Chapter 6: In the Devil's Lair
It was darkness. Hot blazing darkness. Suffocating. Sam tried to fight his way free of the prison that was his own body. He could hear his own voice, yet he wasn't speaking. Was this how Jimmy Novak felt? He had said it was like being chained to a comet. That wasn't even close to how Sam felt right now. He clawed some more. He had to get free. He had to take control.
"….I can feel you scratching away in there."
Sam cringed at Lucifer's words on his tongue.
"Look; I'll take the gag off okay."
There was light. Just a little light. The heat cooled and he could almost breathe again. He could also see himself. Like looking in a mirror and seeing a stranger. Then he realised that was exactly what he was doing. He saw his own features, but not his soul. Heard his own voice, but not his words.
"You've got me all wrong kiddo. I'm not the bad guy."
The pet name sent a sickening feeling though his gut. He tried to hide it beneath the anger and hoped he'd succeed. "I'm going to rip you apart from the inside out. Do you understand me?" Sam spat viciously.
He watched his own lips curve upwards into a cold smirk. "Such anger young Skywalker. - Who are you really angry with? Me? - Or that face in the mirror?"
Sam clung onto that anger as the fallen angel taunted him. "I'm sure this is all a big joke to you, huh?"
"Not at all." Lucifer shook his head. "I've been waiting for you. For a long, long time."
Sam felt his stomach pitch and roll.
"Come on Sam, you have to admit you can feel it, right?"
"The exhilaration. And you know why that is? Because we're two halves made whole."
Sam tried not to listen. Tried not to fall under the spell the fallen angel was trying to weave around him, but it was there. That small voice that said Lucifer was right. That he'd always wanted this.
"MFEO. Literary." Lucifer cooed.
The more Lucifer spoke, the louder the voice at the back of his mind got. Familiar. Reassuring. - Seductive. "This feels pretty far from good."
"I'm inside your grapefruit, Sam. You can't lie to me. I see it all."
Sam tried not to think. He tried to put up a wall. Keep Lucifer from seeing everything.
"How odd you always felt. How out of place in that….family of yours. And why shouldn't you have? They were foster care at best. I'm your real family."
Sam fought against the urge to listen and believe. Lucifer was wrapping truths around lies, creating a tainted version of reality. Much like the illusions Gabriel had weaved. "No. It's not true."
"It is. And I know you know it. All those times you ran away, you weren't running from them, you were running towards me."
Sam inhaled sharply. That voice whispering louder. So familiar. So haunting and persuasive. Then he realized why. Whose voice it was. Ruby. Ruby's quiet whispers telling him what he wanted to hear, no matter how untrue.
"This doesn't have to be a bad thing." Lucifer said. "I let Dean live didn't I? I want him to live. - I'll bring your folks back too."
Sam shook his head. Lies. It was all lies.
"I want you to be happy Sam."
"I don't want anything from you." Sam snapped breathlessly.
"Really?" Lucifer scoffed. "Not even a little pay back?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Lucifer turned them, facing away from the mirror. Revealing a circle of people to Sam. Silent and submissively waiting.
"Look closely. None of these little devils look familiar to you?"
Sam stared at them. Hating how many of them he recognised. Swallowing hard. "That's….Mr Ben Smyth. One of my grad school teacher." his stomach lurched again.
"And that's your friend Doug from that time in East Lancing. And Rachel, your prom date."
Sam sucked in a pained breath. All his life he'd been manipulated. All his life no one was who he'd thought they were. Everyone had lied to him.
"Sam Winchester, this is your life. Azazal's gang. Watching you since you were a rug-rat. Chucking you around like you were a dog on a leash. I know how you feel about them. Me too. - So what do you say you and I blow off a little steam?"
It was all too much. Too many lies. Too many people he'd thought he could trust. People he'd cared about. It had been hard enough knowing Brady had been working against him. Using Jessica to control him. Discovering now that there had been others. He'd feared this. The second he'd found out about Brady. Those doubts had settled. - Had Jess been one of them? How would he ever know? If she wasn't already dead, would she be stood with them? It was all too much. Too much betrayal fanning the flames of his anger.
~~~Unrequited Sabriel: Masquerade~~~
Sam staggered backwards, even as his hands continued to rip at the demon in front of him. He could feel the warm blood between his fingers. He closed his eyes. Trying to breath. Gagging slightly on the scent of death and sulphur. Gabriel's words balling with the persuasive whisper of Ruby and Lucifer. Tearing him apart. When he looked back he was staring into his own face.
"So? Are we having fun yet?" Lucifer asked with an arrogant grin.
Sam turned away. Dean was right. He hadn't been strong enough. He couldn't fight this. Closing his eyes, he groaned. The fight seeping out of him.
"Aw Sammy, why so glum?"
In a desperate need to escape the guilt and pain, he reached for comfort. Grappling for something good. Something he could hide behind and found it tucked away in his mind. He probably shouldn't have let himself think about it. Shouldn't have lowered that wall. But he was already lost. He couldn't win this fight. So what did it mater? What could Lucifer do now? "I wasn't using you. That's not what that was about dick-brain. - Think of it as my bucket list."
"Well…" Lucifer frowned. "So, that's why he did it? I never believed all that tripe about fighting for humanity. I thought it was that…woman. I have to admit this I never saw coming. He doesn't seem you type there Sammy. What would Dean say?"
Sam inhaled sharply; an acid like pit rolling in his stomach.
"So maybe I've been going about this all wrong. Maybe it isn't revenge you want." Lucifer huffed, turning them both back to the circle of dead demons.
Sam fought against the bindings that were holding him there. Fought not to let Lucifer any further.
Sam lifted his eyes and inhaled shapely as a figure, familiar and painful to look at stepped out of the shadows. A smirk bright on his face. "Stop." Sam hissed; closing his eyes, knowing it wouldn't stop it.
"Hey Kiddo, nice mess you've gotten yourself into, huh?"
Sam shook his head. He didn't want to hear it. Did want to feel it. He couldn't deal with this right now.
"I'm not surprised he lied to you. Gabriel was always an insecure little angel. Never could quite live up to our father's expectations. Used to follow me around like a little lost sheep. It was kind of pathetic really."
Sam stared at Gabriel, the archangel seemingly unaffected by his brother's heartless words. But then it wasn't Gabriel. Not really. Gabriel was dead.
"But well there's no accounting for taste." Lucifer snarled. "Okay Sammy, so how about if you stop fighting me, if you just surrender and give in, I'll bring him back. I'll let you have what you really want. Deep down. Under all the lies and masks. Dean will never have to know."
Sam shook his head as Gabriel stepped closer, the archangel's hand reaching out to him. Pressing his palm against the hunter's cheek. Only unlike before there was no warmth with that touch. No comfort. When Gabriel shifted closer; lifting his lips to Sam's there was no lingering taste of honey. But there was the memory, and the need to hide. Before he even realized it he was surrendering. It was over anyway. Lucifer had won. He was always going to win.
~~~Unrequited Sabriel: Masquerade~~~
Gabriel's lips crumbled beneath his. Parting to allow Sam to take what he so desperately needed. His tongue sliding against the archangel as he pushed him back against the tin walls of the garage. Gabriel's hands threaded through his hair, tugging roughly on the long strands, causing him to moan.
He gasped for breath the moment Gabriel pulled away, though his mouth wasn't absent for long. Only misplaced. A second later it was pressed firmly against the column of Sam's neck. He curled his fingers into his palms and breathed as Gabriel sank his teeth into his collarbone. The heat and honey so strong. So insistent. He just couldn't hold back any longer. His hands unfurled and gripped the sides of Gabriel's face. Deepening the kiss. Drawing out the passion and need they both shared.
He dropped a single arm to wrap around Gabriel's waist, tugging him forward. The angel's legs opening wider and wrapping around him. Gabriel's arms tight around his neck. Sam lifted the angel from the workbench. Surprised by how light he was. Light as a feather.
Sam carried him a few feet to the hood of the Impala. Laying him down slowly. Their mouth's never parting. Hand grabbed at Sam's shirt, ripping it open and forcing it off his shoulders. He didn't protest, didn't complain. He reached for the fabric and ripped it the rest of the way off his body. Then he reached for Gabriel's wine coloured shirt, tearing it open. Pushing the fabric aside to reveal bare pale flesh. Sam stared down at the expanse of skin for a long moment before leaning forward. Pressing his open mouth to the center of Gabriel's ribcage. His hips rocking forward against the archangel's denim clad rear.
Gabriel moaned as Sam sucked and nipped his way from one nipple to the other, before moving down the archangel's body. His hands preceding him. Tugging at the fastening of his jeans. Gabriel's head rolled back against the polished hood of the Impala as Sam's large strong hand wrapped around his dick. Massaging it in long firm strokes.
Sam was practically on his knees, his mouth hovering inches from the tip of the dick in his hand. He could smell the pre-cum and musk and licked his lips, eager to taste. He dragged his tongue over the head and groaned at the flavour painting his taste buds. He opened his mouth wide, taking all the archangel had in. Savouring the unusual flavour. Gabriel's fingers curled into his hair as he let out a small cry.
Sam sucked and tongued at the member till it grew heavy in his mouth. Till the scent of musk and sweetness was almost suffocating. He drew back with a wet pop and a distressed frustrated moan from Gabriel. Getting to his feet he hovered over the man, dropping to capture the angel's mouth in a deep kiss. Allowing Gabriel to taste himself on his tongue. The sound of a zipper impossibly loud in the silent tin building.
Gabriel gasped at the first press of Sam's spit slicked fingers and Sam grinned into his neck, sucking a dark possessive bruise into the flesh.
"Sam. I'm ready." Gabriel panted into his ear.
Sam doubt the statement but didn't argue. Shifting closer, pulling Gabriel against him. His hand guiding him into the smaller body. The tightness incredible around his dick. The pair groaning in sync. Both feeling how right it was.
Sam clamped a vice grip on Gabriel's hips as he began to thrust into him. Deep. Harsh. The sound of their pants rebounding off the walls. Gabriel's bare back sliding over the Impala with each thrust of Sam hips. The angel's fingers biting deep into the hunter's shoulders. Leaving bruises in their wake.
Sam leant forward to capture Gabriel's lips once more. Biting down on the thin lower one, drawing it away from the man's teeth before letting it go. Gabriel reached down between them, needing to bring himself to orgasm, only to have Sam's large hand clamping around his wrist and forcing it up above his head. The hunter shaking his own in denial. Sam quickened the pace. Thrusting harder. Almost violently in his desire to bring them both to climax.
The voice was distant at first. Far away. A whisper that he wasn't all that sure he was actually hearing till it grew louder, clearer, and Sam could finally make out the words. Pleas. Desperate. Filled with pain and sadness. He fought against the darkness. Clawing his way to the surface as the voice grew and caused his stomach to burn with anger and fear.
The archangel's body exploding first. Trembling beneath him. Sam stared down at him. His vision going white around him.
The first shards of light blinded him. So blinding it made his head hurt. Images flashed through his mind. Dean. The voice was Dean. His brother. His friend. The only person he'd ever truly trusted. Who'd never lied to him, unless it was to protect him. Who'd never manipulated him.
The images faded, along with the light and there he was. Dean, crumpled and bloody against the side of the Impala. Pleading for him to stop. Sam reached out, stopping his own arm in mid air. Ignoring the furious growled and rants of Lucifer as the fallen archangel tried to regain control. But Sam wasn't going to give it up. Not now. He wouldn't fail Dean again. He'd end what he'd started.
"This obsession to save Dean. The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other. Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness and the bad guys know it too. Its going to be the death of you Sam."
Sam smiled inwardly. Dean may be his weakness, but that's what love was. Weakness. It was also the greatest strength. It gave you courage to face your biggest fear. It made it easier to take a leap when it was to protect someone you loved. Something told Sam that in the end Gabriel had understood that.
TO BE CONTINUED
Coming Soon: Dreams Are The Salvation Of A Soul.
As Sam and Dean take on the Leviathan's, Sam struggles to deal with Lucifer's taunting. Unable to distinguish between the real world and his disillusions, Sam finds sanctuary in his dreams with the one person who had always given him protection. When the pressure of holding Lucifer at bay becomes too much and Sam finally breaks, will Gabriel be able to hold him together long enough for Dean to save him?
A/N: I'm terrible with ending as you all know. And this was a doozy. In fact this whole story was a bit of a chore, but I felt it needed to be written. Sam's side needed to be told. Especially as I've got to switch from Gabriel's POV to Sam's in order for the series to continue. As Sam is destine to discover the truth about his son.
For those expecting Sam to discover the truth about Samandriel now, sorry. Not quite yet. But I promise he will find out. And this series just keeps growing because the show keeps running. I can't wait to see season nine. Touch wood the DVD are released over here soon. It's killing me. And I need to try and figure out how all this series of stories is going to be effected.
Anyway. I'm off to work on Dreams Are The Salvation Of The Soul. Hopefully it won't be long before I can post.
As always, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying my little worlds as much as I am. See you again soon.