So here it is, my next story; short chapters, edited by me, foul, and zero seriousness. It's written 'diary style', so, rarely, will you see anything "poetic" in here. That being said, it doesn't mean I won't try to be grammatically correct at all times. Here it goes. You might think I'm joking, but I warned you. Hold onto your seat folks, it's going to be an .. interesting ride.

Lessons of a Mad Pregnant Woman

I've never been one to keep a record of my life's events. Truthfully, I've never deemed my life interesting enough to write it down on paper. But as of lately, my life has taken an unexpected turn. So now, I vow to document my days in hopes of emphasizing just how precious they are. Looking back on my own experiences, I've realized that there's so much in the world that I have missed. I would hate for you to miss it too.

You won't be able to read this for a while, for various reasons. For starters, I seem to have a vulgar mouth and a lack of filter. But I suppose you'll realize this as you read on. That is, assuming, when you read this. I don't even know how I'll go about giving this to you –but the point is, I want you to have it. Some people go through life wishing that they'd had guidance, or a rule book for life. This is my guidance. This is my way of preparing you for a world that can bring you joy, heartache, anger, and… more joy. Take my words and heed them; I promise they'll help … okay, most of them will help. The rest will be completely useless, but entertaining. And, God forbid, there should ever be a time when I'm not there, you have something to look back on.

So what's my first piece of advice?

Tip: Remember that there is always someone who loves you. No matter how low you feel, or how alone you think you are, there is at least one person who loves you. In this case –it's me. Don't forget that.

Love, MPW