I'm not stopping work on 'If I Can't Love Her'. That story is far from over but I thought that I'd try writing this one too.

This takes place after Selfless. Buffy wants Spike to snap out of it so she sends him to the one person who might be able to help him.


"Why do you want to help him?" Xander asked. "After what he did to you? He deserves everything that's happened to him."

Xander, Willow, Dawn and Buffy were sitting the Summer's living room. Buffy had told them that she wanted to help Spike, that the thought of him sitting in that basement was pathetic, even for him.

"Well we can't just leave him there," Buffy said. "So what should we do with him? If we leave him alone he'll just sit down there, trying to claw his heart out and hugging crosses."

"Hugging crosses?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "And everytime I see him he's worse."

"So what do you want to do?" Willow asked. She was probably the most sympathetic to Spike. She knew what it was like to be out of control and having regrets over what had happened during that time.

"I can't help him," Buffy said. "He's beyond anything I can do for him."

"So what are you going to do?" Xander asked, hoping that involved a stake.

"I'm going to send him to the only person who can help him," Buffy said. "Angel."

There was a shocked silence. Xander was the first to regain his voice, "Uh Buffy, have you forgotten that those two hate each other? Not that I'm complaining but the only thing Angel's going to do to help Spike involves a stake and the afterlife."

Buffy held up a piece of paper, "I wrote Angel a letter explaining what's happened to Spike and asking him for help. I'll send it along with Spike."

"Wait," Dawn said. "You're not taking him there yourself?"

"I can't," Buffy said. "I have work and other responsibilities here. I can't pick up and leave for L.A." She looked around, "And all of you have lives and jobs here. Spike found his way here from Africa. It shouldn't be too much trouble for him to get to L.A."

"So when are you going to do this?" Willow asked.

"Right away," Buffy said. "I'm going to see him tonight and if he's in one of his saner moments than I'll send him to L.A. tonight. I think that if we wait too much longer he's going to be completely insane." Xander made a noise. Buffy glared at him and said, "We have to do something unless we want an insane vampire running around."

"He's still chipped," Xander pointed out.

"It doesn't matter," Willow said. "The chip still hurts him but he doesn't care. I think he almost welcomes it."

Buffy nodded, "That's why we have to snap him out of it, before he does something to make this whole situation worse." She stood up and left the house.

Buffy made her way down the basement of the school where Spike was hiding out. She found him sitting on the floor, in the same condition she usually found him.

"Spike," Buffy said, kneeling down next to him.

"What you doin' here?" Spike said. "And where's your pass?"

"Spike, snap out of it," Buffy ordered. "Can you manage to be sane for a few hours?"

"Why?" Spike asked.

"Spike," Buffy said. "You need help."

"No," Spike said, reverting to a childlike state. "No want help."

"Spike," Buffy said, trying again. "I can't help you but there's someone out there who can, someone who knows what you're going through."

"No," Spike said. "No one knows."

"Yes," Buffy said. "There is someone out there who knows exactly what you're going through and I'm going to send you to him." Spike continued to stare blankly ahead, lost in his own world. "Spike, I want you to go to L.A. and see Angel." Spike didn't respond to that either so Buffy tried another idea, "Spike, if you to L.A. and see Angel, maybe he'll be mad enough at you to torture you a little before he helps you."

Spike's eyes lit up briefly, "Really, you're not just saying that?"

Buffy rolled her eyes at Spike's twisted logic but said, "Yes, I'm sure that the first thing he'll want to do when he sees you is to torture you." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter she had written to Angel. "Just give Angel this when you see him." Spike looked at it confused, "It's your pass," Buffy explained.

Spike took the letter, stood up and walked out without another word, leaving Buffy behind him. Buffy watched him leave and sighed. She'd done all that she could. The rest was up to Angel. Maybe Angel would be able to help Spike to deal with his new soul. But as Buffy looked back to the spot where Spike had been spending most of his time, the thought occurred to her that Spike might be too far gone, beyond anyone's help.

She stood up and left the school. She had just enough time to do a quick patrol before going home.