DISCLAIMER: I suppose I need to do one of these again...obviously I don't own anything either Naruto or any part of the DC universe. If I did, then I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.
Firstly and most importantly... For those of you who aren't aware, this is a humor sequel of my first story "Reaching for a Dream", which means that you should read that one first. Nothing is physically preventing you from reading this first mind you, but you will more than likely be terribly confused if you do.
Secondly, my knowledge of the DC universe in general and the Justice League in particular is spotty at best, so feel free to point out any glaring errors or blatant OOC-ness. This spotty knowledge is also one of the reasons why my foray into this universe will be rather short.
Standing in an isolated spot that overlooked the city of Gotham were two odd figures, one male and one female, both of them very tall by the standard of humans and in possession of some very distinctive features.
The woman was an incredible beauty who stood at 6'4'', had long, shining white hair that reached down to her thighs, red eyes with a predatory slit and an alluring dusky skin tone. She was dressed in a body hugging, full length white kimono with red accents and a slit on the side so that it showed a flash of leg when she walked and left her shoulders exposed, showing off a great figure. Magatama markings encircled the wide sleeves and bust line, coincidentally also drawing attention to her impressive cleavage, which would have hovered between between a C and D cup on a shorter woman. On her it seemed larger due to being scaled appropriately for her heigth.
The man stood at 6'7'' and while he was not handsome in the conventional sense, what with the deep whisker marks on his cheeks and the jagged black marks on the sides of his face, he was far from unattractive. His hair was of similar length to that of his companion, though it was an extremely bright golden color instead of white and his eyes had the same predatory slit, but they were a gold-orange color as opposed to her red. His skin was also a much lighter shade than hers, though still tanned. He wore black pants and a white, high collared haori decorated with magatama markings, which was kept open to reveal a powerfully muscled chest. The hilt of a long nodachi was visible over his right shoulder and a green crystal hung from a cord around his neck.
Both of them were barefoot, but seemed unbothered by their lack of footwear, despite the pebbles and rather low temperature of the ground.
By far their most eye catching feature however, were the pair of horns on their heads, giving an appearance that was both regal and demonic. The claws and fanged teeth only further supported this image. The faint glow of their hair made them seem even more otherworldly.
Naruto was inordinately pleased that eating the Chakra Fruit had bestowed on him the same type of horns that his wife sported(perhaps more pleased that he had a reason to be, considering that it was just a cosmetic effect, but he didn't care because the horns were awesome). He'd long since given up on wearing his previous leather get up, finding the chakra formed clothing to be incomparably more comfortable, not to mention indestructable.
He'd destroyed the crystal imprisoning Madara's soul some time ago, finding it tiring to keep holding on to his anger at the man. Honestly, if it hadn't been for the near success the Uchiha had at killing Xanna, he would have released him even sooner. Either way it was hard to keep holding a grudge against a dead man, especially when it was that very dead man's machinations that culminated in an ascension to godhood for you and your wife even if that hadn't been his intent.
More importantly, it was hard to hold a grudge when you've just spent the past decade or so doing nothing but having incredible amounts of incredible sex and playing around with your new powers.
Despite having arrived only about a week before, Naruto and Xanna had already formed an opinion of this new dimension that they found themselves in.
"This dimension is really weird." Naruto stated, fairly amused by what they'd found out about it so far.
"You have quite the gift for understatement husband." Xanna replied, equally amused.
"Honestly, superheroes in capes going around fighting crime, calling themselves things like 'Batman' and 'Superman'. Don't even get me started on the unimaginatively named sidekicks. I don't think I've ever heard of anything so ridiculously corny before in my life." Naruto said with a headshake.
"I agree, even your flattery isn't anywhere near as bad as this." Xanna said agreeably.
"Oh come on, my flattery isn't that bad is it?" Naruto protested.
Xanna was unswayed. "It's pretty bad."
Naruto responded by pouting, forming a black shakujo made completely of chakra and poking at the ground with it. The miniature raincloud that he created over his head completed the image of utter dejection that he was projecting.
Xanna chuckled in amusement at the antics of her husband, finding the frivolous use of his powers to be very funny. Just about anyone else would have developed an uncontrollably inflated ego if they had such power at their command, but Naruto had only ever cared about power as a means to an end. Being powerless would make him unhappy only because it would render him unable to help her(and possibly any 'little sisters' he happened to take a liking to) if she should ever need it and that was far more flattering than any words could ever be.
Though his compliments really were corny, there was absolutely no doubt about that.
Naruto grinned at hearing her chuckle at his little act, pleased that he was able to make her laugh even after spending ten years on an island together with no company save each other.
"So, you think we might be able to have some fun here?" He asked, getting to the point of their visit to this dimension.
"Naruto, I am a goddess, of course we can have fun here." She said scathingly, but her eyes were full of amusement.
Naruto rolled his eyes at her response. That had turned into a running gag a long time ago and she never missed an opportunity to use it.
"I suppose we could join the superhero side but that would just be embarrassing beyond description." The horned blond said musingly, rubbing his chin contemplatively. No way in hell was he going around in a silly mask and 'fighting crime'. If he tried that, he would just end up killing everyone that he decided deserved to die.
Somehow, he got the feeling that that kind of attitude wouldn't be very popular among the 'superhero community'.
"I doubt you'd want to become one of these so called 'supervillains' either. It would be only marginally less embarrassing, not to mention that neither one of us has any interest in harming random bystanders just for the sake of fun." Xanna added.
Naruto sighed in agreement. "Fuck, this dimension is so damn cheesy that it's actually hard to think of anything fun to do. From what we've found out so far, the villains are almost entirely made up of morons and the heroes are both stupid and corny. How do they expect to get anything done if nobody ever kills anyone?" He ranted to himself.
"I've been wondering about that myself actually. They act above the law and yet continuously spare obviously lost causes, no matter how many times it bites them in the ass, as if they are afraid that slaying evil will make them evil in turn." Xanna mused.
Naruto didn't reply, but instead gazed contemplatively at the city below, his mind churning over several ideas. From what they'd learned, Gotham was under the protection of Batman and his two sidekicks, the unimaginatively named Batgirl and the overly brightly dressed Robin. Just thinking about how ridiculous those three were made him want to giggle, though Batgirl was definitely hot so she could be forgiven.
Their ridiculous names, outfits and refusal to kill the bad guys aside, there just had to be a way to have some fun with the situation.
"I think I may have an idea or two." He said eventually, with a slow grin spreading over his face.
"Oh? Do tell." She prodded.
"Well it would require some pretty good acting from you if you think you can manage it." He replied, already knowing what her response would be.
"Naruto, I am a goddess, I can do anything."
Naruto snickered. That joke was probably just going to get funnier now that they were going to be interacting with people again.
Naruto leasurely made his way into the abandoned building(the city had a remarkably large amount of them) where he had just now seen three men drag a desperately struggling young woman that looked to be in her early twenties, claws flexing in anticipation of what he intended to do.
Xanna had agreed to his plan after some arguing and they had separated. She had ensconced herself in a comfortable hiding spot and was using a severely overpowered version of the Byakugan to keep an eye on him. Not because she was worried about him, but to keep herself amused until it was time for her debut.
Naruto personally thought it was really cool that she was now the holder of pretty much every bloodline to have ever existed in the Elemental Nations. It had surprised him at first, but it made sense...all bloodlines had originated from the Shinju and she had taken over that spot as well as retaking all chakra in the world, thus returning everything to her.
Meanwhile, Naruto had gone into the city to look for some trouble. The concrete and steel nature of it dulled his ability to sense life in a most displeasing manner, but it had no impact on his Negative Emotion Sensing, which he had developed after eating the Chakra Fruit.
He'd barely been in the city proper for half an hour when he'd sensed the negative emotions being generated by what was obviously an abduction that was going to be followed by rape.
He could only shake his head at the stupidity of the city's supposed defender. While he wasted time catching and recatching the same criminals over and over again, atrocities like this were allowed to happen unchecked.
The men had just thrown the woman on a dirty matress and were in the process of removing their coats when Naruto entered behind them.
The woman saw him and her eyes widened at his appearance, but nobody had time to react any further as tree roots broke through the floor and blocked the exit. At the same time as that happened, two of the men were impaled non-fatally through the lungs by roots that had grown right behind them.
Naruto smiled to himself in grim approval when he saw that. Their deaths would be slow and suitably agonizing and they wouldn't be doing any annoying screaming due to being impaled through the lungs.
The apparent leader of the trio spun around and fell on his ass in shock and fear at the sight before him. No doubt he was thinking that a demon had come to kill him.
"Stay back!" He squealed desperately and backed away as far as he was able before hitting a wall.
Naruto cocked his head quizzically at the would be rapist. "You don't actually expect me to listen to you do you?"
It was rather fortunate that Xanna had already used the Human Path to learn english from some unlucky criminal and then passed it on to him, otherwise this wouldn't be much of a conversation.
"I'll give you anything you want!"
Naruto gazed contemplatively at the terrified man, idly noting that the other two had just died. "I suppose that I could let you go if you did something for me."
The man's face lit up with hope. "Anything you want, I'll do it, just don't kill me please."
Naruto nodded and gave his terms. "I want you to cut out your own heart and eat it, if you can manage that, then I won't hurt you."
The previously hopeful visage turned ashen. "Please don't kill me!" He begged desperately.
"I guess that means that you won't do as I said?" Naruto asked rhetorically. "That's not very nice, you already said that you'd do anything. Going back on your word like that is really bad form." He scolded.
"I don't wanna die!" He wailed, tears and snot now running down his face in rivers.
"I'm sure that the young lady over there didn't want to be raped either, but that didn't seem important to you, so I'm really confused by your behavior." The horned blond said in a tone of mild confusion even as he drew the Kusanagi from it's sheath with a rasp of steel. "Weren't we all doing whatever we wanted without regard for others?"
The man was at this point just blubbering in incoherent terror and was thus unable to respond.
Seeing that the conversation was over, Naruto stabbed the Kusanagi into the man's chest with the blunt side turned upwards, making sure to miss his vitals. The man screamed as he was lifted into the air by the sword in his chest and reflexively grabbed it.
"You seem like the type to think that any woman you forced yourself on would enjoy being 'impaled' by your 'sword'. "Naruto said in a conversational tone. "I would really appreciate it if you could describe to me exactly how enjoyable it is to be impaled against your will, just to satisfy my curiosity."
The would be rapist continued to scream in pain, though not as loudly anymore and tried to push himself off the blade unsuccessfully. Despite holding a grown man up in the air by the end of his sword with just one hand, the Kusanagi remained rock steady, Naruto's strength more than great enough for something like that. The man's own body weight kept pushing him down on the blunt side of the sword painfully.
Naruto frowned when he didn't get an answer. "Well if you're going to give me the silent treatment, then fuck you too." Upon saying that, he twisted the Kusanagi around so that the sharp side was pointed upwards, which caused the preternaturally sharp blade to slowly cut upwards as gravity continued to assert its power.
Naruto removed it just before it could start cutting into the skull, as he had no desire to see brains sliding out of the skull and wobbling around on the floor thank you very much. As a final touch he swung it swiftly so as to send the blood flying off and resheathed it.
With that done, he turned towards the terrified woman who had been observing the entire spectacle with silent horror. She scooted away and whimpered as soon as he approached, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to make herself as small as possible.
She stiffened and started shaking when he sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug, fearing that she had just exchanged a set human rapists for a single demonic one, not thinking clearly enough to note that the horned blond clearly didn't approve of such an act.
"Shhhh, it's alright. You're safe now." He purred into her ear softly, petting her hair at the same time. "Just relax, everything is going to be ok."
Almost against her will, her body relaxed into the warm embrace and her breathing slowed to a more normal pace from its previous terrified panting. Unknown to her, he had imbued chakra into his voice to give the words greater force...she was being compelled to listen. A person with a strong enough will could resist, but people like that were rare.
Naruto continued to issue a low, throaty growl that sounded a lot like purring and held her until she had completely calmed down.
"There we go, all calmed down. You're such a good girl." He murmured to her. "What's your name?"
"Rachel." She answered softly and clung tightly to him when he stood up and started to carry her out of the building. She didn't put too much thought into why she suddenly felt so comfortable being held by the extremely scary stranger, he had saved her after all and he was being so nice.
"Well Rachel, you're going to have to tell me where you live so that I can get you there."
" 'Kay." She murmured and buried her face into the crook of his neck.
"So cute." Naruto whispered to himself. She really was cute too, all soft brown hair and big brown eyes.
Naruto, you had better not be picking up any little sisters. Xanna's voice echoed in his mind sternly.
But... He tried to protest.
No. She repeated with the same stern tone. You know that we aren't going to be staying in this dimension very long. You'll just mope later if you have to leave her behind.
I guess... He agreed grudgingly. After ten years without any little sisters to cuddle and tease, he was just about ready to invade an orphanage or something equally drastic.
Xanna sighed and spoke again. I promise that we'll stay longer in the next dimension and you can pick up as many little sisters as you want there.
You are the best wife ever, I love you so much. He returned happily.
And you husband, are a brute with a very strange fetish, but I love you anyway.
Naruto continued to hold Rachel tightly as he followed her directions towards where she lived. He was also bending the light around them to make them invisible, exactly the way that Xanna had showed him. With his hair and haori, he would have stuck out like a beacon in the rather gloomy Gotham night time.
Sometimes, he still marveled at the ease of chakra control he had now that the chakra truly belonged to him. He'd never even noticed how much he had to struggle to make it work for him before Xanna had gifted him with the Chakra Fruit. Now that the chakra was his instead of being stolen from the original Shinju, it was eager to obey his wishes instead of resisting him. He was even capable of Genjutsu and medical Ninjutsu!
"What's your name?" His passenger asked suddenly, apparently recalling that he had never given her his name.
"You can call me Uzu." He couldn't go around using his real name just now, because there was a small chance that it would screw up his and Xanna's plans for later. Slight though the chance was, it would still work better if he had only one name. Uzumaki Naruto sounded too human for what they had planned.
Xanna had teased him incessantly over his lack of imagination though, especially after the way he had bitched over the lack of imagination that the local superheroes had with their names.
Rachel was quiet for a little while before she tentatively spoke up again. "Are you a demon?"
Naruto couldn't help chuckling in amusement at the question. "Depends on who you ask."
The mysterious non-answer seemed to relax her further for some reason, but Naruto certainly wasn't going to complain about it.
"Can I touch your horns?"
Naruto burst into surprised laughter at the blurted out question and the blushing face that accompanied it. "Knock yourself out."
Face on fire at her own forwardness and the amused smirk being leveled at her, Rachel nevertheless reached out to touch the protrusions and ran her hands over them curiously. She yelped in surprise when Naruto suddenly swung her around so that she was sitting on his shoulders, but quickly found herself enjoying the new position.
"This is so cool." She said with a small grin and grabbed the horns as if they were a steering wheel, using them to navigate him towards her home.
Naruto snorted out another laugh but let her do as she pleased. If something as minor as that helped her feel better after what had nearly happened to her, then he was more than happy to let her have some fun, even if it was at his expense.
He couldn't keep himself fom commenting when she started subconsciously rubbing his horns rather suggestively though.
"Well aren't you a naughty girl, but I'm afraid you can't give my horns a handjob."
He could almost hear the blood rushing to her face as she jerked her hands away as if they'd been scalded.
"Don't be, I'm just teasing you." He reassured, sensing that she felt genuinely ashamed at being called out on it. She probably hadn't even been aware of what she was doing.
Reassured, she tentatively put her hands back on the horns and kept them there for the rest of the trip home.
"That's where I live." She said, pointing towards an apartment building.
Naruto was amused to note that she actually sounded disappointed that the trip was over.
"You've had an exciting day, so you should go get some rest." He told her as he set her down.
"Will I ever see you again?" Rachel asked hopefully.
"Probably not, though I have no doubt that you'll be hearing about me on the news soon enough."
She looked a bit saddened at that, but not surprised.
"Wo-would you like to come upstairs?" She asked with a stuttering blush.
Naruto gave her a hug and murmured into her ear. "I'm flattered, but I really have places that I need to be."
One of the side effects of speaking to people while enhancing your voice with chakra to make yourself more persuasive was the fact that it made you attractive to them in the extreme. It even worked on men, which was more than a tad creepy.
If he'd used it to inspire fear then the target would be left feeling irrationally afraid of him even years down the line. It was a powerful ability and not one he had any intention of using often. The only reason he'd used it on Rachel was because he knew that she had been scared out of her mind and definitely not rational enough to believe him if he simply told her that he wasn't going to hurt her.
Either way, Naruto wasn't going to be sleeping with any woman that was under the effects of mild brainwashing(even if it had been for a good cause).
"Had fun?" Xanna asked with a raised eyebrow when he returned to their temporary hiding spot.
She was lounging on a wooden, moss covered throne that she had grown with the Mokuton. The way that she was sitting with her legs crossed so that one of the delicious looking limbs was almost completely exposed through the slit was instantly enough to catch his attention, as was the way that she was sticking her chest out. He could see the faint outline of her nipples through her thin, chakra formed kimono, already hardened with arousal.
"Yeah..." He answered distractedly as he approached her.
Xanna smirked to herself. Such an obviously inviting position never failed to catch his attention. It had been a very faint concern of hers that his attraction to her would diminish over time and she was very pleased that it was as strong as ever.
She gave a slight groan of pleasure as he kissed her deeply and tugged the kimono aside to roll one of her nipples between his thumb and index finger at the same time. Having a true physical body of her own was a delight in many ways and Naruto, being the considerate husband that he was, made sure to remind her of it frequently.
When he moved his mouth down to her nipples she dismissed her clothing, leaving her naked, with Naruto doing the same right afterwards.
Instead of allowing the blond to make any further headway on his own initiative, she grabbed his horns and pulled his head in between her legs.
"Honestly, letting that girl grab your horns like that when you belong to me. You had better make it up to me." Though the words were scolding, they were said with an expectant pant as the blond inhaled a deep whiff of her glistening nether lips.
The only reply she received was an abnormally long tongue plundering her insides, making her arch into his face with a cry and pull him even closer by his horns, feeling his sharp teeth scraping over the sensitive flesh.
Naruto had definitely been on to something when he'd immediately identified the horns as points of sexual interest.
Newcomer in Gotham City: Hero or Villain?
We have recently become aware of a new arrival in Gotham who goes by the name of Uzu. As you can clearly see by the appended artists rendition of him, he does not appear to be human and has unknown motives for coming to our city.
His first known action in our city was to save a young woman from being raped, brutally killing the men who assaulted her and then carrying her home.
In spite of saving a young woman from sexual assault, we are hesitant to label him a hero due to his 'take no prisoners' attitude, which is a marked difference from what we are used to from our heroes. Additionally, he seems to be entirely indifferent as to whether people know his name and appearance.
Perhaps the greatest surprise about him is that aside from using a sword, he also has the power to control plants, just like the villainess Poison Ivy, making many wonder what-if any- connection Uzu has to her.
Only time will tell which side of the law he is on and what he is here to do. Readers are however encouraged to vote on our poll and give your opinions on whether Uzu is a hero or a villain.
Bruce Wayne, otherwise known as Batman, put down the week old newspaper article with a frown, once again trying to puzzle out this new mystery.
Since that day, an ever increasing amount of people had started turning up dead, some of them known criminals and some of them not. Public opinion indicated that people thought of Uzu as a sort of anti-hero, someone who had no faith that the law would do the job it was supposed to, so he was taking matters into his own hands.
As far as the police were concerned, he was a criminal that was charged with nearly a hundred counts of murder by now.
Bruce agreed with the police on this, he didn't believe that slaughtering every criminal was the right way. Uzu's behavior was erratic and unpredictable though, he killed some and spared others with no readily apparent reason.
Additionally he was far more helpful whenever he saved women. The men he simply looked over to make sure they were alright, but he escorted the women home more often than not, a curiously chivalrous gesture from an otherwise ruthless man.
He'd already gone to interrogate Poison Ivy in Arkham if she had any connection to this newcomer, but that had turned out to be a dead end. Though Ivy had been stunned by the news and clearly wanted to meet Uzu.
One thing was for sure though...he definitely had the average crook in Gotham shaking in their boots.
Bruce hadn't been able to get any information on the horned man at all and neither had he managed to confront him. Despite his brazen behavior, this Uzu was remarkably slippery and hard to pin down. He would find him though, find him and put him behind bars.
There was no place for people who killed so easily in Gotham, even if those killed were criminals. After all, how long would it take before he turned his attention on the innocent?
Naruto sat on a wooden throne, aiming a smug grin at the seemingly empty warehouse he was in as he languidly twirled his black shakujo around and waited for Batman to reveal himself. After spending a good week and a half frustrating the man with his ability to kill anyone he pleased without anyone being able to stop him, he'd finally let himself be tracked to this semi-cliche warehouse hideout.
Oh, the caped one had certainly tried hard to pin down his location, but there wasn't much you could do against invisibility, life sensing, emotion sensing, teleportation and various other abilities as a regular human. Though Naruto could certainly give him points for effort...as far as regular humans went, Batman had been mightily impressive.
The man in question stepped out of the shadow he'd been failing to hide in so far and directed a narrow eyed glare at the lounging blond.
"Hello." Naruto greeted pleasantly, never losing the grin.
Batman continued to glare silently, but made no move forward. When he saw that the blond was apparently content to outwait the universe with that smug grin on his face, he decided to speak up.
A rather odd situation for him actually, as the bad guys were often prone to monologuing.
"You allowed yourself to be found for some reason, I want to know what that reason is." He demanded cooly.
"You figured that out did you? You must be smarter than I gave you credit for, but perhaps your cute little sidekicks would like to join us for this discussion? I'm sure it must be uncomfortable to lurk in the rafters like that." Was the mild response, but it caused some surprise for the still hiding duo.
A small nod from Batman caused them to drop down to his side so that all three of them were facing the relaxed blond.
"So, what can I do for you three? Be aware that I'm not into masks in case you're looking to sell."
They ignored the second sentence, though Batgirl and Robin were becoming a bit unnerved the the strangeness of the situation. Usually they would be eyeballs deep in traps and henchmen by now.
"You didn't answer my question." Batman stated, intently looking if he could find any discernible weakness. He fully expected it to come down to a fight soon, but it was always good to gather information first.
"I don't recall you asking me any questions." Naruto replied, seeming to be honestly puzzled.
Batman's face took a distinctly annoyed cast as he clarified. "Why did you let yourself be found?"
"Oh, I just wanted to meet the man who is shameless enough to go around dressed like that as he fights crime." The blond answered with a smirk.
After answering the superhero's question, he turned his gaze towards the only female present and looked her over with clear appreciation. "Though I must say that your associate looks much better in that kind of outfit."
Batgirl wasn't sure if she should feel complimented or repulsed at the blatant once over.
"Why did you come to Gotham? Why have you been killing so many people?" Batman demanded, wanting to see if the horned blond was in a sharing mood. Many villains he'd encountered so far seemed all too eager to reveal their plans and it often caused their downfall.
Naruto sighed in disappointment and asked a question of his own. "Didn't you want to ask something more obvious first?"
When he got nothing but mildly confused silence for a few seconds he prompted them again. "Perhaps you Batgirl? Do you have any questions burning in your brain?"
Batgirl frowned slightly as she considered whether she should play along and decided that there was no harm in it. He did say if they had any obvious questions for him and there was definitely one very obvious question on her mind ever since she'd seen him.
"What are you?"
Naruto grinned widely as the redhead asked exactly what he'd been hoping for. He'd seen her oggling his horns, claws, fangs and whisker marks ever since she'd dropped down from the rafters, which was why he'd directed his question to her specifically.
"Horny." He told her with a leer and deliberately extended his tongue an obscene distance out of his mouth.
Batgirl recoiled with a blush, feeling highly uncomfortable at the blatant sexual interest being displayed in her. She was used to being treated as a nuisance by villains, not as a woman. The suggestive waggle he made with his tongue before he returned it to his mouth certainly didn't improve the situation.
"How long have you been waiting to say that?" Robin asked dryly once the initial shock at the extra long tongue had faded. Despite the rather tense situation, he couldn't help but find the terrible pun amusing.
"Pretty long." Naruto replied with obvious amusement and ran a finger across one of his horns.
"Enough!" Batman commanded, becoming irritated with the disturbingly friendly banter between his sidekicks and the man they were intending to arrest. "Why have you been killing people?"
Instead of answering the question, Naruto sighed tiredly and adressed Batgirl again, completely ignoring Batman. "Is he always that wound up?"
Batgirl once again felt uncomfortable. The horned blond hadn't even bothered standing up, much less done anything hostile and now he was holding a conversation with her as if they were friendly acquaintances instead of enemies.
The fact that Batman was in fact that wound up almost constantly was another point of discomfort.
She was saved from having to answer by Batman losing his patience with the conversation and interrupting again.
"Uzu, you've committed multiple murders and are a wanted man in the eyes of the police. Will you turn yourself in peacefully?" He asked despite knowing that the possibilities of it were pretty remote. It never hurt to try.
"Ararara, I don't remember murdering any people, what are you talking about?" Naruto asked quizzically. It was apparently time to put things in motion.
"Don't play games with me, there have been multiple eye witness reports of you killing over two dozen people and circumstancial evidence for many more."
"Oh that." Naruto said in apparent realisation. "I hardly think that disposing of that trash counts as murder. You wouldn't considering putting down a rabid animal murder would you?"
"You've been killing people not rabid animals." Batman asserted with a glare at the blond's callousness.
"I will concede that they were not animals. They chose their path, making them far lower than animals. They needed to be purged from this world as soon as possible and I consider it a failing on your part that you failed to do this before my arrival."
All three heroes fumed at the accusation, something which they definitely didn't want to hear from a remorseless killer.
"Nobody has the right to decide who gets to live or die, not you and not me. We aren't gods." Batman said, firmly, keeping the anger out of his voice. He knew better than to let himself be provoked.
Naruto snorted. "You certainly aren't, but I am."
The three heroes were taken aback by the blunt claim to godhood. Not even the most delusional villains they'd fought had ever claimed to be gods and they honestly didn't know how to react to it. What they did realise, was that the man before them was hideously dangerous and not just because of his presumed power, but also because he was no doubt going to feel justified in everything he did.
"You see so little, not even trying to understand the bigger picture. By killing those people I am doing a favor both to them and those who remain in this world. The living will no longer be preyed upon and those slain can no longer continue to build up bad karma before they return to the cycle of Samsara. In this way, I am shortening their suffering in the Realm of Hell before they are reincarnated."
It had been both surprising and funny to discover that the six paths of the Rinnegan were a religion in this dimension. Though to be fair, it could have been a religion back in the Elemental Nations as well. The chronic inability of the people back in his and Xanna's original dimension to keep track of their own history could easily account for the lack of mention of it. Neither he nor Xanna were at all surprised to find some overlap between dimensions, it made sense since it was likely the same set of gods that had created them.
Either way it was good for shoveling some bullshit. The whole 'Six Realms in the Cycle of Samsara' was entirely philosophical and not even close to how the afterlife worked, but it had given him this idea for screwing with people.
"You think you're some kind of divine messiah, saving people from their own sins by killing them before they can make it worse for themselves?" Robin asked, his incredulity coming through clearly.
Naruto snorted again. "Hardly. Even though I am a god, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to do this normally."
"Then why are you doing this?" Batman asked with a scowl.
"For fun." Naruto answered with a fanged grin.
"Fun?" Batgirl echoed in disbelief, horrified by the complete lack of respect for life the horned blond was displaying, even if those he was killing were criminals.
"Uh huh." Naruto nodded, disregarding their negative reaction. "I've got to keep myself busy until I finish what I've come to do on this world after all."
"And what would that be?" Batman asked cooly, hiding his anger at the blond.
"That is...a secret." He said with a smirk and stood up from the Mokuton made throne.
He had a vague thought about how many of these thrones he and Xanna were leaving all over the place. It would probably leave quite a few people scratching their heads when they came across them later.
The three heroes tensed, preparing for a fight as the blond started walking towards them.
"Well, it was fun talking to you. Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go kill some more people." Naruto said with a careless shrug and started making his way towards the exit.
"We do mind actually." Batman said and moved forward to attack, followed by his sidekicks.
Naruto quirked an amused eyebrow at their cautious approach, not even bothering to get into a ready position as he leaned on his shakujo. "Even if you mind, I don't see what you can do about it."
Batman didn't answer but attacked instead, even though he didn't like attacking someone that was clearly not intending to fight. Usually the villains would be right in the middle of some diabolical plot or more than willing to get into a fight, so this lackadaisical attitude was throwing him off.
Naruto had no problem at all avoiding the slow attack. Batman was the type that would no doubt have been at least a Kage level shinobi if he had chakra, but the fact was that he didn't and was therefore nothing more than a very impressively trained normal human.
He let the shakujo disperse as he continued to evade the attacks of the three heroes, sometimes letting them strike him just for the sake of amusement as he saw their frustration at being unable to even bruise him.
Giving both Batman and Robin a light push to send them stumbling away, he caught Batgirl's leg when she slammed a kick into his side and pulled her close to his chest.
"How would you like to ditch these two losers and go somewhere more private with me?" He asked while his hand crept up her thigh and towards her rear end.
"As if!" She snapped back with a glare, clearly angered by his proposition. She also tried to get free, but discovered that she was utterly helpless against his strength.
She managed to get loose when a metal object bounced off Naruto's skull and he let the woman go in exchange for grabbing whatever had struck him in the head.
Examining the strangely bat shaped projectile in his hand curiously, he turned to the thrower. "What's this?"
"A batarang." Batman answered evenly.
Naruto snorted out a laugh at the ridiculous name and replied to the man in a completely deadpan tone. "A batarang? Seriously? Do you have a twelve year old boy hidden somewhere that names these things for you or something?"
Robin, who had been behind Naruto's back the entire time and who was being completely ignored, chose this moment to some bolas at the blond, binding his arms to his chest.
"You might be strong, but that wire is made of a carbon reinforced polymer. There's no way you can get free, even if you are a 'god'." Robin said with a smirk, his tone tinged with mockery at the end.
Naruto turned towards the garishly dressed sidekick and bared his teeth in a mockery of a grin as he replied. "Then I guess that I must be stronger than god!"
Even as he spoke he was already straining his arms hard, causing the wire to creak ominously and then snap loudly.
While the three heroes looked stunned at the display of raw strength, just now realising how easily he could have ended them, Naruto made several poses at Batgirl, making the redhead huff irritably at his continued attempts to get her interested in sleeping with him.
Inwardly though, he was impressed by the wire. It was much, much stronger than anything that had been used in the Elemental Nations, especially as it was not chakra enhanced. It may not have done anything to his indestructable chakra haori, but it had broken his skin under it from the pressure he'd needed to exert in order to snap it, which was no small feat.
"Well, this has been an amusing little diversion, but I guess I'll be going since Batgirl isn't interest in sleeping with me."
"And you think we're just going to let you leave?" Batgirl asked with some incredulity, even though she was also wondering how to stop this juggernaut.
"The only way you could possibly get me to stay is if you dropped your panties." Naruto replied airily and sent chains after them.
To their credit, all three heroes avoided the initial attack and instantly deduced that staying in a confined space would work to their disadvantage. Before they could get outside however, thick tree roots blocked off the exit.
Shortly after, Robin was captured when he tried to escape through the roof, followed by Batgirl. Batman lasted only slightly longer, but was also inevitably captured. He could have made it out, but was unwilling to leave his sidekicks behind, which caused his capture.
All three of them struggled uselessly for a while before deciding to conserve their energy. It was hardly the first time that they'd been captured, though usually it wasn't all three of them at once. At the very least, the horned blond didn't seem to have any interest in actually killing or even harming them.
Naruto shifted the chains around so that Batgirl's hands were bound behind her back and her legs were held slightly spread by the chains winding their way around them even as she was suspended in the air. The other two were simply bound like potato sacks and similarly held in the air.
He moved towards the redhead and gripped her face in his clawed hands, causing her to try leaning away, but to no avail. She said nothing when he removed her mask, aside from aiming a furiously defiant glare at him, which did nothing except make him chuckle.
"Cute glare you've got there, it goes well with the pretty face it's on." He said with a smirk.
"So what are you going to do now that you know our identities?" She asked with heavy sarcasm. "Tell it to every piece of scum in the city?"
"Actually, I have no idea what your real name is, though I would like to know." Naruto said as he ran his fingers through her hair, ignoring her obvious discomfort. Gesturing towards the other two, he spoke again. "As for them...I don't even care. They aren't sexy women, so they can go hang. Get it? Hang?" He finished with a grin, gesturing to the two men hanging suspended in his chains.
Batgirl was at first incredulous but then groaned at the terrible pun. Just her luck to be captured by a flaming pervert with a penchant for making bad puns.
"Now then my dear, as you can see I am especially well suited for bondage play. Have you reconsidered my earlier proposition?" Naruto asked, grinning at the bound woman.
"Why the hell would that make me reconsider?!" She burst out in angry incredulity.
Naruto looked utterly crestfallen by her words. "You mean...you aren't into bondage?"
"Oh...I thought for sure that you would be, based on that skintight outfit you're wearing." He muttered disappointedly.
She merely glared at him in answer.
"How about some S&M? You can be the S first if you want." Naruto offered generously.
"You want to be the M?" He asked again, sounding excited at the prospect.
"NO damnit! I AM NOT A PERVERT!"
"That's a load of crap, everyone is a pervert." Naruto asserted with a scoff.
"Well I'm not!" She shot back, red faced from both anger and embarrassment.
"If you weren't, then you wouldn't have known what I'm talking about." He countered with a grin.
Batgirl took a deep breath, visibly struggling to regain her calm. She knew that she shouldn't have let herself be provoked so easily but the horned blond was remarkably good at provoking people.
"I am not into bondage, S&M or anything even remotely similar and even if I was, it certainly wouldn't be with a monster like you." She said with conviction, staring him dead in the eye.
"So, just to be sure...You don't want to have sex with me?" He sounded honestly confused, as if something like that just didn't compute. As far as he was concerned, being called a monster was a compliment.
"No, I don't want to have sex with you!" She snapped, feeling humiliated by their easy defeat and her patience strained by his constant attempts to get into her panties. His arrogant self assurance that she would want to sleep with him certainly didn't help.
"What if I told you that I can make you scream in pleasure until you pass out?"
"NO!" She shouted into his face.
"Too bad, so sad." He said with a sigh, though he was obviously not as put out as he pretended to be.
Tree roots then grew under her and bound her, the same happening to Batman and Robin even as the chains retreated. Batgirl only now saw that Robin was apparently saying something, but no sound was getting through.
"What did you do to them?" She demanded.
Naruto looked over at the bound males and gave a shrug. "I'm just preventing any sound from reaching us, nothing to get excited about."
He continued speaking before the redhead could reply. "Well, since you don't want to have a good time, I'm going to Arkham to have myself a little bloodbath. It might be funny to see what you guys do if someone slaughters all the bad guys." He finished with a snicker, obviously amused by the thought.
Having done what he had set out to do, Naruto made his way out, leaving the three heroes bound by roots. They'd get out soon enough, but not soon enough to prevent his little killing spree in Arkham. He absentmindedly crushed the small tracking device that Batman had planted on him during the fight. The man would have to try harder if he wanted to slip something like that past him.
Now it was up to Xanna to make things even more confusing for the heroes.
Poison Ivy, or Pamela Isley if you prefer, was feeling rather frightened.
This was not a feeling that she liked.
Even when going up against batman and his cronies, there was usually nothing to be afraid of because their no killing policy. The screaming and general chaos she could hear outside of her cell indicated that something much more sinister than normal was going on.
The occasional booming laughter and agonized screaming that she could recognize as belonging to the other inmates didn't help.
Eventually the cause of the disturbance reached her and she caught sight of him through the small opening in her cell door. She backed away as soon as the burning slitted gaze settled on her and the bloodied sword was raised.
She barely saw the flash of metal as it sliced through the door and caused it to collapse on the floor in chunks.
She recognized Uzu easily, but any thoughts of wanting to meet him had fled her mind in the current situation. He'd clearly come here with intent to kill and it looked as if he was mostly finished with that intent. She was woefully unprepared to defend herself in the current situation and just stared at him defiantly, refusing to show any fear.
Contrary to her fears that he would kill her, he just cocked his head at her slightly and then turned his back on her.
Poison Ivy blinked in surprise, her mind replaying the arrogant dismissal she'd just received.
Meanwhile, the horned blond had sliced apart the cell next to her own, which held the Joker's chief henchwoman and her only friend Harley.
A short while later, both women were standing together just outside their cells, staring nervously at the much taller man who seemed to be deep in thought as he stared at them.
"What am I going to do with you two? You're both supposedly really bad girls, but you don't feel like really bad girls and I don't like killing girls anyway." They caught him muttering, making them exchange confused glances.
"What did you do to mistah J?" Harley demanded a bit shakily and quailed when he turned his eyes on her.
"You mean the ugly clown?" Naruto asked curiously. As far as he knew, the only guy around here whose name started with a 'J' was the Joker.
"Uh...yeah." Harley confirmed, not wanting to argue about her boss being an ugly clown with this clearly dangerous...whatever he was.
"Cut his head off, I fucking hate clowns." He answered bluntly, making the woman recoil at the casual barbarity of it.
"What do you want?" Ivy asked cooly. Harley seemed to be suffering a mild breakdown due to the Joker's death, which wasn't surprising given the woman's obsession with the insane clown. Ivy was personally rather pleased that he was dead.
She had little doubt that they were among the last criminals left alive in Arkham if his claim of killing the Joker was any indication. The fact that she and Harley were still alive probably meant that Uzu still had some use for them. If they made themselves useful to him, they might be able to eventually get away from him.
Though Ivy couldn't deny that she was intrigued by his powers, so she might not be opposed to sticking around if she felt it to be worth it.
"Well, I was going to kill you both, but I'm not getting any particularly evil vibes from you, so I've changed my mind on that." The words made Ivy relax ever so slightly. Harley was still dealing with her little breakdown.
"Maybe you'd be interested in a threesome? Batgirl was pretty harsh with her refusal of my propositioning and my fragile ego could use a boost." Naruto asked brightly.
Ivy almost snorted at that, putting his apparent attraction for Batgirl aside for now. She had the distinct feeling that Uzu's ego was anything but fragile. Still...it would be an easy way to poison him...
"Don't worry about your poisons either, they won't work on me."
Well...so much for that plan.
"They might not work on you, but they would work on Harley just fine." She said dryly, hiding just how nervous she was.
"That's true." Naruto said musingly. "And I seem to have broken her by killing the ugly clown, so she's probably going to need your help, which means you're not going to be available for some sex either." He finished with a sigh. That clown had been a real piece of work and definitely needed to die, but he didn't like seeing a woman looking that lost and broken.
Neither of the two women really felt evil, though he knew that they weren't entirely good people either. Naruto could hardly judge them for that though, considering that he wasn't exactly a paragon of justice himself.
Ivy remained silent, just staring at him warily, though she did move to give Harley a slight, one armed hug. Her earlier thoughts of intrigue by his powers were being rapidly eroded by his seemingly one track mind. It was like he didn't think of anything but sex and killing.
"Screw it then." He shrugged after thinking it over for a bit. "You're free to go, just try not to hurt random innocents and I won't have to change my mind."
"And who would you classify as random innocents?" Ivy asked cautiously.
"You know, just regular people going about their lives and the like." Naruto replied airily.
"Does that include humans who harm nature?" She asked, trying to get a feel for his beliefs on the subject.
"Most people don't do any deliberate harm to nature." He responded. "Besides, I don't know why you're getting so bent out of shape, humanity is going to go extinct long before they manage to kill nature and you're going to be dead long before either happens."
"Someone has to protect nature from their predations!" She responded heatedly, forgetting her fear of him for a moment.
He grinned at her obvious passion on this subject. "Suit yourself, I'm just saying that your impact is going to be minimal no matter what, especially when you're discrediting yourself by acting in an obviously criminal manner."
She fumed silently at him but said nothing.
"Anyway, You'll want to get going if you want to escape Batgirl's sexy grip...and those two lunkheads she travels with I suppose."
Poison Ivy frowned at the words, knowing them to be true. While she led Harley through the somewhat bloodied hallways(full of unconscious guards), she had to wonder at Uzu's fixation on women...or was it just Batgirl?
Naruto hummed to himself as he floated invisibly in the sky and observed the beehive of activity in the slaughterhouse formerly known as Arkham Asylum.
He was honestly confused by all this fuss over the lives of criminals who had proven over and over that they had no intention of ever turning over a new leaf. Ah well, maybe they'd get a clue once they realized how much better things were with those assholes dead.
Still, it had been an amusing distraction, especially messing with Batgirl.
Now it was his turn to lay low and let Xanna do her part in their game of 'Mindfuck the Heroes'.
Well, there goes the first chapter of what is most likely going to be a two chapter story at best.
I was undecided if I should even post this one, or if I should try writing in a universe I'm more familiar with but in the end I decided to just post it and hope for the best. I was fairly undecided about posting the first chapter for "Reaching for a Dream" too, but that turned out remarkably well, so here's to hoping I didn't flub out on my first crossover attempt :P.
On another note, I know that many people have been hoping that I would make a crossover with Highschool DxD or Bleach, but I've never watched either Anime or read either Manga, so I'd need to get familiar with those before I can attempt something like that. I might do that one day, but for now it's not going to be possible.
Ah, and don't forget to review xD.