disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
warning: slash, mpreg, violence
Another story I have started. Unlike 'Going Beyond The Impossible' this story will not have regular updates.
Summary: Unable to face the pain of the aftermath of the war, Harry leaves the world he saved for the muggle one. Years after, an event brings back the Boy Who Lived and his family to the world he left behind. Will he ever find peace again?
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He mumbled as he leaned over the edge of the railing. If he did this, then it would make up for it. He would be absolved of his crimes. He would no longer have to look at the ever increasing list of people he had killed. He would no longer have to see the accusations in people's eyes when came to him. He should of died all those years ago, so this would never had to have happened. He looked up at sky, black and empty. That was how he felt and that was what the sky reflected back. Up there no one could live, it sucked the air from your lungs and killed you. It was cold and deadly, just like him. As he continued looking up to the sky, there was one light. One light that seemed to cripple him. One light that was the worst to accuse him than the never ending list of lives lost.
"What do you want from me?!" He shouted at the light. "I tried everything I could to end it sooner. But it was never enough! I will never be good enough to bare this name. I was constantly a burden. But I refuse to be one any longer! I can't stay here anymore! Don't you understand?!"
That infernal light just kept flickering, teasing him. He turned around in disgust. Mostly just at himself. The tears he had refused himself from falling suddenly came. Without any warning. They burned his eyes, and his throat became raw with emotion, and his chest squeezed so tightly he forgot how to breath. He fell to the ground as a scream was ripped from him. He pounded his fists against the floor. Not noticing how they cracked open and bled, or how the bones seemed to be cracking under the pressure. Much like his heart.
"Come away with me?" He paused when he heard the voice. It had cut through the haze that his mind had become. Sobs still wracked his body, but he looked up to where the voice had come from. There in the shadow was a tall figure. As the man walked into the accusing light of that single star, his eye's widened at who it was that offered him a way to escape.
"I have some idea of what you're feeling. We can leave. We can leave and never come back," the man said as he stretched his hand towards him. He looked at the hand cautiously.
"But don't you hate me?" he asked. How could he run away with someone who hated him. Sure he played the role of hating this man, but it was never true. He was infatuated with this man, but no one ever knew.
"How could I ever hate you? I've nearly fallen in love with you?" He stared up at the man before him. Did he really love him? Like he realized he was falling for the man as well? He cleaned off his face with his sleeve, hoping he did not look too terrible. He looked up at the man once again with a forlorn expression on his face when he heard him laughing. "Don't worry. You still look amazing. So will you come?"
"Yeah, Malfoy. I'll come," He took the man's hand and allowed himself to be pulled up off the floor. He winced at the pain in his hand. He was shocked when the man waved his wand and healed the self-inflicted injuries.
"Call me Draco, please Harry."
The next morning Harry woke up with the sun in his eyes. Apparently he forgot to close the drapes before falling asleep. Harry decided to get up and take a shower, there was no way he would be able to go back to sleep. But when he went to move, he noticed a heavy weight around his waist. He looked down and gave a very unmanly squeak when he saw an arm draped over him. His eyes followed that arm up to a body. He fell off the bed as he scrambled away from who he apparently was in bed with. Then the memories from last night returned.
Him and Malfoy- Draco- left Hogwarts in the middle of the night and got a room at the Leaky Cauldron until this morning. Then they had planned to go to Gringotts and pull out enough of their money to last a few years and also get one of those muggle credit cards for when the money ran out. They had hoped that the goblins could ensure that the cards were untraceable. They only needed the pocket money to cover their tracks from any large purchases. From Gringotts, they would do some clothes shopping and potions supplies before they headed to the main-land and disappearing into the muggle world.
"Potter!" Draco groaned. He leaned over the side of the bed to look at Harry, who was still sprawled on the floor. "What was with the rude awakening?"
"Sorry," Harry said, looking down at the floor. "I forgot where I was and got scared when I saw you lying next to me. I'm going to take a shower quick."
Draco sighed. He should have expected something like this from Harry. He watched as Harry quickly got up and almost ran to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly. Draco decided they could do with a bit of breakfast, so he walked over to the bathroom door and knocked. "Harry, I'm going to order some food. Would you like anything?"
"Um, just some toast and juice please?" came the uncertain response. As if Harry did not believe that Draco would offer him food. Draco went to the fireplace to place the food order, but he ordered enough for each to have a full breakfast with coffee and juice. That way if Harry wanted more, he would have it. Draco sat on the bed and ran his hands through his hair as he thought over what they had to do today. Should they inform at least one person to keep in contact, to keep tabs on the world they were leaving behind? He only trusted a handful of people and he not sure if Harry wanted anyone knowing what they were doing. The food arrived just as Harry came out of the shower.
"Food's here. I figured you are probably hungrier than what you implied, so I ordered you a full breakfast," Draco said as he looked over at Harry. His throat went dry as he saw the flush that covered Harry's face from the heat of the shower and as he watched a drop of water roll down Harry's skin to the collar of his shirt. He looked away and began to fix himself a cup of coffee. "Harry, I was wondering about something that I need your opinion on."
"Okay?" Harry said, but it came out as a question. He eyed the platter of food that was meant as his and he picked up a piece of fruit and bit into it, moaning at the taste. He quickly devoured the fruit before picking at some toast.
"I am wondering if we should at least inform one person of our plans. They can keep tabs on the world here, so if something happens and we have to come back, we know about it. I only trust a very small amount of people, do you know of anyone?"
Harry thought about it. It would make sense to have someone here who knew about them. He ran through all of the people he knew and wondered who he could trust to keep his secret and would not try to stop him. It ruled out the Weasleys and Hermione. He did not want any of the professors to know about him leaving either. There was only one person he trusted. "There's only one I can think of. Andromeda Tonks."
"My aunt? Why?" He had never met the woman, but he knew of her.
"She's the only one I trust to not tell anyone what happened to us, nor will she try to stop me. Plus I'm her grandson's godfather. It puts me in her favor already."
"Do you want to write a letter or stop by her home to tell her. You can see your godson before we leave," Harry had a godson? It was odd to think that their old professor would name Harry as his son's godfather.
"If we could?"
"Sure. We'll do what we need to here in Diagon before leaving for her home."
Harry and Draco walked up to a large Victorian house. Harry had to hold Draco's hand to get him through the wards. Harry cringed when he knocked and he heard a baby cry. There as some movements coming from inside before a woman who looked like a sane Bellatrix opened the door.
"Harry! What are you doing here? Come in, come in," She stood to the side to allow Harry and Draco through the door. "And it seems you've brought my nephew. Good afternoon Draco."
"Hello, Ma'am," Draco bowed politely before turning to watch Harry pick up a baby that turned his hair to the black mess that was Harry's, making him laugh. It would seem that this was his cousin's baby and had inherited her abilities.
"Oh, please Draco. We are family, you can call me Aunt Andromeda or any form of my name. Harry likes to call me Aunt Andy," Andromeda said before walking to sit beside Harry on the sofa. Draco sat down on a chair opposite of the Harry and his aunt.
"Andy, we have something to tell you and we need you to keep it a secret," Harry started without looking at Andromeda. He continued to play with his godson, not sure when the next time he would be able to see him would be.
"And what is that dear?" She asked looking between the two men before her. They looked tired, impossibly so. Harry the most. She knew the war had taken its toll on everyone, but it was obvious no one had bothered trying to help Harry the most. But she watched the way Draco watched Harry and knew they would heal together. She saw Harry look up at Draco and some form of communication seemed to pass between the two.
"We plan to leave. We are going to the mainland, most likely France and living as muggles. We need to escape from this world for awhile. But we thought it might be a good idea for someone to at least know of our plans and to contact us if there is ever a need to bring us back.
"Harry said you were the only one he trusted, plus his godson will be with you. If we can, we will try to visit so he knows Harry," Draco pointed to where Harry was holding the baby. Harry looked up and smiled at Draco before looking at Andromeda to gauge her reaction.
"Are you sure about this Harry?" She could not believe it. Were things that difficult for Harry that he needed to leave? Andromeda was honored that they would come to her to keep their secret.
"Draco, could you take Teddy into the other room please?" Harry said turning to Draco and holding out his godson. Draco nodded, but looked scared to take the baby. He did it though and Harry gave him a few toys to keep Teddy occupied. After Draco left, Harry turned to Andromeda.
"Andy, I can't stay here. The people," he trailed off as teas prickled his eyes. "The people blame me for everything. They say it was all my fault. They say I needed to do more, but what more could I have done? I lost my parents, so many people I loved, and I even died," Harry broke down and began to cry. Andromeda pulled Harry into a hug while he pressed his face into her shoulder
"Harry, I know you're upset. Everyone is and they just need someone to blame because they realized their mistake in letting a child fight their war. Voldemort is no longer around to blame anymore, nor is Dumbledore. And you did everything you could do. Just know that I will never blame you for what has happened and neither will Draco," Andromeda lifted Harry's head. "I have a portkey that leads to a small restaurant in France that Ted and I have gone to. I will give you that so it will not raise questions. Go to France and live your life. Its what you deserve and more. Now go save my nephew and send him in, I wish to talk to him."
Harry sniffled and nodded before getting up. He walked in the direction that Draco headed towards. He found Draco on the floor, sitting cross-legged and holding Teddy in his lap as they played with the toys Harry handed him. It was an adorable sight and Harry thought for a moment that maybe they could make it happen in the future. He quickly shook his head from those thoughts, he and Draco were not even together. He walked into the room and Draco looked up.
"She wants to talk to you now," Draco nodded and stood up with Teddy in his arms before passing the baby to Harry. Draco looked at Harry and could tell he had been crying. As Harry was walking to the small gathering of toys, Draco put a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Are you alright?" Draco looked into Harry's eyes and there was the beginning to the sadness he saw last night on the tower.
"Yeah, everything is fine," Harry smiled at Draco. He knew it was evident he had been crying. Harry held his breath as Draco moved his hand up to cup Harry's cheek before walking out of the room.
"Andromeda?" Draco called as he walked back into the sitting room. Andromeda was standing by the fireplace with her back turned to him.
"Have a seat Draco," she said before turning around and sitting next to him. "I already told Harry, but this is a portkey that will take you to a small restaurant in a muggle town in France," she handed Draco a small pocket watch. "We've always had this and used it a few times so there is no worry about someone tracking a sudden international portkey to you. Keep it and whenever you wish to visit, use it."
"Thank you so much. This will mean the world to Harry," Draco said as he put the watch into his pocket.
"No Draco. You will mean the world to Harry. You two already have a connection and you're the only one who can help him heal. Take care of him please."
"Of course I will."
"Good. Then let's get you two going," Andromeda said before standing up and going to the room Harry and Teddy were. Harry looked up as they walked in. He quickly got up and hugged Andromeda before handing over the baby. "Time to go Harry."
"I will come to see Teddy when I can," Harry said before moving to Draco's side. Draco pulled out the watch Andromeda had given him and said the inscription before it felt like they were being pulled through a small tube.
A/N: The star this story references is of course Sirius. I hope this story interests you all and I hope to have an update up within a month, but I can't make any promises. As Always R&R