Behind the couch, Leonardo kneeled with a spatula to defend himself in one hand and the coffee mug still clinging to the other. His muscles were firmly clenched and readied for any sudden attacks, while Doh-Doh rested nearby on the floor peacefully. He knew they were coming. Raph wouldn't stop until he had won the war and Donatello made the tactics all the more crafty and difficult to counteract. Glancing around nervously, he petted it trying to gain some comfort in this horrible situation. Suddenly, someone came through door and Leonardo sprang into action. He let out a war whoop and smacked his spatula repeatedly against his attacker. As the metal repeatedly made contact, bits of flour, foam, and dried syrup cracked off and fell to the floor.

"Owowowowowowow! Leo stop it!" the gooey monstrosity screamed trying to escape his wrath.

"Mike?" Leo stepped back and blinked.

"Oh, Leo it was awful! They attacked me!" Mike almost began to cry and collapsed into his brother's arms. Leo easily broke his fall and guided him to the couch. The wounded soldier clung to the straps holding Leo's weapons on his chest, and tearfully looked him in the eyes.

"Oh, cruel world! My time has been cut short."

"Mike, don't talk like that."

"Leo...if you need it, it's in the closet."

"Need what Mike?"

Great, he was already delirious.

"You'll take care of Doh-Doh for me, won't you Leo?"

"I promise, Mike. You're going to be okay."

"You were," he paused to cough,"....the best brother ever."

"Mike! Don't leave me!"

"I love...," Mike stopped in midsentence and fell into a deep and exhausted sleep. Fire burned deeply in Leo's pale eyes as he left the side of the casualty.

"I will avenge you!"

Mike let out a slight snore. What was he talking about? What was in the closet? Leo trudged into Mike's room and opened the closet door. On the top shelf, a paintball gun gleamed in the light wickedly. Grinning evily, he found a pack of paintballs nearby and he loaded it triumphantly. Now he had a chance! Returning to Mike, he slide the furby underneath the couch to hide it, and then he left the comforts of his home for the battle field.


Raph and Don sloshed down the tunnels with victory shining in their wake.

"Did you see his face?!" Don laughed, slapping his thigh.

"No, not really."

Both of them laughed harder and gave high five. Suddenly, Raph stopped and grabbed Don by the rim of his shell.

"Do you hear that?"

Don accidentally snorted, but quickly stopped laughing and listened. Some distant sloshing echoed slightly around them.

"Somebody's coming!" Don whispered.


The two quickly scrambled away and hid in the darkness.

Meanwhile, Leo trudged loudly through the water. He was pissed. The gun was pointed ahead of him, aiming at nothing. He continued his march for awhile, until he slowed wondering if he was even going the right way. Then suddenly, an egg careened through the darkness and shattered on his face. The goo dribbled down his cheek and dripped off, but his angry expression remained unfaultered. With the reflexes of a cat, he spun around and shot three balls into the empty blackness. A smile of satisfaction widened across his face as a scream and curses replied. Then another egg slapped the back of his head, and he spun around firing more shots. The same result although lacking the curses. By then, eggs were hailing around him and he swiveled around in circles firing his gun like Rambo. Occasionally, he even stopped to catch a few eggs with the cup glued to his hand. The storm of paintballs and eggs continued until the trigger finally clicked, signaling the lack of ammo. Defeated, he raised his arms up in surrender. His enemies approached, shinning a flashlight beam in his face. Raph glared at him from behind the paint splattered all over him, and grinned. Donatello came up from behind him, and immediatly tied his hands up, avoiding the cup carefully, of course.

"Where is the hairball?!"

"I'll never tell you!"

"Take him away for questioning," Raph sneered. Don saluted and hauled Leonardo towards the lair. As they came in, Leo gasped slightly when he noticed the empty couch, but he didn't want to clue his enemies in on anything. They roughly shoved him into the kitchen and gathered around the table .

"Now, tell us where it is."


Raph cocked and eyebrow nodded to Don, who gave a thumbs up in reply. He pulled out a package of life savers and opened it with a loud pop.

"Tell us...," Raph warned, but his older brother remained silent. Don licked one of the life savers and stuck it to Leo's face. He grimaced in disgust, but still didn't reveal anything.

"Tell us now!"

Nothing. Don licked an orange one and stuck it on his face again. The interrogation continued until Leo's face was completely invisible under a coat of life savers.

"Hhmm...lets move to 'plan B'," Don nodded and left.

"Now you REALLY got it coming," Raph leaned over and grinned at his prisoner. Don returned with a pizza box and took out an extra cheesy slice of pepperoni. He hovered it in front of Leo's face until his brother began to salivate with the deliciously drifting fumes.

"Now do you give in?"

Leo looked down at the pizza, then back at Raph with pleading eyes.

"Okay! Okay! It's under the couch!"

Don lied the piece on the table and left with Raph to retrieve their prize. Leo anxiously leaned down and devoured the pizza without hands even though a few life savers got in his way. They returned with vicious frowns.

"You liar! Take him to the prison!"

Don grabbed him roughly and guided him to the broken bathroom. They shoved him in, and locked the door. Raph smiled with satisfaction as Leo pounded on the other side of the door begging for mercy.

"Little stinky isn't it!" Raph shouted into the door and laughed," Okay, you stay here and guard the door, while I find Mike. He HAS to have it!"

Don nodded and took a straight soldier stance with his trusty bo at the ready. Raphael scampered away to begin his search. Meanwhile, Don stayed in position trying to ignore Leo's pleas.

"Don...I'm your brother! This is ridiculous! It's just a toy!" the muffled voice chattered.

Don ignored it and continued starring forward.

"I'm telling Splinter about this! You're going to be doing flips for weeks!"

Don didn't even blink.


Don remained passive.


Suddenly, some movement caught the corner of his eye. Don spun around just as Mike bashed a pot over his head with a loud clank.

"Oooh, look at all the Papaipema baptisiaes!" Don giggled watching invisible birds float around his head and then he collapsed.

Mike dusted his hands off and unlocked the door. Leo rushed out and gasped for air.

"Mike! You're aliiiiiive!" Leo pulled him into a bear hug.

"I was only taking nap! And get away from me, you smell horrible!"

Flabbergasted, Leo pulled away, but still grinned with happiness.

"Raph's still out there looking for you. We have to be careful. What did you do with it?"

"Sshh, it's better if only I know."

Leo nodded in agreement while pulling life savers off of his face," Well, let's go get him!"


Raphael circled the perimeter of Mike's room carefully. It had to be here somewhere. Then suddenly he heard a tiny giggle. He grinned maliciously and followed the sounds just like he had in the kitchen. He stopped at the closet and put his ear against it. A snort confirmed it. He flung the door open, his sai ready for the attack when a paint ball suddenly exploded on his forehead.

"HAHAHA! Major look!" Mike laughed from inside the closet.

Raph staggered back in surprise and landed on his butt. Both Leo and Mike came out of the closet and surrounded him.

"Tsk, tsk. So gullible, Raphael!" Leo shook his head, little gobs of life saver juice remained in some areas.

Raph growled deep in his throat.

"Now I think the tables have turned!" They approached him sadistically with the paint gun.

"Well, I think the tables have turned again!" Mike and Leo gasped when Donatello appeared in the doorway holding a porn magazine up. Raph felt his belt, wondering how in the world Don had got a hold of it.

"Where did you get that?!" Mike gasped.

"YOUR toy bag! Wouldn't Splinter just LOVE to hear about this?"

Mike gasped and dropped to his knees, begging.

"No! Don't tell Master Splinter. I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" Raph got up and walked to Don's side.


"You know what we want."

Mike nodded with sorrow and went into the closet. He returned with Doh-Doh resting innocently in his palm. Slowly, they traded their items. Mike snatched the magazine and quickly hid it, while Don and Raph glowered at their prize. Mike returned and sniffled.

"I'll miss you Doh-Doh."

"Me too," Leo added.

The two broke down in sobs, holding each other in grief.


:::The Next Day:::

"...and death is only the beginning," Leo said nobly and then he shut his bible. A glob of dried glue still remained on his palm, but atleast the cup was gone.

Mike broke into sobs, occasionally blowing his nose loudly on a tissue. Raphael and Donatello stood behind him glowering in anger. Splinter remained behind them making sure their punishment was carried out properly and they didn't escape. Leo approached the toilet and dropped a plastic eyeball in.

"Thank you for all the great times Doh-Doh."

Don moved forward watching Splinter in the corner of his eye.

"Ahem...uhhh...thank you for sacrificing yourself as our new toilet handle," he said softly and dropped a battery in the bowl.

Splinter shoved Raph forward.

"Thank you for being a royal pain in the..."


"I mean, for being a among us."

Raph scowled and let an ear float down into the bowl with the rest of the items. Finally, Mike approached.

"," Suddenly he collapsed on the edge of the toilet and cried. Leo patted him on the back, and stole a quick glare at his other brothers.

"It's okay. I'm okay, Leo," he got up and let a handful of fluff drift in to join the other things.

"Good-bye, Doh-Doh. We will always remember you!"

Everyone saluted and Leo pushed play on a stereo nearby. A funeral durge began to play. Mike leaned over and touched the new handle made of furby parts. With sorrow he pushed down on it and watched as the parts swirled down the toilet until they vanished into its maw. The toilet coughed a sputtered until the water suddenly began to rise and flood over the edge. The crowd ran away from the tidal wave shouting and screaming in horror.


AN: *stands in front of a podium holding the "TMNT humor fanfic emmy" award* I'd like to thank the NASA website for donating their huge words to me, Brinatello for sharing her furby gossip ^_^ and accidentally laughing when she was suppose to be quite (yes he was bored) , some random website for lending me their "Brain" version of "The Night Before Christmas", Hexadecimal for threatening to make me paaayyyyy, Lenni for encouraging me to kill it as soon as possible and admitting she talks to furbys, Dancingfae for commenting about Leo's furby...erm...affair 0.0 and agreeing with my simple but true disclaimer, Daydream for nagging me constantly about Donatello (and if you STILL didn't get it, he was planning to make Doh-Doh a toilet handle all along. Rememeber that revelation? *wink*), Lone Wolfette for saying Doh-Doh's evil, KC for liking my evil plot twist, Raphielle for slapping herself and sacrificing sleep to read this, Milly for simply hating furbys, Ciara Rivers for begging, Angel of Death for being the first reviewer and also threatening me to read his stories, Cdplay for getting in trouble for me and the curiosity of the porn magazine, my family, my car, my dog, my tree in the front yard, the dirt under my house...aaannnddd....oh! And I'd also like to thank my little brother for lending me his furby so I could listen to its speech patterns and also allowing me to brake it while I had the chance =0). The End! ^_^ *everyone applauses and Zip leaves the podium*