Cover is from the game.

To anyone curious about all the random French in here... Um. Well, let's just say that Count Bleck loves waffles and leave it at that.

Also, warning: spoilers ahead for Super Paper Mario.

Let the insanity commence!

"Vous voyez, le théorème de la pomme de terre est très étonnant, par conséquent, les licornes seront heureux de sucettes, aussi j'ai un signet avec un visage si comme ouais et ce monde, puis nous avons tous vécu heureusement jamais après! La fin!"

Timpani stared blankly at her husband. "Uh, Blumiere... Are you speaking French?"

Blumiere nodded happily. "Parce que j'aime les gaufres!"


But before Blumiere could respond, a small pop was heard and a jester flashed into being. "And so I arrive, like a hailstorm on a winter's night," he said with a bow.

Timapni stared in shock at him. "Dimentio, didn't you DIE?!"

"Yes, but it seems that the author wanted me here," he replied with a shrug.

"Dimensio? C'est bon de vous revoir! GAUFRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-!"

"Count, why are you speaking French?" Dimentio asked, staring.

"I don't know, he's been like this ever since we got here," Timpani answered, casting a worried glance at her husband.

Suddenly, the Mario Bros, Peach, and Bowser popped into existence next to them.

"Hey-a,how did we-a get here...?" Mario asked, even though he was supposed to not be saying anything but lolz dis is a fanfic so I can do what I want h8ers gonna h8.

"Et le monde a explosé!" Blumiere grinned.

Everyone stared at him blankly except Bowser, who's eyes widened. "...The world did what now?"


"...Dude, I thought you had reformed."

"What? What is he saying?" chorused the rest of the group.

Bowser scratched the back of his head. "Uh... He said that... The world exploded."


Everyone backed away from the former Count just a bit.

"Wait, but how did you know that?" wondered Mr. L, who had somehow appeared there.

"Well, you see, 'Bowser' is actually a French last name, and the author is absolutely FULL of conspiracy theories."

...Wait, what? I AM NOT!

"Uh, yeah, you are!" Bowser yelled to the sky.

Am not!

"Are too!"

Am not!

"Are too!"

Am not!


"Bowser, please," facepalmed Dimentio."You are yelling at the sky, like an actress who... Uh... Wait, give me a minute."

Bowser rolled his eyes at the jester, still stuck on the simile.

Suddenly, Dimentio jumped... IN the air. Don't question the logic. "Aha! I've got it! Like an actress who... Oh darn, I lost it."

Suddenly, Blumiere started staring at Dimentio and spoke in English for once. "Dude, you're hawt."

"...I'm sorry, what did you just-"

A random 14 year old girl with braces and glasses ran by, screaming "YAOI IS LIFE!"

Then, Mr. L started staring at Dimentio as well. "Dude, you're hawt."

Another 14 year old girl with braces and glasses ran by with a sign that read, "I 3 YAOI!1!one"

And then Mimi started staring at... Doopliss? What was HE doing here? She got down on one knee and spoke. "Doopliss, I know that our only similarity is that we can shape-shift, and that we've never even met before now, but will you marry me?"

"OMG YES!" the ghost screamed, while another 14 year old girl with braces and glasses ran by, screaming, "I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THIS SHIP BUT I KNOW I LOVE IT!"

Timpani and Dimentio exchanged a glance, since they were clearly the only two there that the author tried to keep in-character.

Then, Blumiere started singing... Yup. "RANGÉE DE RANGÉE VOTRE BATEAU DOUCEMENT SUR COURANT-!"

"Dude, stop singing!" Bowser yelled.

Glancing back at the Mario Bros, Timpani's jaw dropped. They were dressed in rapper clothes!

"Yeah, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our-"


They both hung their heads. "We're sorry, miss voice in the sky."

You'd better mean that!

They exchanged a glance, then simeltaneously yelled, "RUN FOR THE HILLS!", tore off their rapper clothes, and galloped away. Yes, galloped.


Striking a heroic pose, Mr. L suddenly yelled, "I AM NOW GOING TO START CURSING FOR NO APPARENT REASON! **** ***** * ** *** *** ** *****!"

Everyone stoppped what they were doing and slowly, simeltaneously turned their heads to Mr. L and gaped.

"...What?" he asked.

"And so he starts cursing for no reason, like a sailor aboard a boat."

"C'est le meilleur que vous pouvez faire?"

"Shut up, Count!"

And now, because i don't want to have to rate this any higher, our lovely tale draws to a close. Don't question it.