Harry Potter



Oh, Hell No!


Underlined portions are direct quotes from J. K. Rowling's 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' (8 July 2000)











Harry and the rest of them were watching Dumbledore turn to leave the hall with the rest of the judges, when the Goblet started belching flames again. With a final belch of flames, another slip of parchment shot out of the Goblet. Automatically, it seemed, Dumbledore reached out a long hand and seized the parchment. He held it out and stared at the name written upon it. There was a long pause, during which Dumbledore stared at the slip in his hands, and everyone in the room stared at Dumbledore. And then Dumbledore cleared his throat, and read out –

"Harry Potter."

Harry was taking a sip of his pumpkin juice when Dumbledore said his name, and his drink sprayed across the table in shock onto his friend Neville.

"HEY!" Neville stammered out in surprise.

"What? Sorry, Neville," Harry stammered out as he set his cup down in shock as he realized everyone had turned to look at him. He was stunned, surely he was surely dreaming. He had not heard correctly.

"Did he say my name?" Harry asked as Neville was wiping his face.

"Yes, he did, Harry," Hermione responded as she handed a second napkin to their fellow Gryffindor.

There was no applause. A buzzing, as though of angry bees, was starting to fill the Hall; some students were standing up to get a better look at Harry as he sat in shock in his seat.

Up at the top table, Professor McGonagall had got to her feet and swept past Ludo Bagman and Professor Karkaroff to whisper urgently to Professor Dumbledore, who bent his ear towards her, frowning slightly.

Harry turned to Ron and Hermione; beyond them, he saw the long Gryffindor table all watching him, open-mouthed.

"I didn't put my name in," Harry said blankly. "You know I didn't."

Both of them stared just as blankly back.

At the top table, Professor Dumbledore had straightened up, nodding to Professor McGonagall.

"Harry Potter!" he called again. "Harry! Up here, if you please!"

"Go on," Hermione whispered, giving Harry a slight push.

Harry got to his feet and looked at Professor Dumbledore shaking his head 'no.'

"Harry, come up here," Dumbledore said again.

"No! And not only 'no,' but 'hell no!' I did not enter my name, and I refuse to compete…"

"You have to compete. It's a magical binding contract," Bartemius Crunch said from his spot at the table.

"Make me," Harry replied as he turned and walked towards the doors, mumbling, "I knew something like this was going to happen."

"Detention Potter, and fifty points from Gryffindor," Snape snarled out.

Harry flipped his left hand up and gave Snape the finger as he pulled the door open.

"Mr. Potter, get back here," Dumbledore shouted as the boy opened the door.

Harry stepped out of the great hall, slamming the door behind him. As the door closed, he took off running up the stairs. Reaching the charms corridor, he sprinted down the hallway to the statue of a knight with his sword held up above its head. Slapping the armor's chest plate, the statue slid to the side, and he was running up a circle ramp towards the seventh floor. Reaching the end of the ramp, he came to a stop as he saw Dobby waiting for him.

"Dobby, what are you doing here?" Harry asked as he looked at his small friend.

"Master Harry Potter, Sir, needed help! Dobby come! What can I do to help you, Master Harry Potter, Sir?" Dobby asked as he bounced on his toes.

"I need to get my trunk, and get out of Hogwarts before they force me to compete," Harry stated.

Dobby smiled, and with a snap of his fingers, Harry's trunk appeared, "Master Harry Potter, Sir, the castle is in lockdown. The Professors are looking for you, right now."

"Shit, I better get down to the Chamber of Secrets, it's the only place they cannot find me," Harry stated as he grabbed his trunk.

"Professor Greasy is guarding the bathroom door, Master Harry Potter, Sir," Dobby replied sadly.

Harry dropped his trunk and sat down on it, "Then they have me. I have no place to hide from them," he said sadly.

"I know a place. It's called the 'Come and Go' room. Follow me, Master Harry Potter, Sir," Dobby said excitedly.

"Really?" Harry asked lifting his head to look at his little friend.

"Yes, come," Dobby said and opened the door onto the seventh floor.

Harry followed, dragging his trunk behind him. He was confused when his friend led him towards a balcony at the end of the side hallway, instead of towards the Gryffindor entrance.

"There's nothing here, Dobby," Harry stated as he came to a stop in front of a tapestry showing Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet.

With a smirk, Dobby replied, "Ahh, but there is, Master Harry Potter, Sir. Just walk three times in front of the wall," he said pointing at the wall section across from the tapestry, "and think of a room to hide in."

Looking down at his friend, he nodded and started pacing, "I need a place to hide."

After the third pass a large oak door appeared and Harry gasped out, "I love magic!"

Yanking the door open he stepped into a room filled with what looked like junk, "What th…?"

"You asked for a room to hide in, this is the room to hide things. Quickly Master, Mrs. Kitty is coming," Dobby said from behind his master.

Harry stepped in and Dobby levitated Harry's trunk inside as he also stepped in. The door closed and vanished just as Professor McGonagall came walking around the corner heading for the Gryffindor entrance.

Harry and Dobby turned around, and the door became transparent, and they watched as his head of house went passed the invisible door. When she was out of sight, the door turned solid once more.

"That was close," Harry stated as he turned around to look at all the junk in the room, "What is all this stuff in this room?"

"This is what muggles call 'Lost and Found.' If we find it, and cannot find the owner, or if it's broken… then it's brought here. Things have been hidden here for hundreds of years," Dobby said. He snapped his fingers, and an area off to his right was cleaned up of broken sherry bottles. Another snap and a canopy bed appeared, along with a plush chair and a side table.

"Brilliant!" Harry said as he dragged his trunk over and dropped it beside the bed.

Sitting in the plush chair that appeared, he said as he ran his fingers through his hair, "What am I going to do?"

"What was your plan, Master Harry Potter, Sir?"

"Dobby, can you please just call me 'Harry?'" Harry asked as he looked at his friend.

"I can, Master Harry," Dobby replied.

Harry sighed and sat back in the chair, "I don't know. I guess to run away, but I need money from my vault if I'm to do that; and I don't have my key, Mrs. Weasley has it," Harry said with a sigh.

Dobby vanished with a 'pop,' and before Harry knew it, he was back holding the small golden key.

"Here you go, Master Harry."

"How did you do that? I was told you cannot apparate in Hogwarts!" Harry said as he took the key.

"We don't apparate, Master Harry. House Elves 'pop,' so those kind of wards don't stop us. That's how I was able to get to you at your muggle home. The Blood Wards stop wizards from apparating, but we elves have our own magic," Dobby replied.

"Sit down, Dobby, we have to plan…" Harry stopped as Dobby cocked his head, "What's wrong?"

"Whiskers is calling all the elves to him," Dobby replied, and then said sadly, "I must go."

"Wait. Dobby, do you want to be my elf?" Harry asked as he remembered what Crunch had done to Winky.

Dobby started dancing! He nodded his head so vigorously that his long ears flapped!

"Yes, Master Harry Potter, Sir! If I'm your elf, I can keep your secrets!"

"Then what do I do?" Harry asked his excited friend.

"Just say that you take me as your elf, as you place your hand on my head," Dobby replied as he came to a stop in front of Harry.

Harry placed his hand on the elf's head and said, "I take Dobby as my elf."

"I, Dobby, accept," Dobby replied.

Both Harry and Dobby glowed blue. When the glow vanished, Dobby popped out. With a sigh, Harry got up and laid back on the bed as a red glow encased the bed, hiding Harry behind elf magic.







Edited By TeNderLoin





Harry Potter™ is a registered trademark and copyright (©) of JK Rowling and all that crap. The only thing mine is the idea and several characters. Everything else is hers including all the money... Underlined is from Goblet of Fire.