The Hammer

An Avengers One Shot by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. "The Avengers" is the property of Disney, Marvel, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Please support the official release.


In the quarters of Thor aboard the Helicarrier...

"... And thus did I smite the great troll, with a final blow of my hammer!" Thor finished his tale, posing dramatically with his hammer. Jane Foster frowned in a bit of concern from the bed she was sitting on.

"You didn't kill him, did you?" She asked. Thor shook his head.

"Nay, nay! I would have lost an able sparring partner! I merely stunned him so that when he might awake, he would be in a foul enough mood to challenge me again!" Thor grinned and set Mjolnir down, the enchanted hammer humming gently. He sat down next to Jane Foster. "Even before I met you, I would not so easily slay a troll who proved himself a worthy foe."

"I see," Jane said with a smile. "You think... You think you could let me see your world, some day?" She asked a bit shyly. Thor laughed happily, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Ah!"

"Of course, Jane Foster! A clever being such as yourself coming to Asgard? You will have me as your personal escort," Thor grinned. "Across Asgard's fields and city I will take you! Such wonders you will behold!"

"Ah, well, that's great," Jane said, nuzzling into Thor's side. "Mmm... Though I can think of a few other wonders I'd like to behold right now," she said with a naughty grin. Thor frowned.

"... Would you like me to show you my hammer again?"

Jane couldn't help it. She laughed into Thor's chest, practically cackling. Thor blinked.

"... I'm afraid I don't understand Midgardian humor, what is so funny?"

"Heheheheh... Not... Not quite what I meant," Jane said with flushed cheeks, "but I'm thinking a different sort of... Hammer."

Thor blinked a few more times. Jane sighed.

"Let me show you, hm?"


Several hours later, Steve Rogers and Tony Stark were walking down the corridor of the Helicarrier. Steve was in his more subdued standard uniform, while Tony was in an AC/DC shirt and jeans.

"You know, I don't see why they have to call me in every single time they have an emergency. I've got a life of my own, stuff to do, my own villains to smash," Tony grumbled. "They could consult via this amazing thing called the telephone. I mean, you've heard of it so obviously they have..."

"What, you don't like visiting Fury and the rest?" Steve asked with a grin. "Popping by to hit on attractive SHIELD agents?"

"If I want to hit on attractive SHIELD agents, I've got plenty to choose from in my company," Tony snorted. "Besides, the only reason I come out here is when you all are here, and you are all more than welcome to come to the tower. One with a great big 'A' on the side of it." He shook his head at Steve's chuckling. "So, why is Thor taking so damn long anyway?"

"Guess we'll find out," Steve said. He knocked on the hatch to Thor's quarters aboard the helicarrier. "Thor? You there?"

There was some movement behind the door, before it opened. Thor greeted them... And Steve immediately covered his eyes as Tony looked away, for the Thunderer was wearing nothing but a broad grin.

"Greetings friends! What do you need of me?"

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Pants, Thor, pants. They're a wonderful invention and you definitely should grab yours," Tony coughed. "That's the first thing we need of you!"

"We've... Got a mission, but I see you're a bit indisposed," Steve said a bit more delicately. Thor looked down, and then back up. He was still grinning.

"Ah, yes... Sorry, Jane Foster was showing me wonderful things to do with my..." And here Thor raised his eyebrows. "hammer."

His fellow Avengers were silent. Thor blinked, confused, before his grin returned to his face.

"The hammer in this case is my pen-"

"Yes Thor, we get it!" Tony shouted.


An old joke, but a good one.