After reading the latest Naruto chapter, I got this idea that just wouldn't leave me alone... enjoy.
The many puppets of Naruto
The final battle had started. Naruto and Sasuke were facing Tobi, the one responsible for all their misery. "You killed my father!" Naruto shouted. "You manipulated Nagato and Akatsuki! Prepare to die!"
"That's for planning my clan's destruction, bastard," Sasuke whispered, readying his sword. "And for planning Itachi's death!"
"Die you little-" Tobi suddenly fell to the ground, as Madara Uchiha backstabbed him.
"The hell?" Naruto asked.
"Tobi was but a puppet of mine," Madara gloated, "All for the sake of my Moon's Eye Plan! I am the true mastermind!"
"Madara, you are such a fool," Indra's ghost said, stabbing Madara in the back, "You were but a puppet of my chakra. It is I that-"
Black Zetsu exorcised Indra before he could finish his sentence. "You fool, I am the one who manipulated the Uchiha for eons!"
"Wait a second," Naruto cut in, "Why did you do it?"
"Because I planned for this all along," Kaguya proclaimed, as she stabbed Zetsu in the back.
"Who is this woman?" Sasuke asked, confused.
"I think that's the dead girl introduced forty chapters ago…" Naruto replied.
"Wait, so the villain we fought for what, half the story, has been upstaged by a never seen before villain introduced in the final arc?" Sasuke asked. "The fuck?"
"Yeah, I feel like watching an episode of Lost too…"
"Whatever. Let's kick her ass and-"
"That's for taking my chakra, bitch!" The World Tree roared, beating up Kaguya with its giant roots. "All of this shit was part of my plan to take it back and save the world from global warming!"
"Wait," Sasuke said, his eyes widening in shock, "The mastermind is a tree?"
"Have you forgotten me, Sasuke?" Orochimaru cut in, slaughtering the World Tree with the Kusanagi. "I let Kaguya's plans proceed so I could take over the world!"
"Sasuke, could you explain me the hell is going on?"
"I'm as lost as you, Naruto," Sasuke admitted, "They're betraying each others faster than I can understand their evil plans."
"Sorry, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said, backstabbing his master, "My plan has gone without a hitch, thanks to you."
"That's because I planned it all along!" Black Zetsu growled, beating up Kabuto. "I let you discover Madara's corpse for my plans!"
Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a silent glance. "You know, maybe we should let them alone?" the blonde suggested. "They're doing a fine job at taking each others out on their own."
"Wait a second," Tobi cut in, "Zetsu, why the hell did you organize the Uchiha-Senju feud?"
"So I could recreate the Rinnegan with their DNA and bring back my mother. Who's also a tree."
"... and how could that be achieved by having them slaughter each others?" Tobi pointed out. "What if one group had exterminated the other? Why not having them marry and produce a Rinnegan baby? Or why not steal some of their DNA eons ago before Madara did it?"
"Because I'm…" Black Zetsu was at loss of words. "Because…"
"Because the fact he's my son," Kaguya said, "Doesn't mean he's smart."
"Hey, I've no lesson to take from a mutant Bulbasaur!"
"Somebody has mommy issues," Naruto noted.
"Madara!" Tobi snarled. "How dare you backstab me, when I was in the middle of backstabbing you?"
"It doesn't matter, everything was part of my plan!" Madara declared.
"Hell no," Tobi said, "I manipulated you, hijacked your plan, and betrayed you."
"Yes, but I out-betrayed you," Madara smirked, "In fact, it is I who manipulated Kiri and Rin, to turn you into my puppet!"
"Wait, how could you do that from a cave?" Orochimaru asked. "While on life support?"
"Sharinghax, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto explained.
"That doesn't make any sense, I was the one manipulating Kiri!" Tobi complained. "Kisame's flashback proved it!"
"Yes, but I was manipulating Kiri before you did!" Madara replied.
"And… why did you have the Three-Tails sealed inside Rin, instead of inside the Demonic Statue?" Sasuke asked. "You could seal the Seven-Tails before it, so… why didn't you seal it in the Demonic Statue when you had it at your mercy?"
"Yeah, you could simply have Rin killed by Kiri-nins in battle," Orochimaru pointed out, "Instead of wasting time waiting for that turtle to return years later and be recaptured. That plot literally had no purpose."
"I…" Madara frowned. "I wanted Rin to destroy Konoha as back-up!"
"So you turned a student of Minato Namikaze, the greatest sealmaster the world has ever known, into a Jinchuuriki?" Orochimaru asked. "How could you think it would work?"
"And why did you give the Rinnegan to Nagato instead of a loyal Zetsu?" Sasuke asked. "I mean, if you wanted to be reborn, you could simply have given it to a loyal underling. Nagato didn't even know Tobi wasn't you! And why didn't you have Tobi teleport and kidnap Jinchuuriki back when they were asleep or babies, instead of creating an army of unreliable missing-ninjas?"
"Because…" Madara glared at Black Zetsu. "Because you manipulated me into doing it!"
"What? Hell no! I'm not that stupid! That was your doing!" Black Zetsu snarled. "You could have brainwashed Tobi like you brainwashed everybody else and none of this mess would have happened!"
"Guys," Kaguya cut in, "Can't we just agree I'm the one behind everything?"
"You were dead for eons, how could you possibly be behind everything?" Orochimaru asked.
"Yeah, the day I accept a rabbit alien woman manipulated me is the day I kiss Hashirama's foot," Madara growled, the villains entering a violent argument over who was the main bad guy.
Sasuke sheathed his blade, attracting Naruto's attention. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going home. Wanna come along?"
"No, I want to know who was behind the death of Neji's dad, since apparently someone is behind everything that ever happened."
"Hizashi…" Madara trailed. "I think it was Black Zetsu too."
"Perhaps," Black Zetsu admitted, "I manipulated Hamura's descendants into creating the Main and Branch division, but Hizashi…"
"What?" Naruto blinked. "Why did you create the Branch?"
"Because I'm an evil tree bastard."
"And do you know why you're evil?" Madara smirked. "Because I planned it!"
"But I planned for you to be evil first," Black Zetsu countered, "It means I'm the mastermind behind Hizashi's death!"
"You're all wrong," Orochimaru cut in. "I did it."
"Really?" Black Zetsu asked. "Why?"
"Because I'm a prick."
A/N: as it turned out, Nagato was controlled by Tobi, who was manipulated by Madara, who was influenced by Indra's chakra, who turned evil because of Black Zetsu, who was created by Kaguya. Who was perhaps influenced by the World Tree's chakra and might be an alien.
That makes a total of at least five villains behind the original villain, each one of them with an incredibly complex plan for world domination. And that's not counting Danzo, Orochimaru and Kabuto.
... am I the only one wondering who is behind what?
Also, after receiving some very nice messages, I've decided to post the links of my non-fanfic work, a web serial published on my website.
The link is: magik online . com (remove additional spaces)
The story, which takes place in a world where magic and technology have become one and dragons rule uncontested, follows a teenager called Mathias discovering an online application allowing him to cast spells if he fulfills the requests of mysterious "Sponsors."
Another novel of mine titled "The Laws of Dis" is available on Amazon. The link is: ww w . amazon (add a dot) com/dp/B01M1FTOL2 (remove additional spaces)
Anyway, I hope you got a good laugh out of this. Have a nice day.