Title:  Anything But Ordinary

Author:  Star

Rating:  PG-13

Dedication:  Vic, without you I'd never have seen Taz and Charlie to be such a great combination.  She's all wrong for Fulton, Limpet was wrong!  Then again, Taz has really come out of her shell since then!

Feedback:  Hit me!  Go on!  I love it!

Disclaimer:  Disney et all still own 'em.  *sigh*  Taz, aka Purple Girl belongs to me and Maya belongs to Victory Thru Tears, but I think everyone knows that by now!

Distribution:  Our site, Queertet which can be found at http://www.queertet.com/ Anyone else:  Want.  Ask.  Take.  Have.  We'd be beyond thrilled.  By the way, we also have a Ducks List, to join, just go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MightyDucksMovies/

Summary:  In Snow, Adam said to Charlie about Taz, "In a parallel universe, she's your wife."  Wanna take a look at that parallel universe?

Notes:  This is sort of set in Victory's 'Something Quite Special' universe.  Basically, she wrote an amazing story and I'm plagiarising it.  *winks at Vic*  Sorry, babe.  Essentially, Adam and Maya are dating, Charlie's still with Linda, but for how long?

Part 1 ~ Piffling Gremlins

Charlie's POV

      As I walk with Maya and Adam I have to wonder what the hell I'm doing here.  I could be spending the day with Linda.

      Ah-ha!  That's why I'm here.

      I had only two very unappealing options.  Go with Adam and Maya to the mall and catch a movie, or spend time with Linda.

      It's not that I don't like her.  I did at some point, but recently she's driving me up the wall, making snide comments about the rest of the Ducks, and being so pro-this and anti-that that we never get time to have a conversation.  It's getting to the point where I just can't be bothered.

      "Maybellina-marna!"  I hear a distinctly Irish voice yell loudly.

      "Tazmania!"  Maya responds equally loudly.

      "Oh god, it's a female Averman."  Adam mutters.

      I note the source of the first voice, a tiny girl with bright purple hair is standing on a bench waving madly.  She's even smaller than Maya.  I check Adam's reaction, he look surprised too.

      Maya dashes towards the purple haired girl and embraces her tightly.  The purple girl is gabbling at the top of her lungs.

      As Adam and I approach I hear Maya say, "English, Taz.  Speak English."

      "Sorry!"  She grins back.  I notice that her eyes are purple too.  Contacts, surely.  No-one has purple eyes.  "I'm just so happy to see you."

      Adam clears his throat, reminding Maya that the two of us still exist.

      "Oooh!"  Purple Girl's eyes light up.  "This must be Boyfriend!  Or Boyfriends.  Which one belongs to you… or is this a very disturbing ménage a trois?"

      I have to laugh.  This girl is insane.

      "Taz, honey."  Maya loops an arm around her.  "How much soda have you had?"

      "Just three cans.  And some of those yummy sherbet dabs."  She answers promptly.

      Maya sighs.  "Great.  Sugar-highed."  She says with a fixed grin.  "Anyway, this," she gestures to Adam.  "Is my boyfriend, Adam.  The other guy is Charlie, his best friend.  Guys, this is my friend, Taz.  She's the one who drew that picture I have on my wall."  She adds to Adam.  Having never been in Maya's room I have no idea what she's talking about.

      Taz bounds over to me and shakes my hand vigorously.  "Nice to meet you, Charles."

      "Charlie."  I correct.  I hate it when people call me Charles.

      "That's what I said, Charles."  She grins big.  I wonder if anyone would mind if I killed her.

      "What's Taz short for?"  I ask her.

      "Tazmanian Devil."  She answers.  I've only known her a few minutes, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's the truth.

      "Taryn Anne McDonald."  Maya supplies.

      Taz looks mildly annoyed.  "Hey, Maya, best friend here!  I'm your oldest and bestest friend in the world… except for those ten or twenty people who've known you longer and better."

      Maya grins back at her.  "If you want to torment Charlie, that's fine, but I have to give him a little ammunition so he can defend himself."

      I give Adam and evil look, and wonder idly if this is some form of payback for being nasty to him when he made Varsity.

      Taz turns her attention to him, and he looks alarmed.  She interrogates him sternly, making sure he's good enough for Maya for a few minutes, until Maya very firmly tells her to hush.

      "So what movie are we seeing?"  Maya asks a subdued Taz.

      Taz shrugs.

      "You didn't think to pick up a listing?"

      "Why bother?  We can just go to the cinema and find out what's on there."  Taz replies, perking up once more.  "I vote for Ice Age."

      "Taz, I saw that last week with Adam."  Maya tells her as we all start to walk.

      "You didn't tell me that there would be a lunatic here."  I say to Adam in a low voice.

      He looks slightly guilty.  "I knew that Maya was meeting an old friend, I didn't realise that her friend was on day release."

      "I heard that!"  Taz says over her shoulder, she doesn't look even remotely offended.  In fact she looks amused.  Linda would never see the funny side of that.

      "Sorry."  I say.

      She shrugs indifferently.  "I'll take it as a compliment."

      She can't be from this planet.  Adam and I have just insulted a girl we've known only five minutes, and she's pleased?

      Once we arrive at the cinema a heated debate breaks out.  Taz is firmly ensconced in the Ice Age corner, while Adam and Maya are desperate to see Panic Room.  I haven't seen either.  Taz speaks up saying that she'll see Ice Age by herself if the three of us want to check out the other one.

      Now this puts me in a bind.  Do I want to be third wheel with the happy couple or do I want to see a kids flick with a lunatic?  Who knows what she'll get up to.

      "I'm about to buy my ticket."  Taz threatens.  "Last chance to change your minds.  You know you want to see it!"

      "I'll go with you."  I say.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe it's because she's so tiny and I don't like the idea of her going anywhere by herself.

      She gives me a thousand watt smile, it lights up her whole face.  She's a very pretty girl.

      "I'll get the tickets."  She decides.  "You can get the munchies.  I'm allergic to touching popcorn, so unless you're willing to feed it to me, that's out.  And don't get me soda, it makes me hyper.  Juice is good, but I like it watered down.  80% ice, 15% water and 5% juice."

      Suddenly I regret my decision, but it's too late now because she's bounding over to the vendor.

      Maya smiles and touches my arm.  "Get her Milk Duds, any type of juice is fine as long as there's plenty of ice.  And don't worry, she'll quiet down once the film starts, you won't even know she's there.  And even if she doesn't, just tell her to hush and she will."

      Why do I feel like I've been left babysitting a complete terror, and the smug mother is giving me last minute instructions before making a break for peace and quiet?

      I glare at her and my supposed best friend.  "Any other rules or advice?  Does she turn into a monster if you feed her after midnight?"  I ask sarcastically.  Lunatic Taz might be, but she's neither a child or my responsibility.

      The look on Maya's face lets me know that, for the first time in her life, Taz has made a quiet entrance.

      "Now you've done it."  Maya mutters.

      I whirl round, all set to make yet another hasty apology.  Instead of the hurt expression I'm expecting, Taz's face is showing pure joy.

      "You're a Gremlins fan too?"  She asks excitedly.  I am, it's my favourite movie to watch at Christmas."  She then launches into a quick skit highlighting the funniest moments of the movie.  You wouldn't think this tiny perky Irish girl could make Gremlin sounds but she can.  She even makes her ears wiggle for the Snow White part of it.

      I'm laughing so hard that I barely notice Adam and Maya making their exits.

      People are staring at Taz, but she doesn't care.  Linda hates calling attention to herself when she's having fun.  Maybe it's because fun is a rare event for Linda and she's somewhat concerned she's not doing it right.

      Taz has no such qualms, and continues her manic babble as we queue for drinks (juice, lots of ice – no soda), and Milk Duds (I'm not hand feeding her popcorn, although part of me really wants to know how you can be allergic to touching it, but not eating it and what exactly the reaction would be if she touched it).

      "Come on, Gremlin."  I take her elbow and lead her towards the screen showing Ice Age.  Once we cross the threshold she shuts up immediately.  You'd have thought that when someone is babbling as much as her they'd need time to wind down.  She's a highly intriguing girl, if somewhat irritating.

      "Don't let me fall over."  She whispers to me, taking my arm to steady herself.

      I give her a bemused look.  What does she mean?

      "Those lines of lights."  She points to the subtle strip lights on the floor.  "They make me lose my balance.  I really want some for my house though."

      I grin and hold on to her.

      We find our seats and only have to climb over three people to reach them, which is my definition of a very easy time.

      When the movie starts Taz becomes completely immersed in the story, I myself am not entirely uninvolved, but I find myself sneaking glances at her at regular intervals.  Her eyes never leave the screen, or if they do, I don't see.

      She's completely oblivious to me – the rest of the world even.  I'm stunned to see her get sniffly at the emotional part of the film.

      Linda would never do that.  Then again, Linda would never watch Ice Age, because 'filmmakers today seem to change history to suit themselves and their budgets.  It's morally wrong to fill the heads of children with such piffle'.  That's a direct quote.  And yes, she really did use the word 'piffle'.

      When the film ends and the lights come on Taz looks visibly startled, as if she couldn't quite remember how she got here.

      "You ok, Gremlin?"  I ask her.

      She nods and gets up.  I have to offer my arm again, a Taz is obviously not designed for staying still for longer than ten minutes and she's going to be like a coiled spring when she gets outside.  I don't know how I know this, I just do.