Muggle Movies 2: The Chamber

Part One: I'd Rather See James Bond

Professor Albus Dumbledore sat in his large oval office going through some old essays and chuckling to himself. He was so pleased with the results of his first field trip to a Muggle film that he was very keen to do it again. With the release of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" to theaters in a matter of days, he would have the opportunity to strengthen house relations once again. Professors McGonagall and Snape enter the office.

DUMBLEDORE: Ah, Severus and Minerva. Do have a seat.

McGONAGALL: (Sitting) Albus, what are you planning?

SNAPE: (grumpily) I hope it's not another bloody field trip. I was so exhausted after taking so many points away in such a short period of time.

DUMBLEDORE: (chuckling) Serverus, I'm sure you can withstand it, it is for the greater good of the school, after all. The second installment of J.K. Rowling's fine work is hitting theaters on Friday. I want us to chaperon the students once again.

McGONAGALL: (glaring at Severus and then looking at Dumbledore) I, for one, think that is a wonderful idea.

SNAPE: (muttering) Headmaster's Pet.

McGONAGALL: Watch your step, Severus, you sound like Malfoy.

DUMBLEDORE: I would like to invite Misters Potter, Weasley and Malfoy along with Miss Granger, Miss Weasley and Miss Parkinson.

McGONAGALL: Why Miss Weasley?

DUMBLEDORE: (smiling) Because she's in this film and it seems only fair.

SNAPE: Well, why Miss Parkinson?

DUMBLEDORE: We need more than one Slytherin for it to be at least a little equal, don't you think?

Both McGonagall and Snape nod in agreement.

DUMBLEDORE: I'd appreciate it if you'd alert your students and we'll meet in the Great Hall Friday morning after the first class. We'll grab a portkey to London and try to get the noon o'clock show.

McGONAGALL: (carefully) I don't think the expression noon o'clock is correct, Albus.

DUMBLEDORE: (has gone temporarily deaf and is digging around his desk for some lemon drops.)

The five fifth years and one fourth year trudged into the Great Hall in apprehension. Malfoy was worried about having to do some sort of project with the Wonder Trio; the Wonder Trio were worried about getting detention for getting food from the kitchens the previous night. Pansy was blissfully oblivious, and Ginny was merely curious.

RON: Hermione, didn't I read in that Muggle magazine last week of yours that the new Harry Potter film is coming out soon? Maybe that's what this is about.

DRACO: (scoffs) Why would there be a meeting concerning THAT?

HERMIONE: I think that's entirely possible, Ron. (squeal) I hope it is! I'm dying to see it!

PANSY: (giggles slightly) More Sean Biggerstaff!

HERMIONE: WOOOOO! (high fives Pansy)

GINNY: Ah…what?

HERMIONE: I'll explain later, Gin. Borrow the books from Ron if you want more information.

RON: (grinning widely) The books are bloody brilliant. So accurate.

HARRY: (bitterly) Yes. But I'm not sure I want to see this new edition.

DRACO: Why ever not? Since when does famous Harry Potter not want to be a part of his own fan club?

They reached the Great Hall and went inside. Professors Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore are standing across the room, waiting.

DUMBLEDORE: (smiling) We have quite a surprise for all of you.

DRACO: (muttering) Oh, good Lord.

HARRY: (elbows Draco) Shut up, Malfoy.

DRACO: (sneers) Shut up, Potter.

HERMIONE: Oh PLEASE don't start this again!

SNAPE: (clearing throat) Points, boys, points.

Harry and Draco move away from each other, knowing full well that Snape could easily take fifty billion points from both houses in a matter of minutes.

RON: (excited and bouncing up and down) Are we going to see The Chamber of Secrets, Professor?

McGONAGALL: Yes, Weasley, we are.

GINNY: (confused) What are we doing?

PANSY: (squealing) We're going to see the new Harry Potter Muggle film! SEAN BIGGERSTAFF!

GINNY: (giving odd looks to Pansy) Uh…yeah. Got that much. But why am I going?

DUMBLEDORE: Your character, Ginny, is in the film. I thought you might like to see it.

RON: You'll love it, Gin! It's incredible! To see yourself up on the big screen…(sighs wistfully) It's bloody brilliant, sis.

Ginny shrugs and nods. Draco raises a hand and Dumbledore nods at him.

DRACO: Are we going today?

SNAPE: (nods) Yes, Mr. Malfoy. In fact…we're going right now.

RON: WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! (punches air with fist) Let's go!

HERMIONE: (shaking head) Ron…ah what the hell. WOOO!

HARRY: (rolls eyes) This is gonna be interesting.

DRACO: I'll say. I'm with you, Potter. Let's bag on this mission.

Dumbledore waves a hand and a book pops into his hand. It is "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" by JK Rowling. He holds it out to everyone.

DUMBLEDORE: Come along, everyone. Put a finger on the book and we'll go to London. Oh. (he pulls his wand from his pocket) We must wear Muggle clothes.

With a wave of his wand, all of the children and students are dressed in popular Muggle fashions.

Harry and Ron are both wearing faded jeans and turtleneck sweatshirts (Harry in green; Ron in maroon, much to his chagrin.) Draco is put into loose fitted black leather pants and a gray turtleneck sweater that matches his eyes. He seems very happy with his attire. All three boys are wearing black combat-type boots. Hermione wears a plaid skirt which goes a little above her knee with gray knee socks and a matching white t-shirt which says "MAGIC" on it in bold, black letters and over that is a navy blue sweater that ties around the waist. Ginny is wearing something quite similar except her t-shirt says "STAR" and her skirt goes down to her ankles. Pansy is quite content in her black mini skirt with t-shirt and dark denim jacket. Dumbledore and Snape are both wearing pleaded khaki pants with button up lumberjack type flannel shirts and McGonagall has on a very kindergarten teacher-ish dress.

Moments later, they all arrive in front of a large theater in the middle of London.

PANSY: (cooing) You look lovely, Drac.

DRACO: (plucking at his sweater) Yeah, I look hot.

HARRY: (rolling his eyes) Please don't make me lose my lunch.

RON: We haven't HAD lunch.

GINNY: Don't worry, Harry. You look fine too. (blush)

HARRY: (blusing) Er----thanks.

DUMBLEDORE: Come, children. Let's go get our tickets before the line lengthens.

The line was comprised mainly of school-age children and their mothers. Everyone was staring at the Hogwarts group, but the group didn't notice. Snape did, he was thoroughly uncomfortable at all the stares and gawking.

DRACO: (in line behind McGonagall and Snape, beside Pansy) Couldn't we see something worthwhile, like James Bond?

HERMIONE: (behind him) How do you know about James Bond? It's a Muggle film…

DRACO: Well, last time we were here, you mentioned him…so I went home on the summer holidays and rented all of his movies from the Muggle film store in my town. I even rented one of those televisioney things with VTR.

HARRY: Television and VCR.

DRACO: Whatever. Can't we just see James Bond?

RON: If you'll notice, Draco, it's not playing right now. (points to list of movies playing)

DRACO: (sadly) Oh. Bloody hell.

HERMIONE: I don't care what you say, I want to see The Chamber of Secrets.

DRACO: Only because you fancy what's-his-face…the one with the scar.

HERMIONE: (hotly) Daniel Radcliffe, and I don't fancy him.

PANSY: (nodding) She's telling the truth. She fancies Sean….duh.

RON: You've been watching too many American Muggle things.

PANSY: What? I have not.

GINNY: I am so out of it. I have no idea what any of you are talking about.

DRACO: Is this a new development?

GINNY: Oh, shut up.

DRACO: Gladly.

DUMBLEDORE: AH! Here we go. (Hands everyone a ticket) Now, let's go in and we'll all pick out some snacks and find good seats….in the back. We don't want to annoy the other film patrons like last year.

McGONAGALL: I fully agree. (nods and ushers children inside building)

Everyone gets in the long line for snacks. As if by magic, the Hogwarts group is in the front.

DRACO: I want some Twizzlers…those were bloody good.

RON: Me too, those are good.

SNAPE: (quietly) I don't know if I can take much more of them bickering and then agreeing. It's reeking havoc on my mind, trying to keep track of all the points I take off.

McGONAGALL: Don't take any off, then.

SNAPE: Blasphemy!

McGONAGALL: Oh, please.

DUMBLEDORE: (changing subject) Snacks! Yum! (lifts one tray full of movie-type snacks and walks towards theater door…McGonagall, Ginny and Hermione follow)

SNAPE: Malfoy, grab that other tray. Potter, you take one too.

The two boys pick up the trays, surprisingly without comments. It seems the group has gotten about a hundred dollars worth of food.

Everyone settles into their seats as follows:

Snape, Draco, Pansy, McGonagall

Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny

It seems that this movie outing was going to go similarly like the other.

Oh, if only. It was going to be MUCH worse.


Obviously, I'll continue this when the movie actually comes out LOL. Until then…ah…wait? Yeah. Wait. If you want to know when I post the next bit, (it'll probably be like the 18th at the earliest. I do have to see the movie first.) then send an email to [email protected]…that'll subscribe you to my update list.