You Are So Infuriating!
By OtakuChild
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! It is owned by Konami, Kids WB, 4Kids, bla bla bla.
Hello all! This is kind of a sequel of sorts, to Yami's rebuttal in the fic "Yu-Gi-Oh! Email Surveys!" Which means I must say something right here and now.

This fanfiction contains Shonen Ai, which is two guys who are into each other, as in, they love each other. If the themes in this story offend you in any way whatsoever, simply click the "Back" button on your web-browser window, and do not read the fic. Remember, no one is forcing you to read it, and it is no fault of the author if you do.

Chapter one: The E-Mail and the Crank Call

"WHAT WAS THE MEANING OF THAT EMAIL, PHAROH???"
A few days ago Bakura had gotten a rather suggestive email from Yami, a rebuttal to the snide comments Bakura had put in an email survey that Yugi had sent out. Bakura saw it as an opportunity to pick on Yami, as the two never got along, and seemed to naturally push each others buttons. Yami, naturally, sent it right back, complete with insults and comments of his own. But this time he went to far.
"Oh, nothing, Baku-chan," Yami replied smugly. "I'm just simply stating what we've both known all along. Come on, I know by your reaction I hit it on the head, so-to-speak. Am I right?"
Bakura hated it when Yami did that. His smooth voice just bugged him to eternity. It never failed to throw him off.
"You-you-know n-nothing ab-b-bout my feelings for-for anyone, you hear me? Y-y-ou mind your own d-d-damn business! I know you! Y-you're n-not serious! It's all lies!"
"Maybe they are, and maybe they aren't. Anyway, I can see that my reply to that email had the exact effect I was hoping for. It'll give you something to chew on."
Bakura finally calmed a bit. "CHEW ON? Believe me, I spit it out. Haven't you got anything better to do? Or have you read all the hentai you can get your hands on already?"
"Very funny, Bakura. I'd only read it with yooou." He started making smooching noises over the phone.
"GO PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR ENTERTAINENT YOU MORONIC COOT!" And with that, Bakura slammed the phone down on the recharger.
He went to the table and started shuffling his dueling deck.
"Oh, like that wasn't completely obvious. Nice job calling his bluff, Baku-chan."
Bakura turned to see his hikari leaning against the frame of the kitchen entrance. Ryou ran his fingers through his silvery hair. "Bakura, It's all over your face, it's in the way you say things. You like him."
Bakura's face hardned into a scowl. "I do not! I despise that damn pharoh! He makes me sick! He thinks he's sooooo smart and smooth. Not to mention he plays off his looks, he thinks everyone wants him. HAH! He's so cocky it's a wonder how he gets that fat head of his through the door! Oh, and Aibou?
"Yes?" Ryou twisted his shiny strands.
"Don't you DARE call me 'Baku-chan' AGAIN!!"
Ryou just giggled and went to practice his guitar, while Bakura shuffled his deck in a huff. At the Turtle Game Shop in Domino City, Yami was laughing so hard he crying, and having a hard time mainaining his balance.
"What's so funny?" Yugi looked up from his video game.
"Bakura!"
"What about Bakura?"
"He's so FUNNY!" Yami leaned a hand on the couch to balance himself and catch his breath. "All I did was say that I called his bluff about the email, and he freaked out!" He burst into fits of hysteria again, and this time lost his balance, and fell to the floor, still laughing. Yugi got up and walked over to the former pharoh.
"That was kind of mean-spirited, you know."
That caught Yami mid-laugh, and he shot up.
"MEAN? I didn't do it to be mean, aibou. You never know. I may have ulterior motives."
Yugi let out a sigh. "Now what are you up to?" Yami always seemed to be plotting and scheming something or other.
"Now telling you would take half the fun out of it." Yami got up. "A mind game can be a blast, Yugi. You wouldn't believe the looks some people get on their faces." He grinned at his light and went upstairs.

...Later that night....

Yami feverishly dialed the number to Ryou's house. He knew Bakura would answer, because Ryou was at Tristan's house, and his dad was on some business trip or other. As the phone rang, he inhaled a balloon full of helium.
"Hello?" Bakura's husky voice answered the line, just as Yami concluded.
"Hello, this is one of the munchkins from Oz looking for Dorothy. Are you her?"
"WHAT??? Who is this??? I'm not Dorothy, I'm a guy!"
Yami inhaled more helium while Bakura was ranting.
"I'm sorry, I must be mistaken, although you sound much like her. I mean, she has been smoking and all..."
That sent Bakura over the edge. "Are you saying I'm a DRAG QUEEN? Because let me tell you, I DON'T DRESS UP IN WOMEN'S CLOTHING!!!"
"Oh, but denial is so unhealthy for the soul..." The helium wore off quicker than expected. "...because...it's...bad...to keep things bottled up," he finished flatly. The squeaky voice had now fully dissipated into his usual deep voice.
On the other end of the line, Bakura was livid.
"IS THAT YOU PHAROH???"
There was a pause.
"Weeeee welcome you to munchikiiiiin laaaaaaaaand.." Yami sang.
"I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS PHAROH!!! EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!! YOU MADE A HUGE-ASS MISTAKE MESSING WITH ME YAMI! WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU YOU'LL WISH YOU NEVER LAID YOUR PERVERTED EYES ON ME!!!!" Bakura roared.
"Oooh, you must really want me," was Yami's smooth reply.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!" Bakura slammed the phone down in a rage.
Yami hung up the phone. "He wants me," he said to no one in particular as he went back up the stairs and into his room.

Kinda short, I know, but the next chapter will be longer. So, what do you think?
Bakura: I am livid with you, OtakuChild. I put up with a lot from you, yes I do, but this takes the cake!
Yami: Oh, but this is so much fun!
Bakura: You stay away from me Pharoh!
Yami: As you wish, Laura Croft. Though I must say, You had a much bigger chest in Tomb Raider.
Bakura: WHAT DID YOU SAY?? I'LL GET YOU!!
Yami: Teleports to another fic
Bakura: follows Yami
Me: '''
Yarg. That coudl have gone better. Chapter two is MUCH better than this. It'll be up in a couple of days. I'm just glad I got this up!
So, read and review!
Malik: Your opinion is important to us!
Later all!
-OtakuChild