A/N: This is a real life experience of a love lost, so I decided to write a short one-shot of it. The song that I will write with this story will sum up absolutely everything the two went through.
Summary: How can you make a person love you? That's the point...you can't, Rosalie will find out the hard way. Two worlds clashed together in passion, just to be torn apart by fear. How will Bella react when Rosalie proclaim her love to her? Will Bella give in? or will she walk away from a love that could've been?
Song Choice: Mark Masri-Can't make you love me
November 17, 2013
Seeing her at work was hard.
The short glances and hushed whispers, it was the most sweetest torture I have ever endured. Behind my eyelids, instead of short glances and hushed whispers...were soft whimpers and tear stained eyes as we drowned in each other love making. Moans and whispers of love and passion, we were in love.
So I thought
Sitting here on my lunch break, I worked at a Clothing store in Port Angels. It was a care-free and easy job.
Now it was awkward and tense.
I shut out my family and friends, they don't understand what I was feeling. I wasn't the type to show feelings but when I did...It was real. They never knew of my true form, and I plan on keeping it that way. Watching her walk and talk to others that wasn't me was nerve wrecking, she was avoiding me at all cost. I did contemplate on coming out to my family for her, she gave me strength and hope. Having her in my arms was thee most precious feeling I should have cherished a little bit more. Now I barely can touched her without her blowing up at me. I'm in utter confusion, because I still don't know what I did or what happen to make our perfect relationship...turn into ash right before my eyes. Even while I think about it, tears still find their way into my vision. I can feel her staring at me, hating myself for being so weak while she prances around with not a hurt in the world. Her smile and laughs was like a knife to my heart every time I saw or heard it. Quickly swiping at my eyes and finishing my lunch, I quickly walked over to the trash and dumped my leftovers. My phone suddenly beeped, I fished inside my back pocket and saw I had a message.
Are you okay? -Bella
Rage boiled quickly, how dare she ask that after everything that has happened! Was she blind? Does she not see how broken I am?
No I am not okay...far from it
I typed back with anger and hurt, it seems my eyes were going to stay clouded with tears today so I stop worrying about wiping them away. She should see the hurt and destroyed person she created. For two years, I have pledge my love and loyalty to her. Now that I think about...not once has she actually said the words to me directly. She was good at showing emotions during sex but never did she utter those three words to me. Two years of me being so fucking blissfully blinded that I didn't even witness her pulling away from me.
What did I do wrong?
Shaking the ill thoughts from my head, I walked back inside towards my cash register praying I get through this day without breaking into sobs. She was two registries down from me, it was a shock to even see her at work today. She personally asked our boss for late shifts so she wouldn't run into me in the mornings, how pathetic is that! She don't even want to work with me no more. My phone beeped again, I decided to not look at it. The day went by slow and boring. When I got home, I finally laid down and looked at the texts I received today.
Bitch where are you! -Leah
I smirked, my best friend who I hate slash love...she was annoying because she was so much like me.
Hey Rosie, call me I miss you -Alice
My brother's girlfriend was a piece of work, so hyper and happy.
Call me -Bella
Sucking in a breath, I read the text again.
Was she for real?
My phone suddenly lit up, in surprised I dropped it as it bounced off the bed and to the floor. Cursing as I reach down and grabbed it, I saw her name across my screen.
"Fuck!" I whispered to myself, closing my eyes willing myself to not answer it...she is only going to hurt you more! Don-
Hearing her voice so close to my ear was making my body react, it was embarrassing actually.
Umm hey...I was just calling to check on you. I saw that you were upset earlier
It's been four months since I talked to her, she ignored me for four months and now she decided to call me! The fucking nerve!
What do you want?
My voice was harsh because of the forming lump that was in my throat at hearing her voice, so sweet and angelic. Why did she have to do me like this!
I...I...I really don't know what I want. I miss you
God! her voice sounds so hurt...
I started to stutter as the tears weld in my eyes, how can she miss me when she made it her mission to ignore everything that associate itself with me.
Please can I come over...I think we ned to talk
I found myself crying out to her, she quickly hung up and I laid back on my bed. What did I just do! This girl...this beautiful girl has broken my heart too many times and yet here I was again falling into her trap.
I jumped up and started to clean my room, taking a rush shower and doing my make up...I felt betrayed by my heart. It was my heart that wanted to see her but my mind was screaming me to text her to forget about it and don't come.
But it was too late...
The door bell rung.
Those three words made me move a little faster than usual, grabbing a night bag and some clothes, I saw my brother standing in my doorway.
"Where you going?" he asked stuffing a spoon of cereal in his mouth.
"Rose house for a bit" He looked shocked but quickly recovered
"Ummm I thought you was done with that, it's hard seeing the poor girl so distraught over your skinny ass" He laughed, I glared at him and pushed his bowl too hard against his chest as his milk splashed all over him.
"Stop being an ass all the time Emmett"
"Pot calling the kettle!" He yelled walking away from my door, I quickly snatched up my keys and drove the five minute drive towards her house. Pulling up to her apartment, I slammed my door and made my way to her door. I rung the door bell once...that was all I needed before the door swung open. She looked lifeless, but still beautiful.
I made her that way
"H...Hey" She stuttered quietly, I let myself in and dropped my bag against the floor by the table. She looked at me and then at my bag, I flopped down on the couch and closed my eyes.
"You said we need to talk...so talk" She said rushed, I can see that she was nervous and scared. I let my head hang off the couch arm and looked at her, fuck! I was about to break her heart all over again.
"There was a reason why I stop talking to you, but first before we get into that...I'm hungry do you have anything to eat?" She quickly rushed into the kitchen, she was always so intune to what I wanted...So eager to please me.
"I have pizza from last night...is that good?" I walked into the kitchen and smiled.
"Yes" She heated it up and I quickly swallowed it whole, she was staring at me like I was the sun to her moon. This girl really love me.
"Can we go to your bedroom and talked?" I asked, she bit her lip debating on if that was a good idea. I knew it wasn't but I needed to feel her for this one last time, she never could say no to me.
" I won't try anything...just want to talked" She nodded her head and walked us down the hall to her bedroom. It was still the same, everything smelt like her and I knew right then...,I lied to her in the kitchen. She sat down on her bed and gesture me to sit in her rocking chair by the window...away from her.
"So what is it you have to talk to me about after four months of no contact?" She said angry, I sighed...this wasn't going to be easy. I looked into her blue eyes and for the first time since we been together...I felt tears in my eyes.
My knees were jumping, I was nervous as hell...she was in my room! My fucking room and I was already on the bed. It could just be this one time that I could tell her how much I love her and show her that she was my world. She could have everything...my mind, my body, my soul if she just give me the chance to. I folded my legs under me and spoke.
"So what is it you have to talk to me about after four months of no contact?" I asked, she looked up at me and for the first time ever...I saw tears in her eyes.
"First off I want to say how sorry I am. I am a very fucked up individual for putting you in so much pain, I knew how serious your feelings were but yet I still fed you all of this bullshit of us being together forever and loving each other...knowing full well that wasn't the case" I covered my ears and jumped off my bed, I didn't want to hear this. She rushed at me and touched my arm. I swear to fucking God my whole body melted and stumbled into her, I was like a fish out the water, desperate for another touch. She grabbed my waist and pulled me into her, feeling her so close I slowly wrapped my arms around her neck and cried. Four months of pent up tears fell like water down my face.
"I'm so sorry I did this to you...I'm a bitch with no regards to other people feelings and I took advantage of your love for me" She whispered in my ear.
"S...s...so you never even lo-
I couldn't even get it out, She moved us to my bed and hovered over me. I covered my eyes with my arm, she slowly moved it to see my eyes.
" Please open those eyes for me" She mumbled caressing my cheek, I looked up at her.
"I do love you Rosalie...but I am n-
I crashed my lips to hers...that was all I wanted to hear, I started to grab at her shirt forcefully so she could take it off. I wrapped my legs around her and grind up into her, before I knew it we both was naked.
My head was screaming at me but my heart was silent.
I knew it was wrong, I knew I was just asking for more hurt but hell if I could tell her no. She had a power over me that was too strong even for me to try to break. Sweat and tears were the only thing between us, her tongue was caressing every part of my body it could find.
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
"Please...make love to me" I quietly cried into her heated kiss, she was slowly grinding her body against me. I could feel how different her moves was, she wasn't as soft like she always was before. It was like she was trying too hard to make love to me and that made me cry even harder.
'Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't
I let myself drown in everything that was Bella, her taste, her skin and her whispers. She softly whispered how I was everything she didn't deserved as she entered me fully. Her fingers making itself home inside of me, she was shaking and crying. Her touch was so hot and almost boiling hot, every scratch I gave she took. Licking and sucking, I couldn't take it any longer.
"Oh god I love you...I love you" I mumbled into her neck as my tears fell between us as she took me over the edge...
Here in the dark
In these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And feel the power
If you won't
No you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
The morning came too soon, Bright lights shining through my blinds...I smiled at last night events. Rolling over and opening my eyes, my smile dropped right alone with my heart.
She was gone
I rushed to the bathroom, then the kitchen and back to my room. The pain in my chest was far worse than before. I picked my phone up and saw I had one voicemail. I put the phone on speaker and curled up into fetus position...Her voice filled my room.
You deserve better than me, I can't love you because I don't even love myself. I would think the devil has a speical spot for me in hell for doing what I did to you. I took full advantage of you, not to mention you were young and gullible to me. I wanted to feel love, I wanted to feel waiting on hand and foot and you did that and I sort of got bored of always knowing that you was always there. I didn't need to fear that you were going to leave because I knew I had you. I care for you a lot but I couldn't keep stringing you along like I was, and yes I am a totally ass for sleeping with you last night but I was selfish and wanted to feel you one last time. I am moving to Atlanta Rosalie. That why I have been pulling away and ignoring you for so long, I need a new start...a new life. You were too pure and beautiful and I was just a fucked up person who took it and tainted it. I hope you find love and happiness...something I couldn't give you...because I didn't have it to begin with. I will miss you and I love you.
My breath was the only thing you could hear, my heart beat slowed as I sucked in a breath. still naked and lying across my bed...I looked up at my ceiling. My sheets smelled like her, burying my nose into them...I let the sob take over...
I'll close my eyes
Than I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come
And I'll do what't right
Just give me til then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't
After hours of letting everything out...I got up and took a shower.
Because of Isabella Swan...Rosalie Hale's heart will never be the same.
Damn that was some sad shit. So much emotions that was buried was dug up to write this story. Let's just say Rosalie is still trying to heal.
Thanks for reading...