Title: Ice Cream
Author: silverthorned
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, creator. I do not own the
Energizer bunny.
Category: Buffy/Spike
Summary: The impact and value of three words.


"Your love is better than ice cream, better than anything else
that I've tried...."
"Ice Cream" Sarah McLachlan


He's watching me. I don't even have to look up to know that. I
do anyway and catch him and the look in his eyes steals my
breath. I try hard to ignore the giddy feeling it gives me and
glibly ask, "Why don't you get one, Spike?"

I eat another spoonful and watch him. If I didn't know better
I'd think he was nervous, bouncing his leg up and down, all
hobby-horsey. He has all this energy that never quits, the
Energizer bunny, indeed.

It takes him a long time to answer such a simple question and he
looks at the Baskin-Robbins girl, sidelong, as if he wishes she
weren't there, and then back to me. I raise my eyebrows and
slowly withdraw the pink plastic spoon from my mouth.

He leans closer and whispers, "Not in the mood for it, Buffy."

My eyes are filled with his face, he's so close to me. I look
down at my ice cream, dip the spoon in and lift it to his mouth.
All my focus narrows to his lips and the way they close in on and
drag away from the spoon. Such a short distance from my mouth....

I swallow, hard and dry, and shut my eyes. I feel his cold, colder
from the ice, mouth touch mine, just a flutter touch, a butterfly
wing's soft whisper and I hear him say softly, "I love you."

And suddenly I'm crying, great big tears rolling down my face,
struggling for huge gasps of air. I don't care that the girl
behind the counter is gawking at us, I can't register much
anyway, but I see him, his blue eyes get all wide and worried,
and for his sake I control myself.

He asks, "Are you all right?"

I bite my lip to keep from bursting out again and say, "Let's

I hurry out of the store and hope he doesn't think I'm leaving
him behind. He has no trouble keeping up with me, though. I
slow down and he walks silently beside me. I stop moving and
face him.

My voice trembles, as I ask, "Do I say it enough, Spike?"

I can tell he knows, immediately, like he always does, what I
mean. He's never been able to hide his emotions and I watch a
combination of uncertainty and confusion work its way out.

He takes a quick unnecessary breath and then asks, "Do you want
the truth?"

"Always, Spike, always." Whatever it is, I'm determined to hear

He says, "You could never say it enough to make up for more than
a hundred and twenty years without."

The tears prick at my eyes, and my throat feels clogged. I say,
"I wish I could, William. I'll say it more. I'll say it until
you can't hear it anymore. I'll say it because I mean it. I
want you to know your love is the best thing that's ever happened
to me, and my feelings are so far away from what they were." My
breath hitches, but I press on, "I don't deserve you."

He steps closer.

"But you have me."

"I know."

I look down at the concrete sidewalk and absently note that I'm
standing on a crack. He puts his hand on my shoulder and slides
it down to my hand. He holds it gently and then raises it to his
lips and kisses it. He lets it go and wipes my tears.

All I can do is look at him and all I see is love.

He gazes back at me and ventures, "All right, now?"


We walk in silence, holding hands.

I say it, because I mean it, "I love you, Spike. I love you."

He says, "I know."