To: Jane

From: Nat

Greg has a broken nose, a concussion, cracked ribs, and needs stitches in his face all courtesy of Darcy. He also needs a lot more therapy than any one person can give him.


To: Jane

From: Nat

And after we got there, Steve knocked him out (so there's also probably head trama) and hasn't let go of Darcy, who had a baseball bat and certainly knew how to use it.


To: Nat

From: Jane

oh thank god. is she okay?! is she hurt?!


To: Jane

From: Nat

Yeah, Steve's got her. Bruised knuckles from a well-landed punch, and a cut above her eye, but she's okay. Thor might have maybe struck Greg with some lightning though. I was too busy stopping Clint from putting an arrow in his eye and couldn't stop him. Don't think Stark wanted to.


To: Nat

From: Jane

i don't give a rat's ass how hurt greg is. fuck greg the goddamn psycho. he shows up again and I'LL kill him


To: Jane

From: Nat

You'd have to get in line. Oh, gee, what do you know, the place is a mess and I accidentally tripped and my steel toed boot landed right in his cracked ribs. Oops.


To: Darcy

From: Jane

thank god you're okay oh thank god


To: Jane

From: Darcy

I am totally a-okay. The Avengers came to rescue me from my stalker and I'd already kicked his ass. I rule! I also have a completely full voicemail.


To: Jane

From: Darcy

Also Steve has decided he's not leaving my side until I get the all clear from the EMTs. I am totally okay with this as I'm shaking now. Sure it's all over, everything's okay, MELTDOWN TIME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Let's just sob all over my boyfriend and in front of everyone I work with. That's not embarrassing at all.


To: Stark

From: Jane

darcy is going home with steve and not coming into work for a few days. don't fight me on this


To: Jane

From: Stark

think we can convince her 2 take a week vacation?


To: Stark

From: Jane

if you can convince steve probably


To: The Cap

From: Stark

u and darcy, one week, go anywhere on me, have a good time and dont let her come into work for at least 1 week minimum


To: Stark

From: Steve

Will do.


To: Jane

From: Darcy

So apparently I'm going on vacation. I WONDER WHOSE IDEA THAT WAS


To: Darcy

From: Jane

you are NOT coming into work for at least a week. possibly longer. you need a break.


To: Jane

From: Darcy

Said the pot to the kettle. I'm not complaining about a paid for vacation with my man, but it's kind of sudden don't you think? Shouldn't I at least pack and know where I'm going?


To: Darcy

From: Natasha

I'll go get whatever you need from your apartment. Stark's talking about getting you a new fancy lock. And possibly buying your building. I'm not stopping him on this.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

How many overprotective people am I going to have following me around now? Like, a rough estimate. If I go see Katie for xmas I'll need to warn her about all the strange people that might show up later. I mean, duh, you'll be going of course but how many others do you think? Also do you think she'll know that you guys are, ya know, THE AVENGERS?


To: Darcy

From: Steve

Probably everyone. We almost lost you.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

I'm okay! I promise! No one almost lost me, once Greg put the gun down I totally kicked his ass! Meltdown aside, I think I handled that very well. For sure asshat's never doing that again. God that was freaky. He kept yammering away about how things were and how they'd be better this time. Psycho. I probably shouldn't have hit him in the head with the bat. The last thing he needs is more brain damage. Uh, can you hurry back? Thor is glaring at the EMT people and demanding my release.


To: Darcy

From: Steve

I almost lost you. I couldn't find you. I knew he had you and I couldn't find you. I was terrified. Don't you ever do that to me again. Promise me. Please God promise me that.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

Only if you promise me. You're Captain America and I know all the danger you put yourself in all the time, and I worry. I always have about you guys and I always will. And I would never EVER ask you to stop because I know you and this is what you do. It's what you want to do and it's what you're meant to do. So I'll be the superhero's girlfriend if promise me you'll never scare the living shit out of me either.


To: Darcy

From: Steve

What did I ever do to possibly deserve you?

I promise. I'll always come back to you Darcy.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

Okay then. I promise too. Now let's head to my apartment so I can grab whatever Nat packed for me and hopefully talk Stark out of reinforcing my front door with steel or something.


To: Darcy

From: Steve

Actually, let's let him do that.


To: Stark

From: Natasha

Out of the apartment. Now. Here they come and they look like the need to talk


To: Natasha

From: Tony

or bang


To: Stark

From: Natasha

OUT


To: Darcy

From: Jane

day one of vacation. how's it going?


To: Darcy

From: Jane

day two of vacation. hope you're having a great time! we all miss you around here


To: Darcy

From: Jane

intern mark just tripped again but this time he spilled plasma everywhere and it took us all of yesterday and most of today to clean it up. wish i'd gone with you now.


To: Jane

From: Darcy

I am on vacation. Do not text me so early. I will bite you.


To: Darcy

From: Jane

oh please. i know you and steve went on that cruise to the bahamas. it's what two pm where you are?


To: Jane

From: Darcy

We were up late.


To: Darcy

From: Jane

i see


To: Jane

From: Darcy

You know. Busy. Doing things.


To: Darcy

From: Jane

uh huh


To: Jane

From: Darcy

And by things I mean each other.


To: Darcy

From: Jane

yeah i actually got that. moving on now


To: Jane

From: Darcy

He has a huuuuuge


To: Darcy

From: Jane

DARCY I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT


To: Jane

From: Darcy

mole on his thigh. What did you think I was gonna say? Mind out of the gutter, Jane Foster. You've been around Stark too much ;) Besides, this is payback for all the dirty details you let slip about Thor. Things, I might add, that I never wanted to know about someone who is essentially my bro. You grossed me out. Now I get to do the same. SUCK IT.


To: Darcy

From: Jane

i can't believe i missed you.


To: The Cap

From: Tony

how's the cruise? have u guys actually left ur room?


To: Stark

From: Steve

As much as I appreciate the vacation, and thank you for it because Darcy and I both needed it, I have something else to say: Go. Away.


To: The Cap

From: Tony

well that answers that. then again if i was on a ship thousands of miles away from ppl with a woman i wouldn't leave my room either


To: Stark

From: Darcy

Picture Message

Proof we've left the room. Now shut up and go talk wedding details with your fiance or I'll tell her, Jane, AND Nat that you're bothering us.


To: Darcy

From: Stark

im glad ur ok. c u when you get back :)


To: Pepper

From: Darcy

You're willingly marrying that man.


To: Darcy

From: Pepper

Yes, yes, I know. Please don't remind me of my faults. I'm too busy climbing out of the mountain of flowers that might go in the bouquets. I'm far too swamped to have a crisis right now. Enjoy your vacation. When you get back I'm stuffing you in a bridesmaid dress.


To: Nat

From: Jane

betcha twenty bucks steve comes back walking funny


To: Jane

From: Nat

You're on.


To: Jane, Natasha

From: Pepper

Fifty on a hickey.


To: Nat

From: Jane

how does she DO that?!


To: Jane

From: Nat

I've stopped questioning these things. Seventy five on the hickey.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

Never judge a book by it's cover, or who you gonna love by your lover. Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise. She had the body of a venus, lord imagine my surprise!


To: Darcy

From: Steve

Really Darcy?! I leave you alone for five minutes to get a movie for tonight and you start texting me that of all things?


To: Steve

From: Darcy

They're playing it on deck! I nearly fell over laughing and thought I would share. You know it's your fav Aerosmith song.


To: Darcy

From: Steve

Just for that I'm returning The Princess Bride and we're watching Wizard of Oz again.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

DON'T YOU DARE RETURN THE PRINCESS BRIDE WE ARE WATCHING THAT IT IS OUR MOVIE


To: Darcy

From: Steve

Then I'll just steal all of your pillows tonight. Behave, Miss Lewis. I know your weaknesses.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

Picture Message

And I know yours ;)


To: Darcy

From: Steve

...

Movie time?


To: Steve

From: Darcy

I'll bring the popcorn! :D


To: Darcy

From: Steve

Darcy?


To: Steve

From: Darcy

Yes dear?


To: Darcy

From: Steve

You've captured my love, stolen my heart, changed my life. Every time you make a move, you destroy my mind, and the way you touch, I lose control and shiver deep inside. You take my breath away.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

GOD DAMMIT YOU SERENADED ME WITH QUEEN. You wonderful, beautiful, sneaky son of a bitch.


To: Darcy

From: Steve

I have a few tricks up my sleeve ;)


To: Steve

From: Darcy

Then get up here, soldier, and show me the rest. I'm all yours :)


To: Darcy

From: Steve

Yes ma'am.


To: Steve

From: Darcy

Also I have to give you a hickey. For science.


To: Darcy

From: Steve

I'm probably much happier not knowing the reasoning behind that, aren't I?