'Japanese' - Anything Italicized and in quotes.
Scowling at the feeling of being held akin to Simba in the Lion King, she couldn't help but think this entire situation was either a shroom dream - not that she'd ever done drugs before - or a product of karma - which wouldn't make any sense since she could swear up and down that she had done nothing so bad as to warrant this!
Staring into the storm cloud eyes of one Urahara Kisuke, the recently dubbed "Shimei" knew better than to assume this was a second chance.
After all, who sends someone to a death trap, battle crazed universe such as Bleach and expects them to be grateful about it?
Shimei didn't know if staying dead was the lesser of two evils anymore.
Don't get her wrong, when she first came to consciousness, alive albeit and in the form of an infant, she had burst into tears. Whether from the shock, relief, or uncontrollable baby instincts, she had sobbed and gratefully huddled into the arms that offered her comfort.
If she had been in another situation she would have balked at the thought of a stranger offering her a shoulder to cry on. But seeing as how she didn't exactly have a choice in the matter her miniature, needy body immediately latched onto the nearest source of heat which just so happened to be this guy.
Unexpectedly - because she knew next to nothing about infant cycles - Shimei fell into a void state. It was almost what she assumed an acid trip felt like. Yanno, with all the vision warping, extreme sensitivity to everything, and waking up hungry while simultaneously not knowing where in the hell she was. But hey, she would never truly know until she took acid.
The beginning of her new life was most likely gross and strange considering she used the bathroom on herself constantly, and needed to be bathed by strangers. Shimei thanked every god she knew for the blessing of obliviousness to such embarrassment.
Now the first time she noticed something decidedly weird was when she finally entered a state of functioning lucidity and she felt something was flickering over her senses. The something made her nose itch, her hair stand on end, and her skin shiver. For a long while, she laid there in her crib, attempting to figure out this feeling when the spark in her nose took off and she sneezed. Hard.
The sound threw itself across the room, rocking her tiny body and she would deny what happened next until her (re)death.
Shimei, the seventeen year old in the baby's body, burst into terrified wails. Yes, her body reacted to the loud noise in the way that most children do. By screaming until someone came to investigate, and came he did.
With the slamming open of a tatami door, a man ran in and scooped her up out of her bed.
It took a good few minutes of back patting for Shimei to stifle the crying to sniffling when the man finally spoke.
"Uwa~! Scare me half to death Shimei." He sighed with a shake of his head."I only left for a minute and you start a ruckus!"
Three things went through her head after listening to him speak.
One: He had a really nice voice. Seriously, it was on the same level as Morgan Freeman's and that was saying something.
Two: Why in the hell did he look super duper European - except for the slant in his eyes - but used Japanese?
And three: This guy looked eerily familiar.
Like, she'd seen this guy before familiar.
Furrowing her brow, she took in the messy, in need of a good brushing blond hair, chin covered in stubble, green yukata wearing man and stuck out her lip in concentration. Ignoring his cry of "Oya oya, aren't you just so cute?" and stroked her proverbial chin.
There was something missing from him and she, for the life of her, couldn't figure it out. Shimei knew it was weird to think that considering she had just met the guy, but she just couldn't shake the idea that he needed something to be complete.
"Look at that little pout you have going on," He chuckled as a tiny grin formed on his face but she paid him so mind. "so adorable."
Glasses? No, that would make him seem like a hipster. A scarf then?
...Nah, he wasn't Mikasa.
"Actually now that I think about it that seems to be a look of concentration."
Piercings? Bracelets? A different hairstyle maybe? Cocking her head to the side she furrowed her brow.
Hm, no, no, and no. None of those rang a bell.
"I wonder if that's what I look like?"
She didn't think it was something one had to go through trouble to apply. So what in the world was it?
A jacket? Gloves? No, he didn't seem the type.
Then maybe a hat?
As soon as that thought drifted through her mind, something was jammed on her head and she curiously attempted to knock whatever it was off and onto the ground.
From the man, she heard a musing "I guess there's only one way to find out." and she was being moved. Set down onto something, the object blocking her eyesight was moved up and Shimei found herself looking into a mirror as she was seated on the man's lap.
"You're practically the female version of me with a prettier face and better hair." The man said but Shimei barely heard him, too focused on the striped green and white hat slouching off her head. Gaze darting back and forth between herself and the crown of his hair, she felt the pieces in her mind slowly click together.
But she only really got it once he swiped the hat from her and placed it on his person.
With arms out wide, he grinned. "How do I look?"
And thus for the second time today she started crying. But this one was from legitimate fear and disbelief because holy shit this man whom she had long since recognized as her father was KISUKE URAHARA.
As in the Kisuke Urahara who was the joint reason for many people's sorrows. Kisuke who manipulates and lies for the 'safety' of his comrades. Kisuke Urahara who was at the center of it all.
The waterworks came so hard and fast that she didn't think she'd ever be able to stop. Catching the pained expression on his face, she felt a vindictive pressure in her chest. He should feel bad, this was all his fault!
"Well, if you didn't think I looked good you could have said so." He sighed, lifting her to his shoulder to pat her into a state of docility. "No need to cry about it."
Having tired herself out from her earlier activities - which had done wonders for her still fragile state of mind - Shimei awoke lying in the man's - her father's - Kisuke's - whatever! - lap. Unsure what to do around the man who never in the manga made her go "huh, that man would be a FANTASTIC father figure!", she just laid there.
And now here she was, listening to him hum a nonsensical tune under his breath as she stared up at his face.
Honestly, she was lost.
How was she supposed to plan around the master planner? Because there was no way in hell she wouldn't try to cook up her own precautionary scheme while being surrounded by Vizards, Shinigami, and Hollows - all of which could kill her! She needed something more solid than Urahara to rely on and not to mention she didn't want to fight at all. Everyone here had no sense of self preservation and threw themselves at each other with the sharp side of the sword facing away. Shimei was not prepared to die fighting some grossly overpowered enemy...but then again, she wasn't prepared to die because she couldn't fight some grossly overpowered enemy.
For all she knew Urahara was not going to train her under the stupid pretense of protecting her. If it happened to Orihime, it was more likely to happen to her as his daughter. It was a completely different thing, sending someone else's child out to battle versus sending one's own.
But what if she didn't have any powers? And what guaranteed Urahara to train her if she did? If either situation came to fruition - and it was a fifty-fifty chance for either - she would really be helpless and his keep-Shimei-tucked-safely-in-the-house-plan would be totally spot on. Not that she was totally adverse to that, but she didn't want to be defenceless if put in a dangerous situation with no one to help her.
And this was Bleach, Kubo loved doing that to female characters.
Staring at the man who was writing something out, Shimei hesitantly brushed that thought to the side. This was Urahara, he didn't seem like the type to get a human pregnant, let alone get flirty with one unless they interested him with something. And even if her mother - who was insane for choosing to frickle frackle with Hat n' Clogs - wasn't someone who had abilities she was sure Kisuke's Soul Reaper side was strong enough to give her something to work with.
Look at the Kurosaki's, granted their mother was a Quincy, but you get the idea.
As much as she wanted to stay out of this, she knew that would basically be impossible, she was at the eye of the storm. At some point, she would be getting involved, whether by her own volition or because someone dragged her into it kicking and screaming. Don't get her wrong, she would fight to protect herself, but not in an attempt to change this world. She was a realist, not an optimist. Shimei hoped she only needed to worry about cultivating her non-existent skills without detection, if he found out he'd probably try to stop her.
So she prayed to whatever deity there was - her best bet was the Soul King - that she wouldn't turn out powerless like Yuzu. It was fine for the youngest Kurosaki girl to be that way since her father wasn't the one who created an overpowered marble and was the mastermind who rivaled Aizen in scheming.
Shimei's mind halted at the mention of that man who surprisingly only just now registered as a threat.
Dear god Aizen! The twisted things that man did and she was the daughter of his arch nemesis! Why not just paint a bullseye on her back and hope for the best? She doubted anybody actually knew of her existence but Aizen knew about Ichigo's birth when that was supposed to be a secret too! The only thing she could do was trust Kisuke on this and that was not very reassuring!
Feeling very stressed at her new line of thoughts, she could feel the child part of her rise up at her rampant emotions, she gave several choked whimpers and nearly started hollering to high hell again. Grey eyes connected to hers and Kisuke hummed.
"I guess it is your feeding time." He said scratching his chin before rising to a stand. "Let's go."
Shimei never noticed it because of the heart stopping revelations earlier but she couldn't understand Japanese. Sure, she knew words like "I", "cute", and "fight on," but who didn't that watched anime? If she was going to be stuck here it was in her best interest that she learn the language. She doubted that Urahara would feel comfortable if she started speaking English in the middle of Japan when no one taught her. He wouldn't be able to brush it off as psycho babble and Shimei found herself wishing she got an easier place to be reborn in.
Hetalia was a non-threatening, nice, and moderately crazy world. The worst she would have to worry about was getting in the middle of a world meeting brawl and not being cleaved in half by a stray Zanpakuto.
Watching the ceiling pass by from her coddled spot in Kisuke's hold, she thought about it and didn't Urahara live with-
"Aa, Tessai!" He said cheerfully and she was moved into someone else's arms. Yeah, this guy and two other kids.
She wouldn't be fully entrusted to him? Thank god, he would probably accidentally poison her milk or do something like place the Hogyoku in with her Gerber and consequently her.
"I'll take care of this." The deep voiced man said. Shimei's pudgy uncoordinated fingers twitched with the need to pull his mustache because it was just so...there.
"What?" He pouted like a child who had been denied. "Do you not trust me to care for my own child?"
Tessai shot him a droll look and Shimei really wished she could understand.
"Do you remember the cat?" An eyebrow rose and Kisuke wilted in response.
"But this is a completely different situation." He muttered dejectedly, eyes casting off to the side. "I can prepare milk."
Walking onwards Tessai kindly replied. "I'm sure you can but I'll handle this."
"Fine, fine." He sighed following them, a petulant air about him. "I'll let you care for MY daughter."
"Good." Tessai nodded. "Now watch closely if you ever want to learn how to do this correctly."