Hey there, some buddies of mine have historically decided to make harems centered on Ben; Bigby the Big Bad Wolf, Judge Royce, Rexfan1333. I wanted to see what the fuss was about, so here's my efforts at the idea. Tonda Gossa!


"I'm telling ya, Rook, sometimes you just gotta go with the flow." Ben sighed as he struggled to explain his viewpoint to his partner. "Rayona's mad and you don't have any clue why, so just kiss up to her for a bit and the problem should go away in a week or two."

"I am not denying that you make a valid, logical, and reasonable argument, Ben." Rook reassured him calmly as he steered the Proto-TRUK through Bellwood. "However, you know better than I or most other people on the planet that logic and reason seldom work when dealing with your girlfriend."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Ben asked Rook suspiciously.

"I am simply stating that between Julie, Ms. Nocturne, Ester, Looma, Attea, Kai, Elena, Eunice, an untold number of fangirls, and other members of the female species, you have more experience dealing with amorous women than any other person I know." Rook remarked.

"Low blow, dude." Skulked Ben. "And Jennifer and I weren't even really a thing! It was just a publicity stunt, and that's not even getting into what a huge ball of crazy she was, and still is for that matter."

"Hate to interrupt this scintillating conversation, but I have something I'd like to bring to your attention." Professor Paradox remarked as he suddenly appeared in the back of the Proto-TRUK.

"GAH!" Startled Ben, nearly jumping out of his seat. "Professor Paradox, do you think you could warn a guy next time?" Ben remarked irritably once he settled himself.

"Actually, this time I did send an advanced notice." Paradox corrected.

"That is true," Rook nodded, not even phased by the Professor's appearance. "Magister Tennyson mentioned it this morning. Apparently the Professor is trying to maintain a more orderly profile ever since the Time War."

"Seriously?" Ben asked in astonishment. "How come I didn't hear about this?"

"Were you paying attention to the briefing this morning?" Rook asked, already aware of the answer.

"Hey, I have you for that stuff." Ben defended himself weakly. "Besides, when a problem actually comes up, that's when I deal with it."

"And that works for you?" Rook asked sarcastically.

"It's worked well for me ever since I was ten, why shouldn't it keep working now?" Ben shrugged, turning his attention back to Paradox as he did so. "So, just out of curiosity, what exactly brings you hear today, Professor? Since you usually only show up for the really, really big stuff, I'm guessing it's something along the lines of Eon and Vilgax teaming up to kill all the Bens in every dimension, and not Sssserpent and the Vreedle Brothers teaming up to rob a candy store."

"Those two will get to that eventually, but that's not what I'm hear for right now." Paradox remarked casually, either ignoring or not caring about the concerned looks Ben and Rook were giving him. "The reason I've come hear today is that there's a young entrepreneur looking to fragment the space-time continuum for his own humorous ends. Not all that dangerous, considering small scale damage like this will easily repair itself in a few days, but I figured I should at least warn you to be on the lookout for any strange occurrences in the near future." He said calmly.

"And... how exactly are we supposed to stop this guy?" Ben asked quizzically.

"Frankly, I'm not all that certain there's anything we can do about it." Paradox shrugged sheepishly. "As I mentioned before, there are places I cannot go, things I cannot do, and honestly the perpetrator behind this event knows me well enough to prepare for my interference."

"But does he know us well enough to prepare for our interference?" Rook asked slyly, Ben giving him an approving nod for how his mind was working right now.

"Possibly, I'm not entirely sure myself." Paradox remarked as he checked a non-existent watch on his mechanical arm. "If you're going to try and stop him, I'd hurry off to the nearest Mr. Smoothies. He plans to fracture the time-space continuum there. Ta-ta!" And in a flash of light, the confusing immortal scientist with a British accent was gone.

"We really need to put a bell on that guy." Ben deadpanned the moment the professor was gone. "Well, you heard the man Rook. Set a course for Mr. Smoothies."

"Just once, I wish we could go a whole day without mentioning that place." Rook scowled slightly as he entered the destination in the GPS. "Your obsession with smoothies is psychologically unhealthy, and frankly, their mascot disturbs me."

"Who asked you?" Ben said sarcastically as he began fiddling with the Omnitrix, wondering which alien would be best suited to whatever they would be fighting today.

At Mr. Smoothies

"Hello there, my fine, uneducated friends!" A man dressed in a white longcoat, green flak jacket, black hakama pants, a brown fedora, and an orange scarf exclaimed excitedly, his missing left cheek making for a deranged and lopsided grin. "I bet you're all wondering what your old buddy Sallem Cortez is doing here at Mr. Smoothies, aren't you? Well, there's a question within a question, for you see, I'm here for a few very simple reasons, not the least of which is that I want to bomb this location off the map!" Taking a moment to think, he reconsidered before speaking in a more reserved tone. "Okay, maybe that actually is the least of my reasons for being here today. After all, I'm only here for two reasons, and compared to my other reason, tearing this place to pieces... Meh." He shrugged before reaching into his coat and pulling out a large, metallic, brown stake.

"Now then!" He continued, his earlier excitement returning. "Let's get started on Temporal Physics 101, shall we? We all know how those time travel movies go, right? There's really only two possible plots. The first is that you abuse time travel for fun and profit, and then you end up having to rush back in time and fix everything, so life goes back to the same mediocrity as you've ever known. The second is that you go back in time to prevent some world ending disaster, or cause it, either or. Well I'm about to show you a third way to have fun with time travel, right here and now! Isn't this the most exciting thing you've ever seen!?" He shouted maniacally.

"Uh, sir?" The nerdy looking cashier said tiredly. "You're holding up the line. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to either order something, or move aside."

Pouting at the lack of enthusiasm the cashier was showing, Sallem activated his rocket powered feet and hovered several feet in the air. "You work a minimum wage, dead end job, in a failing economy, you're suffering from a serious case of acne, I'm guessing you don't have a girlfriend, or much in the way of self-confidence, and with the growing population, dwindling of fossil fuels, and a tragic lack of interest in alternative fuel sources, you're going nowhere fast as both a species, and an individual." He deadpanned. "Whereas I'm the richest guy in the Galaxy, who makes more money in a day than you'll ever see in your entire lifetime." Having said his bit, he rocketed off to the roof of the restaurant."

Stupefied at the dressing down he'd been given, the cashier looked down at his uniform, then up at the impatient customers. "What am I doing with my life?" The cashier asked himself as he began taking orders, his day suddenly completely ruined.

"Americans, honestly." Sallem shook his head. "This is why Japan has you beat in the entertainment industry. Well, that and the hentai, but that's neither here nor there." Shrugging as he juggled the stake he was carrying, he waited for the familiar sight of the Proto-TRUK, and was happy to see it coming around the corner, just as he expected it to. "You never could let me just have anything for free, could ya Paradox?" He smirked as he jumped down from the roof, landing calmly on top of a table, causing the couple sitting there to panic and scramble. "Yeah, run away, ya goobers! The service here stinks anyway! Why do ya think I'm gonna blow this place sky high?!" He yelled just loudly enough that Ben was sure to hear, confirming the threat he posed and chasing off the civilians at the same time.

"I don't know who you are, or what your game is," Ben began as he got out of the truck and slid over the hood. "But don't even think about messing with the smoothies!" Activating the Omnitrix and slamming it down without looking, in a green flash he turned into Bloxx and threw an extending punch as Rook took aim and fired off a few laser blasts.

"Is this really the best you can muster?" Sallem remarked as he jumped atop the fist and weaved through a few lasers as he ran down his arm. Kicking Ben so hard in the face his head broke apart, he landed right behind the alien with casual ease. "You need to put a bit more thought into which aliens you use. Balance things out, change forms to suit situations, instead of situations to suit forms."

"Good advice." Admitted Ben when his head reformed. "That's why I always choose something that can really take a hit when fighting someone new." Launching another punch, Sallem managed to easily bob out of the way, but got blasted in the back of head by a grenade from Rook in the process, sending him flying face first into the pavement. "Yikes! Don't you think that's a bit harsh, Rook?" Ben winced at the damage.

"Not harsh enough, I am afraid." Rook said somberly as Sallem easily got back up, barely a scratch on him. "My scans showed that his body is largely composed of an unknown, hyperdurable alloy. I recommend that you use Atomix."

"Atomix?!" Sallem parroted in faux shock as he casually flipped the stake in his hand. "Doesn't that seem like overkill for little ole' me?"

"You seem to be aware of many, if not all of Ben's transformations." Rook reasoned. "In addition, in my experience working with Ben, when Paradox comes to warn you of something, it is advised to take the threat very seriously."

"True enough," Sallem shrugged as he slammed the stake into the air, causing glowing yellow cracks to appear in midair. "Tell you what, I'll rocket five blocks away, and if you can get three hits on me before I reach this stake and slam into it, I'll give up and leave the planet for good. How does that sound?"

"And what makes that stake so important?" Ben quirked an eyebrow.

"You won't need to find out if you can stop me." Smirked Sallem as he activated his rocket feet and flew off. "And don't bother trying to pull it out! That thing's stuck good!" He shouted behind him, arriving at a spot five blocks away shortly afterward, casually walking back to Mr. Smoothies once he landed.

"Oh, that thing's coming out." Bloxx debated as he stretched out his arms and grabbed the stake, grunting as he yanked as hard as he could, though after it refused to budge for several seconds, he relented with a sigh. "Okay, maybe it's not coming out. So I guess that means we have to beat up that guy then." He remarked as the duo turned to Sallem, the cyborg approaching the restaurant casually.

"Indeed," Rook nodded in agreement as he switched his Proto-Tool to bow mode and took aim. "And given the nature of the game, perhaps a form more suited to direct combat would be best."

"I don't need you telling me which alien to use." Ben grunted as he slapped the Omnitrix dial on his chest, turning into Kickin' Hawk. "I've been doing the hero thing a lot longer than you have." He reminded Rook sarcastically as he rushed Sallem, looking to get a few easy hits in while Rook backed him up with some cover fire. Not that the cover fire was really needed, since Sallem continued to casually walk to Mr. Smoothies, dodging each laser arrow with the minimum effort possible.

"You might want to try something with a full-auto setting!" Shouted the cyborg before dodging a manhole cover Ben had thrown at him. "Trust me, when you're up against me in a game like this, spray-and-pray is pretty much your best shot!"

"Pray this!" Ben growled as he launched a sweeping kick at Sallem's legs, only for the teenage cyborg to casually somersault over Ben. "What the-?" Ben remarked in shock before turning around and angrily launching a wicked elbow-thrust which would have sliced Sallem's arm if he didn't take a sudden big step forward. "Hold still for a moment!" The avian alien demanded as he launched a flurry of punches, kicks, and elbow strikes, all of which were barely avoided with ease each time. "Okay, this isn't working." He panted. "Time for a change in tactics!" He declared as he slammed the Omnitrix dial again, turning into Lodestar. "Let's see how the big, bad cyborg deals with his polar opposite!"

"Magnet puns, how witty." Sallem rolled his eyes tiredly, obviously unimpressed as Ben tried and failed to throw him around with magnetism, barely flinching as he dodged three blaster bolts in quick succession. "Just for the record, only an idiot would rebuild their own body with ferrous metals when they have other, more durable materials at their disposal. I mean really, there are metals out there that aren't attracted to magnets. Try something else, you only have three blocks until I'm at Mr. Smoothies, after all." He pointed out before spiraling around Rook, who'd decided to try his luck at close-quarters.

"You mean we only have three blocks to stop him before he does... whatever it is he's doing!?" Ben parroted in shock as he took notice of how far they'd gone in such a short time. "How did he get so close so fast?!"

"It seems as though he is penalizing us for each failed attempt." Rook noted. "I have noticed that he tends to move much more quickly when we are attacking him. We must think up a solid strategy, and strike with precision."

"At this point I'll try anything." Ben scowled, or as close to it as he could manage as Lodestar. "And I think I may just have an idea." He said slyly as he slapped the Omnitrix dial, turning into Spitter. "I slime him, you light him up." He instructed before inflating himself like a balloon, spraying a torrent of slime at Sallem.

Acting quickly, Sallem swerved left and right as the slime stream barely kept up with him. "Is that really the best you can do? I've seen ninja who fight better than that. Killed 'em too. All you did was get my boots dirty." He taunted as he held up his right foot to show the slime on the bottom, failing to notice Rook fire off a shot at one end of the slime trail, quickly lighting the whole thing on fire, and giving Sallem the hot feet. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Hot slime, hot slime!" He panicked as he danced off the flaming slime, dropping and rolling as soon as he was clear of the zigzagging fire path. "Note to self, Ben Tennyson & Rook Blonko serve as further evidence of opposites working together effectively." He deadpanned as he noticed Ben turn into Armodrillo, digging up a few pieces of pavement and throwing them all over the street in front of him. Between the rocks and the still burning fire trail, the street ahead of Sallem for the next block was a veritable obstacle course. "So that's you game, is it? Alright then, let's play." He said eagerly as he casually strolled forward.

"We have obstructed his path, and managed to land one hit on him." Rook noted. "Even so, it is obvious that he does not regard us as a threat. We may be able to use this to our advantage."

"Well, he's not exactly unjustified in that opinion." Ben admitted sheepishly. "We're throwing our best at him, and he just plows right through it. Any ideas?"

"I think I am getting one." Rook remarked thoughtfully as he observed the still burning slime. "Turn into Water Hazard, and spray the slime."

"Uhh, okay." Ben said uncertainly as he slapped the Omnitrix dial again. "But won't that just put out the fire? I thought the idea was to get in his way." Nonetheless, he did as he was told. Surprisingly, instead of snuffing out the flame, the torrent of water only spread the slime all over the street, spreading the fire along with it, and forcing Sallem to jump up on the chunks of heaved pavement. "Ohh, now I get it. It's like a grease fire." He realized.

"Indeed," Rook smiled as he rushed forward, jumping from pavement chunk to pavement chunk, catching up to Sallem and being careful to strike him with a jab just as he was jumping to another chunk untouched by the flame. "And I believe that's two hits we've got on you."

"Very nice, very nice." Remarked Sallem as he dismounted, landing on unmolested pavement. "Of course, now I'm only one block away from Mr. Smoothies. Do try not to bore me, I'm holding back as much as I can after all."

"I am so sick of your attitude." Ben remarked as he turned into Bloxx again, running towards Mr. Smoothies on his extending arms. "Let's see you get over this!" He taunted as he built himself up into a large wall, spanning from building to building, and towering six stories high.

"Please, give me something harder to work with." Sallem smirked as he bounded over twice as high as the wall in a single jump. However, just as he was about to land on the other side, he saw that the fast approaching ground was made of bright primary colors. Realizing with a shock that he'd been led into a trap, Sallem tried activating his rocket feet to fly away, but Ben managed to get in a strong punch to the gut before he could react. His fist shattered on impact, but it sent Sallem spiraling into the pavement, just a few meters from Mr. Smoothies.

"Close but no cigar." Smirked Bloxx as he turned back into Ben, standing triumphantly over Sallem as he pulled himself up and dusted off his sleeves. "Now I believe you said something about giving up and leaving Earth for good?"

"Yeah, I suppose I did say that." Sallem shrugged calmly, actually looking pretty happy at the turn of events. "I gotta admit, not many people could force me to use my cybernetic functions. Even if I was holding back the whole time, you did pretty well."

"Yeah, I guess we did, didn't we?" Ben remarked, always glad to get respect, even if it was from enemies. "Good job Rook. You were really in the zone today."

"Thank you," Rook accepted the compliment gratefully, before his expression turned to confusion. "Though I must admit, I am curious as to why Paradox saw you as enough of a threat to get involved. For all intents and purposes, you seem to be accepting your loss gracefully. Surely one of the greatest heroes in all of space-time should have more pressing concerns if this is all there is to defeating you."

"True," Sallem admitted with a smug look on his face. "There is a lot more to the threat I pose than meets the eye. In fact, I even have a back-up plan, just in-case you managed to stop me."

"Oh really?" Ben remarked as he activated his Omnitrix threateningly. "And what exactly is this back-up plan of yours? Because it's not gonna be any match for-" Slamming down the faceplate, he turned into. "The Worst?! Stupid Omnitrix!" Ben shouted at the emblem on his belly button.

"Plan B." Smirked Sallem, a simple looking remote in his hands. "Hack the Omnitrix, and go with Plan A anyway." Pressing a button on the remote, and cartoonishly large mallet appeared above the metal stake jammed into the air, and slammed down on it, sending glowing cracks branching out of it at massively FTL speeds.

"What did you do?!" Panicked Rook as he fired off several shots at Sallem, who didn't even bother to dodge this time, the lasers causing no damage to his skin.

"I fractured the entire space-time continuum." Sallem remarked happily. "In a few minutes, the cracks will reach the outer limits of the universe, and the damage will rewrite all of space-time."

"Why are you doing this?!" Demanded Ben as he turned himself back to normal. "You're gonna be destroyed along with the rest of the universe too, ya know!"

"Destroying the universe?" Sallem remarked, barely muffling his laughter. "Who would be stupid enough to do that? I'm just messing things up for a while. The damage will more or less undo itself in about a week, and we'll all get on with our lives, everything barely different from how it was before."

Pausing to look at each other in confusion, Ben and Rook tries to see if either of them could make heads or tails of the whole thing. "Seriously?" Ben remarked in astonishment. "If everything's gonna go back to normal in a week, why bother with all this in the first place?"

"It amuses me." Sallem shrugged nonchalantly. "Besides, just because everything's gonna go back to normal in a week, doesn't mean I can't have some fun messing with people during all the ensuing chaos. Which should be starting in 3... 2... 1... Now!"

Cutting off kind of abrupt there, don't ya think?

"I prefer to think of it as a cliffhanger." Shrugged Sallem.

So what's gonna happen now?

"This is a Harem story. What do you think is gonna happen?" Sallem smirked, his Cheshire-like grin the last thing visible as the screen faded to black.