't know what to say, that is, until the worst of ideas came to mind… maybe, we can kill two birds with one stone, she mused. "Star, Robin's just acting out of anger and jealousy, though if he channel's it this way, it could be a problem" she conceded. "I have an idea, if you're up for it…"
Cyborg had requested Robin and Beast Boy help him update some of the obstacle course in the yard Saturday, his tried-and-true method of mending fences when teammates had an argument. His philosophy was that building stuff together built people together, and it hadn't let him down yet. This was how the three boys found themselves entering the common room together to a sight that left two with nosebleeds on the floor, and one stuck in a software freeze.
"Friends is this not most Glorious? I can now speak Latin, Sumerian, and the language of Azerath!"
Needless to say, both Robin and Beast Boy wised up, and a week later Cyborg was the only person in the tower without a date for Friday night.
A/N: Hey everyone, if you liked this, please check out my two in-progress multi-chapter stories, Raven's Howl and The Slade Contract. All very different stories, but each inspired by a cool Twisted Premise (See what I did there?) Anyway, I thrive on reviews, so let me know what you liked, didn't like, or think could be improved. Personally, I disliked how shallow Robin was for this story, normally I try and flesh everyone out a bit more, but this was a quick write. Keep reading, FanFic'ers, and let me know which story you like best!