Yes, after all this time I've decided to write this. It mostly serves as a rewrite of World Tour season (well, sort of, it's going to focus only on few characters, so don't expect an insight for every contestant here,) although it's also a sequel to "Oh the joy", which you can find on my profile. It's not required to read to enjoy this one, but I might mention a few things that were said there.

Before we begin, I want to note that LeShawna and Heather's 'friendship' wasn't abruptly forgotten by me like in canon version. That was one of the things I liked in TDA, so it stays. There will be much, much more differences, but I wanted to explain this one to you about this one to prevent any confusion.

Oh yes, couples, it's all romance with you guys ;P Um… Nah, I won't tell you, though you can easily guess most of them as the story will progress, I think…

I'll skip the beginning – it's more or less the same as in she show, so we can start with the challenge in Egypt.

English is not my first language, mistakes are assured.

I don't own anything.

Please, R&R.

Walk Like An Egyptian

"Ready? Get set… Go!"

And so the 'Pyramid Over Under' challenge began.

"We're going over, Duncan" decided Courtney. "When I was a CIT I've learned a few things about rock climbing!"

"Yeah… I think I'll go under" LeShawna rubbed the sweat from her forehead. "I don't know how anyone could stand this heat any longer! You coming, Gwen?" She turned her head to the Goth girl.

"No, thanks, I think, I'll just…" Gwen glanced briefly at Duncan and Courtney. "I'll go over. Thanks for the proposition, though."

"You sure?" LeShawna raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure" the goth girl walked to the CIT and delinquent.

"Let her go" Heather went to her side. "If the Goth freak wants to stare at her 'Dunkey' all day long, it's her problem."

"You know," LeShawna glared at the queen bee "just because we made up last season, it doesn't mean that you're allowed to insult my friends."

"Oh please. It's not an insult, I'm just telling the truth. You know how she is. As if you haven't watched any of our blog war after TDA."

"Oh yeah, I've watched those" she grinned. "I remember that one video sent to Gwen by your little cousin, you know, that one with your cat…"

"A-ha-ha. Are we going in or what?"

"Right. DJ, Harold, let's go!"

"Oh come on, Lindsay! You must remember me!" Tyler was staring at the blonde girl expectantly.

"Err… I'm sorry, err… Your name is Owen, right?"

The jock sighed heavily. "No Lindsay, it's me, Tyler!"

"Ooooh! You totally have the same name as my boyfriend! I wish you two could meet! Unfortunately, he disappeared after the first season and I haven't seen him since."

"No Lindsay, it's… Ugh… Look, do you want to go with me over the pyramid? I'll explain everything on the way."

"Oh, I would love to, Trent! Let's go!"

"Uhh…" Ezekiel appeared behind the pair. "Would you mind if I'll go with you, eh?"

"Well" began Tyler "we would like to get some time alone together, so…"

"Of course Edward! Come on, Tyson, we must take him! Let's go, boys!" And so Lindsay marched into the pyramid followed closely by Ezekiel and Tyler, who was glaring at the homeschooled boy.

Meanwhile, Bridgette was watching Alejandro making his way to the top of the pyramid in absolute awe. The newcomer saw that and hopped back to the ground.

"Senorita, I couldn't help but notice you've chosen to go over the pyramid as well, so I thought that perhaps we could go together?"

The surfer girl smiled dreamily as Latino boy offered her a hand.

"It will be easy" said Courtney, tightening a rope on her delinquent boyfriend. "If you'll be listening to me, we might end up first place!"

The CIT smiled at Duncan only to see he was staring at something behind her. She turned around and groaned. It was Gwen, approaching them.

"Hi! Um… You guys are going over too?"

"Yeah! Wanna join us?" Asked Duncan.

"Really? You would do that? Thanks!"

Courtney sighed, trying to ignore the looks her boyfriend and the Goth girl were giving each other. "Fine. But only because three person belay is stronger!"

Noah, Owen, Izzy, Cody and Sierra stared at the pyramid.

"Under?" Asked the obese teen hopefully.

"Under" the bookworm agreed.

"Oh yeah!" Izzy jumped on Owen's back. "The adventure awaits! We're going to be archeologists! Think about all the treasures we can find! Whooo!"

Sierra hugged a tech geek from behind.

"I'm going after you, Cody" a newcomer smiled widely at her crush.

Five teenagers walked into the pyramid and bumped into the other contestants who had chosen to go 'under.'

"Oh great," murmured Noah, "our friendly neighborhood host dude failed to mention there were different paths."

"How do we know which way's right?" Asked Owen.

"I know!" Announced Izzy. "Okay, I saw this in a spy movie once. You lick your finger and hold it up to find the air flow!"

She licked her finger and smiled widely.

"Mmmm! The sand really crunches in your teeth. Fun! Okay, DJ. Gimme your hand."

"Don't do it, DJ!" LeShawna stood between them. "You might catch a case of crazy! C'mon, Harold, Heather!"

The four teenagers had chosen the middle hallway.

"Oh, oh! Let's take the scary mummy door!" Izzy pointed at the mummy sign above one of the hallways.

Tyler, Ezekiel and Lindsay were walking slowly through a dark corridor.

"It's kind of scary here. Is it too late to go over the pyramid?" Asked Lindsay.

"Don't worry, Linds," the jock put hand on her arm, "I'll make sure that nothing will happen to you."

"Oh, that's so sweet of you… Ted, was it?"

Something under Lindsay's foot clicked loudly.

"Look out you guys!" Ezekiel jumped on his companions causing all three to collapse on the ground.

The flying spears missed them by inches, one of them taking Ezekiel's toque away.

"What just happened?" Lindsay blinked rapidly.

"This place is booby trapped, eh" the homeschooled teenager stood up and dusted himself off, while Tyler was helping Lindsay. "You stepped on the block and triggered the trap."

"Thanks, dude. That was close."

"Oooh, my hero!" Lindsay hugged Ezekiel, causing his face to turn into nice shade of red.

"Yeah…" the jock didn't look as grateful as few seconds before, "better let's going."

Izzy seemed to truly enjoy walking through the ancient corridors.

"This is so awesome! Like that time when I was running away from the angry nature guys after I've written some funny lines on all fences in the town. Or, or, I know, even better! It's like…"

Noah rolled his eyes at Owen, who was staring at his girlfriend with absolute admiration in his eyes, while she was explaining how the conflict between her and Ontario Nature group started.

"Isn't that exciting, Cody?!" Noah didn't have to turn his head to know the source of the shrieking voice.

"Uhh… I guess?" The Codemeister gave his stalker an unsure smile.

"Oh, look! We're in the nurse's office!" Izzy pointed at the pile of bandages.

"It's a pyramid, not a high school" answered Noah dryly.

"Costume party! Mummy me!" The crazy girl threw bandages at her friends.

Only Owen decided to help her, while Noah rolled up his eyes, and Sierra and Cody stared at the whole scene a little surprised.

"Seriously guys, don't we have better things to do? Like, you know, winning a challenge?" Asked Cody.

"Exactly! Isn't my Codykins incredibly smart?"

"Let her be, the sooner we get this over with, the better" the bookworm sighed.

"Yeah, Codemeister, feel the adventure!" Izzy, now in bandages, jumped to the startled geek and started to 'mummifying' him as well. "If you're going to be a mummy, you must do a mummy noises! That way, we'll capture a real mummies!"

"Hey! Get your own boyfriend to play with you!" Sierra narrowed her eyes at the redhead.

"Aw, don't worry, you two look too cute together, Izzy doesn't stand in a way of new, blossoming relationships…"

"I… Huh?" Was all Cody could say, while Sierra beamed.

"… But while Owen is my soul mate and all, Izzy's afraid we don't have enough bandages for him."

"You can take Noah instead!" A newcomer pointed at the bookworm.

"Gee, thanks, being covered up in bandages and strolling through dark corridors was always a dream of mine."

"Nah" Izzy ended mumming the geek up and waved her hand dismissively, "Sorry Noah, but Izzy's senses say that Cody is perfect for the job!"

"Wait, Izzy, I don't think that-" A crazy girl didn't listen to Cody and simply dragged him away.

Confession Cam:

Bridgette: I had no idea that the new guy would be so nice! I mean, after all we actually fought with him during our memorable bus race. But turns out Alejandro is such a gentleman and decided to help me with this challenge! And, Geoff, you don't have to worry about me. Me and Alejandro are simply becoming good friends! Well, at least I hope so."

End of confession

Bridgette stared at Alejandro dreamily until they got on the top of the pyramid.

"I'm afraid it's too steep to carry you down, senorita" said Latino boy after she got off his shoulders.

"There must be an easier way" Bridgette noticed a sign, which, luckily was there to inform them they were indeed on the pyramid's top, in case they haven't noticed. "I'm a surfer! We can surf down on this!"

"Cody! Cody! CODYKINS!"

"No need to worry about my ears, I didn't need them anyway" Noah winced as Sierra turned abruptly to him.

"My Cody is gone! Don't expect me to be calm down when I lost my man in the dark corridors full of ancient curses!"

"I'm more worried about Izzy!" Said Owen. "Poor Iz. I hope the real mummies won't get her!"

Tyler, Ezekiel and Lindsay were running away from the mummies.

"Guys, guys, guys! How about another musical number?!" Izzy started to sing. "A pyramid is just a triangle with a room inside. I would be awesome as Frankenstein's bride! You're the Frankenstein, Cody! Well, technically Owen is, but you'll do for now!"

DJ, LeShawna, Harold and Heather ran through the maze.

"I hope we'll leave this place soon! It's a freaking labyrinth!" Stated queen bee.

"Less talking, more jogging!" Answered LeShawna.

"That's a real dog!"

Everyone stopped and looked at DJ, who was standing near the mummified animals.

"Poor little guy."

"DJ! We do not have time to cry over a stuffed dog!" Said LeShawna.

"Hey there, little buddy. Wish I had a biscuit to give 'ya!"

"Well, you don't have any. And how would you feed it anyway? It's dead! We should keep moving!" Heather was annoyed.

DJ patted the dead dog's back gently, but it disintegrated almost immediately under his touch. Everyone gasped loudly, when his action triggered a trap.

"What did I do?! What did I do?!"

"Scarabs!" Harold yelled. "Run!"

"Codykins! Where are you?!"

"Izzy! Izzy, stop hiding! Owen's here!"

Noah facepalmed. He wanted to say something, but the scary ghost noise interrupted him.


"W-what was that?" Asked Owen.


Sierra latched onto annoyed teen genius.


"Could you bend your knees a little bit?" Asked the uber-fan.


"I'd really love to hug Cody, but you're kind of taller than him, and if you were smaller, I could-"

"MERE MORTALS!" The deep voice took all three of them by surprise. "YOU DARE TO INTRUDE THE PLACE OF MY ETERNAL SLEEP! YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!"

Chris was laughing hard, while watching the screen with three teens running and screaming for their lives.

"Oh man" he wiped out a tear. "Hanging a hidden loud speakers to scare these kids even more was one of my better ideas! And all my ideas are great!"

"And your form is appalling!"

"Gee, thanks Courtney, I was just wondering about that! If you would just listen to me for a second…"

"I know what I'm doing! I was a CIT, you know?!"

"Really? Because you haven't informed everyone about it million times already!"

"Are you really letting her to talk to me like that, Duncan?"

The punk only sighed and rolled his eyes.

After a quick ride down, Bridgette and Alejandro landed safely on the ground.

"Ladies first" said the newcomer smoothly.

Suddenly, DJ, LeShawna, Harold and Heather came sprinting out of the pyramid, yelling and screaming. They stopped in their tracks after crossing the finish line.

"Aaaand… Congratulations! We have a team one!"

"We're first? We're first!" cheered DJ.

"In Egyptian," said Harold between heavy breaths, "it's Wāḩd."

Alejandro looked pleased, when he saw his new teammates.

Confession Cam:

Alejandro: "Excellent. With team like this I may as well spend a whole trip in the first class."

End of confession

They didn't have to wait long for Noah, Owen and Sierra to arrive, all three of them eager to leave the pyramid as quickly as possible.

"Hello, victims! I mean, competitors. You guys are now team two!"

"In Egyptian, it's Āthnyn." Chris glared at Harold.

Sierra looked around. "Wait! Codykins is still in the pyramid?!"

"Yep" the sadistic host flashed a smile. "You left him in the lurch. No, wait, it's way worse: you left him with Izzy! Shame on you."

Sierra gasped and turned around, ready to go back to the pyramid.

"Na-ah-ah! You already crossed the finish line. If you'll return, you'll be eliminated. Now go stand with your team!"

The uber-fan considered this, then sighed and went back to Noah and Owen.

It wasn't long before Ezekiel and Tyler with his forgetful girlfriend thrown on his arm ran out of the pyramid, screaming loudly, stopping only after crossing the finish line.

"Mummies, eh! Those were mummies inside! They're coming to eat our brains!"

"Isn't that zombies' job, man?"

"Yo, mummies have their brains taken out through their noses for mummification. They need all the organs they can get, but brain is pretty important, eh!"

This confused the jock. "Through their noses? How-"

"Oh no!" Screamed Lindsay. "They're here!"

Indeed, Izzy, still in bandages, ran out from the pyramid cackling maniacally and dragging Cody behind her.

"Oh, Cody! You made it!" Sierra ran towards her crush and gave him a suffocating hug.

"Aaaand hugs over" said Chris. "Man, Zeke, you actually survived. Eh, never mind, it's your funeral anyway! You and Tyler join the Team Two. Lindsay, Izzy and Cody: you're on Team Three."

"In Egyptian, it's-"

"Nobody cares, Harold."

"Wait, what? Does it mean Codykins won't be in the same team as I?" Asked Sierra.

"Yep. Pretty much" said Chris with the widest of his grins.

Confession Cam:

Sierra: "I've always dreamt of a day I would join the Total Drama cast. Thing is, my Codykins and me are at the different teams, so not only we won't be together, we will be playing against each other! Unless… Unless Chris would let me swap teams." She squeals loudly. "Oh, wouldn't that be great?! I'll just have to wait for a right moment to ask Chris!"

End of confession

"What happened to your toque?" Owen asked.

"The spears attacked us. I saved everyone though, eh!"

Cody looked around. "Where's Gwen? N-not like I care, just… Curious."

"Who's Gwen?" Asked Lindsay.

Izzy pointed at the pyramid's top, where three figures stood.

"I'm telling you: we need to UNTIE!" Gwen yelled.

"And I'm telling you it's unsafe!" Courtney responded, while Duncan was watching both girls in silence. "I'm in charge, and…"

"Oh… Kids!"

A familiar chime was heard.

"Recognize that sound?" Three teenagers looked down to see Chris using a megaphone. "So, how about some musical reprise?"

"You said ONE song per episode!" The punk screamed to the host.

"Yeah! And this is a reprise, not a new song! So, if you don't sing, you're out! Now let's hear it!"

"You know what? NO." Duncan started to jump down on the pyramid, not minding two girls tied to him. "No, no, no, no, no."

"Three hours of these two squawking on this stupid pyramid, in this stupide heat" when the punk finally stood up right before the host, he earned the glares from both Courtney and Gwen, "and you want me to sing? FORGET IT!"

"Dude, you have a contract!"

"Eat it, McLean! If you need me, I'll be in the plane, waiting for a ride home!" He took a knife from his pocket and cut the rope tied to him. "Cause I'm out, done, I QUIT!"

"Oh my. I wish I could update my blogs right now!" Whispered Sierra to herself.

Courtney and Gwen gasped, seeing Duncan leaving all of them alone, and not sparing them even a glance. Though the Goth girl was soon put out of her thoughts, when a familiar hand appeared on her eyesight.

"Hi," she looked up to see Cody, "looks like we're teammates!"

Confession Cam:

Cody: "Girls on the rebound are the best! They cry, and then you get to buy them a pop and listen and then, well, they still won't go out with you, but you get to buy them a pop!"

End of confession

"Wait" Courtney stood up and pointed at Gwen. "Please don't tell me I'm in one team with her!"

The CIT looked at her other teammates and decided that she was not happy with any of them. The Goth girl who was trying to steal Duncan from her, that annoying short geek who was staring at the said girl with puppy eyes, Little Miss Crazy and the dumb, annoying blonde. Ugh! What kind of team was that?! None of her friends were here! Well, sure, the second team consisted only a bunch of losers, but the first one had Bridgette and… Well… It had Bridgette. The only actual friend she made on this show. Sure, there was also Duncan… Who just left the competition and his girlfriend without a word of goodbye.

Things weren't looking good for Courtney.

Chris, still a little surprised about Duncan's decision, (and hoping the ratings won't decrease because of that,) glared at Courtney.

"Well, you'll have to deal with it, because this season I won't allow any team swapping! You take what you got. If you're not happy, then all right, be like Duncan McQuittypants and blow your chance to win one million dollars. Anyone?"

Sierra sighed sadly and looked into Cody's direction.

When nobody said a word, the host turned to the contestants with a big smile.

"Courtney, Gwen, you are on Team-"

"Thlāthh, or Three."

The sadistic host let out a weary sigh.

"Alright people, talk among yourselves and determine a team name! You have one minute, while I enjoy this ice-cream cone" the host took a strawberry ice-cream from the intern.

"Team Victory!" announced the first team quickly.

"Team Amazon!" decided the third group soon after.

The second one had some troubles with coming up with an appealing name for them.

"Team One… And Team Two!" Said Tyler.

"Team Food!"

Noah rolled his eyes. "This is hopeless" he muttered.

"Got it!" Everyone looked at Sierra with surprise. "Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot!"


But it was too late. The names have been chosen. Owen and Tyler exchanged surprised glances, while Noah and Ezekiel looked at Sierra with irritation and confusion respectively.

"All right, best team name ever. And here are your rewards: Team Amazon – you get a camel!"

Girls (plus Cody) stared at the animal with blank expressions, except Izzy, who grinned widely and clapped her hands.

"Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Really Hot…"

"Now there are five 'Reallys'?!" Asked Owen.

"…You win a goat!" The animal head butted Tyler.

"And Team Victory – here you go."

Six teenagers stared at their reward.

"You have got to be kidding" Heather was angry.

"So the guys who come in last win a camel and we get a stick?!" Complained LeShawna.

"All will be explained – if I feel like it," Chris turned to the camera man. "Next time! Right here! On Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The host turned to the contestants.

"Now, be good little children and wait here while I go back to Total Drama Jumbo Jet and summarize the first episode before the next one will begin."

"What? You expect us to stay here, in this heat?!" The queen bee sent Chris an angry look.

"Why, you want to go somewhere?" The intern arrived in the White Jeep and the host took its passenger seat. "I'll return… Maybe. When I feel like it!"

Every contestant groaned and complained, when Chris left.

"Oh… I get it! This season starts with two-parter!" Squealed Sierra, earning surprised (or annoyed in one particular case) glances from her teammates.

"Does it mean we'll have to sing again?" Complained Ezekiel.

"You weren't with us the last time we sang" Noah reminded him.

"I was, eh. I hid on a plane and sang my line. Don't worry, I won't get thrown out for not singing. I'll do anything to win, eh!"

"Is it just me, or Chris got even more obnoxious?" Groaned Heather.

"I'm already worried what will come next" LeShawna shook her head.

"Why is our mat yellow? We're no cowards! I demand different team color!" Girls looked at Harold surprised.

"That's your problem? Yellow color? Are you serious, nerd?" Scoffed queen bee.

"Watch it sister," LeShawna sent her former enemy an irritated look, before turning to Harold. "Relax sugar, the mat is gold, 'cause Team Victory is in the first place!"

"Yeah, I only hoped for a better reward for first place than a stick" said Bridgette sadly.

"Don't worry, senorita," Alejandro joined the conversation. "We need no camel to be the best team in competition."

Bridgette and LeShawna smiled dreamily and nodded their heads. Harold noticed that and looked at Heather to see if she had the same reaction, but she only narrowed her eyes at the newcomer.

Confession Cam:

Heather: "Wow, smooth talk" she rolled her eyes. "If it helps boosting my team's confidence, I'm not the one to argue. But if he wants to take a lead, he should think twice. Hello, I'm the born leader here!"


Bridgette: "Geoff, ok, I know, maybe it looks bad, but… I want you to know, that I was not swooning over Alejandro. It was just a heat! I just want to run my fingers through your thick, dark… Blonde! Blonde hair!"

End of confession

Sierra was looking into Cody's direction with a small, dreamy smile on her face.

"Yo, Sierra, what was the deal with the team's name? I didn't know we agreed for that one, eh?" Ezekiel walked to the fangirl.

"Because we didn't?" Answered Noah instead of her. "It seems that Miss Stalker here thinks she knows what's the best for the group. Right, Sierra?"

After not getting any answer, Ezekiel waved his hand in front of the taller girl's face. It woke her up from the trance.

"Huh? Oh. Hey guys!" She smiled brightly at the boys. "How is it going? Are you excited? Don't you think Cody looks cute today?"

"Yeah… I'm Not going to answer that" Noah exchanged glances with Zeke.

"I can't believe Duncan got disqualified! Only because he won't sing!" Said Gwen to no one in particular.

"More like quit the game" Courtney sighed. "And now he's stuck on the plane, waiting for the ride home! Poor thing… He must miserable."

"Yeah, but at least he has an air conditioning there, right?" Lindsay tried to cheer up her teammate while waving herself with hand.

Suddenly the thought of quitting the game crossed everyone's mind, but the prospect of winning one million dollars soon granted a return to the sad, hot reality.

"Duncney's fans will be devastated," Sierra walked to Team Amazon to talk with Izzy, "but I think you and Owen have a shot becoming favorite Total Drama couple on my fan site!"

So it were not only numerous blogs about each contestant, but a fan site as well. Noah wondered if the girl had even a slightest idea what normal life looked like.

Then again, he wasn't really the best person to judge that.

"Owen's magic!" Said Izzy happily. "When he breathes, his nose whistles a national anthem!"

"Super cute! But he's no Cody. Did you know Cody slept with a stuffed emu named Jerry until he was… Well ok, he still does."

"And you know this how?" Asked Noah behind her.

"I called his aunt once. I pretended I was a telemarketer!"

"Oooh… Stalkericious" said bookworm in complete deadpan.

"Isn't that just one of the cutest thing you've ever heard?" Squealed the tall girl.

"I'm at loss of words" both of them walked back to their teammates.

"I told you that I know everything about him!"

"I've gathered as much."

"I'm just sad that I can't be in one team with him" she sighed. "Not that you guys are bad, even if… Even if, you know…"

"Yes?" Noah raised an eyebrow, heavily suspecting why the girl hesitated to talk further.

"Um… Well, that besides Owen, you guys didn't get far in the competition, but…" She noticed the stares all boys from her team were giving her. "But, you know, with all our abilities combined, at least some of us will get to the merge, I'm sure of it!"

"To the merge, eh? We may as well all go there, you'll see!"

"That's the spirit, Ezekiel! They just don't know what our team is capable of!" Cheered Tyler.

Sierra beamed at boys.

"Yeah, but what exactly our team is…" Owen was interrupted by a gong.

Everyone turned around to see that Chris was already back, eating fresh, cold grapes, leaning on the very irritated intern while being fanned by the other one with a big leaf.

"Don't know about you guys, but I'm loving Egypt" he threw another fresh grape into his mouth. "And I'm gonna love it even more, watching you enjoy your second challenge: 'The Amazing Camel Race'!"

"Where are the other camels?" Asked Harold.

"There are no other camels. It's a camel race, not camels race."

"Yay!" Izzy jumped on the camel's neck.

"Perfect" murmured Noah.

"We won last time!" Opposed LeShawna. "How is the stick going to help us in the challenge?"

"Each reward has its advantages, trust me. You'll be racing to the world's most infamous waterway: the Nile! Teams must bring their rewards all the way to the finish line. You have five minutes to strategize!"

Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot stared at the goat with blank expressions, while in turn it stared at them with complete and utter disgust.

"What exactly are we supposed to do with the goat?" Said Tyler.

"You guys, maybe we can ride it!" Ezekiel approached the animal.

"Right" Noah rolled his eyes. "Any other bright ideas?"

"I'm serious, eh! If we'll do it right, we may spend the whole challenge on goat's back! It's a race after all!" A prairie boy patted goat's head and got head butted in response.

"Uh-uh. And it will do such a great job carrying the lunchbox and four other people" including the enormous stalker girl. Noah knew better than comment Sierra's size, but she was tall and therefore heavy enough to cause almost as much problems as Owen in this challenge. Even the camel would have problems with five of them on its back.

There was some stir in Team Victory, where DJ accidentally threw the stick at bird, but Noah ignored this, as he was more interested in Sierra and Tyler staring at Team Amazon, where all girls were already sitting on camel's back and Cody was (unsuccessfully) trying to flirt with Gwen. After Lindsay said something, all Amazonians, except tech geek and confused blonde girl, started to laugh.

"What? Was it something I said?" asked Lindsay. She looked at her teammates, abruptly realizing something. "Oh, wait. Where are you going to sit, Colby? Come up here, silly!"

And so Cody was placed between Lindsay and Gwen (perhaps Noah should have played a mummy with Izzy – a prospect of being in one team with four hot girls wasn't that bad after all. A few other boys also seemed to look into Cody's direction with slight envy.) Needless to say, Sierra and Tyler didn't look amused.

"We need no camel!" Noah's head turned towards Team Victory, where Alejandro started his speech. "We have each other! And we are unstoppable! We have the will, and the strength, and together we will triumph!"

Bookworm noticed Bridgette and LeShawna watching a newcomer in absolute awe, DJ with thoughtful smile, Heather's frown and Harold looking strangely at the queen bee.

"Al is such a motivator!" Said Owen all of sudden. "Wish I could be such a smooth talker" he laughed.

"He is smooth, alright" murmured Noah and turned to look at the goat, earning an angry bleat.

So one team had good players, the other had good players and the camel and his team… Let's see: the extremely clumsy jock, his big, fat and gassy best friend, the prairie boy and a fangirl who specialized in stalking and creeping people out.

Apparently he was the only with the brains here, so… No, nope, he was out of ideas. How was their reward having any advantages? At least the first team didn't have anything that would be slowing them down.

"I know how we can do this!" Announced Ezekiel, as the only team member who still had hope that his team's reward could prove useful. "Sierra and Owen will sit first, then, on their backs, Noah and Tyler, and I'll balance you all, eh!"

"You sure about that?" Even ever optimistic Owen was suspicious.

"It's better than carrying the goat, eh?"

"As long as we won't break it's spine" Noah rolled his eyes.

"Yo, Sierra, Tyler, come over here!" Both of them finally stopped staring at Lindsay and Cody and listened to Zeke's instructions.

The fangirl sat on angry goat along with Owen. Poor animal bleated with disapproval when Noah and Tyler added weight by sitting on their teammates' backs.

"This is so cool, Zeke!" said happy Owen while Ezekiel climbed on the top of their little pyramid.

Confession Cam:

Ezekiel: "I've read about weight distribution. If I'll do this right, we may end up balanced. I never did it before, sitting with four other people on one tiny goat, I mean. I've only played being absolutely confident about my idea, just don't tell the others, eh!"

End of confession


"Watch it!"


"Sorry, eh!"

The prairie boy was finally standing on Noah and Tyler's shoulders. "Right. So when I'll stand up correctly…" Ezekiel moved his foot.

Suddenly everyone felt comfortable. Well, as comfortable as five teens on the goat could get. Even the farm animal looked pleased.

The Zeke evented out the instability with his own body.

"Wow! We're perfectly balanced! Good job, dude!" Tyler gave Ezekiel a thumbs up.

Zeke, dumbfounded for a second or two, eventually beamed proudly.

"Yo, I told it would work. Did you really have any doubts?"

"Well, if you really want to know-" Started Noah.

"All right, time's over! Nile is that way" announced Chris. "Kind of big, blue and watery, can't miss it. Or I guess you can, but you'll die. Probably get killed by the local scarab beetles. It's mating season and they get all killy when they're in heat."

"I'm so glad there aren't any around here, those things are nasty!" Said LeShawna to Bridgette.

The host chuckled after overhearing that. "I'll tell them you said so."

Chef toppled down an ancient vase and released many scarab beetles on the path to reach the contestants.

"Motivated enough?" Laughed Chris. "Now go!"

Only after all teens escaped the scarabs the challenge truly started. The camel with Amazonians was on the lead, Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot following right behind. Team Victory was far after them. And was out of their breaths.

"We must hurry!" Somehow Heather found enough energy to yell at the others. "I don't want to lose this! Go, go, go!"

"Hey guys, looks like we're winning!" Announced Lindsay cheerfully.

The CIT turned her head to opposing team. "Eat sand, losers!"

"Yo, Courtney, it's not nice thing to say" answered Zeke. "You don't have to be that competitive all the time, eh."

"Says you" the mocha skinned girl snorted. "Don't you remember that you were voted out first? You could learn something about the game, sexist!"

"I'm not sexist, eh!"

"Shhh!" Izzy interrupted the conversation. "Guys, keep it down, ok, I'm trying to tell her a fairytale!" She tapped the camel's neck and let a series of strange noises. "…Princess! Hehehe!"

"No, really, you all got me wrong back then, eh!" Screamed Ezekiel after Team Amazon whose camel quickened their pace.

"Better start looking for the Nile, Homeschool" said Noah.

"I'm serious! My dad kept telling me that girls are much more weak than guys and I was taught that I'm supposed to protect them, eh."

"Nobody cares" bookworm rolled his eyes.

"So I came to the competition not knowing there were girls like Eva. Or Courtney. So scary, I mean. And strong, eh."

"Fascinating. Now could you just…"

"I totally know what you mean, Zeke!" Boys looked at Sierra. "I read the bios we've done before we got there. Why didn't you explain everything back on the island?"

"I didn't know what I've done wrong! And the girls wouldn't listen to me anyway, eh! I did learn my lesson, though!" Even the goat stopped walking and turned its head towards the prairie boy. "I won't have to protect the girls, I'll just take care of myself and my team, then, after the merge, shove every other competitor out of my way, girl or not and make sure I win this thing, eh!"

"…Right" said Noah after a moment of silence. "Can you see the Nile?"

"There's sand, sand, sand and more sand here. No rivers in sight. I can't even see the Team Amazon anymore, eh!"

"Can you see the Nile, Izzy?" Asked Gwen.

"No," Izzy moved camel's mouth. "Not yet!"

"It's got to be around here!" Courtney looked around her. "Hey, when did the other team disappear?"

"What? We're all alone out here?!" Besides the CIT only Gwen looked concerned. Izzy was chilling out on Ruby's neck, Lindsay was trying to sunbath and Cody was still enjoying his position. "Does anyone know where we are?!"

Izzy laughed. "Planet Earth, silly" she rolled her eyes playfully.

"We're lost!"

In the meantime Team Victory was running.

"Didn't we pass that cactus, like, ten minutes ago?" Asked Bridgette.

"Don't they all looked the same?" Heather scoffed.

"No, she's right, it's the same one" LeShawna gasped. "We've been running in circles!"

Her teammates stopped running and groaned loudly.

"Seriously guys?! How could you pick the same way over and over again?!" The queen bee complained.

"I'm sure we can still find a way to the Nile, amigos" Alejandro said smoothly. "We're not called Team Victory for nothing!"

"Yeah, he's right" LeShawna smiled at the newcomer.

"Totally right" added Bridgette, following her friend's lead.

Team CIRRRRH was still looking for a Nile.

"Still no sign of water, eh!"

Sierra sighed. "I might regret it later, but…" She took out a phone from her pocket.

"You smuggled a mobile phone on the plane?" Noah was taken aback despite still wearing his bored expression.

"It wasn't that hard" she responded while pressing the buttons. "As the biggest TD fan I knew what to do. But now, after being caught on the vision Chris no doubt will take this from me. Anyway, my phone has GPS, we might find the river in few minutes flat! However, the signal is lost."

Sierra extended her arm above her.

"Come on, come on…" she moved her hand before her.

"Be careful, Sierra, I'm losing balance here, eh!"

The uber-fan didn't hear him. "Work dammit!"

She threw her arm strongly enough to send herself, her teammates and the goat on the ground.

Bing bing!

"Yes! I got it! I have the signal!"

The boys only groaned in response.

Courtney and Gwen were arguing.

"That way!"

"No, we should go that way!"

"Hey, guys, why don't we ask Ruby?" Asked Izzy and then cheerfully made an intelligible noises. The camel responded and turned around.

"There! Shouldn't be long now!"

"Oh please, it's just a coincidence that a camel changed direction!" Complained the CIT.

"Hey, look over there!" Lindsay happily pointed something before her.

"The finish line!"

"Weird, I asked Ruby where we can get some lemonade, but it's okay too, I guess!"

Alejandro's attempts of boosting a confidence in his team started to slowly die.

"We've been running for four hours! We're never going to win at this rate!" Lamented DJ.

"Lost in Egypt! Ain't that a kick in the pants!" LeShawna was irritated.

"We were first last time! How could we get such a useless piece of… Augh! How is it supposed to help us?!" Heather kicked a sand.

"Please, ladies, we still may find the way!"

"From first place to last. Gosh!" With the last word Harold broke the reward in half and threw both pieces on the ground. One of them started to move and the ultra-nerd gasped with a sudden realization. "It's a divining rod!"

"Um, I don't speak geek" the queen bee gagged a little.

"A diving you helps you find water" LeShawna narrowed her eyes.

"Chris said that every reward has its advantages" DJ reminded them. "That stick will lead us straight to the Nile!"

Team Victory cheered.

"You see? Everything turned out perfectly for us" Alejandro smiled his best smile at the girls. Only Heather remained unfazed and rolled her eyes, as Bridgette and LeShawna smiled dreamily.

"Oh, Team Amazon!" The host was glad that somebody finally showed up. "Welcome to the finale Egyptian challenge: Basket Weaving!"


Chris shouted something back.

"Oh, great" the CIT turned to her teammates. "How can we possibly finish the challenge, if we don't know what to do?!"

"I SAID," teens could hear the host very clearly now thanks to his megaphone, "WELCOME TO THE THIRD AND FINAL EGYPTIAN CHALLENGE! BASKET WEAVING!"

Lindsay threw her arms up with a shriek and Cody fell on the ground. Gwen put hands on her ears and only Izzy seemed to have fun as she threw her hands up in the air and laughed maniacally.

"Do it again!" She screamed.


"Is he serious?!" Courtney groaned. "Fine, let's get working!"

"Um, does anyone here even know how to weave a boat?" Gwen looked at her teammates and after getting no answer she sighed. "I guess not."

After fifteen minutes or so Team Victory found their way to the river.

"Look guys, we're not on the last place!" DJ cheered.

"Weave a basket, get your team and reward on the other side, yadayada!" Said Chris through the megaphone.

"You heard the man!" Screamed LeShawna. "And you're lucky to have me here! I'm a weaving expert!" She smiled brightly at the handsome newcomer.

Eventually a little bruised up Team CIRRRRH arrived on their goat.

"Whoohoo! Look guys, we made it!" Owen was overjoyed.

"There's the finish line!" Cheered Tyler.

"Yeah, on the other side!" The ever pessimistic Noah complained.

After hearing this the goat decided that it has enough and collapsed on the ground, taking boys and Sierra with it. The other teams and both hosts laughed at the sight of this scene.

"Ow! Watch it, eh!"

"Sorry, dude, Sierra's hair blocked my vision"


The three of them more or less stood up.

"Say, where's Noah?"

When Owen finally joined his teammates, he revealed crushed bookworm, who finally gasped for air.

"Oh, it's like the second time it happened!" Sierra took out her notes and scribbled something in it. "That goes on the blog!"

"Seriously?" Noah sighed and got up as well.

"Yo, guys, what's the challenge?"

"Weave a boat and get yourselves and the goat face to Chris" explained the goth girl.


"She's talking about the goat, genius."

"Oh. Cool. Thanks."

"Gwen, why are you helping the other team?! Are you trying to throw our game?" Courtney complained.

"Seriously? Chris would tell them what to do anyway!"

"This is perfect!" cheered Sierra.

"What, the fact that we're hosed?" Shrugged Noah.

And then the new girl did something unexpected: she placed hands on his shoulders and smiled at him mere inches from his face.

That freaked the bookworm out, even if just a little bit.

"I'm a fourth generation basket weaver!"

Personal space. Personal space. Go away. Go away now.

"Yeah!" cheered Owen from the ground.

I'm getting a little claustrophobic here…

Sierra gave Owen a concerned look and finally let go of Noah.

"We're gonna need a lot of weeds" she started picking them up.

Sierra worked as fast as she could and showed everyone that she had a reason to be proud of her skills. The boys were bringing her weeds, while she was working extremely fast on their boat.

"Hm. It does look solid enough" somewhat reluctantly, Noah grinned at Sierra. She simply send him a big smile and got back to work.

Well, he used up his weekly teammate compliment on her (as he promised himself that he would work harder and as a part of the team this time,) so he could go back to his natural, pessimistic and sarcastic state.

Team Chris' boat didn't escape the attention of the other competitors. Courtney looked at hers and sighed. Now she knew why camel was a prize for the last place. How in the world her team was going to build something that would hold this huge animal, four teen girls (Gwen's heavy makeup and Lindsay's… baggage only added to the weight, the CIT had her share of seething thoughts) and the little dweeb? For now their construction wasn't big and stable enough, despite her hard work. Well, Gwen and Cody's too, she had to reluctantly admit, (since Lindsay didn't exactly know what to do and Izzy was more eager to play a Chinese guy after sticking the weeds in her nose,) but she still was the most hardworking and valuable asset to team, obviously.

Heather narrowed her eyes at Sierra's unfinished creation.

"Hurry up, people!"

"We're almost done, Heather" the Spaniard calmed her down (well, more like attempted to calm her down.) "I must admit though, without LeShawna's weaving skills and Harold's luck, knowledge and observation, we wouldn't be here. I'm glad I have such talented teammates."

Once again, Heather rolled her eyes.

"You're right! Thanks Al, you're a real pal!" Harold snorted. "It rhymed."

'Al' shivered.

Confession Cam:

Alejandro: "I have no problem being called 'Al.'" He shivers. "Err… That wasn't… It's just… Chilly. In here." He shivers once more and sends a worried glance towards camera.


Heather: "Oh, he's good. Too good. Seriously, what is his deal? He's just so…" The queen bee let herself a dreamy smile. "Perfect" she realizes what she just said and groans.

End of confession

Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot was first to finish their boat.

"I'm not going to lose this challenge!" Courtney groaned and started to weave even faster.

"Good work, eh! There's no way we're going to lose this one!"

"Well yeah, but who takes a goat?" Owen asked.

All five of them looked at their reward, the animal, feeling their stares, stopped eating the weeds and angrily bleated at them.

"He doesn't like me, guys. He headbutted me the last time, remember?" Said Tyler.

"How do you know it's a dude? Did you check it? Maybe it's a girl and you just insulted her, eh!"

"Dude, calm down, I didn't mean anything by that!"

The goat looked insulted that these kids wanted something from it after getting them through the desert already.

"I'll go!" Announced Sierra as she skipped to the animal and lowered herself. "Who's the cutie goat? Yes you are! Yes you are! Now come on, get on the boat, it will be fun!"

The goat disagreed with the strange purple-haired girl's idea of fun and headbutted her right into the bookworm.

"You know, there are just so many hits I can take for one day" Noah groaned.

"I haven't done it on purpose! Sheesh, delicate much?"

"I'm guessing it's going on the blog too?"

"I'm planning to talk about our whole day on my fan sites, so yes! Well, if you're asking about crashing you… Perhaps I should make two separate countdowns, one with Owen and the second with everyone else…"

"Because we can't just assume that I won't be crushed by anyone anymore."

"Nah" Sierra shook her head. "But I hope I'll get to bump into Cody someday. Every day!" She sighed dreamily.

"That would be preferable."

"Come on guys!" They turned their heads to see Heather waving at her teammates to get into the boat. "Don't waste time!"

"Oh no, they already started! Goat, come here! Please, goatie!" Sierra called the animal. It only turned the head and went back to eating weeds.

"Come on," Owen walked to the goat. "We can't lose the challenge! Please?"

The animal bleated once more and headbutted the big guy. To its astonishment, the human hadn't even move an inch.

"It tickles! Hahahaha!"

"Owen! Grab the goat and come on! We have to hurry!"

"Me? Okay then. Easy now…"

With a goat and more than few bruises on his arms, Owen joined his teammates on the boat and they started paddling.

"Yes! Woohoo!"

"Don't put him… Err… Her down, she'll eat the boat!" Said Sierra.

"And seriously, dude, stop licking the goat's head, it's still alive!"

Courtney growled, seeing here enemies on the Nile already.

"Finished!" She announced to her team. "Get on the boat!"

"Wait, shouldn't we check if it floats first?" Asked Gwen. "I don't want to be crocodiles' food, you know…"


Team Amazon listened to their self-called leader and Cody pushed the boat onto the Nile right before jumping in.

"It floats" announced Gwen gladly.

"Well of course. I built it after all. Now paddle! Move, move, move!"

"How do you paddle again?" Asked Lindsay.


"Wonderful" Chris smiled sadistically. "Time for a song!"

The teens groaned.

Crocodiles grow in numbers started Alejandro, looking at the animals in the water, The Nile is filled with them

Every day we suffer more Noah groaned.

Each day the ratings grow added Sierra cheerfully. She smiled brightly, as the bookworm looked even more annoyed.

Yes, Crocodiles grow in numbers sang everyone, A fight that we can't win

But if we'll start paddling faster, Heather glared at her teammates We may escape from here!

The teens had a major problems with the crocodiles and started to attack the animals with their paddles. Ezekiel broke his and Tyler accidentally hit himself in the head.

Yes, sadly that was LeShawna.

Crocodiles grow in numbers all sixteen of them sang, The Nile is full of them

Every day we suffer more Courtney hit one of the crocodiles with a paddle There are more broken bones! "Ha! Serves you right!" She screamed after the traumatized crocodile who was escaping as quickly as he could.

Yes, Crocodiles grow in numbers again, all competitors sang, A fight that we can't win

But if we'll start paddling faster, Team Victory was the first to get out of their boat and run across the finish line, Team Chris and Team Amazon respectively followed them.

We may even win again! The members of Team Victory sang the last line cheerfully.

Chris clapped his hands.

"Alright, Team Victory! You guys will enjoy first class tonight! Team I Am So Super Hot, you're not first, but not on the last place either, so you're safe. And Team Amazon are the sore losers!"

Courtney growled.

"But, since Duncan already left the competition, I'll be nice and make it a reward challenge," the Amazonians cheered, "as long as you brought your team reward with you. So?"

"Here's the stick!" Heather handed the host her team's item.

"It's a diving rod! Gosh!"

"Izzy, tell the camel to go to Chris!"

"Oh, but she just started to talk about her family!"

"Now, Izzy!"

"And here's the go- Owen, stop chewing on her head, eh!"

Chris cleared his throat. "And Sierra. Your phone?"

The newcomer sighed wearily and gave it to the host. Her teammates felt a little uncomfortable, seeing the usually cheerful uber-fan looking down at her feet.

"Um.. Sierra, you did good today, am I right guys?" Said Owen.

"Yo, we still would be lost on the desert if it weren't for you!" Ezekiel praised.

"Wicked skills, dude… ette. Awesome!" Tyler also had something to add.

All three of them looked expectantly at Noah, who rolled his eyes. Hadn't he already wasted a compliment on her today? Oh well.

"…What they said."

She gave them a little smile in response and they also felt a little better. Even the pessimistic bookworm, to his own surprise.

"How long will I have to wait for a ride home?" Asked Duncan, after catching Chris in the elimination room.

"What? You quit the game and expect us to work with you? Nah" McLean snapped his fingers and intern handed him a bag with a parachute.

"You have got to be kidding me" the delinquent raised an eyebrow.

"Um, no. I make witty one-liners very often, but now I'm not joking. Bye bye!" The sadistic host threw the parachute at Duncan, sending him down in the middle of a desert.

In the economy section Team Chris and Amazon were sitting quietly, until Sierra joined them.

"Here you are, Cody!" She crushed the tech geek in the hug. "I know, I wish we were on the same team too!"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Well you're not. Now go back to your team! We do not align ourselves with the enemies."

"Oh please, don't stay in a way of a true love. Unless" the tall girl gasped "unless you want him all for yourself! He's mine, sister!"

"What?! No, gross! I'm in happy relationship with Duncan, thank you very much! Speaking of whom, has anyone saw him?"

"Oh, Chris just threw him out of the plane" said Sierra casually.

"What?!" Courtney and Gwen both screamed. "Chris!" The CIT ran out of the room with goth girl following her.

The uber-fan sighed heavily. "That's what you get when you pick a guy like Duncan. The only ideal man here is Cody!"

"You guys look totally cute together!" Said Izzy.

"I know! But thank you. Say thank you, Cody!"

"Can't… Breathe…"

"I know, right! You guys know who make a cute couple too? Tyler and me!"

Tyler and I Noah couldn't help but automatically correct Lindsay in his head.

"If I only knew where he was" the blonde sighed sadly.

"Oh, oh, I know, I know!" Owen waved his hand and pointed at the jock. "He's right here!"

"Yes, it's me! I'm Tyler!"

"It's him, eh!" Ezekiel decided to help his new friend. "I saw him on TV!"

"Oh please! Do you really think I wouldn't recognize my boyfriend?"

Noah rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long season.

Team Victory: Harold, LeShawna, DJ, Bridgette, Heather and Alejandro

Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Noah, Owen, Ezekiel, Tyler and Sierra

Team Amazon: Cody, Gwen, Izzy, Lindsay and Courtney

Eliminated: Duncan

Next chapters probably won't be as long as this one. I just wanted to establish the teams and interactions. So no, as I said at the beginning, I won't follow every single character step by step. There are characters of my choosing that I will focus on more than the others. They're all getting at least a mention and a few lines of dialogue, don't worry, I'll try not to miss anyone.

Also, about the characters – are their characterizations okay? I'm trying to not make them OOC, but if you'll guys see something that doesn't match the character let me know!

I've had so many, many different scenarios in my head about the teams selection (and the order of eliminations): what if it was like in canon except Sierra and Izzy haven't swapped, or Cody and Owen swapped instead, perhaps Zeke would join Team Amazon instead of Victory, or maybe he simply didn't lose the rod, or if he did anyway, Victory would vote off DJ. There was even a moment when Team Chris consisted of Noah, DJ, Heather, Harold and Sierra. What if it had a different competitors than in the canon (it quickly died, however, since I wanted to see what I could do with this bunch.) It came down to four goals: a) Noah and Sierra in one team, because their personalities could lead to the hilarious conversations (even better if Cody was kept in a different team.) b) Ezekiel stays and interacts with either Tyler or Harold (or both of them) a lot. Now this one was hard to choose, but it eventually came down to thinking that I wanted Harold with LeShawna and Heather plus Harold can still talk with both guys. c) Noah and Owen in one team, preferably also with Tyler and in Team Chris. I'm not the biggest Owen fan, but I really liked Noah and Owen's friendship, so I wanted to at least mention that in my story as well. Plus it made sense with a pyramid challenge. I was content when I wrote these down, but I had a nasty feeling that I was missing something, thus: d) Heather and LeShawna are still on friend-ish terms. I remember how angry I was when the writers totally forgot about that. Why? Why did you include that in TDA if it went nowhere? Then again, you guys wasted a lot of perfectly good plots, but this one is one of the most obvious ones. I was also thinking about renewing Courtney and Bridgette's friendship but it made sense that Courtney wanted to be with Duncan and Bridgette didn't want to join the criminal she disliked in a pyramid challenge. Plus, as noted in the story, Courtney is all alone and has to be much more cautious and the girls can still talk to each other between the challenges. So yeah, I'm glad that I finally made a decision and it came down to this (even if writing Team Amazon without Heather is weird.)

The song isn't perfect, but since I'm not a big fan of the original I've decided to give it a try and might do it again with few other songs. The lyrics aren't very good, but I just assumed that these kids just started their music career on the show and don't know any better yet. So the lyrics were bad on purpose. Yes. (Plus, the worse the singing, the higher the ratings =)) I'm wondering if anyone of you will guess on which real life song I based this one. Here's a hint: I enjoyed listening to this one while shooting some bandits, raiders and random monsters via V.A.T.S. system :P

Apparently Ezekiel's dad told him to protect girls, although Zeke was confused by this since meeting Eva on the Island. And then they turned the character with potential into monster because?...

I might change few places and challenges, due to four locations being in Canada and three in USA (four, if you count that bit in 'Niagara Brawls'.) It's a World Tour, why they would go back to their country/continent so many times? It bothered me to no end, since there were just so many different places they could visit (and still more or less keep challenges the same as they were in the show,) but first I would like to hear what do you think about this idea. Stick to the show or go on the writing spree?

Thanks for reading and please, leave your reviews, I would love to hear your thoughts about the story (and the quality of my English).