A/N: Hey, so this fic is loosely based off a song called You Don't Need To Love Me from a musical called If/Then. You might know it or you might not, but you should listen to it to get a vibe of the story. And it's not based of the musical at all, just solely the song and what the message is. I changed things around so it would be different than the musical, but the song still kind of goes with this. Just wanted to make it clear.
Chapter 1 - New York City
New York City. What's not to love? The hustle and bustle. The towering buildings that make you feel so small, yet; you can't help but adore the feeling of being overpowered by these objects. This beautiful city can tear you down time after time, but really, you love everything about it.
Beca was walking down the busy streets of the West Village. She knew it like the back of her hand. Beca's lived in the city her whole life and she would never want to live anywhere else. She's a popular night club owner with her best-friend, Jesse. Beca had always had a certain passion for music ever since she was young. She grew to love Deejaying and mixing songs more than anything. Mostly for a special someone. It's a great stress relief for her, personally. She would DJ every once in awhile at her club or private parties, but over the years she seldom found her self having the desire to mix her own songs.
After losing the love of your life, it's hard to find the spark in what you loved. The memories of the great things you did together and the feelings you get while doing what you once loved. All the linked memories. Gone.
Suddenly, as she was strolling down the street her phone started to ring and she had to rummage for it in her bag. "I really need to remember which pocket I put this piece of crap in." Beca mumbled. Once she finally found it she picked up right away, not noticing it was an unknown number.
"Hello?" Beca said, slightly irritated.
"Hi." A small voice said. "Is this Beca?"
Beca stopped dead in her tracks with wide eyes and an open mouth, which earned a few groans and, "keep walkings." from the other walkers.
She had a blank expression on her face. I know that voice. "Who is this?" Beca asked.
"Chloe?" Beca said hesitantly.
"Yeah, it's me." Chloe said, also slightly hesitant.
Beca started to walk again. "We haven't talked in almost five years," She said quietly. "How do you even have my number?"
"I know," Chloe sheepishly said. "I'm sorry."
"So, how did you get my number?" Beca asked again.
"I talked to your friend Aubrey and got it. If you remember Stacie, I mean, of course you do. Shes your friend, too. Still is. They know each other, and now Aubrey dates Jesse apparently."
Beca laughed slightly. "I know who my friends are and what the situation is."
"Oh, I know. And you would also know Stacie and Aubrey are friends as well and I got Aubrey's number from her. But, thats beside my point." Chloe said.
"Right." Beca simply said.
"All that's behind us and I just wanted to let you know that I'm moving back to the city."
Beca's eyes closed momentarily and she tried to keep the joyous screech from leaving her lips. "When?" She decided on.
"Next week. Friday actually is when I'll be settled. I was hoping we could... get together? We were best-friends our whole lives and it's terrible that we haven't spoken in so long. I mean, I know this is really all my fault and I probably shouldn't even be talking to you, but-"
Beca cut her off, "You're rambling. I guess that hasn't changed much." Beca said with a smirk.
Chloe laughed lightly. She could hear the evident smirk in Beca's soft voice. "I really miss you, Becs." Chloe said genuinely.
Beca kept walking and had no idea what to say. She missed Chloe. Oh God, how she's missed Chloe. She can't even begin to count the sleepless nights shes had thinking about nothing but Chloe. But things happened and feelings were hurt. Even though Chloe wasn't the one to ignore her and break all connections, she was the one who packed up and left without a real rhyme or reason. But maybe Chloe's right? That's behind them.
"I really miss you too, Chlo. You have no idea." Beca said quietly with a grin etched on her face.
"Well, I'll call you next week when I'm settled and we can get together?" Chloe asked hopeful.
Beca reached her destination at her usual coffee shop and smiled to herself. "Yeah, I'd love that." She said and walked in.
"Good. Oh, and it's really nice to here your voice. I've missed it." Chloe said and hung up.
Beca was grinning like the Cheshire Cat as she walked up to a table Jesse and his girlfriend Aubrey were occupying.
"What's got you smiling, midget?" Aubrey asked.
"Chloe's moving back to the city!" Beca squealed. "Next week!" Beca added as she sat down. "I can't believe it! I've missed her so much!"
Beca never squealed, so Aubrey and Jesse broke out into laughter.
After calming down a bit Jesse said, "Chloe? The Chloe you and I have known for almost our whole lives? How did she get your number?"
Aubrey ducked her head slightly as Beca motioned to her.
"You gave Chloe Beca's number?" Jesse asked, with a slight snark in his voice.
Aubrey nodded. "At first I didn't. She basically begged me. I could hear the pout in her voice. She explained how close her and Beca were, and that she needed to speak to her."
Jesse scoffed and looked back to Beca's smiling face. "Why are you so happy? If the love of my life was coming back to town after what she did to you, I would be furious that she called me. She's the one who practically broke your heart. She ripped it out and stomped on it without a care in the word."
"I know." Beca sighed. "But I haven't talked to her since she left. And it's just great to know she is going to be back. I mean, she was my best-friend for sixteen years." Beca stated.
"Still. She fucked you over." Jesse said.
"Not necessarily." Aubrey interjected. "Chloe never knew the way you felt about her from what I've heard."
Aubrey and Jesse met and started dating about three years ago. A long time friend of Jesse and Beca's, Stacie, had known Aubrey from college and introduced Jesse and Aubrey. Beca being best-friends with Jesse became friends with Aubrey. It was a slow and painful process, but they each can say they're best-friends now. Although, Aubrey hasn't met Chloe, the only thing she knows about the mysterious red head is that Beca was head over heels in love with her, and basically still is.
"Well-" Jesse laughed. "Anyone could've seen that Chloe and Beca were in love. They did everything together since they were four. I can't even count the number of times they were mistaken for a couple or for being called cute together. In high school, everyone thought they would be together in the long run. They looked like love sick puppies half the time. And then five years ago when Chloe ran away with her "boyfriend" it went down hill." Jesse said coldy. "I swear, Chloe is the biggest bitch."
"Hey, she is not!" Beca retorted.
"You still love her, huh?" Jesse asked knowingly. "She fucked you over big time. How can you still love her?"
Beca nodded. "It's pathetic. But something about Chloe I can't let go. We literally hadn't talked since the day she left five years ago until today. But I've thought about her nonstop. I've worried about her more than I worry about myself. I've thought about calling her more times than I can count, but something stopped me every time." Beca said. She took breath and continued. "Even if she never felt the same, I would just be happy to be there for her like I had been since we were four years old. Be her best friend. Her emergency contact. Her plus one if she needed me. Because, she always needed me." Beca stated.
Aubrey and Jesse looked at the young brunette sadly. Just talking about Chloe made Beca's whole facade of the badass die hard chick wash away.
"And then suddenly, she didn't. She didn't want to be my best-friend. She could've cared less if I was her emergency contact. Or if I was her occasional plus one. And then one day, it all stopped. No calls for weeks. No going to Central Park and walking through it like we would do every Thursday just because. Because we loved it. Because we loved to see the hundreds of tourists, and even natives who knew absolutely nothing about it, but looked as if they knew what this city was all about. No walking down Broadway and admiring the shows that we, well more Chloe-" Beca said with a small laugh. "She wanted to see but couldn't possibly afford. No walking by the marquees and gawking over how badly Chloe would have absolutely loved to be on that stage." Beca said quietly.
"I love her and I would do anything for her back then and I still will." She said sternly.
After a moment she chuckled. "I remember for her eighteenth birthday I took her to see her first show and she was so happy. I think that's when I really fell in love. Seeing her be just, so subliminal. I knew from then on I wanted to be the cause of that euphoria she felt. And I would do anything in my being to make her that happy."
"I want to meet her." Aubrey simply said.
"Oh, I have a feeling you two would hit it off well." Beca said sarcastically.
Jesse nodded. "I think you could be best buds."
Aubrey laughed. "Well, if she hurts Beca again then I'm not so sure."
"I don't think she will. I've always been platonic towards her and she's been that way towards me. If we start over we should work." Beca said sternly.
Jesse laughed loudly, earning a red face from Beca. "You're kidding, right? You two were always all over each other. And everyone knows that Beca Mitchell isn't a touchy person, but shit, when you and Chloe were together you couldn't keep your hands off one another."
Aubrey raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."
Jesse laughed and Beca glared at him.
"That's just how Chloe was; probably still is." Beca said. "She's a touchy person."
"Yeah, with you! Chloe was never up on me like that. Or Stacie, Amy or Lily-" Jesses face lighted up. "Oh shit!" Jesse said with laughter. "I remember one specific time. It was senior year and Beca and Chloe of course were together, with their hands intertwined and walking with our group of friends. Some idiot guy came up to them and started harassing them-"
Beca scowled. "Ugh, this story is terrible. Say a better one. I protect Chloe, blah, blah, blah. Chloe kisses my cheek like always. Yeah."
Aubrey giggled. "I still want to hear a story about your red head."
"She's not mine. She's this Tom guys we've never even met. I still don't see why my best-friend didn't tell me they were together." Beca coldy said.
"I think it was because it was the first person she ever dated." Jesse stated.
"What?" Beca said.
"Wasn't it? You two never dated people in high school cause you had each other. I don't see why you two didn't just date. I wouldn't be surprised if you two had never kissed another person until she "dated" him." Jesse said. "I don't know if you would consider it dating?"
"You guys kissed!?" Aubrey asked with her mouth open.
"Oh yeah, they kissed during spin the bottle. But I'm pretty sure that's it." Jesse stated.
Beca nodded sheepishly. Jesse and Aubrey looked to one another and laughed. "What other times did you two kiss?" Aubrey asked.
"Uh, there's actually three more times." Beca sheepishly said.
"Three!?" Jesse gawked, "And you never told me?"
Beca nodded with a small smile. "When we were fourteen, we both hadn't ever kissed any guys or really anyone. And neither of us wanted to. I guess that's the gay thing on my part and half the bisexual part for Chloe? Anyway, we thought hey why not? We're best-friends. So, we kissed."
Jesse mouth parted and Aubrey smiled.
"That's so adorable." Aubrey said.
"It wasn't much. Just a peck. But Chloe looked at me weird after for a while. She looked at me with like, this shy, cute smile. And I was young so I had no clue why. But now I feel like she liked me. Probably not, but yeah."
"And the other two?" Aubrey asked.
Beca laughed at the memory. "One time when were were sixteen we were waking through Central Park and she randomly kissed me."
"Just randomly?" Jesse asked.
"Yeah. I was so shocked and she didn't talk to me for the rest of the walk. She said it was cause there was mistletoe. But it wasn't even Christmas." Beca said. "And you know what? I've never kissed her. Sure, I've kissed her back, but she was the one to initiate the kiss each time."
Aubrey and Jesse seemed shocked with the new information.
"The last one is the best one." Beca said.
They nodded, letting her go on.
"I think you might know this story Jesse." Beca said before recalling, "We were twenty. It was actually the last time we saw each other. Her and I were out ice skating and we had just finished. I was putting my boots on while she used the bathroom and a guy started to talk to me. It was harmless too, all he said was that my coat was falling apart. I guess when Chloe came back she saw and she literally said, "Hey, babe." And kissed me. It was-" Beca's eyes filled and she smiled. "I can't even begin to explain it. She kissed me so passionately and I could've worn the world stopped. After that things actually got bad between us."
Jesse looked astonished as Aubrey smiled sadly. "Chloe was jealous." Jesse barely said.
Beca nodded. "I think so."
Jesse shook his head. "Why haven't you told me those stories?"
Beca tensed. "It's hard to talk about. She gave me so many reasons to make me think she felt the same way. And then all of a sudden she just- was gone."
"Are you going to tell her how you feel?" Jesse asked.
Beca scoffed and shook her head. "What's the point?" She shifted. "No, I'm not going to. I will try to be her friend and those feelings I've tried to repress, those feelings-" Beca shook her head again, "it's not worth it to bring them back up."
Jesse nodded sheepishly and looked to Aubrey.
"Well, ok. Tell another story. This is so interesting!"
"Well, how about I actually tell the one when you two decided to play spin the bottle with Amy, Stacie, Lily and everyone and when it landed on Chloe-"
"It's not a big deal." Beca quickly said with a glare. "Like I said, I loved her and she had this spell over me or something, I swear." Beca said.
Jesse looked at Aubrey and made a 'whoosh' sound while making whip motions with his hand. "After all these years, Chloe still has her whipped."
Aubrey laughed and once she saw Beca's facials she calmed down. "I'm sorry, Becs, but you are so whipped." Aubrey said.
Beca shrugged. "Like I said, I'm happy to be there for Chloe. As a friend more than ever now. I don't think I could take another heart break."
They nodded. "How is Noelle?" Jesse asked hesitantly.
Beca's eyes closed momentarily and she let out a breath. "I guess she's fine."
Beca has dated two girls in the time Chloe's been gone, much to her dismay. She didn't want to date anyone, but Jesse insisted. Beca and Chloe never even dated but Beca felt weird dating other women. I mean, Chloe and Beca were basically a couple without the label and sex. The first girl was about two years after Chloe left. Her name was Camille and it was merely a fling with a one night stand. Beca's first time, actually. This girl Noelle is a bit more serious. They've been causally dating for three months. Beca likes her, sure, but she's just not Chloe.
"How are things with her?" Aubrey asked.
Beca shrugged. "Same as always."
"If you're not happy with her why don't you break up?" Aubrey asked. "I mean, do you even have feelings for her?"
"Well, I do have a feeling I won't ever be happy with anyone unless it's Chloe, so I might as well just try." Beca said. "Plus she's really sweet and she doesn't deserve to have me just dump her because I'm pathetically still in love with a other women, who clearly could give to fucks about me." Beca lashed.
Beca's feelings were mixed. She loved Chloe. She loved Chloe more than she loves her self. But at the same time, she finds herself lashing her words every once in awhile when talking about the red head.
Jesse and Aubrey nodded.
I really hope Chloe comes to her senses once she's back in the city and admits her love for Beca. Jesse thought.
Later that night after working and checking up on the club Beca was sitting in her bedroom casually drinking a beer thinking about none other than Chloe.
As she flipped through the TV channels she couldn't help but let her mind wander to how Chloe's been.
I wonder if she's still with Tom. Yes, of course she is. Even though she didn't mention him, who knows? Maybe she just feels bad for fucking me over and leaving me for a guy she met a month before.
Beca shook her head. NO, what the hell Beca? She wasn't yours in the first place.
Suddenly, her phone started to ring and she got really excited, hoping it was Chloe.
ITS CHLOE. Wait, no it's Noelle. Damn. Wait? Ugh, Beca you should be happy to get a call from your girlfriend.
"Hey, babe. Don't sound so happy to talk to me."
Beca shifted so her legs were out in front of her and her head was rested on the headboard. "Sorry. Long day."
"Well, anyway we haven't seen each other in a few days and I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner on Friday night? I know it's a week away, but I'm swamped with work."
"Oh, yeah. Sounds-" Chloe.
"Is that ok?" Noelle asked.
Shit. Chloe. Fuck! No, it's not ok.
"I'm meeting an old friend that day. Uh, do you think we could have dinner Saturday?"
"Oh, of course. I'll text you tomorrow! Goodnight."
"Night." Beca said and hung up.
Of course. Beca sighed. Things just have to go that way. Right? Chloe waltzes back in and just takes over again.
"I am a mess."
Chloe destroys me and pools me into a big mess. She is insufferable in the best way possible. But I love her. And I can't not love her.