A bit of Bella and Alice in the cab home from the restaurant first, then back to Merrie England with Edward.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters - I've just borrowed them from SM to have fun with - enjoy xx

CHAPTER SEVEN: Confessions, Castles and Confrontations

Alice stared open mouthed at Bella as she related what happened in the ladies room, and then the frank discussion with Edward at the table. They were in a cab, stuck in the late-evening West End traffic, on their way back from the restaurant. The cab was dropping Bella off at her hotel first then would take Alice on to her apartment in Kensington. They had planned to go to a club after dinner, but Bella was tired, and Alice seemed very keen to get home.

"You mean you told him you had feelings for him, even though you think he's an arsehole?"

"Well yes, I suppose I did," Bella giggled. She loved how Alice said 'arse' instead of ass.

"Why? I mean, why bother saying anything if you had no intention of seeing him again?"

"I honestly don't know what came over me. I'm sometimes too honest for my own good."

"So you really do feel there is something there?"

Bella hesitated before replying. She had told Alice about the showdown on the plane, but hadn't given her all the details as they had really only just met. That wasn't the sort of thing you discussed with new acquaintances. Now, she thought 'what the hell', as she trusted Alice to give her good advice, and all her other confidants were five thousand miles away on the other side of the Atlantic.

"You remember I told you that Edward physically prevented me from calling the steward on the plane?"

"Yes...go on."

"Well, when he grabbed my hand, it was...like lightning shooting up my arm, and then...oh rats; I can't describe this very well. It was just the most amazing feeling; like the best orgasm you've ever had, multiplied by a thousand; but just for a split second."

They felt the cab swerve a bit in the road and noticed that the driver's shoulders were shaking. Bella went bright red.

She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I know he felt it too, but it was a crazy situation. We were arguing and then I threw a drink over him and called him an ignorant bastard, when all I wanted to do was jump him."

"So what did it feel like when he kissed you tonight."

Bella thought about her answer for a few seconds and Alice could see tears misting over her eyes.

"It was heavenly, Alice. The moment our lips touched, I just felt he'd become part of me. I felt so comfortable in his arms. When he pulled me tight against him, it was like we were two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle joining together. I didn't want the kiss to end."

"So why the hell are you in this cab, going in the opposite direction to his hotel for heaven's sake? This might be your 'once in a lifetime' moment? Don't walk away from this; you might regret it for the rest of your days."

"I know, I know; but I'm so committed for the next three months. I can't get involved with anyone. I've got six weeks at The National, then six weeks in Stratford. This is huge for me; it's what I've been working towards all my life. England is the home of Shakespeare, and if I want to be considered as one of the great Shakespearean actors in the future, and be invited to play all the famous roles on stages around the world, I've got to give these next few months my full attention, with no distractions. I can't afford to fail."

"Are you absolutely sure you're doing the right thing?"

"Yes, otherwise I'd be banging on the door of his suite at The Savoy, right now."

"Alright, Bella, I understand where you're coming from, but don't discount him for the future. He's not going to disappear off the face of the earth, and chances are he might still be keen when you go back to the States."

"Maybe, maybe not; it's a chance I've got to take. Anyway, Miss Brandon, you're giving me all this advice, but you're sitting here in this cab, which is taking you in the opposite direction from Jasper. Why aren't you practicing what you preach and banging on his door at The Savoy right now?"

"Why do you think I took his number, Miss Swan? I promised to text him as soon as I dropped you off and then he's coming over. I assure you, we won't be playing Monopoly tonight!"

The cab drew up at the hotel and Bella reached in her bag to pay the smirking driver, but Alice told her to put her money away as she was on business expenses.

"Not too late to change your mind, Bella; you could still go back there tonight."

"No, I'm not changing my mind, Alice," she said in a voice loud enough for the driver to hear.

"Anyway, it's the wrong time of the month, and there's nothing worse than being desperate for a good fuck when Aunt Flo is visiting. Have a good night, Alice, and say 'Hi' to Jasper for me."

With that, she blew both Alice and the driver a kiss, and disappeared into the hotel.

Okay. Obviously I'm 'The Boss' here; not in a Bruce Springsteen-y way though; as everyone is calling me 'My Lord', which is actually quite cool. If there's a fair maiden that needs rescuing in the castle they're all talking about, this might be quite enjoyable. Let's hope this time she's very 'fair', and when I rescue her she is very, very grateful."

"My Lord, one of our spies has come back with a message. Can he approach you?"

"Of course; send him to me while I dismount."

"Yep, I thought so; it's a white horse.

So I'm a Knight,

rescuing a fair maiden,

from a castle,

on a white horse.

Paleeeeease! Can't we be a bit more inventive than that? Ouch, this armor is bloody uncomfortable, especially around my balls. Jesus, how did they walk around like this?"

"My Lord, the castle is protected on all sides by the Black Prince's guard, but we captured two and replaced them with your men. They will allow us to pass under cover of night, if you so wish."

"Yes young squire -"

"Squire, what's a fucking squire. This lad only looks about twelve."

" - we will wait until dark and you will lead us to the break in their defenses. You have done well."

"Thank you, my Lord; I would gladly lay down my life for you and your Lady."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Send my knights to me and prepare for battle. We have a long night ahead of us."

"Now, let's think; whose fantasy is this? Let me guess.

Jessica? Possibly; she almost had her tongue hanging out when she was looking at me.

Bella? No, she would dream up something a whole lot better than a Knight on a White Charger; her dreams would probably have a Shakespearean theme. I'd be Romeo rescuing her from her balcony. They did have at least one shag in that play, didn't they?

Emily? Probably not; she only had eyes for her husband tonight.

Alice? Not likely; she's obviously fixated on Jasper, but anyway I'm sure her fantasies would have me dressed up like Gandalf, or some other wizard.

What about Angela? Nah! Too intelligent; I can't see her fantasizing like this. She would imagine being rescued by Mr. Darcy. Mind you, she did call Jasper and me her "Knights in Shining Armor" tonight. Shit! Oh well, I'm sure I'm going to find out soon enough. Right, this tent is getting a bit crowded now; are all these guys my Knights? So where's the round table then?"

"Faithful Knights, we know we have a dangerous mission this night, and some of us may die, but we have no option but to avenge the outrageous kidnap of my Lady that took place on the eve of our marriage. My father will not cede our lands in return for her safety, so we must fight for our honor, and the Black Prince must not live through this night. I have promised this to my father, your King."

"Good, that speech went down pretty well. Lots of cheering and banging of swords on shields, so it looks like they're ready for a bit of action. Henry the Fifth would be quite envious of my repartee!"

"Let's drink together, and pray to God that He is watching over us. Fare well my faithful Knights."

"Right, what's happening here? Looks like we've jumped forward a bit in time. We're creeping through the forest and there's a huge castle in front of us. Luckily, some of my more eager Knights are ahead of me, so they can do any attacking if needs be and I'll just rush through and grab the girl and get all the credit. Shit! What was that; a fucking arrow just bounced off my iron waistcoat. We've obviously just been rumbled."

"Keep down My Lord; we are almost at the entrance to the turret -"

"Yep, she had to be in a turret; not a room or a great hall, but a turret. Let's just check to see if her hair isn't dangling down to the ground before we go inside, which will save us a lot of agro!"

" - quick, our man is inside the door. Run and we will cover you with our shields."

"Do these stairs lead to where my Lady is being held prisoner?"

"Yes, My Lord; there are guards outside the door and they know we are coming."

"They will be meeting our Lord in Heaven very soon if they put up a fight and stop me claiming what's mine. Who is coming with me to defend my Lady's honor and return her to our people?"

"God, this is so corny. I can't wait to know who dreamed up this shit."

"I'm with you."

"As am I"

"We will fight to the death."

"Okay, you guys can go in front then and I'll come up behind. Oh bugger; looks like I really want to be the hero; slow down Edward, you don't want to be out of breath when you get there."

"My Lord, let me go first. I am your finest swordsman and my blade will strike fear in their hearts when they see me wield it."

"If you will, Sir Geoffrey, but we will fight or fall together and you shall forever be my brother, in this life and the next."

"Just get on with it. 'My Lady' has obviously been a prisoner for several days; I'm sure she won't appreciate you guys wasting time with all this heroic chit chat. Where's Bruce Willis when you need him."

"Forward, for our Lady's honor - attack!"

"Jesus, this is pretty intense. Looks like Geoffrey's had it; that blade has made quite a dent in his neck. Oh shit, that big guy has his sights on me, and he's coming towards me with a fucking big sword in the air. Ha! Well done Charles; looks like big guy's going to have to book himself in for a knee replacement, and - no, not worth it, big guy's dead. Thank you, Charles, I owe you. Now, where are the rest of the guards; I wouldn't mind spearing one of them at least."

"My Lord, the guards are either dead or have run off like cowards. Here are the keys to the room in the top of the turret. We will guard the entrance below, and help you and your Lady make your escape."

"Thank you, Sir Charles. Ensure Sir Geoffrey's body is returned to his family and not left for these dogs to dishonor."

"Okay, now for the good bit. Just a few more steps and all will be revealed. Hello, the door is already open; what's going on here? Jesus, that guy is manhandling 'My Lady', but it looks like she's putting up a fight at least."

"Unhand her you blackheart, I will fight you man to man. Draw your sword and we will finish this now."

"Obviously this is the Black Prince, because this dude is all dressed in black. He's got really blonde hair though. Oh oh, he's turning to face me. Fuck me, it's Draco Malfoy!"

"Ah, Edward; you've ruined my little game I see, but I'll be the victor in the end. Your father stole our lands and possessions, and I promised my father on his death bed that I would avenge him and take everything you own in return. Now one of us will meet our maker tonight, so be prepared to die - ha ha ha!"

"Oh give this guy a break; he had shit lines in Harry Potter. At least give him some decent stuff to work with now."

"My father is an honorable King who cares for his lands and people, unlike your father, King Lucius, who was a tyrant. Draw your sword Draco, or I will spear you like a boar in the forest."

"You haven't a chance against me, Edward. The witches prophesized that I would never die by a man's hand; so say your prayers while you have a chance."

"Oh shit, it's time to wake up now, Edward. I'll forego the grateful shag that I was planning on getting; just get me out of here fast."

"My Lady – Don't do it!"

"Take that, you white-faced wimp! Your witches might have foreseen you not being killed by a man; pity they didn't warn you about avenging Princesses. Now, you can die in this freezing tower on your own, while I go off to marry a real man, and not one that can't get it up when necessary."

"Aaargh, I'm done for. You use my own knife against me. I curse you both for eternity."

"My Lady, my Princess, my Jessica! I thought - I thought he had had his evil way with you."

"Fuck! It is Jessica's fantasy; I should have guessed. I bet her literary choices are limited to Mills and Boon and Harry Potter. Mind you, she's pretty handy with that knife. Go Jessica! Shit, this isn't good. I'll never be able to look Mike in the eye again if I have to shag her."

"I'm still pure my love, my Edward. He wanted what is yours, but I fought him off. Your wife will be a virgin on our wedding night."

"Yep, definitely Mills and Boon."

"Jessica, let us find a priest while we are travelling back to our lands. I cannot wait any longer for you; your beauty overwhelms me."

"Oh yes, My Lord, but we must leave this place quickly; we are still in danger from the Black Prince's men. Take me home, Edward."

"Looks like we've shot forward in time again. Jessica and I are kneeling in front of a priest with Charles standing behind me beaming from ear to ear. Oh oh, I'm married, so wedding night sex is the next thing on the agenda. Well, it could be worse; at least she's a virgin, so I won't have to soak my dick in disinfectant afterwards. Hmm, looks like a party has been arranged in the forest, but Jessica is dragging me back to a tent set apart from all the others. I wonder why? As if I couldn't guess!"

"Husband, this is where we'll spend our Wedding Night. It is so romantic, don't you think?"

"Wedding Night? I'm more inclined to have a Wedding Afternoon! Come here you saucy wench."

"'Saucy wench!' Where the hell did that come from?"

"Edward, take me now; I want to be yours, completely."

"Come here wife; let me bury my face in your luscious breasts, while I remove your under-garments."

"Oh, Edward, you make me feel so wanton."

"Jesus! How many layers of clothing has she got on? No wonder Malfoy didn't get his dick in her. I'll be here for hours trying to work my way through this lot. Ah! Got it; just one tug here, and it all falls away. She actually has got nice tits, which is a bonus. So, here it comes, Jessica; just lie back and think of England."

"Edward, you are so HUGE! My mother warned me that it would hurt - ahahahoooooooh!"

"That's great work, Jessica; you're massaging my ego as well as my dick, but let's make this a quick one, shall we?"

"Does this feel good Jessica, feeling my manhood thrusting inside you? I'm going to plant my seed in you now, so your belly can grow with our child. We must go to Church tomorrow and pray for a son."

"Not exactly what I would say to a woman while in the throes of passion, but each to their own. I suppose this Edward has his own idea of 'sexy talk'. Mine is usually 'come for me, baby', not 'let's have a baby.' That's dick-shrivelling words for a guy!"

"You are so beautiful, Jessica; I promise to make love to you every day of our lives. Let's rest now and then we can join the party and dance until dawn rises."

"Okay, that wasn't so bad. I could do with a bit of shut-eye now, but why can I hear Bruce Springsteen singing 'Born in the USA'? That sounds like the ring tone on my cell!

Shit, that is my cell. Fuck, fuck, fuck, not again!"

Edward swung his arm onto the nightstand, grabbed his cell and shoved it under the pillow. After a few more seconds of 'Born in the USA', voicemail kicked in and the room was silent again. Edward sighed and closed his eyes to try and get some more sleep.

He tried to switch off but the sensations he had experienced in the dream were still so clear in his head. The smell of the leather saddle; the texture of the rough hair of the horse beneath him; the taste of food and drink that were strange to his palate; the weight of the sword in his hand and the sound of men dying; then the sex with Jessica. It was just too vivid for a normal dream.

He opened one eye and looked around him. His room was as he left it and he could just see from his bed that the chair he wedged up against the outside door was still in position. He had been on his own in the room all night; so once again his mind had been playing tricks on him.

He needed to use the bathroom, so he swung his legs out of the bed and went to stand up, but the muscles on the inside of his legs were really sore and so were his ass cheeks; he couldn't understand why. He staggered into the bathroom to relieve himself and when he was finished, he threw himself back down on the bed again and closed his eyes.

About an hour later, 'The Boss' was warbling his patriotic song again and this time Edward answered it with a grunt; it was Jasper.

"So, who did you dream about last night then?"

"None of your fucking business."

"Have you had a good rest though?"


"What do you want to do this morning? The radio station was fine about the cancellation. I said you would call them later and do it over the phone, so you have a few free hours."

"Can you book me a massage? My legs are killing me for some reason."

"Okay. Do you want the masseur to come to you, or do you want to go down to the Spa?"

"Here, Jasper."

"Alright, I'll sort it. I'll see you later."

About an hour later, there was a soft knock on the door and Edward had to get out of bed to move the chair out of the way. He presumed it was housekeeping, so he opened the door expecting to see one of the maids, but instead there was a young man standing there with towels, lotions and a big smile.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen. My name is Roger and I'm the masseur from the Spa."

"Oh yeah, right, come in. Just give me a few minutes will you."

Edward disappeared into the bathroom and had a quick shower. He came out wrapped in a towel, just as Roger was finishing setting up a massage table that had appeared from nowhere. Roger had also drawn the blinds and lit a few aromatic candles, placing them strategically around the room. Edward was a bit suspicious of Roger's motives but he honestly wasn't in the mood to either question them or care, so he laid himself face down on the table and relaxed, while Roger rubbed some lotion into his hands.

"Well, let's see, where does it hurt Mr. Cullen? What areas would you like me to concentrate on?"

"My legs are aching for some reason, you could start with those."

Roger started massaging Edward's cramped muscles and every now and again, Edward winced when Roger hit a sensitive spot.

"Oh, you are very tense in certain areas, aren't you Mr. Cullen. Let me guess, hmmmmm.

Have you been riding a horse lately by any chance?"


Yes I know; you guessed he was saddle-sore! A bit obvious, wasn't it? I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Edward's exploits gave you a laugh or two.

Hands up who would like to be in Roger's position now - giving Edward an all-over massage? Is it one of your Dreams and Fantasies? (Reaching for the smelling salts and a cold flannel).

Thanks again for all the reviews - it is great getting feedback, and also hearing from readers who reviewed my previous two stories; it's lovely to hear from you again xx

Joan xx