*Clamp/Kodansha and other various companies own Card Captor Sakura and its characters. I am but a meek soul who resorts to fanfiction to satisfy her fangirl needs. Don't sue. Excerpt of the meaning is from the great Oxford American Dictionary (Heald Colleges Edition). However, the plot and lines are made by yours truly and that's the part where I get greedy. No copying, you don't know how long my fangs have grown… ^_^
**For 'Te Ekai and 'Te Sheila.
***Btw, this is inspired by 'Te Ekai's 'Fairy Tale' and Silver Hawk's 'Call of the Soul'. Read those. C'mon, you don't want to witness an early Armageddon, eh? And before I forgeeet, this is part of "The Caffeine Overdose Project". Err..don't ask.
By L. Hiiragizawa
Prism- /priz-em/ n. A transparent body of this form, usually triangular and made of glass that breaks light into the colors of the rainbow.
In the darkness he dwelt. Lonely. Melancholy. He thrived into the dimness, continually searching for hints of luminescence; seeking a light to engulf the unending blackness that was nearly consuming his immortal soul.
The youth, though no one held him nor did he hold anybody for comfort amidst the plaguing solitude, was bold and transcendent, wise beyond his deceiving innocence. Wisdom obviously danced in his eyes that were as blue as the sea and enchanting as the stars. Eyes, which have betrayed many meticulous observers from seeing through the secrets he hid with professionalism.
No one. Nobody knew that he, possessing a childlike exterior, harbored another being that made him invincibly intuitive and great. A being, because of his ideals and scholarship of magic, molded the meek mortal boy into a man of abilities and power. No longer did the boy enjoyed childhood, like normal boys and girls of his age. Instead, he explored the wonders of sorcery, forgetting his life, his happiness…his identity.
No longer did he know where he began and where the being ended. No longer did he know who he was, where he was leading to and what was his purpose of living. Completely enamored in magic, he forgot reality, forgot the world and even love.
Because love is nonsense, right?
And so he walked alone, not looking where his feet brought him, not knowing where to go…
Love is but pain behind the fleeting happiness, right?
And so he resolved to shy away from people…
It's a feeling for fools, and you are not such.
Shut himself from the light…
You are destined to be by yourself, like what has become of me.
She shielded herself from finding the reasons why. Why she needed to enclose herself and live in the abyss of darkness…
She lay limp in the hands of weakness and left her worries behind without giving acceptance to the truths that have pierced her being, wounded her pride, and broke her apart…
And so, in falsehood she dwelt. Dim. Painful. She lived in pretensions, in a world of make-believe. Behind the wistful smiles she showcased were the endless tears: hidden from the curious, kept in secrecy from the scrupulous, most especially to the ones who thought they knew her inside out.
The lady, whom everyone identifies as one who lived in a happy, carefree disposition, was in reality, alone. She wore masks after masks, switching the smiling disguises from day to day. The laughs she used were recorded, practiced and mastered that nobody noticed the hints of longing in each melodious expression.
The lady, amidst the people who loved her, did not seem contented. She drowned in so much selfishness that she wanted the one she loved from afar to be hers alone. But the compassionate she, allowed her loved one to fly freely unto the arms of her beloved. With sadness, she watched her love vanish into the green pastures of paradise, leaving the lady in remorse. After the flashes of white, coherent words of congratulations, she allowed herself to lull in the unending blackness, wishing that no light would dawn upon her weeping form, wishing to shut herself from everything.
Because there is nothing and no one worth living for, right?
And so she set aside her dreams…
And trust is something hard to give away.
He found himself still searching for a patch to complete his torn soul. Seeking far and low in nothingness, he found none. Still, after a long, long time, no streak of light graced his presence and impatience grew in him. There and then, in the empty space called his life, he wanted to give up digging for a lamp to light his way out of the hollowness.
He wanted to cry but did not dare welcome the tears.
Magic wasn't much of help. It did create a flicker of light but it wasn't wide enough to illuminate the infinite dimness.
Realizations broke in.
Intelligence was nothing.
Magic wasn't everything.
Happiness was irreplaceable.
Contentment is bliss.
He needed no wand, no wisdom, and no sorcery.
Yes, he needed someone.
A feminine voice from nowhere called.
And his curiosity, not needing a lamp or a candle to guide his steps, brought him to place he knew not where.
It rang in his ears once again as pitiful sobs followed. He sought for her direction, like a moth drawn to the flame. A wand in hand, he cast a spell that created a faint glow. A glow enough for him to witness the prima Donna, sprawled elegantly below his towering form.
"Why do you cry?" He asked, worry in his face, which was unusual for someone who was alien to human emotions.
Instead of a reply, her violet eyes that were shimmering in tears answered him. The voice from the most beautiful amethysts he ever saw seemed to exude sadness. Her cherry lips did not do the talking yet he understood for he noticed their parallelism, he noted her longing. She was alone as he was and he felt a sudden wave of warmness envelope his heart.
Kneeling down, he tipped her chin up to meet his gaze, hoping she would see that he knew how it was to be hurt. Hoping that she would see the unspoken language his heart wanted to convey.
She was struck by ceruleans that held sheer understanding and she melted under his stare. The untrusting mortal she was, she tried to stop him from knowing her; studying her deep within. Knowing no one to whom she could embrace tight, she flung into his arms, hoping he would take her.
He instinctively comforted her though his mind screamed not to.
Are you worthy to fall?
"Please take me." She whispered.
"Make me yours."
A tear from the woman fell into his cheek as he was slightly startled by her odd request.
"Take me as a slave. Feel free to use me according to your will. I'm more lifeless than a soulless corpse. I have no use. I am alone."
Her arms tightened around his waist and he finally saw how it was to find comfort and comfort the one who sought.
The feeling was explicit and he wanted it to last but his hands pushed her away gently, a confused look in his face.
Was all he said before enclosing her into clear glass, chaining her beauty in the transparent prison. In the palms of his hand, he saw her confined within walls of brittleness, a sad smile on her face. Guilt overpowered him but his subconscious agreed to what he did.
You just granted her wish. If you set her free, would you bear the loneliness once again?
So he continued to travel, seeking, still, for a bright light that would open a new world for him.
And for her…
Minutes ticked by, hours abruptly changed into days, which turned into years.
Though se had company, incompleteness shrouded over him and he stared wistfully at the expressionless face she wore.
It wasn't right. It was a mistake to take her, though she wanted to. It was wrong to be with someone who loved another. All along he was living in a fallacy and she, in lies.
They both knew yet denied. They both saw but blinded themselves in believing that maybe, everything would be all right.
But it wasn't. And it never was.
"Please tell me, are you happy?"
She faced him, eyes in confusion.
"All these years, you never forgot her."
He saw her shy away from his penetrating ceruleans that saw her beauty, drank her loneliness and touched her deepest emotions. By just observing and looking at her for years as she contentedly lived in a crystalline prison, he felt the unexpected. For the first time, he heard his own heartbeat. He tried to restrain the feeling, but it paved its way to his understanding.
And he was scared. He cannot love. He was never meant to.
"It's time. I no longer want to bear the guilt of taking away your freedom. You could freely leave. I shall take you away from that suffocating place. Forget me and find your light."
Pondering on his words, silence fell between them and she thought of the years she spent in his palms, of the years he warmed her, and of the years of care he gave. Because of the fear of loving, she failed to realize that she loved him as well. Because of the fear of losing, she never spoke. And because of such fears, she heard his words of letting go. And she got afraid.
"And what would you do? Break my barriers? Shatter the glass, wounding me in the process? Would you want to see me bleed?"
As he was about to leave her in the middle of the dark, he abruptly stopped, a stream of salty droplets fell from his delicate face.
He brought his hands to touch his cheeks.
"Please stay. I cannot fathom what would happen to me without you. You are my life. I want you to hold me when I break. When I bleed. I want you to feel the happiness of the future through my happiness. I want to live. We only have each other. Don't falter."
His eyes trailed back to where she stood and he sensed the hurt surge from the fragile barriers that surrounded her. He heard her spoke a string of words that brought a new light in him, awaking his mortality:
"You and I. Let's draw strength from one another, be my light and I shall be yours."
He looked up and saw in her eyes the light that he needed to escape the painful darkness. In her eyes he saw his future. In her he saw himself.
And for once in his life, he smiled and took her. Carefully, he stripped off the barriers of glass around her and saw the blackness fade.
She found her light.
He found his.
And no magic was needed.
Prism- /priz-em/ n. A transparent body of two souls, who sought each other through the brittleness, found each other's presence in the darkness, understood faults, accepted reality and loved.
This fic is a bit weird. For me that is. *Marvels at the wonders caffeine could do* I have gulped a total of 4 cups of coffee. Isn't that wonderful? [/sarcasm] Heh.
Oh! Oh! It's three am. Weee. I didn't realize that time flew too fast. So if this turns out bad, and there are typos accompanied by awful grammar mistakes, forgive me.
And speaking of fics…
Eriol-kun: What happened to Scarlet, young lady? *Raises an eyebrow*
Me me me: Uhhh… *scratches head*
Tomoyo-chan: (flaming in anger…) Hah! You are just excited to take advantage of my innocence, baka! *Slaps the poor fellow*
Me me me: *hands each reader a mallet*
Not too hard. I beg you, not too hard. x_x