Percy: *appears in a tuxedo and a blue bowtie and holds a microphone in his hand*
Percy: Welcome, one and all, to the first ever anal I Dare You to Read This Show starring Catsrawesome!
Annabeth: You mean annual?
Frank: The way you said it just sounds wrong, dude.
Percy: I am your host, Percy Jackson, along with my co-host and sidekick, Harry Potter! Why don't you say a few words, Harry?
Harry: Thanks, Percy. First of all, who are you calling sidekick? If anything, YOU are the sidekick.
Percy: ME!? I'm the star of the Percy Jackson series!
Harry: And I'm the star of the Harry Potter series!
Percy: I'm the son of Poseidon, one of the most powerful of the Olympian gods!
Harry: I am LITERALLY the Chosen One.
Percy: I'm not a sidekick!
Harry: Neither am I!
Ron: Relax, you two! You can both not be sidekicks!
Percy: All in favor of making Ron sidekick, say 'I'.
Everyone but Ron: 'I'
Ron: This is what I get by playing peacemaker...
Harry: So anyway, this Talkshow will last three chapters. In the reviews, you may ask any question you want about Cat, us, or this series in general. Questions that are too personal will most likely be ignored, such as Cat's real name, where she lives, and stuff like that.
Percy: Her real name isn't Cat?
Piper: Wasn't that obvious? It's just her fanfiction nickname.
Percy: My life has been a lie...
Harry: ANYWAY... for our first chapter on the IDYTRT show (try saying that ten times fast!) will be centered around an interview with our fanfiction sweetheart... Elliephant! She will be interviewed by the lovely Hazel Levesque and the charming Ginny Weasly!. Take it away, Hazel!
Hazel: *wearing reporter's outfit* Thanks, Harry! Hi everyone! Welcome to an exclusive interview with the one and only Elliephant! Hello, Ellie, is it okay if I call you Ellie?
Elliephant: Of course. Nice to see you, Hazel!
Ginny: So, let's jump right into this interview, shall we? Did you know what was going on with Cat this past year? Many IDYTRT fans had theorized her to be dead!
Elliephant: Oh no, she hasn't been dead! If she had, she wouldn't have been bothering me! She's just lazy.
Ginny: Well, that puts that theory to rest! Now we can finally stop getting cheap rip-off Game Theory videos from Annabeth and Leo.
Annabeth and Leo: WHAT ARE YOU CALLING RIP-OFF!?
Hazel: Next question! What do you think about Cat's year-long hiatus? Has this affected you personally?
Elliephant: Well, it has been annoying me, and I kept telling her that she would lose all her fans if she didn't write! But I guess it's hard when you don't have a laptop.
Piper: But she does have a laptop...
Elliephant: Not one that was working. But anyway, Hazel, I guess I really couldn't care less.
Ginny: Lovely! Now, let's talk a bit more about yourself. Could you tell us what kind of powers you have?
Elliephant: Well, like my sister, I am a daughter of Hecate, so I can do all sorts of magic. However, I mainly specialize in ice magic. I also have the ability to see through illusions and tricks that people can put on me and others.
Leo: So basically, you are Elsa who can see through the mist. Is that about right?
Hazel: Leo! Stop being rude. Ellie is our guest!
Elliephant: Um... I guess so.
Ginny: Did you inherit these powers from anyone specific?
Elliephant: I don't know! I don't think so.
Hazel: Ok, let's move on. What's your favorite food?
Elliephant: Well, unlike a lot of people, I don't have a big sweet tooth. I do love a lot of fruits and vegetables, like peppers, rassberries, and strawberries.
Catsrawesome: See!? ALIEN!
Elliephant: But for food besides that? I love margarita pizza, ravioli, and FRENCH FRIES!
Hazel: Wow! That is an... interesting assortment of food you have there.
Elliephant: What are you calling interesting? Food is food!
Ginny: What are some of your favorite hobbies?
Elliephant: I love love love LOVE LOOOOOVE to dance. But I also like to draw, sing, sleep-
Elliephant: Watch Youtube and Netflix-
Everyone else: AMEN!
Elliephant: Aaaaaand that's about it.
Hazel: That's very interesting!
Elliephant: Oh! And I like to shop and do makeup and all that jazz.
Aphrodite: Did someone say MAKEUP?
Piper: Mom! We're in the middle of an interview!
Aphrodite: Is that so? Well, I guess i'll just come back another time. Up for a shopping spree, Ellie my girl?
Elliephant: Is that even a question? Of course I am! I always am!
Percy and Harry: *clear throats loudly*
Elliephant: How about, um... after the interview?
Aphrodite: Perfect! See you then! *disappears in a puff of smoke and roses*
Piper: Hi, Mom. Nice to see you, too...
Ginny: *quickly recovers after what just happened* Um, okay! We hope you enjoyed that totally planned guest star appearance of Aphrodite, Greek goddess of love!
Hazel: Hey, speaking of love, Elliephant. I have to ask the question that has been on all our minds: What's going on between you and Connor?
Elliephant: Well, I've been... busy... with my dance career and such, so we haven't been talking as much as before, which is to be expected! And... and...
Elliephant: *starts to sob silently* Connor...
Elliephant: CONNOR! *breaks out into tears*
Hazel: Oh! Um, I-it's okay, Ellie. Don't cry!
Elliephant: HE'S BEEN SEEING SOMEONE ELSE, HASN'T HE!? HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE, DOES HE!?
Jason: It is at times like these when I really can see the resemblance between Cat and Ellie.
Elliephant: SHUT UP, JASON! EAT A BRICK!
Jason: *gets hit in the head with a brick*
Elliephant: *between sobs* But you know what? *sniff* It's okay! Because, I know that he doesn't really love whoever he is seeing, right? He still really loves me, right? He still thinks I'm pretty, right? Because I am pretty! I am deserving of Connor's love! He should be on his knees right now, begging me to take him back! *pulls out knife* SENPAI SHALL LOVE ME FOREVERMORE!
Piper: Wow! She just went full-on Yandere mode!
Catsrawesome: *wears tinfoil hat* ALIEN PROTECTOR HATS FOR TEN BUCKS!
Ginny: Um, can someone find Connor? We need to settle this issue fast!
Percy: I found him!
Travis: Let go of me! I'm Travis.
Percy: My life a lie, once again...
Hazel: Um, what do you have to say about this, Travis?
Travis: I say that my brother has gotten himself into a lot of trouble that I am definitely not going to bother myself with. So, I will be leaving now-
Elliephant: TRAVIS! Connor has been talking about me, right? He hasn't been seeing anyone, right?
Travis: Um, I don't think so.
Elliephant: *starts crying again*
Annabeth: Look what you did now, Travis! You made Ellie cry!
Travis: What did I do!?
Elliephant: CAT! I-I NEED A... A PETICURE! NOW! A FULL ON SPA DAY!
Catsrawesome: *hands Elliephant a tissue using stick* After the interview, sis. Just wait a little longer. You only have a few questions left.
Catsrawesome: *Turns menacingly at Ginny and Hazel* Right?
Hazel and Ginny: *back away in fear* Right, ma'am!
Elliephant: BUT CAN'T FRANK DO IT NOW!?
Catsrawesome: *sighs and snaps fingers* FRANK! I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT!
Frank: Finally! I'm done having to always give you a peticure! What do you need?
Catsrawesome: I need you to give my sister a peticure,.
Frank: *sighs* I'll get the equipment... *continues to grumble to himself*
Hazel: Ok, um, let's try to get you through this as quickly as possible, okay sweetie?
Hazel: So, what are your views on gay marriage?
Elliephant: I THINK THAT'S IT'S PREPOSTEROUS THAT THEY TAKE THE SYMBOL OF RAINBOWS FROM UNICORNS!
Will: WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE US OF STEALING FROM MAGICAL CREATURES SUCH AS THE UNICORN! I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING! AND NEITHER WOULD NICO!
Nico: Just shut up, Will...
Will: I WILL NOT SHUT UP! THIS IS BLASPHEMY!
Hermione: Against what?
Will: I DON'T KNOW!
Nico: That never happens...
Elliephant: But besides that, I'm totally for it!
Will: HOW DARE YOU- oh...
Will: Oh! In that case, thank you! It is always wonderful to have people supporting couples like me and my boyfriend Nico here!
Nico: Stop calling me your boyfriend! It's not even canon yet in the main series!
Will: IT WILL BE CANON IF I WANT IT TO BE!
Catsrawesome and the entire Solangelo fanbase: AMEN!
Elliephant: I mean, ever since Nico became GAY!
Nico: Not so loud...
Elliephant: And EVER SINCE he admitted to Percy that Percy had been his true love!
Nico: WHEN DID I EVER SAY THAT?
Percy: I KNEW IT! I AM YOUR TYPE!
Nico: NO YOU'RE NOT!
Will: NO YOU'RE NOT!
Nico: SHUT UP, WILL!
Neville: Well technically, Nico and Percy are cousins...
Annabeth: Technically, we pretty much all are cousins.
Ginny: Um, what is your favorite TV or book series, and who do you ship the most in that particular series!
Elliephant: My favorite series is probably Fairy Tail, and-
Leo: You mean the anime?
Leo: NATSU IS SO BOSS!
Annabeth: Are you just saying that because he also controls fire.
Leo: Of course not! What kind of Narcissist do you think I am?
Piper: No one's buying it.
Ginny: Continuing on from that question, what is your favorite couple in that series?
Elliephant: Probably Elfman and Evergreen.
Catsrawesome: FRANK! BACK TO WORK!
Hazel: Okay, we have one final question, and then that will be all. Okay?
Elliephant: Finally! I have shopping to do after this!
Hazel: The final question is...
Hazel: Who is your favorite character from the Heroes of Olympus series and the Harry Potter series?
Annabeth: Oh no...
Catsrawesome: *laughs* This is gonna be good!
Elliephant: Hmm... Well, I actually have two for each that tie as my favorite.
Piper: Well, that will cause us to suffer less casualties. Thank goodness.
Elliephant: Catsrawesome, you know who to hold back, right sis?
Catsrawesome: I have no idea. Probably because of the hat that prevents aliens from controlling my mind.
Ron: *coughs* Weirdo *coughs*
Catsrawesome: *smiles sweetly and holds up bloody knife* What was that, Ron?
Ron: *shakes with fear* Um, nothing!
Hazel: I don't want to know whose blood that is on the knife...
Elliephant: Ok! DRUMROLL PLEASE!
Percy and Harry: *bang on drums completely out of sync*
Elliephant: I will first do the Harry Potter characters, so Annabeth won't kill me right away.
Annabeth: Wait, what does that mean?
Elliephant: My favorites for Harry Potter are...
Elliephant: Ginny and Hermione!
Hermione: Wow! This is such an honor!
Ron: Come on!
Neville: I don't know why I expected you to be anything like Cat...
Catsrawesome: Well, no one can be as awesome as me, can they?
Piper: *stares at tinfoil hat* You got that right.
Elliephant: And for the Heroes of Olympus...
Percy and Harry: *bang on drums again*
Elliephant: Piper and Leo!
Piper and Leo: *suddenly have party hats on their heads* YEAH!
Annabeth: *looks ready to murder someone*
Jason and Frank: COME ON!
Hazel: I don't even care that she didn't choose me. I'm just glad that interview is over...
Connor: Hey, what's going on?
Catsrawesome: Ok, I'm out.
Elliephant: ... Connor?
Connor: *finally recognizes the crazy woman in the interview chair* Um... hi?
Elliephant: *grips armrest of chair so hard it breaks*
Leo: *whispers* Run, man.
Elliephant: *smiles sweetly* How have you been doing lately, Connor sweetie? We haven't been talking much lately, huh. Been doing anything interesting? Seeing anyone interesting?
Elliephant: What do you mean, 'Um'?
Connor: Besides you, no! I haven't been seeing anyone else!
Everyone else: *lets out sigh of relief*
Elliephant: Oh! Why didn't you just say so?
Connor: Catsrawesome hasn't been writing for over a year. I was physically incapable of doing so.
Elliephant: So you would have been seeing someone else if Cat had been writing?
Connor: Um... no? I don't think so?
Elliephant: I'm the prettiest, right?
Connor: Um, yeah?
Elliephant: You love me, right?
Leo: If you value your life, you would say yes.
Connor: Yes. Absolutely.
Elliephant: Ok then!
Everyone else: *faints*
Elliephant: *grabs Connor's hand* I'm going shopping with Aphrodite! Wanna come along and tell me how pretty I look in all the cute dresses?
Conner: Well, actually-
Percy: Think really hard about what you are about to say.
Conner: I would love to!
Elliephant: Awesome! Bye everyone! Bye sis! *blows kiss to Catsrawesome, and then the reader, then vanishes in a puff of blue nice-smelling smoke and a herd of baby elephants*
Percy: BLUE! IT'S BLUE!
Ginny: So wait, what are we gonna do now?
I'll take it from here!
Everyone: *stares at Catsrawesome*
*grabs Percy and shoves him on a cupcake on a catapult*
Percy: Wait, what's going-
Have a nice life! Leave any questions you have for me, the Seven, the Harry Potter Crew, or anyone else of irrelevance! Who knows? Maybe you might get a chance to see Yanderelliephant-Chan again! Stay awesome!