Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: The speed with which those pleased expressions were replaced with abject horror was remarkable.

A/N: This oneshot is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe and was requested by WillowDryad. Enjoy!

Of Bridezillas and Eye Candy


"Kat!" Lucy giggled as I walked into the rather crowded solarium. "You're late!"

"I had to get away from Tuulea," I shrugged then met Oreius' gaze from where he was standing in the corner. "You're in trouble with her too, Kentauri."

The chagrined looks of the Four and Thalia made it clear that we were still in trouble with them too for concealing our courtship for the last eight months. However, I was pleasantly surprised when Susan and Lucy didn't say anything. Instead, Thalia cleared her throat. "We have been wondering if you would enlighten us concerning a title you used, your highness." She hesitated, struggling with the word, I think, then asked, "What is a 'bridezilla?' I asked King Peter and Queen Susan as well and they did not know either."

I paused, looking around the room at the Four, Thalia, Oreius, Caia, and several other guards, including the Tigers and Wolves. "Well, a bridezilla is a bride who has become so caught up and worried about how her wedding goes that she wants every little detail to be perfect and can at times be a regular tyrant and make unreasonable demands where the slightest detail that is off sends her into a temperamental fit."

The Narnians exchanged looks and Susan, in particular, looked less than thrilled. Probably because her efficiency came perilously close to weddingzilla at times, but she meant well. Then Thalia broke the silence. "Why would any woman do that? When things do not work as planned, they are either amended or plans are adapted."

And there's the Narnian straightforwardness I so enjoyed. I also didn't have a good explanation. "Well, it's just some brides who react like that…usually the ones who are spoilt brats. That's why I said Peter was fortunate that you certainly weren't a bridezilla." Everyone was looking pleased now; even Oreius seemed to approve of my explanation. Smiling, I added, "And, you are fortunate because Peter can be eye candy."

The speed with which those pleased expressions were replaced with abject horror was remarkable. I glanced around and even Oreius was looking uneasy. He was the one to break the silence this time. "Confections made out of eyes?"

Oh sweet Lion. "No!" Waving my hands, I shook my head. "No, no, no, that's not what eye candy means, I promise." I glanced at the Four but considering how pale Susan was and how nervous Peter looked…they had no idea what I was talking about either. Well, drats. I cleared my throat. "Ahem. Eye candy is just a term meaning that someone is pleasing to the eyes. Attractive. Definitely not candy made from people's eyes, that would be disgusting."

Peter looked at me then said slowly, "I do not believe I'd like to be referred to as eye candy…"

I had nothing to say. Actually, I was afraid to say anything. I glanced at Oreius and he had a very weird look on his face. Maybe he was regretting that they all knew we were courting. Covering my face with my hands, I could only think one thing: I have got to stop using slang. Everyone thinks I have cannibalistic tendencies.


A/N: Please Read and Review! Poor Kat, the slang always gets her in trouble somehow. Leave a review and let me know what y'all thought about this one.