(Mitt Romney)

When Mitt saw Barack standing there in his elegant silk evening suit, his heart started pounding and his head started spinning. "Wow," he thought. "This is what it must feel like to meet Nixon." Mitt was in love.

(Barack Obama)

Barack saw Mitty and he felt an instant gravitational pull towards the man…he looked so mature and manly with his graying hair flowing in the wind, but it contrasted with his beautiful ear to ear smile. At that moment, Barry knew he was falling, hard and fast. He was suddenly glad for the SuperMomYoga! Class that Michelle had so recently taken up.

(Mitt Romney)

Mitt advanced towards the mesmerizing vision that was Mr. Obama. With every step he took, he feared his knees would betray him. He could feel perspiration forming on his botoxed forehead and callus-free palms, but his heart insisted that he keep moving forward.

(Barack Obama)

The anticipation was torture for Barack; he loved Mitty, but he walked so goddamn slow. There was an unfamiliar sensation fluttering in the depths of the dark man's soul…it was like a cage of birds - no, butterflies! - flapping against the hard, almost-ab lined estomago, trying desperately to escape and fly onto the lips of the pale white chocolate man.

(Mitt Romney)

45 minutes later, Mitt was almost there! So close, just a few more feet. He knew that if his existence had required but one task of him, this was it. He lifted his shiny leather fitted left shoe to take the very last step. He felt his grounded right foot wobble for a millisecond before he lost his balance - and toppled to the floor, landing right below his Dream Man's feet.

(Barack Obama)

Obama felt his whole world crumble at this point. He realized now that there was nothing worth living for - he would have to go back to his monotonous life of being president, of coming home to gourmet meals and sitting with…Michelle. It was a scary thought, but a rational one nonetheless; there was no way he could continue with his forbidden lover if he kept giving in to his episodes of narcolepsy…it was too painful to watch. One day he would fall, and hit his head on a desk, and he would never wake from his Barack would die himself before he saw that happen.

(Mitt Romney)

*Sleeping*

(Barack Obama)

Obama then reached into his silk suit pocket, pulled out two sezed 11 ballet shoes, and slipped them on. He raised his arms gracefully into perfect poise, and bounded off on his tippy toes. Before he pirouetted out the door, he glanced back over his shoulder, and Mitt Romney was looking back at him with desperate pleading. And Obama said, "bitch, i'm da prez" and left.

~The End~