I know it's been a while since I wrote to you. I feel really bad about it. I actually don't even know if you read these letters I sent you, but I do like writing to you anyway. This one will probably be a longer one that usual because it'll be my last unless you respond. It's not a threat or anything, but it makes me really sad when I don't hear from you. And it makes Amanda sad when I ask her for a stamp to send these letters and I really don't want to make her sad anymore. I know it's been like a year and a half since I last wrote, but I have a feeling it'll still make her upset. It's not that she doesn't want me to write to you, but I think she feels bad for me because you don't ever write back. I don't expect a response anymore. I'm fourteen. I know things now and one of those things is I know that I shouldn't be hopeful. I'm not writing this for a response, but I'm writing this because I want to talk to you. I mean, I do tell Amanda pretty much everything, but it's different because you had me for the first nine years of my life; I've only been with Amanda for like less than five.
I honestly don't know if I miss you, though. I mean, we never really had a good moment together. I wished that you hugged me or told me you loved me the last day that I saw you. But that day just reminded me of how mean you were to me and I wish you could have been nice, you know? I wish you would have agreed to Amanda's idea of coming to visit me in Los Santos because I think it would have been fun. We could have gone to the beach, went to Del Perro Pier and rode the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster, and maybe gone to the movies or something. I think with that arrangement, maybe we could have been friends and had a good relationship. But it's too late now because I do those things with Amanda now and I'd never give that up (except she refuses to ride the roller coaster because sometimes she can be totally boring).
I have to admit that when I started middle school, I started referring to Amanda and Michael as my mom and dad. I don't actually call them this, but when I refer to them I do. Like when someone invites me over I say "let me ask my parents" but when I ask, I say something like "Amanda can I go over my friend's house". Does that make sense? It's just easier that way so I don't have to explain everything.
Anyway, I'll talk about me for right now because you might be wondering what I've been up to. Well, I'm still involved in the theater but I also dance now. Dancing is probably my most favorite thing ever. I love the seriousness of ballet but I also like hip hop because that's a lot of fun. I really don't do any clubs at school. I like my activities outside of school. I'm also in all honor's classes, including math. I'm not very good at math, but I want to be in honors. This way, I can take advanced placement classes my senior year so I don't have to take math in college. So basically, I get college credit. I want to take as many as I can so I can graduate from college early and then I can do this master's program that only takes a year so I can be a professional dancer and maybe an actress. Not in movies, though. I love performing live too much. I want to learn how to sing opera. Random, right? It's super challenging and I suck at it right now, but I want the challenge! Margarita (basically my mentor) says that anyone can learn, you just have to have the will.
What else have I done? Well, one day, my mom and I (there I go again; I'm referring to Amanda. I'm writing in pen and crossing things out just looks super ugly) went horseback riding. She's funny because she always wants to try new things. I think it's because she doesn't work and gets really bored so she drags me to do all these funny activities with her. So, we go horseback riding most Sundays. I like it because it's relaxing. You should try it sometime. I think you'd really like it! She's definitely been more clingy to me ever since Tracey and Jimmy moved out. It's kind of annoying sometimes because hello, I'm fourteen! I need my space. But I don't complain and just let her enjoy it. I mean, I'm very grateful for everything my parents did and do for me. Amanda and Michael are great people and I wish you could have realized it.
My dad (Michael) is still a movie producer and he always says when I'm older I can star in his movies. But I want nothing to do with the Vinewood life. I want to be on stage in Liberty City! Anyway, sometimes I'll go golfing with him and Uncle Trevor (you probably remember him from my previous letters assuming you actually read them). Golf is incredibly boring but they let me drive the golf cart so who can pass that up? Dad (I mean Michael) won't let me drive his real car yet even though I think I'm fully capable, you know? Don't tell him, but sometimes Uncle Trevor lets me drive his truck when I visit him at his trailer! He says I'm a great driver and I totally believe him.
Speaking of Tracey earlier, she got married to Jaylen. My friend, Dinusha (and his sister) saw it coming ever since we first saw them together. She got married about a year ago and I wish you came. We sent you an invitation, but you never showed up. Why? I mean, it was a super fun wedding. And I got to sing during the after party thing. I think it's called a reception. I made Uncle Trevor dance with me and I swear the man has two left feet. You should have seen Tracey's dress. It was so pretty and over the top, but she is over the top so it looked great on her. Now we're just waiting for her to start having babies but she says that'll never happen. Yeah, right. I give her another couple years max before she starts having them. Oh yeah, and she was the first person in our family to graduate from college! How awesome is that?
Jimmy somehow has a girlfriend. None of us are sure how, but she's also into videogames. Hopefully they both keep their jobs and their apartment and don't get super addicted to videogames and lose everything. I saw that on TV once and it was kind of shocking that some people died because they refused to get up to eat and drink and stuff and stayed in front of the computer playing games. How weird is that? Kind of sad, too. So far he and his girlfriend are doing great and my mom is waiting for him to propose (oops, Amanda. See? I do that a lot).
What else? Oh, everyone things my friend Jason and I are dating. We're only friends! I don't know how many times I need to remind people of that. Dinusha says me and him will get married someday and I'm kind of scared because she's usually right about that stuff. At least it's Jason, though. I'd rather marry my best friend anyway. I mean, the thing is I really want to focus on my career which is why I don't date right now. Of course, dad is super happy about this and gets happy when I say I'm going to be career oriented.
I really am working really hard to be a dancer. I'm going to do it and my name will be in lights in Liberty City. So, if you ever do go to Liberty City in like ten years and you see Erica De Santa in bright lights and posters everywhere, I'd love for you to come see my show. I doubt you will, but I'm foolish enough to hope for that.
But the thing is I think it's time for me to let go of you. I honestly don't really remember too much about anything from North Yankton. All my memories are painful and I tend to avoid them unless I visit the school psychologist when things are bothering me. I think this letter for me is some form of closure. I already feel better writing to you and at this point I know you won't respond but there is a small chance you might read it. Am I repeating myself? I'm not really sure at this point.
Anyway, I know we didn't really leave on the best of terms. I mean, you didn't want anything to do with me. I hate that you did that and I probably always will even though I'm trying to forgive you for it. Maybe someday I'll understand why you did what you did and I can move on from feeling this way. But I'd like to thank you. Does that make sense? I want to thank you for giving me up and letting me live with Amanda and Michael. They make me happy. I'm glad to call them my mom and dad. And I'm glad to call Tracey and Jimmy my sister and brother. I'm glad I don't have to worry about things other than my schoolwork and dancing. I can be a normal teenager. So, thank you for making it possible the day you signed me over.
My feelings about you are so jumbled up right now. Maybe you're right; we're better off never talking or seeing each other again. I think I can live with that despite everything else I wrote before. But could you please answer your phone or call my mom back (Amanda) when she calls you? I know she calls and leaves messages about how you're ignoring me and stuff and it makes her really sad. She doesn't know I know this, though, so don't tell her. If you could, maybe you can just answer the phone for her? You don't have to answer for me, though, and I'll never try calling you on the phone. I'd rather send letters because I think I'd be super nervous if you did pick up and I did hear your voice again.
I think I'll end this letter here. I've said everything that needed to be said and I think this letter is long enough. And my hand is killing me! I should've typed this up, but I don't think it would be as personal. Enclosed in the envelope with this letter are pictures of me. I don't know if you'd ever want to see me again, but they're there just in case you want to see what I look like. And I don't want you to forget because my memory of how you look is already fading.
-Erica De Santa
Thank you so much to the people who supported this story, especially those from the very beginning, as well as the readers and especially my wonderful reviewers. This story was so much fun to write!
Now, I know a lot of you have been asking about a possible sequel to the story. I am strongly considering it and have somewhat of an idea of a plot. If you guys are interested, I'd love to write a sequel for all of you. If I do, it'll take place when Erica is in her early twenties. Would you be interested in that? Or should I leave this story without a sequel? Please PM or review and give me your opinions!
For now, I will probably start writing random GTA 5 one-shots so expect those in the near future!
Oh, and if you read this story from start to finish, you read 138 pages according to Microsoft word. If I were you, I'd feel super accomplished.