I've been trying to write other things at the moment, original work mainly, but I kept hitting walls and felt like I needed a break. What better way to flex my fingers than by a TBBT fan-fic?!
I don't actually watch Big Bang Theory anymore. After the 4th season I started to lose interest. I didn't like the direction some of the characters where going in. For example, I seriously didn't like the way Penny's character was transforming into a dumb blonde caricature, not the feisty slugger we knew and loved at the beginning.
However, I have seen the clip of when Sheldon kisses Amy properly for the first time on the train. It got me thinking about how he would deal with it and what his reaction would be to them developing their physical relationship further.
Just a quick FYI – I have rated this T because of the talk of some of the graphicness of sex.
I hope you enjoy. It would mean a lot to me if you take the time to review with your thoughts.
When Sheldon knocked on Penny's door that night she was surprised. Amy had not long called with the big news that her and Sheldon had finally 'done the deed' as she had called it.
The resulting conversation had been highly awkward and cringe-worthy on Penny's part.
Amy had shared far too much information about the experience and it had left Penny feeling like she had invaded Sheldon's privacy to a massive degree. Amy had been so happy though, Penny hadn't the heart to stop her. She had ended up just tuning out the uncomfortably intimate details.
She had suspected that Sheldon had been a virgin, but to hear Amy confirm it was still a surprise. The man was in his early thirties for fracks sake. How had he made it that far into life without that one key experience? She knew that he had always had problems with intimacy and human contact, but she hadn't realised it had stemmed that deep.
The fact that he had now slept with Amy was a seriously big deal.
So when she opened the door to find him looking timid and stricken she did what was in her nature and pulled him into a big hug.
He stiffened at first, his tall lanky body not quite fitting alongside hers. But then he relaxed slightly and let out a long shaky breath.
'Come and sit down honey' she beckoned, gently guiding him over to the couch, 'do you want something to drink?'
'Herbal tea with honey would be acceptable' he said quietly, looking down as he folded his hands in his lap.
'I thought you only had that when you were sick?' Penny questioned without thinking, before clamping her mouth shut having looked over at his shaking frame.
She made herself a drink too and carrying them both over to the coffee table she sat down on the armchair, curling her legs up underneath her and waited for him to speak.
It took a while. He picked up his drink, wrapping his long fingers around the mug, and blew gently over the rising steam in an attempt to cool it for several minutes. Then he took sips of it, his body still tense. All the while Penny just waited patiently. It was not always in her nature, but Sheldon had been her friend for a long time now. She liked to think that she understood how he worked. She had to let him make the first move.
15 minutes must have gone by before he actually spoke again.
'I trust that Amy Farrah-Fowler has acquainted you with the evening's events'.
Penny nodded mutely.
'I find that I am unable to fully process my thoughts on the matter' he said distractedly, in a tone she had never heard from him, 'Amy has been demanding we take the next logical step in our relationship for so long that I had not considered it actually happening'.
'Are you saying you weren't ready to have sex, sweetie?' Penny asked, unable to keep quiet any longer.
He paused, his eyes finally meeting hers, before replying in a small voice.
'I do not think I was. Furthermore, I do not think I was prepared for the enormity of the action itself.'
Penny sighed, the poor man was going through what she had gone through when she was 16. She hadn't been ready at the time either, but all of her friends had been sleeping with their boyfriends, she had been the last virgin in the group. As embarrassed as she was to admit it, peer pressure had done its job and she had slept with a boy she hardly knew and certainly didn't love. It had been bloody and quick, and one of the worst experiences of her life.
She'd not slept with another boy for many years after that, despite what the gang thought of her. When it had happened again, she had been ready. She had felt sure of herself and what she wanted. A trait that she had carried through life with her.
'Did you enjoy it?' she asked.
'It was pleasurable, yes.'
'But..' Penny prompted, knowing that he was leaving things unsaid. When he didn't continue she called his name, making him meet her eyes.
'Sheldon. You have always been honest with me, and I have always been honest with you. That's why you came here, isn't it? You knew I would let you talk, and not make fun of you. I know it's hard for you, but if you tell me what you're thinking and feeling I'll do my best to help.'
She was dying to lean over and take his hand in support, or at least pat his arm, but she restrained herself. The hug she had given him was probably about the most physical contact he could take from her in one evening.
'Am I meant to feel like this?' he asked, the stream of soft words coming out in a rush, 'am I meant to feel this empty?'
Poor guy, Penny couldn't help but think. She knew exactly how he was feeling, she remembered it so well.
'Sheldon' she said quietly, this time it was her that couldn't meet his eyes, 'I'm gonna tell you a story. It's quite private, so I'd kinda prefer if you didn't tell anyone else, that okay?'
'I promise Penny'.
'Right, well, the first boy I ever had sex with was called Christopher North. I wasn't the first girl he'd been with though, and he was a couple of years older than me. My parents had gone away for the weekend and he'd snuck out to come round to my house. I'd kissed him loads before, and we'd done other things, but we'd never had sex. I'd decided that since all my friends were having sex I should be too. I wasn't being teased or anything but it was always this thing in the back of my mind that I wasn't normal, because I hadn't done it and everyone else had. He was an average 18 year old boy so he didn't take any convincing.'
She had a sip of her drink, and cleared her throat embarrassedly.
'It hurt, and I bled, like a lot. He came very quickly and I didn't. Afterwards, when he got off me, he saw all the blood. He totally freaked out and before I even knew it he'd put all his clothes back on and had gone. I was left in my bedroom, with a bloody bed and thighs feeling completely alone. It was one of the worst moments of my life. It's like you said, you feel empty. And not from the lack of physical contact, but from having something taken from you that you didn't truly want to give. That kind of empty.'
Sheldon had gone very quiet and Penny wasn't sure if it was because the story was too intimate for his liking or if he understood.
'What I'm trying to say to you sweetie, is that sex when you are not a totally willing participant pretty much sucks. But when you're there body and mind it's awesome, like really really awesome.'
'So what would be your advice?' he questioned, as he finished his herbal tea and placed the mug gently on a coaster on the table.
'I would tell Amy that you're still not ready. I would be honest with her. If she truly loves you like I think she does then she'll wait.'
'And if she doesn't want to wait?'
'Then she's not the one for you, sweetie' Penny said gently.
He was still not quite his normal self when he asked the next question.
'Would you say that love enhances the experience?'
Penny paused for a moment. She had experienced both and she knew in her heart which she preferred.
'I won't lie, sex without love is great. But sex with love is about different things. It's about making a connection with a person and showing them how much they mean to you.'
She didn't know what else to say after that. So she sat back and waited for him to speak. This was the longest, serious conversation they had had in a very long time and it a little bit strange for her. She was so used to trading insults and witty comebacks with him that this kind of talk was new ground. She had a sneaking suspicion that she was one of the few people that saw this side of Sheldon. She might even be the only one. It made her feel special and pleased that he would think to come to her.
Despite her whining, he had come through for her over the years. Like the time he lent her money without a second thought or drove her to the hospital when she dislocated her shoulder, despite how terrified he'd been driving. Not only did she owe him, but those things had endeared him to her in a way that the rest of her friends hadn't. She wanted to take care of him.
When he stood up, so did she.
He was awkward again and couldn't quite meet her concerned gaze.
'Thank you for your counsel Penny' he spoke as he moved over to the door, 'and thank you for not laughing at me'.
'I would never!' Penny quickly replied, then when he gave her an arch look, she added, 'not about something like this, at least'.
He paused in the door way and she took the opportunity to speak again.
'You know you can always come to me, right sweetie? You're one of my best friends, I care about your happiness'.
'Thank you again' he nodded, before ducking through the doorway and scurrying across the landing to his own apartment.
Penny stood staring at the closed door for quite some time before she turned back into her own apartment. Picking up the discarded mugs she took them over to the wash basin and turned on the faucet. Sometime between washing the mugs and drying them off with a towel she realised she was crying.
Worryingly she wasn't even sure who she was crying for; herself, Sheldon or Amy. She hadn't thought about her first time in years, and she'd definitely never spoken about it. So she let herself have a good cry about it over the sink. After a few long moments she shook herself and dried her eyes with a tissue.
Grabbing the remote and shrugging on an oversized sweater she settled down for a late night episode of America's Next Top Model; nothing like criticising women's bodies to take her mind off things.
She must have fallen asleep on the couch because she woke up the next morning in exactly the same position, the TV having switched to standby sometime during the night.
Grabbing her phone off the coffee table she realised she had about 10 missed calls from her boss, she was half an hour late for work.
'Great' she muttered sarcastically to herself.
Rushing around getting ready like a mad women she had almost forgotten about the heart-to-heart she'd had with Sheldon the night before.
Then she opened her front door and sitting neatly on her doormat was a cling-film wrapped loaf of banana bread.
And that's it. It's only meant to be a one-shot of their friendship so unfortunately there won't be any more.
Hopefully you enjoyed it, please review let me know what you think.