2013, April 15, Monday
A Fresh Beginning!

These are my goals for a brand new start in a new school environment:
1. A Leia a day.
2. Smiling exercise.
3. Dye my hair from blue to black. Mum says that I'll look handsomer that way. (I wonder.)
4. Eat proper meals. Ice cream isn't a meal—it's a dessert. A. DESSERT.

Mum seems very happy with me ever since I graduated from high school. I've stopped shutting myself in my own room 24/7; I've stopped lamenting about the scars on my back, about Rin…

I'm really sorry, Mum. It must have been tough on you, having to raise me all alone when he abandoned us for another bitch… Ah, I should probably add this as a goal too: curses should be lock away and begone from my mental dictionary—I'll have to flush the profanities out of my system.

I was flipping back through the diaries I kept from my elementary school days, to my junior high, then to my senior high…and wow, look at how much my writing style has changed over the years. Apparently the sarcastic streak that my new neighbor, Aria, has is starting to affect me. It's a good thing, I guess, because I can't stop rereading my recent entries with a grin.

Of course, there's no way I'll ever forget about you, Leia. I'm just saving the best for the last.

Leia, I wish that I could have met you earlier.
Leia, I'm very grateful that I was able to finally meet you.
Leia, you're the warm light that guided me out of the cold darkness.

Leia, I love you.

P.S. Mum's overjoyed to hear that I have a girlfriend. She even says that you're the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm thankful that she doesn't bug me to bring you home to show her…

2013, May 7, Tuesday

This lecture about Mona Lisa is so boring. :) I have to doodle smiley faces all over this page just to keep myself awake. :)

If only Mona Lisa has pink hair…

Like Leia's. :)

2013, May 23, Thursday

It had been slightly more than a month since I restarted my life at Crypton Academy of Fine Arts (not to mention two weeks of break from writing anything in this diary—all those weekly assignments from Professor Hiyama had been keeping me real busy), and now I have three confessions to make:

1. College showed me a whole new world that could put the pathetic conformity back during my old school days to shame.

For the sake of convenience—I'll also admit that I like the extra one hour to procrastinate under the blanket—I had moved into the student dorm, sharing a room with Yuma Vylz, a second-year undergrad from the Acting faculty. I barely saw him most of the time—students from the Film and Stage courses had really horrible timetables and overcrowded schedules which left them with little to no time for themselves. With the fiercely dark competition adding on to the stress, it's no wonder about the flying rumors from that department of violent outbursts that eventually led to a suicidal end. On an ironic note, Acting has been the most popular faculty ever since the college was founded, with the number of young, hopeful teens vying for a spot in any of its hell-like courses increasing exponentially each year. The temptation for fame, the jealous envy to be popular and well-known, the desire to attain stardom… I could never understand why anyone would be willing to shed blood for something so shallow.

As for Yuma, he seemed like a generally nice person—well, we didn't have much chance and time to actually sit down and talk, but he would greet me on the occasions we bump into each other, that he still acknowledged my existence as his roomie.

In exchange, I would turn a blind eye whenever his fraternal twin sister, Mizki, crashed into our room. Just like how boys were forbidden to go anywhere near the girls' dorm, they were also not allowed to set foot into the male's territory. Unfortunately, no college rules could stop a bunch of hormone-excited teen-adults from night after night of sexual bliss. Besides, in an art school where freedom of expression is one of the most basic rights a member here is entitled to, it's not surprising to see gays and lesbians being open about their controversial relationship.

Harem, lust, homo…even narcissistic selfcest. It's a challenge trying to force yourself to sleep when your ears were filled with sensual moans from the next door that could send your mind down the dirtiest gutter.

Until that day.
That scene.
Those two.
In the room.
On my bed.

An erotic incest was the very last thing I ever wanted to see in my entire life.

2. I got along fairly well with most of my coursemates so far, but not without a lot of effort putting up despicable masks and sugar-coating bitter taunts.

Professor Hiyama wasted no time to get the class started with gesture drawing right after our last coursework for life portraits. Every lesson he would bring in a nude model—male on odd weeks, female on even weeks—who would pose on an elevated black stage in the middle of the studio bathed under the fiery orange spotlights. The model would shift every few minutes to change the arrangement of their well-defined limbs, while the students who were sitting in the semi-darkness around him/her would scratch their charcoal on the papers restlessly.

The model of the week was a female: her small, lank figure lacked any curves that could define her femininity save for her long cherry-red hair and wide maroon eyes. Disappointment flashed across the face among many male students, while the girls sneered at the model's unattractive appeal. The professor seemed oblivious to these reactions—or maybe he just didn't care; he simply barked at everyone to settle down quickly and get out their materials so that he could begin the lesson for the day.

"Miki," Professor Hiyama called out to the model, his tone was emotionless and business-like. "Take it off."

She nodded, fumbling with the white sheet before it slid off her shoulders and fluttered down to the floor. Shuffling noises echoed in the cold studio room as the students craned to study the model intently, to etch every bit of her skin into their lewd eyes. I could barely catch the slight trembling of her thin lips when the professor spoke again, "One minute. Starts now."

[ More To Be Revealed ]

3. Miku Hatsune.

[ To Be Revealed ]