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Bath Time

(Or otherwise known as 'Integra's Revenge')


She must have it. Pure and simple. Her conscience demanded that she take it while her heart burned for it.

In the centre of a spacious office stood a massive oak desk. Behind that desk was a luxurious leather bound executive chair. And sitting upon that chair was the woman in question who desired that vengeance. To any casual observer her composure seemed impassive as a marble statue's, but only those who knew her well, to the two who had known her since she was a young girl, only they could perceive how she was seething with fury inside. They would note the many indications of her rage, such as the way her jaw muscles flexed, or the way she gnashed at the cigar between her lips and how beneath round spectacles her blue eyes seemed to have an unearthly glow about them.

'Must get revenge: must kill Alucard. Must get revenge: must kill Alucard. Must get reven--'

In an attempt to staunch the torrent that was her thoughts, the fair-haired woman drew in deeply from the cigar. Holding in the smoke, she eventually released it slowly, imagining to herself that along with the smoke being exhaled was the rage that was currently being suppressed. For she needed a clear mind to be able to launch an effective offensive. Also, a clear mind would point out the flaws in her main plan.

'PLAN: Kill Alucard (for good).

PRO: 1. It's the one thing that makes me happy. 2. I've always wanted to do it. 3. It does the whole world a favour.

CON: 1. End of HELLSING.



Damnation and Hellfire!!

That won't do, so what else is possible? As much as I want him dead, I cannot jeopardize HELLSING, England and the rest of the bloody world.  So now what? Fight fire with fire? Bah! Don't be childi--'

She abruptly stopped puffing on her cigar; in fact she seemed to have stopped doing anything altogether as most people do when struck by the sudden presence of an overwhelming thought/inspiration/idea/person-of-the-opposite-sex. For several moments she remained absolutely motionless.


Quickly picking up the handset of her phone, she gave orders to her faithful butler that she was retiring for the night and not to be interrupted by anything save for the call of duty or the 'Second Coming of Christ'. She also gave instructions that her 'pet vampyre' be sent to her office for she required to speak with him about certain issue. As always Walter listened patiently and had not questioned the any of the orders, but he knew what she referred to by 'certain issue'.

She again remained motionless for the next few moments, contemplating the encounter she was about to engage in. She then did something that would have even made her mad vampyre pet Alucard question her state of mental being.

Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing smiled. And it was an evil smile.

*          ~          *          ~          *          ~          *

Alucard slid out from the gloomy basement that was his residence and made his way to his Master's office. He knew why he was being summoned. He kept to the shadows of Hellsing Manor's many deserted hallways whenever possible, avoiding the more popular passageways, also knowing full why. Ever since Integra's 21st birthday a fortnight ago, gossip had spread like wildfire among Hellsing's armed forces about her 'present' from Alucard and the reckoning between the two. But the most gossiped about item (apart from the 'Marilyn Monroe-esque' birthday cake/present) was the method of how Integra 'thanked' Alucard.

With her pistol.

Now, Alucard seemed to have lost a considerable amount of his reputation due to that unfortunate backfire of his jest, which is why he had an aversion to the much used corridors filled with insolent soldiers sniggering as he passed by (even when he threatened them with death, they just imitated his limping shuffle). Alucard could not be certain, but he strongly suspected that Walter, his old 'brother-in-arms' and at (most) times object of much derision, had a hand in inspiring the HELLSING personnel to heights of impertinence.

When he reached the fourth floor of the Manor, which is completely devoted to the living quarters and personal chambers of the Hellsing family, Alucard entered (through the west wall) the massive office of Integra's that was also situated here. Her luxurious leather bound executive chair was empty. Odd. Integra was never one to be tardy for a meeting.

"You're here. Good."

Alucard turned to the source of the voice, expecting to see his Master with her pistol levelled at his head (Integra threatened to blast his head off almost every time they met so it was an ordinary occurrence between the two) or even worse, aimed at where Integra had shot him the previous time she pistol whipped him. But that was not to be the case for this particular time and the sneer on his angular face immediately dropped at the sight of her. Standing by the doors that lead to her personal chambers was Alucard's Master.

Integra was wearing a short white terry cloth bathrobe.

Now it did not matter that Integra was wearing a bathrobe in front of him (and Alucard certainly didn't voice any objections), her presence always commanded attention and respect (not that he gave her any). And even if she wore her favourite lingerie (a ravishing satin number that was his beloved colour red, though he was rather partial to the white lace) it was an axiom that would still hold true.

Though he was inwardly rejoicing at seeing Integra so 'dressed down', Alucard's keen senses for trouble immediately went into 'RED ALERT'. These particular senses, (courtesy of a vampyre's immortal standard of living) were incredibly honed to detect any whiff of danger, no matter how small, for the possessor often utilized them. What Alucard was being informed by his keen senses is that Integra would NEVER expose any part of herself in such a way that suggested lewdness (it was just a personality trait of Integra's that Alucard had observed within the years of knowing her, apart from being severely stern to the point of callous, Integra was the epitome of how conservative the British are), and seeing her now in her current state of dress contradicts her normal personality of being moderate, thus conveying the notion that concerning Alcuard's Master, all was not well.

Ergo 'twas best to be on guard, so cautiously Alucard proceeded. Rather than usually taunt his frigid Master, he asked with a hint of trepidation:

"Orders Master?"

"I have an exclusive assignment for you to carry out. But first, your instructions: you are not to speak throughout the duration of your charge. No questions, for this is a very straightforward task. No smart remarks, unwanted comments, evil maniacal laughter or even sniggering." She responded immediately, pausing to let all that to sink in before adding, "Above all, you are to follow every command I give you. I cannot stress this enough." In a harsh voice she proclaimed, "Is that understood?"

Alucard just blinked at her and raised an eyebrow. He must have realized what his task was to entail (judging by the bath robe) for his trademark smirk slowly spread across his lips. Damn, she forgot about that.

"And NO smirking either!" She waited until he complied. "Good. Now follow me."

And with that, Integra turned about face and marched into her private quarters, specifically towards her extravagant, stately bathroom (hey, it paid to be the leader of HELLSING as well as to be born into a dignified upper class family!). Alucard promptly followed her, his face showing impassive as Integra's, but his danger signal now going haywire despite the earlier show of his confident smirk. An unfamiliar sensation descended upon him with each step; unknowingly he had just been acquainted with the feeling of 'foreboding'. 'What do you have designed for me Master Integra?'

Integra eventually led him her private bathroom, a beautiful green marble tiled room filled with old paintings and was large enough for five 'Jacuzzis' should Integra be extravagant enough, though right now it contained a dozens of plants, a simple shower stall, two hand-wash sinks and a small spa fit for two. Walter insisted upon having the last item installed because Integra's General Practioner told him that "…she needs to relax due to her stressful occupation and what better way to relax than a nice hot spa? Besides, that woman also needs to be spoiled every once in a while…"

But the centerpiece of Integra's bathroom (and she was rather proud of it) was her bathtub. An immaculate white, enamel-coated tub big enough to let a person stretch out fully and deep enough for the water level to reach the shoulders. A particular feature of this tub was the four iron-cast 'lion paws' which acted as support stands for the hefty bathtub. The tub looked very inviting (even to Alucard who never needed to perform ablutions), for it was filled ¾ of the way with hot water, steam rising from the surface.

Integra didn't turn to look at him but merely tested the water's temperature as she instructed him to go back to her office and fetch her the day's memos, stating that she forgot to bring with her while she was giving him his instructions. Though Alucard suspected, as he retraced his steps to Integra's office, that she just wanted him out of the way while she slipped off the bathrobe while she herself slipped into the bathtub. 'Aww, she didn't want me to see her naked…well good to know that Master still has some dignity left heh heh heh…'

When Alucard returned to her (memos in hand), Integra was already in the tub as he had predicted (her hair up in a simple fashion that actually suited her magnificently or so Alucard thought), the bathrobe neatly hanging upon a peg on the bathroom's double doors. There was a scent in the air of Integra's bath bomb and bubble bath essence (all natural of course); English rose, chamomile, jasmine and oddly nutmeg, a smell that suited her admirably for the tangy spice some how captured Integra's calm yet intense personality. Impeccably white bubbly foam covered the whole surface of the water and Integra included, leaving her collarbone, shoulders and neck exposed to Alucard's expert analysis (in a typical predator display of a vampyre, Alucard judged Integra's neck to be placed in the 'EXQUISITE' category).

"Thank you. Your spoken restrictions begin now along with your task." Integra spoke softly, barely above a whisper as she took the memos without a single glance at the vampyre's direction. "Now wash my back."

The raised eyebrow arched even further and that was all Alucard did. He wasn't about to disregard that last commanded. So she wanted to play with his mind, eh? All right, he was game. Besides, there would be no way Alucard would pass on an opportunity to bathe his Master. 'What ever you have planned for me Master Integra it will not work. But I shall content myself with this menial task that you entrusted to me…'

Shedding his crimson trench coat and inner jacket he hung them beside her bathrobe. Next, off came the hat and sunglasses, the latter finding purchase in a pocket of his nobleman's trench coat. Removing his special white gloves with their distinctive magical sigils on the side he shoved them in his trouser pockets. Those gloves, curiously enough, were only worn for show, to complement the vampyre's chosen crimson outfit (one of his many, MANY quirks).

Contrary to the popular belief among the HELLSING personnel, the said gloves were not part of 'The Seal' restricted upon Alucard by Integra's great-grandfather Abram von Helsing. 'The Seal' itself is deeply imbedded in the vampyre's mind, indeed his very being almost for Alucard found that his actions were under constant scrutiny by this magical binding. Apart from the level of his powers 'The Seal' controlled and that that his Master could unleash (depending upon how threatening the situation), his everyday actions were regulated by 'The Seal', meaning that any threat to harm a person was a 'no-no' (and never carried out) while biting any random idiot in HELLSING was forbidden with a capital 'F'.

Most important of 'The Seal's powers/influence upon Alucard was 'The Drive', the infallible constant desire/need/urge/instinct to serve the Hellsing family or anyone of Abram von Helsing's bloodline.

Rolling up his sleeves to his elbows, undoing his tie and placing it into his waistcoat Alucard looked ready to perform his duty of service and seemed to be savouring the prospect of having a wet and soaking Integra in his very capable hands. Alucard's thoughts were thus: '…prepare YOURSELF Master, heh heh heh…'

Without a word he knelt beside the bathtub, alongside where Integra (nose in a memo concerning Alucard, his gun and a complaining HELLSING employee) was her position exposing her smooth back to the awaiting vampyre. After dipping a loofa he found dangling from the ornamental tap into the white softness of the water, Alucard began working with extraordinary deftness, performing slow lazy circles with the loofah on Integra's damp golden skin. Her entire back, shoulder blades and shoulders was soon covered with suds as well as his upper arms. For a split-second Alucard debated wether he should move lower, or if he should make a bold attempt at washing her front…

On second thought, Alucard decided that he wouldn't do either. He didn't want to risk Integra taking shots at him again once she got out of her bath (she had a damn good aim, even when not looking) nor did he care to see if she had a sawn off shotgun hiding beneath the bubbly surface of her bubble bath. He would just let her know that he was done.

Breathing sensuously into Integra's ear and nuzzling her neck with his nose, Alucard tried to communicate that he was finished. Well if he can't annoy her with words or facial expressions, then there are always actions.

And of course everyone knows that actions speak louder than words.

He smirked in satisfaction as she jerked herself away from him while at the same time shuddering, from pleasure or disgust he knew not.

"If you've quite finished there," replied Integra (nose in yet another memo, this time a complaint from Walter about, sigh, Alucard…) her voice sounding as if nothing had happened, "you make get to work here." She raised a foot from the water and wiggled her toes. Alucard, surprisingly, indulged her. He seemed to be enjoying this exclusive 'assignment'.

As the vampyre ran the rough coral along her feet, he wondered absentmindedly if Integra was ticklish. But then as he held one slender foot, Alucard noted that his Master had smaller feet than he had imagined, though they were beautiful as with the rest of her. 'Such fine bone structure...'

He blinked suddenly and paused his duties.

'Where in the name of HELLSING did that thought come from?!' Before he had time to think about the origin of that particular thought, a naughtier one came into Alucard's mind: maybe to get things interesting, to get a response or reaction out of his Master, just maybe… he should suck on her toes alá 'Fergie the disgraced Ex-Duchess of York'.

What a scandal THAT would be.

"Is everything all right?" Inquired Integra with a hint of irritation (she was beginning to enjoy Alucards ministrations), cool blue eyes peering at him over the top of a HELLSING memo. Alucard shook himself out of his mischievous (and creepy) reverie, shrugged and continued his work with the other foot, sending a mental message to Integra in place of speaking.

'You forbade me to speak Master, I cannot vocally answer your query.'

Alucard would've smirked had he been allowed. He certainly got her there! But Integra just snorted and returned her attention to her memos, sending a mental message of her own. 'A simple nod or shake of your head would have sufficed Alucard. But now that you have brought it to my attention, NO psychic conversing either.'

Giving him more instructions (this time to get her bathrobe ready), Integra took over the washing of the rest of her anatomy. When she was finished she glanced towards him to see where he was. Alucard was standing silently, waiting patiently beside the oak door of the bathroom; face exhibiting an unreadable expression, eyes firmly fixed on the fair-haired woman in the bathtub. Absentmindedly, Integra concluded that she liked this informal look Alucard was sporting; she had never seen what Alucard wore on the inside (and she didn't care to know) for the trench coat covered all. But seeing him simple trousers, knee-high boots, waistcoat, white shirt with sleeve rolled up and tie/glove/sunglass/hat-less certainly made him look in some way …appealing. Perhaps it's because he doesn't look so sophisticated in that damn outfit of his…

Oh well. It was time to end this.

She stood in the bathtub, back to him, finally allowing the vampyre a sight of her naked body as soapy water cascaded from it. Without looking Integra knew that his eyes were glued to her slim physique. And, sure enough, the sound of a sharp intake of breath was heard behind her. Had Alucard seen her face he would have approved of the smirk she wore, it was so reminiscent of the one that he himself often displayed. As the resident vampyre was slowly being mesmerized by the sight of his nude and bubble-foam covered Master, Integra lazily reached for a towel. But rather wrap it around herself, Integra used it to dry her hair, hanging it around her shoulder nonchantly. Reaching a hand behind her towards Alucard, she requested for her bathrobe. When there was no response Integra hazarded a glance behind her; Alucard had not moved from his position.

Arms locked rigidly by his side, mouth somewhat agape and head held low towards his chest in a stiff fashion, Alucard just…gazed at her intently. However not in the manner of a predator staring down his prey. Instead crimson eyes no longer blazed arrogantly beneath unruly black hair, but rather smouldered with something akin to desire (and if Integra cared to check, ah, where she last shot him, her suspicions would have been verified). She would have also discerned something else in Alucard's eyes, a possessive gleam that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, had Integra not been distracted by her exultant feelings; she was mentally congratulating herself: at least she got what she desired.

And even though her triumph included the cost of her being totally naked, it was a sacrifice that was well worth it for the result could not have been better. After all it's not everyday you got to see the 'No Life King' totally bereft of witty remarks or without that infernal confident smirk of his, but rather standing dumbstruck like an awkward adolescent boy fresh into puberty and girls.

It gave her a very good feeling know that.

'That would teach him to play mind games with a Hellsing (and a female one at that)! And that would teach him who the superior one in this relationship was. And most importantly, that would teach him to ruin my twenty-first birthday with his 'present''. Alucard must have been reading her thoughts because his next words were:

"Twenty-first birthday?" He inquired quietly while passing her the fluffy white robe; he seemed to have composed himself somewhat.  Integra finally let her emotions get the better of her and turned her head back to smirk at him.

"Twenty-first birthday." She acceded, finally turning to face him in full. But first she let the rough fabric cover her nude form before loosely tying the terry cloth robe so that a considerable amount of cleavage was visible. Alucard nodded.

"Strange," breathed the vampyre, "that the commanding figure in this room is the one that is not fully clothed?" He leaned forward to brush away a soaking tendril of moonbeam hair that managed to escape its restrictions away from her neck, an act that hinted on more than just service. Integra ignored the intimacy suggested. Or tried to at least.

 "Thank you for your services Alucard." Integra added a flourish to her triumph by reverting to her usual cold detachment, as if giving orders to her subordinates to bathe her was a routine. Just an ordinary, mundane occurrence. "You may leave now."

The vampyre did nothing, again, for a while but just gazed at her from beneath hooded eyes (though Integra did not miss the quick peep aimed at her breasts). For what seemed like an eternity, searing red and chilly blue eyes battled for dominance, before the iridescent crimson ones conceded its defeat. With an imperceptible nod of his head and another one of his maddening grins, Alucard bowed with the grace and dignity of one noble born, he seemed to be congratulating Integra upon her latest victory.

"I wish my Master good-night then, and hope that she would require my services soon."

With that the Alucard dissipated into the wall, but not before he retrieved his remaining garments. Well, there was going to be one sexually frustrated vampyre on the loose tonight. And possibly an overworked arm too. Integra snickered uncharacteristically at the thought and then considered that she might take up Alucard's vague offer concerning his 'services'. 'After all he always executes his orders to the letter, despite giving me a hard time about it and he did do a good job of washing my back.

A very good job indeed.'


'Royal Protestant Knight's Pet Show: Alucard's Version'

"And the winner of the Royal Protestant Knight's Pet Show for 2002 is…Ms. Integra Wingates Hellsing and her psychotic vampyre Alucard!!!"

After the judge called out the victor, the audience and the contestants looked on with amusement as a young girl, no more than 13 years of age, was dragging on a silver leash what looked like a gargantuan 'hellhound' that had many eyes covering it's body. The young girl was hollering at the top of her voice for the hellhound to co-operate and follow her; Alucard had dug his heels in the ground, refusing to comply. After many pleas of 'Pretty please Alucard?' (and several medical blood packs later), Integra finally got her 'pet' to collaborate. She then undid the silver leash that kept the vampyre in check, which proved to be unwise; Alucard immediately ran amok.

"Well, um, Ms. Hellsing definitely wins by default then, since the competition is, erm, eliminated. "

Indeed, all of the animals that were Alucard's rivals fell prey to the berserk vampyre, while many were *ahem* shown their place on the food chain. But despite the gory scene that ensued, Alucard's Master wasn't angry; she in fact didn't seem to care. Instead, Integra threw her arms around her 'pet' and squealed:

"Awww, did you do that? Did you? Who's a clever vampyre then, hey? That's right, you're a clever vampyre!! Yes you are, yes you are!! Good boy Alucard, you're the best pet a Hellsing could ever have…"

The many-eyed hellhound thumped his tail on the ground in a happy manner, while Integra handed her 'pet' more blood packs and compliments. Then as a treat for winning, she gave him a gift: an 'Anderson-Squeaky-Chew-Toy', which Alucard quickly made short work of. After utterly masticating (chewing) the Catholic miniature, the hellhound began to sniff disdainfully at the no longer squeaking, pathetic plastic pile on the ground, lifted one hind leg and…

                                                                                                                                                …the vampyre Alucard woke up with a jolt, banging his head on the lid of his coffin. 'GAH!! Son of a--! Heh, an Integra that was fond of me no matter what I did?!' Alucard snorted; that was weird, even by his standards. He rubbed his sore head and tried to go back to sleep. 'Heh heh heh, an 'Anderson-Squeaky-Chew-Toy'…maybe I can persuade Master to get me one…'

Author's Drivel:

First of all, my apologies for the lateness of this sequel!! *bows deeply* This is the sequel to my first 'fic 'Integra's 21st Birthday Bash', and the two stories sprang from this particular idea I had one day: 'What if Integra took advantage of the whole Master/Servant relationship with her local sexy undead?' Oh the possibilities!! *gives an evil laugh*  Please bear in mind I'm still fairly new to Hellsing; never seen any of the episodes (though I have researched heavily upon the characters backgrounds for all my 'fics), so your pardon if the characters are OOC or if I haven't got them just right. *dodges rotten tomatoes being thrown* Heh, as for this omake, it was inspired from the first (see my previous story 'Gotcha!') and perfected during a walk with my dog. So props go to my dog Kelpie-Col!! He was the inspiration for hellhound Alucard; him and his hamburger squeaky toy! Heh, 'Anderson-Squeaky-Chew-Toy'… ^-^

Anyhow, this 'fic is again dedicated to all you AxI fans out there (particularly 'Damned Caeli'! Thanks for that 'fic!!). I had to 'cos:

a) Hot damn, Alucard and Integra are sexy together!! Schwiiiiinnng baby, yeah!!! ^-^

b) Since I wrote a story with Alucard naked, it seemed fair that I should write Integra naked too…

And as always, this 'fic is also dedicated to all of those brave people who have stayed up late reading 'fics on 'fanfiction.net' and who have also gotten into trouble because of it the next day with their parents. (Or am I the only one…? ^-^)

Many thanks to those who review!! *waves her 'Alucard-Plushie-Toy'*