A/N: Hello there. This is my first foray into this fandom so let's see how it goes, shall we? Beware, yare be smut and rambling ahead.
Special thanks to QueenOfCitrus for her dedication in dealing with my sorry ass. Hop on over and read her story Bars, it's beautifully smutty.
Lives were made and broken everyday on whims.
Entire squads of men could fall prey to one seemingly insignificant mistake. Sacrificed due to a lack of self-discipline. Victims of an urge. It was important to be able to improvise, to change plans rapidly if need be, but you still always had to think. Too often humans were driven by emotions, caught up in petty wants and needs, seduced into putting their own interests above others. Too many times had rational orders been ignored for the sake of pride or reckless fury. Sentiment could spread like poison on a battlefield, crippling everyone's sanity until only chaos and primal fear remained. It had happened countless times before, leaving behind only nightmares and mangled bodies.
Decisions made on impulses cost lives, plain and simple, and because of this Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman understood the importance of keeping his wits.
Being a first-hand witness to the horrors the world had to offer, it hadn't taken him long to learn how to detach. Uncontrolled rage only produced suffering and pride only brought shame. These were lessons he had learned through experience and ones he was not likely to forget. An iron-will kept his soldiers alive and if Levi had to be strong then he had to be strong for everyone.
A good solider followed orders because it kept him and his comrades alive. It was when you stepped outside the line, acted for the benefit of yourself, that you risked fucking up everything for everyone. Control was the key to survival. Levi felt rage just like everyone else for every needless death at the hands of the freaks that tried to run a world that didn't belong to them but he froze that fury inside himself, held onto it in a covetous way, only releasing it with the slice of his blades, because he could not and would not let it go to waste, let it erupt in a burst of heat that fizzled out and accomplished nothing in the end.
It wasn't easy for most to close themselves off the way that he had. To be able to watch a trusted comrade get crunched between a set of teeth and keep moving, keep thinking, stop feeling, but they all learned eventually, or they died. Mourning came later, in whatever form you sought, but it came later.
His subordinates could not see him falter, would not see him break in even the most minute of ways, so he grounded himself behind his blockade of resolve and made a promise to himself as much as to them that he would remain solid above all else.
If they called him cold, it was never dared uttered in his presence and if they commented on his lack of social skills it was in hushed whispers behind closed doors, because to his face there were only salutes and respect and he expected no more or less from his men than their compliance and their lives.
He knew it was only his duty to give them the same in return.
Obedience did not come naturally to Corporal Levi, far from it, in truth. He had to put more effort into it than anything else he did. Even now he struggled against the asinine and disgusting tendencies of the privileged and their swine, but he understood the value of bending his head and playing the game. Cunning and skill had gotten him where he was today, not hot-headed words and blind acts of self-righteous rebellion.
He ruled his life through discipline. Trained his body and mind to conform to the ideas that he had sold his soul to. Awoke before his subordinates everyday because a leader had to lead. Only ate after his soldiers had taken their own food because sacrifices came from everywhere not just from those who were low in rank. He stayed up far past when everyone else had fallen into exhaustion because responsibility weighed heavy and he had always been strong.
He could only hope that his comrades never saw his shoulders sag under the weight.
His endeavors to remain stoic in the face of any type of situation may have seemed effortless to any who viewed and respected the corporal but in reality that was not the case. It was a constant struggle. War had an ugly face and Levi had donned its mask several times, doing things that he could never take back, things that would crush him if he let them, but he didn't, wouldn't, because he couldn't afford to. So he kept his eyes looking forward, knowing that glancing back only meant death.
His way of living was not without consequences. He held himself to the same standards off the battlefield as he did on it and it had significantly taken a toll on his personal life, not that there was much of one to be found in their line of work. Diligence was not something that could easily be discarded and picked back up again, it had to be maintained and practiced, he couldn't afford to stop for a moment and let himself get caught up in the petty pleasures of the "everyday man". Duty would not wait for affection and memories of wasted nights in black, dingy alleys only solidified his resolve to not seek his satisfaction with fellow soldiers. If he had urges then he dealt with them, alone and efficiently, but he would not subject himself to his baser instincts, not when there were so many more important things that he could be doing.
That's why he ignored every glance and gesture that was thrown his way.
Despite putting out an aura that was anything but inviting, there were those who were brave enough to still form an attraction to him. He caught their blushes and their gazes and their stuttered words but he ignored every single one, squashing any intention they may have had. If they didn't take the hint from his lack of response then he made sure to shut them down directly, because he was never one to leave doubt in anyone's mind. The answer was no, it would always be no, and they needed to direct their feelings toward someone else, or better yet, put that
misdirected effort into their work.
And he had never failed at remaining tenacious, never caved into the sensations that tried to dictate his nature. Most of the time he found his admirers to be disgusting anyway. Just sniveling little brats who couldn't keep their emotions in check, letting their intentions and thoughts be displayed so plainly on their features. Most of the time that alone was enough to send him sneering and walking away, but there had been the occasional person throughout the years, few and far between, who had made his gaze linger, made his resolve crack in the tiniest of ways.
Humanity's Strongest was still only human after all.
Still, he had always pulled away, never succumbed, because it was a part of himself that he couldn't give up. They would never be worthy of his affection and even more so he would never be worthy of theirs, not when monsters outnumbered people and there were orders to follow.
How could Levi give himself to a person and still be able to give himself to everyone?
He had never once slipped up in his priorities, not after he had learned what it cost, and he was determined to live and die by his duty.
And it all had been going remarkably smoothly for Corporal Levi until one brat had
decided to turn his infuriatingly green eyes in his direction.
He had noticed immediately, as perceptive as he was, when Eren Jaeger's expression of admiration and intimidation had turned into something darker and more closely resembling lust, but it took him far longer to accept it.
Eren was an unstable venture and a child, no less, and almost immediately his hot-headed tendencies had rubbed Levi the wrong way. The kid was too impulsive, too quick to follow his urges and not think about the consequences of his actions. The titan shifter personified everything that grated on the corporal's very thin nerves, but despite that, despite the fact that Eren did things that made him grind his teeth… The kid had passion.
Probably more than he had ever seen.
Levi's first glimpse of it had been the first time he had ever met the teenager. It had seeped out of him in thick waves as Jaeger declared that his dream was to kill every last titan in existence, his eyes and maniacal grin boiling over with something that edged on insanity and made Levi's gut tighten. And for a second Levi had believed that the words that the boy had spoken were true, that with his unique abilities and his towering rage this child could and would rip apart every last one of them with his bare hands.
Even so, Levi had squelched that feeling as quickly as it had come. Sure, Eren had an ability that could come in very handy to humanity's plight but it did no one any good piling false hope into something you weren't even sure you could control. He could not place his aspirations on the shoulders of a boy he might be ordered to kill one day. The only faith he could place was on himself and even that wore thin most days.
Death came for everyone in the end and sometimes, in the latest of hours, he wondered if they were all just waiting for their turn.
Eren Jaeger seemed to defy it.
In the most arrogantly unintentional and reckless ways.
He put no thought into anything he did. He just acted. Yes, the boy had dedication, had drive, but it didn't mean squat if he couldn't control himself.
For Levi it had been solidified that the brat was ruled by his rage in the way he had glowered up in pure fury while Levi had taught him a valuable lesson and saved his ungrateful life.
Eren was a mongrel, rabid and untrained. So Levi had corrected this problem. With his boots and his gloved fists he had made a promise with every bruise he'd left on that tanned skin. No matter how powerful Eren thought he was or thought he could become, he would always end up back under Levi's polished heel, face bloody and pressed against the ground.
Those eyes had never looked at him that way again.
Though, Levi probably would have preferred that gaze to the one that he had recently been subjected to.
It had started in the month they had spent testing and training the young titan shifter. It was barely noticeable at first, just quick glances and a catch in the boy's voice when he spoke to him, but Levi saw it nevertheless. When he had protected Eren during his little "accident", putting himself between the panicked kid and his even more frightened comrades, that's when the inkling of something behind Eren's eyes had solidified.
Jaeger was still reckless, still driven by bloodlust to the point of instability, but he was faithful and worked endlessly to impress and earn the respect of his fellow Brothers in Arms. He trained harder than most soldiers that Levi had come in contact with, pushing himself well past what might be another person's limit and if Levi happened to be watching him, then he made sure to work even harder.
Eren addressed Levi every chance he got, rising early every morning to make sure he was the first person in the mess hall to greet the corporal before they had their meals. He came up to him during their off hours, asking if Levi needed any extra assistance, if there was anything he could possibly do to make life easier for his superior, but each time Levi brushed him off with a dismissive nod or a wave of his hand, and if Eren was unlucky enough to catch him in a bad mood then he used insults instead.
However, this did nothing to deter the younger man. If anything the boy only grinned widely at Levi's responses, bowing his head courteously and saying "Of course Corporal, just let me know."
It was unsettling.
Eren was never disrespectful in his tone of voice, in fact there were times when he was almost more deferential than necessary, but he was persistent, persistent and stubborn and Levi was not so much of a fool that he could not decipher Eren's intentions.
So he did his best to ignore them.
That never stopped Eren from trying though.
After their mission to capture the Female Titan had failed miserably, resulting in the death of his entire squad, Levi had hoped that Eren would pull back then, give up whatever idealistic naivety he had about his corporal and fall into the same miserable line that had been set for all of them, but if anything Eren had become more emboldened, his patience seemingly wearing thin in the wake of grief.
Soon after the incident he had approached Levi when the corporal was alone in his office and healing from the injury he had sustained during the fight. The boy's face had been a mixture of emotions that he'd been so very terrible at hiding. He had fallen to his knees without explanation, his head and shoulders brushing against the floor as he bowed low, his body shaking ever so slightly.
"I'm sorry." Was the first thing Levi had heard, said so softly and muffled that he would have missed it had he not been listening and waiting, and after that the words had come pouring out of Eren, loaded with grief, and shame and something else Levi didn't want to think about. "For what happened. For losing them. For not being able to rip that monster's face apart. If I could go back and do it again, I swear to god I'd win. I'd beat her down until there was nothing left for what she did to them and I'd never be so fucking weak again. I'm sorry, they're gone and you're left with me. I'm so sorry." Levi was admittedly a little startled by Eren's words, especially since they were so wildly ignorant. Still he had recovered quickly, his face remaining a cold mask and his voice low and steady.
"On your feet, Brat." The order had been followed quickly as Eren scrambled to his feet, his eyes looking up to meet Levi's for the first time since he had approached.
"Your apologies are wasted, Jaeger. Death is an almost guaranteed part of this shit-show job. You can't measure your value by comparing it to someone else's. You're standing here and they're not, and that's the only truth we're left with. They were good soldiers, but they knew the risks as well as you or I. Do not waste my time blubbering at my feet like a moron. If you want to honor them and make their deaths mean something, then do your job, Eren."
Levi had immediately realized his mistake.
Upon hearing his name, Eren, who had been listening intently to the corporal's every word, had shuddered. Perhaps it had been small, barely a shiver down the teenager's frame, but Levi had caught every single movement. He had seen the way Eren's eyes had rolled in the back of his head to shut for a brief moment and the way his tongue had darted out quickly to run along his lips. Levi had shifted his gaze down to see the kid's fingers twitch and then clench up, almost as if he was trying to keep them from moving.
And all this from hearing his fucking name.
At that moment Levi had decided that he would no longer be addressing him that way and that this was starting to become a problem.
"I assume we're done here?" It hadn't really been a question.
"Good. Now get the fuck out, Jaeger." Levi had turned around then, dismissing the younger man both verbally and physically but Eren, as persistent as always, had found his voice once again.
"Thank you for saving my life, I know that's how you got hurt."
Levi had spun back around with an annoyed cluck of his tongue.
"No, I got hurt saving your little girlfriend's life and if you want to thank someone, thank her, she's the one who insisted you weren't titan-mulch."
Eren had stepped forward then, coming very close to the line of what was an appropriate distance and when he had spoken his voice had dropped in pitch slightly.
"Mikasa is not my girlfriend, sir, and I've already thanked her. Who I'm thanking now is you, Corporal. Thank you for saving my life, and for risking yourself like that, trust me when I say that I will find a way to make it up to you."
Levi had not been able to convince himself that there was no sort of implication in those words.
"Even so..." And then that same wily grin had crept back onto Eren's face and Levi had suddenly felt like the air was too thick between them.
"Dismissed, soldier." Levi had hissed out quietly and Eren, grin stretching wider,
had turned heel and walked out.
Levi would have never admitted to letting out any sigh of relief.
For a while after that there wasn't much time for any of that nonsense in the chaos that followed as Eren Jaeger proved once again that he could act like a bloodthirsty, rage-driven dumbass and still live on to be a dumbass and rip the Female Titan's head off while he was at it.
What a little shit he was.
Then, all too soon, Corporal Levi once again had found himself leading a squad dedicated to protecting "Humanity's New Weapon" and then there wasn't much of a way to avoid him after that. Still, this time around Levi had went out of his way to evade contact, not even risking catching any of the several glances Eren subtly, and then not so subtly, tried to force on him.
Which, unfortunately, had led to Eren once again finding his way into Levi's office while the corporal was alone.
Levi had sat unmoving at his desk as Eren had walked in and shut the door behind him. It was not uncommon for people to close their doors while discussing an issue but nevertheless the seemingly innocent action had made the corporal slightly uneasy. Still, he had not let the brat see any indication of that on his features.
"You're not going to get on your knees again, are you?"
Levi had kept his tone disinterested as he spoke but the slight flicker in the teen's eyes and twitch of his lips suggested that Eren had most certainly allowed himself to take those words out of context.
"What are you doing here, brat?"
"You saved me again." Eren had said softly, stepping close enough to let his fingers run along the polished wood of Levi's precisely organized desk, and putting himself in a position that had him looming over the corporal. Which the older man had not liked in the slightest.
"Tch," At that point Levi had risen to his feet. "Saved you, huh? You were about to eat Annie Leonhardt, or do you not remember things like that after you're done throwing your little tantrums?"
Eren had ignored the icy quality in Levi's voice as he'd boldly started to circle the desk and make his way over to where Levi was standing. His movements were slow and deliberate and Levi had a strange urge to take a step back as Eren approached him.
"But that's not all there was to it, right Corporal?" Eren had spoken softly but there had not been a trace of doubt in his voice. Levi had hoped that once Eren had come around to face him that he would have stopped moving forward, but the boy slowly had continued to close the distance that separated them while he spoke.
"It was more than just that. You didn't want me to get killed."
By that time there had been barely any space between them, to the point where he could feel Eren's breath ghosting across his face and see the light sheen of nervous sweat that had accumulated on his forehead. He had had to marvel at the sheer audacity of the brat.
The closeness had made the height difference between them all the more obvious, and Levi had to remind himself that he in fact hated the way the boy was towering over him, but still he had not moved to put more distance between them, not yet. It had been almost as if Eren was trying to challenge him, push against his limits, which Levi had thought was a very stupid thing for him to do.
"I don't want any of my men dying unnecessary deaths." Levi had kept his tone steady and disinterested but Eren looked at him as if he didn't believe him in the slightest.
"Of course you don't, sir." The air hung heavy between them as Eren had kept his eyes firmly planted on Levi, giving him a look that was anything but innocent.
"But still, I don't think you wanted me to get killed."
"Tch, what a presumptuous little ass-wipe you are. Is there even anything in that skull of yours? Your ability is an invaluable asset Eren, I'm not going to just let it go to waste."
Eren had let out a chuckle at that, soft and under his breath, but it had teased against Levi's ears, sounding more than a little like an accusation.
"You didn't want me to get killed." Eren had repeated insistently and he had drawn out every word as he spoke, making sure that Levi understood exactly what he was saying, and the corporal couldn't help but follow the movement of a single bead of sweat as it trailed its way down the boy's face. "Let me thank you." Eren had breathed out, licking his lips, his lids lowering slightly over his eyes.
"I told you that's unnecess-" Whatever the corporal had been about to say was caught off and muffled when without warning Eren had reached up as quickly as he could, tangled his fingers in the white material of Levi's cravat and had pulled the shorter man bodily up, hastily slamming his lips against Levi's own in a clumsy kiss.
There had been a single moment where he had - maybe – noticed that Eren's lips were a little bit softer than any man's had the right to be, before he had gripped that hand that had latched onto his cravat and applied a pressure that had Eren gasping against his lips and loosening his hold on Levi. Before Eren had even been able to react Levi had twisted his arm up behind his back and was holding it there in a vice grip and had used his other unoccupied arm to slam Eren's face against the desk, smashing it against Levi's pristine stack of papers and busting the younger man's lips and nose open. Levi had only taken a second to grimace at the blood smeared on the wood before he had leaned down and had hissed into Eren's ear, his voice dancing on the edge of deadly pissed.
"What the fuck was that?"
Eren had only groaned for a moment, trying to regain some of his bearings and then he had let out a choked chuckle, blood spreading further when he coughed at the end.
"I would have thought it was pretty obvious." He had thrown out in a tone that had almost sounded good-natured and Levi had had to gape at the fucking balls this kid was swinging around. He had gritted his teeth and then pressed Eren's face harder into the stained papers.
"Now's not the time to be a smartass, you simple bitch. Think for a fucking second. I know it must be hard, but you can do that, can't you?" Levi's fingers had at some point twisted in Eren's hair and he had started to grind the kid's face into the desk. "Don't you know what happens to soldiers who harass their superior officers?"
Eren had only hesitated for a second before he had nodded his head as best he could and from the side of his face that was visible Levi had seen that grin-that fucking grin-spread across Eren's busted lips.
"But you're not going to report me, are you?" And the amount of certainty that had been in the kid's voice had almost been enough to send Levi into a fury because of course he wasn't going to report him. Why would he risk Eren's potential value all because the kid had stupidly tried to kiss him? Still, he had chosen not to answer Eren's question and instead had leaned in closer to Eren's ear, his voice a low, dangerous whisper.
"Do you have any idea what I could do to you?" Levi had seethed, furious, and then Eren had trembled underneath him, a barely-there moan escaping from him as he had actually tried to lean his head up to rub back against Levi's palm and really Levi hadn't meant it that way at all but of course Eren had taken it there.
"God, no, but please show me." And perhaps the corporal would have taken that as another smartass comment if it hadn't been for the fact that Eren had sounded so completely debauched. Levi had been about to respond, about to tell the brat to control himself, but Eren had cut him off, obviously caught up in what was happening. "You think I don't see you, Corporal? All those looks? You're so busy watching for what I'm doing and trying to avoid my gaze that you haven't even noticed the way your own lingers. You think I don't see it every single time? I can't stand it anymore." And without warning Eren had pushed his hips back and against the front of Levi's groin and Levi had jerked away immediately, but not quickly enough.
"Hey Corporal...you're hard."
Without a single thought Levi had raised his fist and slammed it down on the back of Eren's head hard enough to knock him out before he had detached himself from the slumped over boy and walked out of his own office.
The next day Eren's face had completely healed and Levi's desk was spotless.
They continued on like nothing had happened. Except for the fact that anytime Levi had happened to catch the teen's eyes he was met with a very pleased and very knowing look, and each time Levi had wanted to throttle the little bastard, but other than that there had been no more interactions, and Levi had to wonder if maybe Eren had in fact been a little intimidated by Levi and had decided to back off.
Of course this had been a short-lived hope when it became very apparent that Erenjust hadn't reached his breaking point yet.
And eventually he definitely did.
They had been out in the field doing some routine, hands-on training with some new recruits and Levi had been pulled into a demonstration with a 6-meter class titan that they had scouted in the area.
The newer recruits and the rest of his squad had held back and merely watched as he had made quick work of dispatching the titan.
As the giant had clumsily swung his palm down to swat at Levi, the corporal had easily dodged, using his 3D maneuver gear to attach onto the back of the titan's wrist as he used the upward force of the beast's missed strike to propel himself into the air. He had gracefully spun once he was above the titan with the precision of years of practice and undeniable raw talent, before he had shot downward to deliver a clean, finishing slice to the back of titan's nape. The beast had twitched for a moment and then fallen and Levi had ridden him down to the ground, only jumping off once the giant's face had hit the dirt.
Levi had always been faster than most and his small stature only aided his agility, which was why he had never felt particularly bothered by being shorter than others and besides, it didn't matter how tall you were when they always ended up below your feet anyway.
There had been some applause from the recruits as he had stepped away from the already decomposing corpse and had begun to clean his blades. He had let his eyes lift up to scan across their faces for a brief moment and that's when Levi had seen him.
The rest of the faces that had observed him were a pretty even mixture of admiration, envy and no small amount of intimidation but standing off to the back behind the others, his fist clenched at his sides, Eren-fucking-Jaeger had looked like he was about to cum in his pants.
Before this the boy had been somewhat careful in his looking, he had at least tried to make sure that no one else saw, but at that moment, discretion had seemed to be the furthest thing from Eren's mind. Levi had been sure that if the boy hadn't been standing behind everyone they all would have seen Eren's openly lewd expression and the way that it was planted unwaveringly on his corporal.
The front of the kid's pants had been noticeably tented and his mouth had fallen open in a pant as he had stared at Levi like he was on the verge of losing any form of control he had and jumping the man. When he had noticed that Levi was staring back at him, Eren had allowed a small, cat-like smile to graze his lips before he had reached down very deliberately and adjusted himself.
Levi had swallowed heavily at the sight, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry before he had excused himself and gotten as far away from the titan shifter as he could.
It hadn't been until he was back in his own quarters, safe from any prying eyes, that he had allowed himself to think about the way Eren had looked at him, and with a small hiss of annoyance he had reached a thumb down to trace along the bulge that had formed in his pants. However, that was as far as he had allowed it to go before he had let out a stabilizing sigh and begun to shed his clothes for a very needed and very cold shower.
And all of that, all the looks, the words and the dancing around each other was what had brought him to where he was now, sitting alone in the dark in his private chambers, unable to sleep and listening to the unfamiliar yet recognizeable sound of something scraping along the inside of his doorknob.
He stared at his door for a few hesitant moments, watching the brass knob jiggle slightly as someone fiddled with it from the other side, before he resolutely rose to his feet and walked over to it. In one quick motion he turned the lock and flung the door open, latching his hand onto the person that was crouched over on the other side and roughly dragging them inside before he shut the door and locked it once more.
He slammed Eren up against a wall before the boy even had a chance to try to make up an explanation, the pin he had been using to try to pick the lock falling forgotten from his hand. Levi paused for a moment and took in Eren's appearance.
Despite the darkness of the room he could see the teenager was clad in his sleeping attire, the garments wrinkled and disheveled from what must have been a lot of tossing and turning. Eren was breathing heavily, his hair sticking up in several places and his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. The kid was a mess, obviously having had a rough night, but Levi couldn't help but notice the way he smelled like soap.
"Were you actually trying to break into my room, you fuck?" Levi's voice was hushed when he spoke but he did not try to hide the anger that had seeped into his tone. "Do you have a death wish, Jaeger?"
Eren didn't respond, he just let his eyes travel up and down Levi's still uniform-clad form as the corporal held him restrained against the wall. Levi pushed away from him then, suddenly very uncomfortable with the way Eren was looking at him. He turned his back on the boy and stepped towards the oil lamp that was sitting beside his bed. Running a hand through his hair in exasperation as he lit it and light flooded into the room.
"This needs to stop now." Levi said as he turned back around to face Eren who was still slumped against the wall, watching Levi's every movement. Eren, who had never been very good at playing innocent to begin with, cocked his head to the side in mock confusion.
"Don't fuck with me, brat. I know there's only dust between your ears but you know exactly what I'm talking about." Levi crossed the few steps separating them and slammed his palm against the wall by Eren's head. "It needs to stop. All the looks and all the offers and what happened on the field today, you need to end it and end it now. I don't care what you have to work out inside yourself to make that happen but you're not doing this anymore. I'm finished playing this game with you."
As Levi said those last words Eren nodded his head feverishly, his hand reaching up to trace one finger along the inside of the arm Levi had propped up against the wall. The corporal's other hand, which had been resting idly at his side until that moment, darted up to catch's Eren's fingers in a punishing grip that had the younger man letting out a pained, gasping chuckle.
"I'm finished playing too, Corporal." Eren breathed, relaxing into Levi's hold even as the man tightened his grip even further. "I'm sick of all the damn looks myself. I have no interest in playing anymore games." Eren was pinning Levi with such an overtly sexual look that the corporal was momentarily rooted in place, caught in their twisted version of a handhold, and Eren didn't waste the opportunity in Levi's momentary frozen silence.
"You looked incredible out there today, you know? Just so fucking...God, I don't even know, perfect, I guess? The way you slaughtered that animal, ended his miserable fucking existence in an instant. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Corporal, every single time you do it." Eren's head had fallen forward until it was brushing Levi's shoulder in front of him, and still Levi didn't move, transfixed by the way Eren's every word was coated in pure, unadulterated lust. "You know, I like you best when you're covered in their blood, you look like you were fucking made for it. Made for killing them and made for me."
And that's when Levi let go of Eren's hand and took a giant step back, because that was too close, too personal, and sex alone was hard enough to deal with.
"Shit, you've got it awfully twisted up inside, don't you? Listen Jaeger, whatever you think this is, you're severely mistaken. Jerk off one of your buddies or jerk off into your sock but get over this juvenile little obsession because I am not interested."
Levi said those words so coldly, working in no little amount of cruelty, that had it been any other person that would have been enough, this would have ended in its tracks, but Eren Jaeger wasn't anything if he wasn't stubborn.
"Liar." The defiance in Eren's tone was so pungent that Levi for a second was caught between being impressed and wanting to kick the kid's fucking teeth in. In the end he chose to stay still, his eyes burning holes into Eren. When he spoke it was very slowly. "Did you just call me a liar?"
"With all due respect, yes sir, I did. You are a liar. You feel obligated to lie, right? I get it, okay? You think because of your position and the things you have to do that you need to push away from this, put some kind of an end to it. Well, you can say whatever you feel is right and you can look as disinterested as you want, no one needs to know a damn thing. But you don't need to lie to me, your body speaks the truth loud enough, if you really don't want me then why am I still standing here? Surely you could have removed me by now."
Levi didn't have an answer for him because he didn't know one himself. He didn't know why he didn't just kick the kid out, end this ridiculous charade, but he couldn't bring himself to make that step. Eren had stepped so far out of line, had pushed way passed the acceptable boundaries with his arrogant and presumptuous little speech, but still Levi did not move. Something about the frustration and want hidden in Eren's voice had turned his feet to lead.
This kid, this fucking kid.
"You're just a child, a goddamn baby." Levi replied, and he didn't like the way it sounded like he was trying to talk himself out of something just as much as he was Eren.
The laugh younger man barked out at that moment was abrupt and so full of bitterness that it caught Levi off-guard. "So, I'm old enough to kill for you. I'm old enough to die for you, but when I want to put my hands on you I'm suddenly a child? Does that make any kind of sense to you?"
And yes it did, of course it did, this was a completely different situation, it would never be close to the same thing, but every answer Levi came up with in his head sounded feeble and like nothing more than an excuse.
"You want to touch me?" And Levi didn't know why he asked, because the answer was obvious, but the words came ghosting out of his mouth and he was a little bit relieved when they at least came out sounding somewhat detached and condescending, but Eren, as always, was unfazed.
"Yes." Eren hissed between his teeth, honesty flowing out of him unabashedly. "You have no idea, Corporal, you really don't. I want to touch every part of you I can. You're so uptight, so fucking polished all the time, I want to see you dirty, see what you look like when you let go for one goddamn second and I want it to be because of me. God please, please, let me free you. Let me touch you."
It was insulting, it really was, to hear a subordinate speak so blatantly about his character, because this kid was so wet behind the ears that it was ridiculous and he didn't know a single thing about Levi and what he thought, but Eren kept looking at him anyway, insisting unwaveringly that he did. And Levi could feel it, feel Eren's words tightening themselves around his body, forcing him to react and Levi realized with a small amount of panic that he had never felt this close to caving before and his mind was screaming at him to regain control even as he felt his cock twitch in his pants.
"I'm not touching you." Levi insisted, trying to recover some of his footing even as he realized that they had already started hurdling towards something that couldn't be reversed.
"You don't have to." And then Eren was sinking slowly to his knees as Levi followed him down with his eyes. "Just let me." On hands and knees, Eren crawled the rest of the distance separating him and Levi, his eyes focused upwards and connected with the corporal's own, and Levi would never admit to how erotic the boy looked in that particular moment.
When Eren stopped in front of him he only hesitated for a moment before he reached his noticeably shaking hands, whether from nervous or anticipation Levi didn't know, up and wrapped them full around Levi's calves, resting over the leather of the corporal's boots. They didn't stay idle there as Eren began to run them upwards, his grip firm as his hands made their way past Levi's knees and up the back of his thighs before curving around to the front, stopping at the buckles that held his three-dimensional maneuver gear in place. When Eren started to work the first buckle open on his right leg, Levi's fingers shot down to grip Eren's hair forcefully, though he neither moved the kid toward or away from him, just held him there in place and the desperate little groan Eren made at the contact was enough to make his fingers clench up further.
"What the hell are you doing?" Levi questioned, eyes narrowed even as the bulge began to form in his pants.
"You know what I'm doing." Was all Eren said before his fingers were unhooking the second buckle and deftly moving to the ones on his left leg, and in mere moments the straps were loosened on Levi's body, and though he'd removed the gear countless times himself, it had never felt so freeing. Levi's breath caught in his throat as Eren reverently reached up further to trace his fingers along the waistband of Levi's pants, fiddling with the belt there. Eren did not look to Levi for permission because he knew that he would not receive any as he took a stabilizing gulp of air and undid the buckle, quickly followed by the three buttons below.
"Jaeger-" The words died in his throat as Eren wasted no time and hooked his fingers in Levi's pants and slid them down over his ass and halfway down his thighs, and this was way too far, way too unfixable but still Levi could not move, transfixed by what Eren was daring to do. Eren stared at the tent in Levi's underwear for a moment, a dazed grin spreading across his lips before he leaned forward and buried his face in Levi's crotch.
"Shit, shit, Jaeger stop." But Eren only inhaled deeply, letting out a pleased hum as he nuzzled his cheek against Levi's clothed and very attentive erection.
"I don't think I can anymore, Corporal. If you want me to stop, you're going to have to make me." Eren's voice was hoarse and filled with such an overwhelming amount of need that against every ounce of judgment Levi had, he didn't try to push Eren away. Taking this as a good sign, Eren didn't waste a second as he gripped Levi's underwear and slowly pulled it down over his straining erection. When Levi's cock was exposed to the cold air, bobbing up to brush against his shirt, both he and Eren let out an audible hiss, Levi, because it had been years since he was exposed like this to anyone and Eren at the mere sight of what was in front of him.
"I-fuck- I don't even...I knew you'd be like this." Eren reached a hand down then and pressed against the very obvious bulge in his own pajama bottoms, letting out a choked moan that went right into Levi's very keen ears and straight down to his cock. When it twitched mere inches from Eren's face the boy gave out a delighted chuckle and leaned forward to press his nose into the trimmed hair at the base of Levi's cock. "Fucking perfect, like everything else on you. Just like I pictured. Clean and neat and so fucking beautiful and mine." And Levi was about to retort, was about to tell the kid to watch his fucking mouth, but then that mouth was closing around the head of his cock and fuck if Levi hadn't almost forgotten how that felt. He forced back the sound that wanted to scratch its way out of his throat.
Eren's inexperience became pretty obvious fairly quickly, with the way he slobbered and struggled for pace and choked when he pushed too far but what he lacked in knowledge he made up for in sheer enthusiasm and Levi found himself not caring one bit about the kid's shortcomings. Eren was like an animal. Completely caught up in what he was doing, oblivious to everything around him except for Levi and his body. His hands were everywhere. Running up over Levi's shirt, hooking in his cravat and giving it a light tug, before curving under his uniform jacket, tracing the straps there. Eren's wandering hands never stayed anywhere for long, they ran over Levi's ass, squeezing, kneading, before blunt nails were scraping down the back of his thighs. There was no dexterity, no skill, Eren just seemed to want to feel every part of Levi that he could, while he could. He gulped on Levi's cock, trying to force as much of it into his mouth and down his throat as he could, when he coughed and sputtered, he would pull back for a second and then try once more, saliva dripping unnoticed out the sides of his mouth. While Levi did everything he could to keep his moans at bay, forcing himself to remain quiet and still during the onslaught, Eren on the other hand was anything but silent, making little whimpers and long drawn out moans, all muffled around the cock in his mouth, and Levi could swear he'd never seen anybody so undone.
Eren pulled off the head of Levi's cock with an audible plop as he opened his mouth wide to slide one long swipe of his tongue down the length of Levi's dick, running it along the base, before grazing his teeth over the hair there. Eren reached his hand up, tracing his fingers over the length before grasping it in his hand and firmly starting to pump. He rested his forehead against Levi's stomach, his breath coming out ragged and heavy and words began to fall like rain from his mouth as he let his tongue dance out through breaths to play with the skin that lay beneath him. "I've dreamt about this almost every night for months now. You haunt me, you know that? You just won't leave me alone. When I close my eyes, there's blood and screams and fear and rage and you standing in the middle of it all. And everything else feels like hell, just a reminder of the things I can't go back and change, except for you. You're there, untouched by it all, and there's always me, on my knees in front of you, just like this. And you tower so far above me that I don't know if I'll ever catch up, Corporal. That's why I don't care if you never touch me, you get that right? Having you here like this, having my mouth, my hands on you, worshipping you for what you are and what you do to me...it's like destroying titans and I've never known a purer form of happiness."
Maybe it was the way Eren's voice sounded absolutely wrecked in that confession or maybe it was the naked honesty in those words but suddenly a moan was ripping itself unbidden from Levi's throat, low and deep, and Eren's own mouth fell open into a pant at the sound of it, letting out a matching groan in response before he was pulling back and flicking his tongue into the slit of Levi's cockhead, his hand jerking on Levi's flesh feverishly.
The eagerness with which Eren dipped his tongue into Levi's slit was almost too much, was almost boarding on painful, but it was so earnest, so totally dedicated that all it took was one look down into the sea-green eyes that were staring straight up into his own for Levi's resolve to finally snap.
"Get up, brat." Eren jerked back at the order, obviously not expecting it. He hesitated for a moment, looking up at Levi, asking silently if he had done something wrong. When Levi merely gave him a pointed look Eren slowly rose to his feet, taking a reluctant step back as he stood up straight and stared at his corporal.
"Strip." There was no room for argument in Levi's voice but a blush spread quickly across the boy's cheeks anyway and he faltered for a moment. Levi found it both intriguing and slightly amusing that Eren could be so blunt with his intentions to bring Levi pleasure but so completely lost when it came to anything having to do with his own body. "Where's that haughty attitude, Jaeger? Don't tell me you're shy?" Levi drawled and Eren's eyes narrowed at the jab as he hooked his thumbs in the hem of his pajama pants and without any sort of flourish pulled them all the way down, followed immediately after by his nightshirt. Eren wore no undergarments underneath so in an instant he was completely bared to the corporal's eyes and Levi could tell that he was fighting the urge to cover himself as he stood stark still and held his fists at his sides. Levi let him stand there in his awkwardness for a while as he let his eyes travel up and down Eren's prone form. The kid's physique was far less defined than his own but Eren was younger, greener, and his body showed promise. He was lanky and far too skinny but there was still muscle to be found and give the kid a few years and he'd fill out quite nicely. The most fascinating thing about him though was that his body was unblemished. Levi had seen the kid take wounds that would kill a normal person, he'd even beaten the boy bloody himself, but Eren was completely flawless. In a world so fucking filthy and disgusting, covered in nothing but ugly scars, Eren was untainted. And Levi felt a jolt deep in his gut at the knowledge that he could break and mold that skin to his own design as many times as he wanted and it would always revert back,fresh and new, clean and untouched. Just a smooth stretch of unmarked skin and at the center of it all a jutting, dripping cock, which was currently so hard it was straining against the kid's belly, twitching under Levi's gaze and such a deep angry red that it must have been near painful by this point.
"Turn around." Levi said curtly, holding back a pleased smile as Eren swallowed noticeably and did what he was told. "Now Jaeger, I want you to do as I tell you." Levi knew there would be no turning back now. "I want you to touch the floor. Do not bend your knees."
Levi said it like he was giving out an everyday command but Eren's reaction was instantaneous. His entire backside flushed a deep shade of red, running angrily up the back of his neck and disappearing into his hair.
"I...uh...sir...what?" Eren sputtered, his body fidgeting nervously as he looked back over his shoulder at Levi, disbelief written so clearly in his wide eyes that Levi couldn't help but smirk, despite the fact that he was standing there with his pants around his thighs and his dick out, because this was proving to be far more entertaining than he had originally thought.
"Did I stutter, dimwit? What, too much of a blushing virgin to finish what you started? Are you a man who doesn't own up to the consequences of his actions? Well, let me make it easy for you. I don't give a single fuck what you're thinking about. Touch. The. Floor. And in case you need to hear it out loud, that's an order."
Eren only lingered for a moment before he shifted his legs apart slightly and slowly began to bend towards the floor, his fingers stretching downward and knees unbending, just like he had been told. Levi sucked in a breath through his teeth when Eren's fingers brushed against the ground and he was temporarily at a loss for what to say as he took in the display in front of him. Eren refused to look at him, for once, his head turned to the side, staring at who knows what. His legs trembled slightly from what Levi could only guess was embarrassment but the corporal only found the sight in front of him utterly enticing. Eren's erection and balls hung heavy between his legs, pressed flush against each other and the boy's stomach, and despite Eren's reserve he was still rock hard and Levi could just make out a single glistening bead of precum at the tip of the boy's cock, threatening to drip down onto the floor. His ass was the northern most point, sticking straight up into the air, round and perky, and Levi's fingers twitched with the sudden urge to squeeze. Eren's whole backside was red from the flush that covered him and due to his legs being slightly spread Levi could just make out the ring of muscle hidden between Eren's ass cheeks.
"Reach your hand back." Levi's voice was more strained than he intended it to be, but when Eren reached a shaky hand back, he couldn't bring himself to care. "Now, run your fingers along your crack." Eren made a sound halfway between a whimper and an indignant snort, and Levi had to hold back a snicker. The corporal has always been reserved with his emotions but that didn't mean he was shy. "I'm waiting, brat."
Eren let out a deep sigh before he let his fingers brush against his tailbone and then trail downward, dipping between his cheeks and grazing over his hole, and despite himself, Eren let out a small little moan at the contact.
"Press a little firmer, Jaeger, don't tell me you never touch yourself." Levi barked, his eyes boring holes into Eren, who had his face buried in the side of his leg. However, when he heard Levi begin to shuffle out of his boots and his pants, Eren's eyes darted between his legs to watch. His pupils dilated at the site of more of Levi's pale, toned legs being exposed to him and Levi saw his tongue dart out to wet his lips as he groaned lewdly at the site. Without further instruction, Eren's touch on his own ass became more sure. He let his fingers press into the skin just below his balls, before making a long stroke back up toward his hole, pressing experimentally to feel the give of the muscles there.
And suddenly Levi couldn't just want to watch anymore, couldn't handle holding back. He was a man of action after all.
With the lower half of his uniform completely removed and the straps of his gear dangling loosely at his sides, Corporal Levi crossed the couple feet separating him and the titan shifter and resolutely dropped to his own knees. Eren could only gape in shock before letting out a startled moan of unexpected pleasure when Levi swatted his hand away and spread Eren's ass cheeks himself. Levi just stared at the puckered ring for a moment, watching it twitch under his gaze, urges boiling up inside of him like a fight reflex.
"You showered earlier, yes?"
Eren barely had a second to mumble out a confused "Yes" before Levi buried his face between Eren's cheeks and let his tongue give a long swipe over the area the boys fingers had been caressing moments before. The sound Eren made was caught somewhere between a keening cry and a gasp of pure shock and that alone made it very much worth doing something Levi had never even given a thought. He pushed his tongue passed the ring, fighting the resistance of the muscles there, stroking Eren from inside, and Eren began to shake his head back and forth as his knees buckled. If it hadn't been for Levi's hands on his hips, holding him firmly in place, he surely would have toppled face-first into the ground.
"You're-hahh fuck- you're touching me?" Eren sounded so completely overwhelmed that Levi couldn't help but smirk despite his face being buried in the brat's ass.
"Obviously." Levi's tone was filled with rare amusement and Eren let out a whine when the older man leaned back for a moment and brought his hand down hard to leave a resolute smack on Eren's right butt cheek, followed instantly by a firm squeeze the corporal hadn't realized had been so hard to hold back.
"I don't...It's just, why are you?... of course I know you're touching me. Are you fucking kidding? I just don't understand why."
Levi stared at Eren, a little astonished that the kid really did seem to be deeply confused. "All those dreams you were babbling like a bitch in heat about and you've never once dreamt of me touching you back? Say Jaeger, are you unclear of how sex works?"
Eren glowered at his corporal despite the awkward position. "Of course I know how it works! I'm not that young. And yeah, I've dreamt about it, I've dreamt about you in every way. I just never thought it would happen. It never made any sense, you know? I just wanted to convince you to let me please you, let me touch you, getting you to touch me back wasn't ever really put into the plan."
Levi thought for a moment, rolling over the options of things he could say in return, before his jaw tightened and his eyes hardened in decision. He stood up swiftly, reaching over to grip Eren's hair and drag him upward as well. The boy made a slight gasp of pain and surprise as he was forced upright and turned toward Levi's modest soldier's bed. Levi landed another resounding whack on Eren's butt, growling out "Forward.", before pulling the brat by his hair toward the bed. He hauled the kid forward until the front of his knees hit the mattress and Eren was forced to crawled up onto it. Levi followed up after him, leaning over Eren, his chest pressed against Eren's back. The older man pulled back on the thick hair in his grip, forcing Eren's neck to arch back and the boy's eyes to meet with his own.
"You've been driving me fucking insane, Jaeger. I don't think you've truly realized. You're unruly, undisciplined and worst of all, arrogant. You're this pitiful, savage beast and little more than a whining child." Levi's voice held annoyance, ice even, but in between his words he let his teeth scrape lightly against Eren's exposed neck. "But you wiggle your ass when you walk away from me, and you lick your lips when you stare. You draw out 'sir' like you're saying a fucking prayer and you push me, brat." Levi's free hand snaked under Eren's body to grasp the younger man's straining erection. Eren choked back a cry and his eyes shut tightly as Levi pressed his thumb into the dripping slit before swirling it around the head of his cock, spreading the clear liquid. "You push and push and you make your shitty, little advances impossible to ignore. So, I'm going to fuck you, Jaeger. I'm going to fuck you hard, into this bed, until you shut that stupid mouth of yours. That's really what you crave, isn't it? All the bullshit aside of wanting to please me and whatnot, that's at the core of what makes you touch you're greedy little prick at night, right? I'm going to spread you wide and make you cum all over yourself, and that's exactly what you want. And that's fine because that's what I want too. I'm going to tame you. Break you down with my cock and remind you with every thrust that you will, and always will, follow my orders." And for once Eren was silent, his eyes had fallen wide open and he was staring at Levi. His face was such a wild mix of emotion that Levi had to wonder for a split second if the boy was actually scared, but then Eren began to nod slowly and Levi saw the edge of a familiar, feral grin tugging at his lips.
Levi felt a fire light in his gut as he pushed Eren forward, knocking the younger's arms out from under him so that his face was planted against the mattress and his ass was once more forced into the air. Levi let go of the grip he had on Eren's hair finally and shoved his fingers without warning into the kid's mouth. Eren, acting on instinct, groaned around the digits, running his tongue enthusiastically over every inch of Levi's skin that he could, dipping it between Levi's appendages and sealing his lips around the fingers so that he could suck on them. With a soft curse Levi pulled his hand away from Eren's mouth, letting his nails trail down the kid's spine before he was dipping between Eren's ass crack and rubbing against his entrance. Eren tensed slightly at the contact and turned his head to the side so that he could look back and watch what Levi was doing and though he'd never admit it, Levi found the poorly hidden nervousness on Eren's face to be endearing in a way.
"Relax." The command came out far softer than he'd meant it to, but Eren seemed to appreciate it and he let out shuddering breath and closed his eyes, forcing his body to calm down.
Levi dipped a single finger in, pushing it forward and past the first barrier of resistance and he didn't stop until it was deep in Eren's inexperienced yet willing ass. Eren shuddered underneath him, his eyes closing tighter still and Levi had to marvel at just how fucking tighthe was, but of course he was, Eren was a virgin after all, that much was obvious. Still though, there was a drunken voice in the back of Levi's head that insisted that Eren would always be this tight and that intoxicating thought shot straight through his groin. He wiggled his finger inside of Eren, crooking it to scrape along the kid's internal walls, willing them to loosen for him. Levi felt a patch of skin a different texture from the rest of Eren's burning insides and he brushed his finger over it in a small circle for a moment. Eren's hips twitched slightly when he touched it and one green eye cracked open to look at Levi in curiosity, but the corporal did not touch it again and Eren let out a sudden whimper when Levi allowed a second finger to join the first.
Eren tensed around the intrusion, turning his face into the covers and burying it there, willing himself to keep quiet. Levi merely clucked his tongue and the hand that had been idle on Eren's dick began to move, working the heated flesh up and down and occasionally reaching down to cup his balls. Levi could see Eren's shoulders moving up and down from his conscious breathing efforts and he was pleased when he felt Eren's walls begin to relax around his digits. He scissored his fingers, searching for that same spot again and when he found it and Eren let out a low moan in the back of his throat, Levi began to prod and rub those nerves in earnest. It didn't take long to reduce the kid to a sobbing mess beneath him, jutting his hips back on Levi's fingers, trying to fuck himself on them, thoughts of discomfort gone. And it was so naughty, so damn carnal that Levi was ready to shove in another finger when Eren began to shake his head, pleading in a desperate, wrecked voice,
"Don't, please, no more. Just you. I want to feel you. I don't care if you rip me apart in the process. I'll be fine. You said you'd fuck me, right? Tame me, were you words? Well do it, Corporal, and show me that you're a man of your word."
And it was wrong to do it this quickly, especially since it was the kid's first time, but Eren was just asking for it, begging for it even. Eren just never fucking thought about anything. He was just a shaking heap of wants and needs and the stubbornness to go after those things and if Levi hadn't already reached his breaking point, he was suddenly thrown off the edge then.
With the speed he exhibited on the battlefield, in an instant he had Eren flipped onto his back and was reaching back into his nightstand to fish out the bottle of salve all soldiers were issued. He unscrewed the cap and was about to dip his fingers in but Eren beat him to it, covering his own hand in the substance and reaching down to grip Levi's dick, coating it and stroking it at the same time. Levi let out a small moan before he slapped Eren's hand away and forced the kid's knees up against his chest. Levi positioned himself over Eren, his cock rubbing tantalizingly against the boy's entrance, causing them both to shudder in anticipation.
"There's no going back now." Levi warned, his hips rocking slightly forward, and Eren let out a shaky little laugh.
"I think we passed that line a while back ago." Eren joked and then he was saying nothing, his mouth open in a silent 'O' as Levi pushed his hips forward and breached him.
The first thing Levi noticed was the sheer heat of Eren. He was only halfway in and the kid was a furnace on the inside, his titan abilities causing him to have a higher body temperature than most. The second thing Levi noticed was that the kid had definitely not been loosened up enough. Even with the preparation and the slickness of the salve, Eren's body held Levi in a vice grip. The boy's fingers were clenched on Levi's shoulders gripping at the fabric of his shirt, digging at the flesh underneath and his eyes were clenched so tightly that Eren would probably see spots when he opened them again. The boy was so tightened up that it had them both gasping in discomfort.
"Shit, you've got to loosen up, kid. You're squeezing my fucking dick off." Levi groaned as Eren struggled to breathe. "I know it hurts, alright? But you have to relax for me, Eren."
And Levi hadn't said his name in months, not after the way the younger man had reacted to it, so Eren's eyes shot open immediately at the sound of it and despite the pain the brat was obviously in, he let out a loud moan of satisfaction, hooked his legs on Levi's hips and drug the corporal forward, forcing Levi the rest of the way in and his balls to smack against the kid's ass.
"Fuck." Levi cursed as Eren choked on the scream that threatened to rip itself from his lips and Levi was about to pull back, pullout, but Eren held him firmly in place with his legs, his voice cracked but determined.
"Don't. Please. Let me feel it. I want it like this, ok? It'll heal, everything always fucking does, and I won't feel it anymore. But I'll have the memory of this moment, this pain, reminding me that I'm alive just like you."
Eren sounded so sure, despite the shakiness of his voice that Levi held still, only sighing in disapproval as he watched Eren's face and waited for him to loosen.
After a moment, probably not long enough, Eren gave a little experimental grind of his hips, and Levi had to bite back a groan and the feel of it. Encouraged by the sound that still managed to spill through the corporal's lips, Eren winced slightly and moved again. Levi's hands shot to the kid's hips, holding him down and in place. And Eren whined in frustration.
"Weren't you going to fuck me hard?" And that was typical Eren, always trying to push to get his way.
"Don't mistake my actions, Eren, I was only getting some leverage." And with that Levi pulled back and jutted his hips sharply forward, pushing all the way back in one swift glide. Eren's reaction was violently gorgeous as his back arched and he let out a mixed howl of pained shock and approval, and Levi found himself repeating the action just to see it again. Levi moved his hands from Eren's hips to the back of the boys thighs so that he could push the boys legs back against his chest and out as Levi began to fuck him.
And it was good. Fucking great, really. Better than it should have been, and when Levi found that spot inside Eren once more he knew that this wouldn't be lasting long for either one of them. Eren was too young and for Levi it had been too long and never as hot. He held Eren open wide as he pistoned his hips in and out of him with a force that had his small bed rocking and slamming against the wall, and Levi knew with no small amount of clarity that Eren had somehow managed to get so far up under his skin that Levi wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to dig him back out. When words began to spill from Levi's lips, they came unbidden, lost in between Eren's cries.
"You shit. You fuck. How dare you do this. Distract me this way. How dare you make me unable to ignore you? You're an idiot, a stupid, impulsive moron, and tight, God, you're tight, and fucking mine, Eren." And he definitely hadn't meant to say it, hadn't even meant to imply it, but it was said so insistently that there was no taking it back now, so Levi just said it again and again and Eren nodded reverently underneath him, so far gone in his pleasure that all he could say was, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
It was over quickly for Eren.
All it took was Levi reaching between his legs and giving his leaking cock a few tugs as the corporal fucked him hard into the mattress and Eren was cumming in long white streaks, his body convulsing violently, and in the blind haze of his passion he cried out "Levi!" into his superior's shoulder, all sense of wasted formality gone.
And Levi couldn't bring himself to be angry, not with the way heat plummeted in his groin at the sound and the way Eren tightened impossibly around him. So instead he just twisted his hand around the nape of Eren's neck and drug the kid forward it to their first kiss of the night, his tongue gliding along the seam of Eren's slackened mouth and his teeth clamping down on Eren's bottom lip as his balls tightened up and he was flung over the edge as well, rutting helplessly forward and cumming hard into the pliant body beneath him.
In the moments that followed, there was only silence.
Levi pulled out of Eren with a hiss, watching as his cum dribbled out after him, marveling dazedly at how he could find such a disgusting sight so intriguing. With a lingering glance, he stood up and walked over to his personal wash-basin, grabbing a forgotten washcloth there and cleaning the already drying sperm from his body before tossing the towel nonchalantly onto Eren's stomach.
Eren looked at him for a moment, still laying in his prone position, before grabbing the towel and beginning to clean himself off as well. Only then did Levi remove the rest of his own clothing, undoing the remainder of his gear, loosening his cravat and removing his shirt. Eren's eyes watched him as always, drinking in the site of him as he revealed his chest to the boy. Levi was well aware of his own scars, the deep jagged slashes from accidents and sacrifices made on the battlefield and the crisscrossing indentions that his own gear left permanently on his skin, but Eren's eyes held such an expression of awe and envy that Levi had to wonder if Eren thought his skin was perfect.
Levi walked slowly back over to his bed, sat down next to where Eren was still laying and leaned back with a sigh, his back resting against the wall. He stiffened slightly but did not move when Eren shifted and crawled up next to him, a look of stubbornness in his eyes as Levi watched him.
"I'm not going anywhere." The boy insisted, the double meaning clear in his tone as he leaned his head down to rest on Levi's chest, his arm clasping possessively onto the older man's waist. Levi said nothing, just leaned back and blew out the lamp on his bedside table, feeling comfort in the darkness that washed over them, shielding them.
"I know." Levi muttered, bringing his own arm up around Eren's shoulder, pulling the kid closer, allowing himself to relax, because after all, he could always just kick Eren out in the morning.
And as Eren settled against him, his body heat a constant, persistent reminder of his presence, Levi felt his eyes drift closed without a fight, finding comfort in the rare luxury of temporarily forgetting who he was.