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The Case of the Wedding Jitters

Prologue


She's close enough to touch. And yet, I cannot.

She touches me, but I cannot touch back, not in the way I desperately crave to.

She touches me, she hugs me, she confides in me. But somehow, it is not enough.

It is never enough.

Everyday, she's here beside me, but she doesn't see me.

All she sees is this little boy.

This boy who had become my refuge and my prison.

This little boy who had taken away all that I loved and treasured.

This little boy who made sure that all that I was is wiped away, and all that remained is an empty shell.

Everyday, the pain in my heart gets to be a little more unbearable each day.

But it will never measure to the pain she is suffering.

She is suffering.

I know that.

But is she lamenting the loss of a lover, or that of a best friend?

Guilt eats at me.

Though I would never want to hurt her, there is a part in my heart that wishes for her to miss me, to pine for me, to wait for me.

Is that so bad?

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

I do not even know if I can go back to the way I was.

And even without that certainty, is it greed to wish that she wait for me?

But I cannot help the way I feel, any more that I can change my situation.

Even if a part of me knows that she would be better off if she meets someone new and move on, a greater part of me revolts at the idea. She is mine, as I am hers. We belong together.

Together.

But what am I to do when she finally gets over me?

What am I to do when she meets someone new?

What am I to do when she moves on?

What am I to do without her?

She is my life.

She is my heart.

She is my soul.

Maybe it's the time to stop thinking and start acting.

I will not let anyone take her away from me, not even destiny, or fate, or chance.

I will move mountains to be with her again.

I will not fail.

I will not fail.

I will come back.

Shinichi would come back.

For her…