A/N: Submission for fake relationship day of SQ week. Post 3B and crack-ish, fair warning.

Oh and, I obviously don't own OUAT.


Fake Out

Three Months

It's been three months since Emma accidentally fucked the future up, well not the future, but more or so just Regina's life. Regina was angry at first, and then she made peace with it…and then she was angry again because Emma had her perfect little life and her perfect little Killian and, "Can I get another shot?" She asks the bartender as the thoughts of Emma Swan begin to become increasingly annoying.

"Regina…this is your 5th shot. Can you even feel your face?"

Regina turns to her newest friend in Storybrooke and gives her a pointed glare…or at least she attempts to. It more or so just looks like she's going to vomit by the way her body is swaying. "Elsa…I don't tell you how to live your life. You know…you can't just roam into town with a talking snow man and expect people not to ask questions Elsa…but I accepted you."

"You lit him on fire after calling him a Snow Troll from hell Regina…"

Regina gasps, as if offended even though that's exactly what happened. "And then I brought him back to life, because I," she points to herself sloppily, "Regina Mills am a hero now."

Elsa doesn't bother arguing and just rolls her eyes before looking at the bartender. "Next rounds on her."

He smiles, but it's one of those smiles that is too wide to be genuine and it's extremely strained. He's probably afraid of me, Regina thinks as she smirks to herself, good.

"No problem." Then he walks away to get the shots, Regina isn't exactly sure what's she's even drinking anymore but she knows she needs it because the awkward run in with Robin Hood and his precious, supposed-to-be-dead-but-not wife today caused her blood to boil.

"You know what Elsa, Robin Hood should change his name to…Robin Could because he could have had me but instead he wanted his wife and family...ridiculous." She frowns, thinking about how today they all look so happy until they saw her at the diner. It wasn't like she wanted to run into Storybrooke's newest nuclear family, but Starbucks wasn't around when the Dark Curse hit Storybrooke and there was no other place to get coffee.

"I didn't even like him in the first place, he smelt like one of those weird pine cone air fresheners that teenagers buy when they smoke too much weed in their car."

"Here you ladies go," the bartender smiles at both of them before nervously setting the shots down. As soon as Elsa's hit the bar top, she downs it. Listening to Regina talk about Robin is beginning to become exhausting.

As she looks up from draining her shot, she can't help but notice a familiar flash of blonde hair coming through the entrance of the bar…and oh shit. Emma Swan is here. Elsa sighs as she rubs her temples in preparation for the fight that is surely about to happen.

Emma immediately notices Regina and vice versa then for a moment they just stare at each other. It's actually very weird, because Elsa can't tell if they're about to hit each other or have rip each others clothes off. She pays those thoughts no mind as Emma walks over.

"Well,well,well,well,well," Regina starts off with a noticeable slur, "if it isn't Misses I'm the savior watch me save things, Emma Swan."

Emma rolls her eyes, "Listen, I don't want any trouble tonight Regina."

"I didn't want any trouble three months ago but it didn't stop you and your precious make up wearing boy friend from creating it for me."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not dating Hook, Regina." She says just before moving in a little closer than necessary and seriously are they going to kill each other or have public sex, it's a complete mystery to Elsa. "And if I was, it would have nothing to do with you…your majesty."

Elsa isn't even surprised by the weird sex vibes coming off of Emma, but she is surprised by the way Regina's hardened gaze falters at the information.

"Henry said-"

But Regina doesn't get the chance to speak as Emma cuts her off, "I went on a few dates with him, he made it weird, I ended it."

Regina looks down, her brow furrowing as she thinks of something to say. Being witty is not easy when she's in this state of intoxication. "…I still hate you." She mutters under her breath and both Elsa and Emma groan at the woman.

"Listen Regina," Elsa beings while taking glances at both women, "Emma obviously didn't know who Maid Marian was…maybe you should just let it g-"

"Shut the fuck up Elsa! I swear…if you finish that sentence I will find your stupid little snow troll and ship it to Orlando Florida."

Elsa puts her hands upward in surrender while shooting a knowing look at Emma. "You know what…I think I'm going to go home. You can deal with this on your own Regina." Elsa smiles sheepishly while standing and swaying just a little bit.

"Do you need me to call you a cab?" Emma asks, because it's obvious that this woman can't drive.

"No, I can walk."

"Are you sure? I mean it's pretty cold outside."

"God fucking dammit Emma…" Regina says, gritting her teeth. "You had to mention the cold."

Elsa winks at both of them before sauntering off, but just as she reaches the door she looks over her shoulder. "The cold never bothered me anyways." Regina only growls to herself while watching Elsa exit.

After a few moments of silence, Emma awkwardly asks, "So…are we okay?" Because…there really isn't anything she can do about the whole Maid Marian thing... Was it kinda dumb? Yes, but how was she supposed to know that Regina was dating freaking Robin Hood and she was bringing back his dead wife?

Regina glares at Emma, looks at her shot, drains it and then gives out a crisp, "No," as she turns away to face the bar.

"Come on! It was one tiny little mistake in the space time continuum…I didn't mean to."

Regina snaps her head around to face Emma again, "You ruined my life!"

"You knew him for like five days!"

"We were going to live in a forest cabin and adopt bambi!"

"That doesn't even make sense Regina!"

Letting out a small, undignified huff, Regina mutters, "You don't know my life…"

"Uh…yeah? I kinda do…I mean everyone knows your life. There is literally an illustrated book that covers almost every single detail of your life."

"It doesn't show my true hopes and dreams Emma…"

Regina tries to hold Emma's gaze, but she's swaying a lot and eventually ends up looking off into the distance.

"Listen, can we just…ya know, hang it up tonight? I just wanna drink, you just wanna drink I mean-" Emma stops speaking as she feels her phone vibrating in her pocket, "Hold on a sec."

"God dammit…" Emma mutters, inwardly groaning as she see's the name Killian on her caller id. She would just not answer, but knowing him he'll continue to call until she picks up. Sighing, she presses answer and brings the phone up to her ear.

"What do you want Hook?" Emma can see Regina roll her eyes and scoff, but ignores it, turning around to gain at least a semblance of privacy.

"Swan…I love you."

"Yeah, I know…you've mentioned it like 50 times."

"Please, let me know how I can right this wrong. I know you feel something for me…you can only run from this so long."

Emma sighs, Hook has been testing her patience these last few weeks and it's becoming increasingly annoying. "Hook, I do not want you…I don't know how can make that more clear."

"Where are you? I can hear people and…are you at a bar?"

"Where I'm at doesn't matter…can you please jus-"

"You're at the Rabbit Hole….that's the only bar in Storybrooke. I'm coming over Swan."

"Please can you n-" Emma is met with static mid-sentence and can't contain her low growl. Great…more people I don't want to see.

"I see you're handling your pirate well Miss Swan, " Regina comments haughtily while smirking at Emma. "You know you really shouldn't fight it…maybe Captain eyeliner really is your soul mate."

"Jesus Christ Regina! Are you really going to bring up this soul mate thing again?" Emma lets out a short huff in mild frustration, then looks up to meet Regina's gaze again. "I never said he was my soul mate, we were only dating…You assumed that out of some weird paradox where I take your soul mate away to get my own…or something like that?"

Regina shakes her head, 'no'. "In this universe Miss Swan, happy endings are rare…you took mine so you could have your own." She says childishly, and it's not the first time Emma has heard this weird happy ever after bullshit spiel from Regina.

"Well…Hook isn't my happy ending, hate to break it to you."

Regina's gaze falls downward for a bit before she looks back up at Emma, a smirk in place. "Maybe not…maybe we are both meant to be miserable…or maybe this is your universal punishment for taking away Robin."

"I didn't even know! I've said I'm sorry and—" Emma stops herself as a thought bubbles in her brain. A ridiculous, stupid, insane and kind of brilliant thought.

"What?" Regina snips out, breaking the blonde's train of thought.

"Its just…Hook is coming by." She says, letting her words linger out into the clustered air of the bar. What she's thinking of is completely idiotic and Regina will probably slap her in the face for even suggesting it.

"Yes, I gathered that information. I'm not an idiot…like you." The last part is said with a chuckle, as if it was some sort of grand joke but Emma isn't amused.

She only rolls her eyes and continues, "Well, he's probably going to try and win me back or some bullshit like that."

"Oh, I can't wait to see that…" Regina deadpans with a disgusted frown on her lips.

"But… maybe if I have someone to um…ward him off. Like if I was dating someone already. Someone he wouldn't mess with."

Regina looks at her for a moment and then shrugs before turning slightly to face the bar. "Good luck with that." She says before yelling out, "Whiskey please!"

"Regina!" Emma says, startling the brunette, "Someone he wouldn't mess with. A person who was available…who could maybe ward him off with some sort of destiny bullshit?"

This time Regina seems to understand as she glares pointedly at Emma. "You want me…to date you, the woman who ruined my life, all so your precious Killy Willy Poo will leave you alone?" Her words are icy and Emma actually backs away for a moment as she considers what to say next.

"I uh…not really! Just pretend, I could help you too ya know?"

Regina looks down at the ground, pursing her lips while pondering Emma's statement. "How?"

"Well…I could be your girlfriend too. You could use me for whatever you like—I know you hate people pitying you for the whole Robin thing and oh! …Maybe Robin will see you with me and get jealous…c'mon Regina, we could make this work." Emma says with a smile, moving in closer to the drunken brunette.

Regina eyes her warily, "So…this thing would last at least a couple of days."

Emma shrugs, "It's up to you; days, weeks…whatever. As long as you help me with this Hook shit-tuition."

Regina gives Emma a smile that's way too wide too mean anything good right now as she says, "Okay Miss Swan…under one condition."

Emma groans, immediately regretting whatever she just did. "What?"

"Nobody knows it's fake…there is someone I would very much like to break this news too."

"Oh god…is it my parents? Please tell me it's not them, I thought you guys buried the hatchet or curse or whatever?"

"We did…and it's not your parents Miss Swan. In fact, it's no one you need to worry about, just make sure this keeps secret."

Emma looks doubtful for only a moment before she sighs and says, "Deal."

"Good…because look who just arrived." Regina says gesturing her head to the side. Looking over her shoulder, Emma immediately sees Hook coming through the entrance and grimaces once she meets his hopeful eyes.

"Swan!" He shouts excitedly while walking across the bar to meet both of the women.

Emma rapidly turns to face him with an uneasy smile on her face because there is just no way in hell this plan will actually works but she has to try…"Hey Killian." Her eyes are training in on the floor so she doesn't actually have to look the pirate in the eye right now.

"Hook." Regina says, addressing the man in the driest way possible as she curls up her lip in distaste while looking him up and down. Of course he's in his typical pirate garb…

"Hello Regina," He replies formally before dropping all interest in her and looking at Emma with his big, stupid, broody eyes. "Emma, we need to talk."

"Look…I know that you—"

Hook makes a grab for her hand immediately setting Regina on edge. She doesn't particularly like Emma, but the idiot clearly doesn't want to be bothered and Captain Eyeliner should accept that.

"Swan, I love you and I know you love me."

"Here's the thing Hook, I don't. I know you think this is some weird fated crap…but it's not. I am not in love with you."

"But Swan—"

"She said she's not in love with you." Regina steps in, her features hard as she glares at Hook with the most menacing face she can muster up under her intoxication.

"With all due respect your majesty, I think this is between Emma and I."

And that's what does it for Regina, that cocky entitlement is what sets her on edge. She snarls as she stands up beside Emma who actually looks fearful of what might happen. That is until Regina stumbles slightly and has to lean into the blonde, her hand resting against Emma's shoulder.

"You see Hook," She spits out with evident disdain. "I don't believe that's completely true." Her words are slurred but Hook can hear them loud and clear.

His smirk is something Regina completely expected, but it still pisses her off. "Oh? And why is that love?"

Regina smirks right back before turning a stunned Emma to face her and immediately planting her lips on the blonde's.

Emma is frigid and shocked at first; unaware of what the hell is happening. Then she loosens up into the kiss and it's actually kind of nice. Letting her hands wander slightly, she grabs onto Regina's hips and is surprised when the woman doesn't pull away.

If she were to be completely honest, Emma would say she's actually enjoying herself. Regina's lips are soft and warm as they move with hers…and even though she taste like alcohol, it's not a bad contrast.

When Regina sucks on her bottom lip though, she almost loses all thought and…wait why are they kissing again? She feels her own arousal beginning to grow before Regina pulls away, holding a smirk against her lips.

The room is kind of spinning when she takes in a deep breath and then turns to face a stunned Hook. She quickly clears her throat before blurting out, "I have to go to the bathroom."

Regina smiles at her, "Do you want me to go with you…honey?" Emma shakes her head, lost in though because wow…Regina is really laying this on thick.

"No, I'm good…I'll be back in a minute."

Regina then turns to face Hook as Emma scurries off, with a mayoral smile she says, "That's why."

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, unsure of what he just witnessed. "You…you and Swan?"

"Yes, Swan and I are lovers."

He gives her a questioning look before straightening up and smiling. "Ah? Why make it a secret then?"

"Well…it started off in Neverland, and let's just say we made the Jolly Rodger a lot Jollier." She lies with another smirk, because even though Hook is trying to act like it's not phasing him, she can see the way he swallows in. "Then we obviously stopped when she went to New York."

"Wait…but she kissed me in Neverland." He says, trying to sound triumphant.

Regina snorts out in laughter, "And then she went down on me for thirty minutes because you tasted like cheap rum." She holds in her laughter as Hook's face goes from cocky to wounded because this is just too good.

"Why did you hide it in Storybrooke?"

Regina's eyes widen for a moment as she tries to think of something, but it's only a brief flash of panic and Hook is too broody to notice. "I was mad at her for bringing back that maid, then there was Elsa who froze everything but through that we healed and we are in love." She says with as much conviction as she can while still trying to hold in her laughter.

He nods, like he's actually accepting this, which confuses Regina a bit. "I see…I suppose I should have seen this."

That causes Regina to quirk an eyebrow up in surprise, "Seen what?"

"You and Swan…I always figured there was something there." He stops there, looking into Regina's eyes and she almost laughs again because he looks like he's about to cry. She holds it in, but only because of her extreme confusion.

"Why would you—"

"Hey," Emma says, stepping in with a sheepish smile at both of them.

"Hello lass, I understand these circumstances now. I will always love you though Swan…always."

Matching Regina's confusion, Emma looks at him but then nods, "Um…thank you Killian."

He smiles before turning around to leave, once he exits Emma latches onto Regina in a tight hug. "I don't even know what you said, but thank you."

Regina curls her lip in disgust as she pushes the blonde off of her. "Yes, well…we have a deal. I do hope you keep your side of the bargain."

Smiling, Emma moves next to her and sits down. "Of course."


It's a few days later that the entire town knows the nature of Regina and Emma's 'relationship', even though neither of the women has been seen in public together since the Rabbit Hole. Emma has had Henry and Regina's been staying in for the most part.

Regina only knows the news has travelled because of a text she got from Snow, telling her to come over ASAP.

If Snow knows…everyone knows.

When the door opens, David is there giving her a small but curious smile.

"Come in Regina." He says, gesturing her into the living room. Regina holds in her groan when she spots Henry, Emma, and Snow all sitting together awkwardly on the couch. Then she panics for a moment because, does Henry know?"

She eyes him warily for a second and he shoots her a wink, she'll accept that as a yes for now.

"Regina," Snow says with a chipper smile but is clearly uncomfortable with her awkward posture and roaming eyes. "Please, sit."

Regina thinks about making a snarky comment back, but decides against it and takes her place on the chair adjacent to the couch.

"Now, Regina…I have become aware of your relationship with my daughter." Snow's tone is gentle, and Regina forces herself not to roll her eyes because even though she's on good terms with Snow, old habits die hard. "I want you to know that David and I are okay with that, although we are a little disappointed neither of you decided to tell us."

"Well Snow, if you could keep a secret maybe we would have." Regina can't help saying and it earns her a pointed glare from both Emma and Henry.

"So it's all true?" Snow asks, ignoring the comment.

Regina smiles widely at Emma and then looks at Snow, "Oh yes! I truly believe I have found love with Emma…she is just sooo wonderful in so many ways." Her tone on the last part is purposely suggestive and she smirks at the small grimace on Snow's face before she turns to see that Henry is wearing a similar one.

"Okaaay, I don't think I'm needed anymore. I'm going to play Xbox." Says Henry while standing up.

"You don't have any questions, Henry?" It's David who asks this time and the boy only shrugs.

"My moms are happy, I'm happy…anyways, it's better than having mom hate Emma for bringing back Marion." He says with a small smile aimed at both of his mothers. "So…can I be done?"

Regina nods, "Of course sweetie."

Looking mildly uncomfortable, Emma shifts upward once Henry leaves. "Um…so are there any questions?"

Nodding, Snow asks, "Yes, when did this thing happen?"

Regina perks up almost immediately and can practically feel Emma's glare on her. "Well, I must admit we've had this sexual tension going on for quite some time now. Even before the curse…I mean it was really just always there, this feeling of carnal lust. I couldn't help myself with the way Emma wore those tight jeans…you're daughter has a magnificent—"

"Um, Neverland." Emma cuts in, afraid of where Regina is taking this. She remembers Regina debriefing her story with Hook and that seems to be the time they're settled on.

David purses his lips before saying, "That makes sense."

"Huh?" Regina and Emma blurt out at the same time.

With a small nod, Snow says, "Well honey…I've always known you weren't um, straight. I mean the flannel and leather? Also before the curse you were saying something about how you didn't need a man, and that was great and all…but I could tell what you really meant." Emma only opens and closes her mouth a few times in an attempt to gather words.

"In truth I really thought you and the mayor were having…relations for quite some time. That is until the curse broke and I chose to forget about that…but seeing it now, it really does make sense."

Regina wants to be confused, but she can only smirk while looking at Emma's flabbergasted face. "Yes, well it did start off as just a few one night stands but it really has grown into something more…hasn't it Emma?"

"Uh, sure. Yeah." She replies, still at a loss for proper words.

"I mean, I was certainly shocked when Emma just plowed into me against a tree, but really I just couldn't refuse."

Snow's face blanches at the wording, and Regina inwardly pats herself on the back. If she's going to have to pretend to date Sherriff Dumbass, she's going to make it worthwhile.

David lets out an uncomfortable cough as he clears his throat and the image in his mind. "Well…we're happy for you two. Truthfully."

Regina can't help but notice the genuine smile that begins to grace the blondes pink lips and she actually smiles herself before she shakes off the odd warm feeling coursing through her. She's not happy that Emma's happy…she's just, grateful the plan is working. Yes, that's it.

"Thank you," Emma replies just as she turns to face Regina. To Regina's surprise the smile doesn't falter, and she gets this odd tingling sensation in her stomach. She doesn't even notice this time that she is smiling back, wide and earnest.

They all talk for a while and Regina almost feels content for the first time since Robin left her for Marion at the diner. There's a warm completing feeling in her chest that she can't quite place and it's not the first time she's felt it, but it is the first time in months.

Dinner with the Charming's and Henry…Yes that was the last time she felt it. She remembers because that was when she was helping Emma with her magic. Idiot, she idly thinks to herself but there is also another surge of warmth that comes with the memory.

It's nice, but sinking into it will surely just make the eventual fall that much harder so eventually she excuses herself to go into the kitchen.

"Hey," She turns to the soft voice of Emma Swan and rolls her eyes.

"Shouldn't you be out there with the nuclear family Miss Swan?"

"Yeah, but…I felt like the appropriate um…girlfriend move would be to check on you."

Regina gives the blonde a tight smile, "Oscar winner of the year."

With a shrug and a small smirk, Emma says, "Well…I do have the same amount of awards as Leonardo Dicaprio, so there's that."

Regina snorts against her better judgment before sighing, "So…how long are we going to do this and does Henry know?"

"Yeah, I debriefed him already and…a few weeks tops?" Emma's bottom lip is being worried in between her teeth as she talks to Regina, nervous that the woman will get mad at her suggestion. "I mean…I don't want this to seem like some quick thing because if we end it too soon Killian will—"

"Brood and beg for you back?" Regina supplies with her trademark smirk.

"Yeah…"

Shrugging, Regina gives Emma a faint nod. "I suppose I have no other suitors objectifying to my false love life."

"Great, and maybe you could um…not torture my parents with life scarring images?" Emma says it seriously but there is a small smile playing out on her lips.

"Fine…"

"Thanks." Emma then begins to leave but stops as she says, "For what it's worth, I think Robin is an idiot for not even considering you."

Regina thinks about saying something snide or angry but all she does is sigh and watch the blonde exit. Maybe, it's time to stop being so mad at Emma...maybe.


It's dark and nearly empty in the pawnshop. There's dust gathering around the place and the one window provides little light. Regina strolls through aimlessly, hell bent on talking with Rumple today.

"What can I do for you?" He asks, and that cocky little lilt isn't really in his voice, it hasn't been since Belle left him after finding out the truth about Zelena. Regina had been furious as well, but in the end it wasn't worth it to act out on her anger.

Anyways, now Rumple is alone and completely stripped of magic…there wasn't anything she could do to make his life worse. "How is Belle holding up with your dagger" She asks with a small smirk.

Rumple immediately stiffens, it's been weeks since he actually gave the dagger to his beloved—offering it as a last wish. "Well as you see, I've been confined to this very lovely shop for several days now. I'd say she's doing quite well."

"Good," Regina states while walking in closer to the former imp. "I'd like to share my own good news with you now Rumple."

"And what is that, dearie? Did you kill the precious maid in order to realign destiny? I don't think Robin will do to well with that Regina."

Smirking once again, Regina gives him a pointed, "No." She paces around in casual circles before running her index finger on a particularly dusty counter. She scowls at it before flicking the dirt off. "I have found love in another resident of Storybrooke."

"Ah…" He says with obvious curiosity. "And who might that be?"

"Emma Swan." She says and then smiles at the man's jaw practically dropping to the floor. "Yes, I know…funny how things work out isn't it?"

He frowns and there's a glint of hostility in his darkening eyes. "And why would I care about this news?"

With a sharp turn, Regina faces him, shoulders squaring. "I win. I am happy while you are stuck here, alone." She doesn't feel bad about the extra word, because in the end that's how Rumple wanted her, killing off the very last of her family.

"Watch yourself dearie, I think we all know how circumstances can change."

She only smiles at Rumple, "Yes…but now, this is the end." Regina says and knows she'll come to regret that when truth breaks out, but she can't help but marvel in over this victory…even if it is completely false. "I'm content and this is my happy ending."


Emma's been 'dating' Regina for a week and a half now and it's been more than interesting. For the most part, things really aren't that odd. They meet up for breakfast and coffee, usually with Henry as a third party and share the occasional lingering touch in public.

Henry seems happier now that they aren't constantly tensed and at each other's throat, and Regina seems well…less tense. If Emma didn't know any better she'd say that this was the best idea she's ever had.

Regina and her are slowly becoming somewhat friendly again, and Hook is backing the fuck off finally. It's nice.

She is sitting alone at Granny's when Robin enters with Maid Marion. She gives them both a small wave which is returned in kind by Marion…Robin on the other hand just offers a stiff nod. Interesting, she thinks with a smirk.

When the two begin to talk she can't really help but eavesdrop, which is when she finds out about their date tonight. She picks up the location, Enchanted, which is the only fancy restaurant in Storybrooke. Then she picks up a time of seven.

Emma pulls out her phone with a soft smile as she texts, We're going on a date tonight.

Why?

just trust me okay?

And why in god's name would I do that?

Emma only rolls her eyes before replying. Don't act like you still hate me Regina…just be ready by 7 okay?

What do I wear?

She smiles at her victory; just look your very best, k?

Fine.


When Emma knocks on the door to Regina's, she's almost nervous but keeps reminding herself that there isn't anything to be nervous about. It's just a fake date with her former enemy turned fake girlfriend.

That calms her nerves for a moment until the door is swinging open to Regina and, holy shit, are the only words that Emma can seem to think because the brunette looks amazing.

She's not even wearing anything over extravagant, it's just a simple black cocktail dress but…wow. Emma looks down at herself and frowns because the simple blue dress she decided to wear doesn't hold a candle to how Regina looks.

Again, that doesn't matter though because this is just a fake date. She still gives Regina a warm smile as she greets her with a friendly, "Hey." Then after a brief moment of awkward silence and staring she adds, "You look fantastic."

Regina smiles back before her eyes do a noticeable once over of Emma and then meet back up with green. "You clean up well yourself, Miss Swan."

Shrugging, Emma says, "Eh…I try. So you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

"Ready to make Robin Hood nearly pass out." Regina's face blanches and Emma can't help but to chuckle as she extends her hand out…because why not do this fake date thing completely right?

"What?" She asks, her voice monotone but her hand reaching out to latch onto Emma's.

Emma pulls her along to the bug as she says, "C'mon…you look great. He won't stand a chance."

She hears Regina give out a loud sigh, but the woman is still readily moving with her to the car. Smiling, Emma grasps on tighter to Regina's hand, and can't quite help the warmth spreading through her when there isn't any objection on the other side.


There is a shift in the restaurant when Emma and Regina arrive together, joined by the hand and Emma can't help but smirk at the reaction they elicit. Almost everyone who is in viewpoint of the entrance is staring, mouths agape.

She takes a moment to look around; noting the dim area mostly lit by candlelight. The setting is extremely romantic and its color spectrum is made of royal reds and some shades of deep purple. It truly lives up to its name of Enchanted.

Then she gently drops Regina's hand, surprised that she actually missing the contact almost immediately. Pushing her shoulders back, Emma does a confident strut up to the hostess, smiling as she feels Regina close behind.

"Table for two, please."

The mousy looking woman falters at the pair before murmuring, "Um…we actually don't have any seating available."

Emma only smiles at the young brunette, "Here's the thing, you've got the Evil Queen and the Savior of this town coming in for a table…do you really want it to get back to your manager that you didn't let us in?"

She practically feels Regina's smirk at her words and has to hold back her own when the woman falters again. Clearing her throat she says, "Give us just a moment…I'm sure we can have something in less than 5 minutes."

Emma turns around to face a perfectly arched eyebrow and mischievous half smile then grins back.

"Miss Swan, I thought the precious Savior was above manipulation?"

Emma shakes her head, "I used to be a bounty hunter…I know how people work."

"And all without any higher education, color me impressed."

At that, Emma rolls her eyes. "Aren't people's dates supposed to be nice to them?"

Regina opens her mouth as if she is about to say something but is cut off by the hostess stepping in front of them.

"All ready, if you'll just come with me." The woman says and Emma turns to follow while scoping out the tables for Robin. She can hear Regina moving close behind her and shoots out a hand, which is grabbed almost immediately.

Sure enough Emma spots him, sitting across from Maid Marian and smiling. Much to Emma's surprise she then feels a soft squeeze on her hand and looks beside her to see a nervous Regina.

She doesn't think she's ever seen Regina nervous, at least not like this. The woman's hand is kind of clammy and she's fidgeting slightly, and that's when Robin turns to face them.

They keep walking to follow the hostess but Emma notices the way Robin's jaw hangs at the sight of them. She smirks before pulling Regina in closer to her side and kissing her lightly on the cheek…just for show.

The reaction Regina gives is completely the opposite of what Emma was actually expecting. Instead of stiffening and pulling away, Regina leans into the chaste kiss. Emma can't help but to smile, because there is a warm feeling buzzing inside of her from the brief action.

Eventually, the women are seated. Regina is on one side of the small stable and Emma the other(in perfect viewpoint of Robin). There's a white table cloth and in the middle a low burning oil lamp in the center. Before she can take I the scene, the Hostess plops their menus down and murmurs, "You will be set up with a waitress as soon as possible," and then scurries away.

"Smart girl," Regina notes, amused.

"Yeah…so you okay?" Emma asks, because she knows that Regina is fidgeting underneath the table and fighting to not look back at Robin who is surely discussing them at the moment.

Regina gives a small nod, "Yes…I suppose I am."

"Do you wanna looks like…super intimate for when he looks back at us?" Emma knows that at this point, she really doesn't care about Robin and just kind of likes the feeling of holding Regina's hand…not that she would ever admit that out loud.

It's not like she's into Regina or anything, it's just that the brunette is so warm and soft and pretty and extremely hot but other than that, there is nothing going on there with Emma. She does not want Regina Mills at all.

Regina purses her lips in thought and then places her hands onto the table open palmed for Emma to grab. The fact that she instantly takes the bait says nothing; she's just doing this to be nice. She owes it to Regina after kinda sorta … ruining her life.

After minutes of silent but not so awkward staring Regina clears her throat. "So this is the traditional date?"

Emma shrugs, "I guess…I mean, we could do date things if you want?"

"Well…seeing that we're going to be here for at least a half hour we might as well talk."

"Well…I have a question to start with…"

"And what is that?"

Taking in one deep swallow Emma asks, "Are you still mad? Like…genuinely upset with me?"

Brown eyes flint downward before meeting green again. "I was, for a while actually. I trusted you Emma." There's a strange vulnerability in Regina's voice that makes Emma kind of want to bury herself in the sand.

"I know, and I'm sorry…but you have to know that—"

"You didn't mean it, I understood that. Still…you directly defied the rules of magic without thinking it through…me losing Robin was actually the least worse thing that could have happened, do you understand that?"

Emma nods, because she really does. It was a stupid move and it ended up causing Regina to suffer in the long run. "I get that…I really am sorry though. You know I mean that, right?"

"Yes…but it doesn't fix what happened," Regina concedes solemnly.

"So you are still mad?" Emma asks and her heart is slightly heavy because she really thought that just maybe she'd been forgiven.

"No, I'm not mad…I just think that maybe in the end I'm not supposed to have a happy ending. At least not one like Robin will have or…you will have. I've made my peace with it though."

"Regina…a few days ago you were sloppy drunk at the Rabbit Hole."

Regina rolls her eyes at that, "Well…I didn't say I was completely over it. I'm entitled to be upset and let loose now and again."

"Yeah…you're right. But also…bullshit."

Regina then quirks her body up while giving a confused frown, "What?"

"I mean earlier…if Robin can be happy with his wife you can be happy with someone. Just because that didn't work out doesn't mean everything from now on will crumble."

"Say's the woman with a pirate constantly pining for her."

"Unwanted pining…"

"Still…you have someone that would be there for you at any moments notice."

Emma thinks about saying that she would be there for her, but it might sound too forward. Instead she goes with, "You have people, and friends. I mean, be honest here, are you really in love with Robin? Or is it just this soul mate thing digging at your brain? An easy way to happy?"

Regina shrugs and then sighs, "Possibly…"

"Well, stop thinking about that and him and start enjoying things a little bit more? I'm asking this as your devoted fake girlfriend." Emma says with a serious tone but then it breaks into a wide smile.

"I suppose for tonight I can manage to do that," She says while returning the smile and Emma could hit herself because god dammit she's totally into Regina Mills.


Regina is surprised because she's actually having a good time and her focus has only shifted to Robin once but only because the man made a show of leaving with Marian. She didn't even notice it until Emma brought it up, laughing at the awkwardness of Robins exit.

There is a lightness with being around Emma when no evident danger is around, and Regina has to admit that she kind of enjoys it. She also enjoys it when Emma laughs, but that's something she's less ready to admit. An odd serenity encompasses her when it happens though.

She's sad that the night is finally coming to a close, and she feels she shouldn't be because this wasn't a 'real date' even though everything points out that it was. Besides the obvious intention to make Robin jealous, they also talked and laughed…then at one point Emma fed her…and she didn't even attempt to fight it.

Still, it wasn't a real date…even though Emma looks gorgeous in her light blue dress that seems to compliment her soft pale skin in the most excellent of ways.

It's not a real date, even though Emma is nervously fidgeting after walking her to the doorstep of 108 Mifflin Street.

"So…I think tonight really worked," Emma says while looking at the ground and shifting her weight awkwardly. "I mean…he totally looked um, jealous or whatever."

"I suppose..."

Emma then looks up and quirks a sheepish half smile, "Regina?"

"Yes?"

"Um…feel free to say no or whatever but, do you wanna do this again sometime?"

Regina smiles before arching her eyebrow, "Go on a fake date?"

"Yeah…I just really enjoyed our fake date."

Biting her lower lip, Regina nods. "I think another fake date is necessary…"

"Of course, it's for the people. We want to be convincing, you know?"

"Definitely, but…" Regina stops before taking one full step towards Emma, making it so their feet nearly touch as they face one another.

Regina begins to lean in when she hears a murmured, "But what?"

"But, I think to make sure that this whole dating thing is fully convincing we're missing a crucial part of the typical first date agenda." And the words are said only an inch away from Emma's lips.

"Regina…nobody is even—" Regina cuts Emma of by pressing her lips against the thinner ones in front of her.

This isn't anything like the last kiss was, Regina deduces quickly. Mostly because she's actually sober and not just trying to piss off Killian. This time she lets her hands snake into soft blonde curls as her lips sink into Emma's.

She takes her time to notice the synchronized way soft lips move against hers, and how Emma's hands grasp tightly at her hips. Without thinking, Regina bites down softly onto Emma's lower lip, eliciting a small moan.

Once Emma's mouth parts she takes no time to move her tongue inside and coax against Emma's. The intrusion seems to be welcomed immediately because she can feel Emma's tongue dance along her own.

She can taste the faint traces of chocolate from the dessert they shared earlier as her tongue slowly explores Emma's mouth, and it only makes her want to drag the kiss out more.

Eventually she breaks away, needing to breath for a moment, but her lips and nose stay connected to Emma's. "What were you saying again?" She asks in a raspy whisper.

"Just that you're a really good fake kisser and I can't wait til' our second fake date."

Regina then smirks, "Wait until the third fake date…I can assure you that what happens after that will not," She stops to kiss Emma lightly, "be," another kiss, "fake."

Then Regina breaks away again, just in time to see Emma's darkened green eyes meet hers. She sees the way that Emma swallows in and it brings a smile to her face.

"Alright then…well, I guess I'll see you soon?" Emma says with a goofy grin of her own.

"See you soon." Regina watches as Emma walks away and gets into that horrid little car of hers but her smile never falters.

For once something might be going right, and oddly enough, this might just be the start of a new happy ending.


Thank you for reading!