Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm sorry for the delay! Life is just crazy, but I hope I've at least earned some trust with you since I keep coming back. That has to count for something, right? Anyway, here is a chapter! While to some it may seem like a filler, I promise it's not. A lot of small developmental stuff happens between Rose and Bella here. Anyway, I hope you like it, and I really do hope to get another chapter up soon!
My mood since I left the Cullen household was somber to say the least. Convincing my dad that I was going to Boston to attend an early job orientation was simple enough, but getting around Jacob was another story all together. While he still wasn't thrilled about how heavily involved vampires were in my life, he was starting to warm up to the idea. That was a lot easier now since he didn't still believe that I was meant to be with him, but that didn't mean that he liked seeing me hurt.
"Bella, you know I'll take you to the airport or wherever you need to go, but tell me what's going on. I'm not going to get mad or whatever at them. I just hate it when somethings bothering you." I could tell by Jake's demeanor that he was serious. Before when Edward did something to upset me or when they left, he had a tough time hiding his rage when just the name of a vampire came up. Now though, he was just concerned and trying to be a good friend.
I don't know what was stopping me from talking to him. Unlike Angela, he knew what the Cullens were and would understand more than anyone what it was like having a mate. Once I zipped up my suitcase, I moved to sit on my bed and crossed my arms. My mind was still debating whether or not to talk about it, but as soon as I looked up at Jake I could feel myself giving in. He was truly trying, and I owed it to him to at least do the same.
"Rosalie and I are fighting, and I just don't know what to do. She still regrets that I'm her mate because she wishes her life and all the dangers that come with it weren't a part of mine, but that doesn't change the situation. I just – it sucks to know that someone who you care about wishes you weren't a part of their life." I could feel my body fall a bit within itself the more I spoke. Honestly, I wasn't mad, and even though I understood why she would feel that way, that didn't mean that it hurt any less. How could I let myself continue growing feelings for someone who could always feel that way?
"I mean, can you blame her for feeling that way? I doubt she means that she wishes she didn't know you because if she is your mate she loves you too much to even think that, but she wants the best for you. Look at Sam and Emily. Because of what he is, he seriously hurt her, and he knows it could have been much worse. There isn't a day that goes by where he doesn't wish that hadn't happened, but that doesn't mean he loves her any less."
By the way Jake was rubbing the back of his neck and stumbling slightly over his words, I could tell that he was thinking hard about what he should say. The more I let his words settle, the more conflicted I felt. Rosalie and I were both being selfish. I was sitting here frustrated that the blonde wasn't thinking about how I felt, but I also wasn't taking things into consideration for her. The more I thought about it, the more I regretted just leaving the house without waiting to talk to her.
I quickly took my phone out of my pocket to check the time which told me that I had to be at the airport in a little over an hour. There was no way that I could drive to the Cullen house, talk with Rosalie, and then have Jacob get me to get to my flight in time. While Forks was small, there was no telling how long the talk would be, and I didn't like the idea of being pressed for time when something was this important. I bit my lip as I thought about what to do. Just leaving for Boston without talking to her didn't seem right, so with a sigh I scrolled through my contacts to find Rose's number and tapped it. As I put the phone against my ear and held it in place with my shoulder, I looked over at Jake who told me he'd be waiting at Leah's whenever I was ready. I didn't get a chance to respond to him or give him more than a nod because after two dial tones, the voice that brought me comfort was in my ear.
I could hear remorse in her voice which honestly, I was tired of hearing. Our relationship was filled with so much of it, and I didn't want the blonde to feel so much pain anymore.
My voice didn't sound as upset as it had which I could sense provided the vampire with some relief. On my end, I already felt much lighter the moment she picked up the phone. The knot that was forming in my stomach as it was getting closer to my time to leave was unraveling which was a relief. Going thousands of feet in the air while feeling nauseous didn't sound like a recipe for success.
"I'm sorry for not calling you earlier. I meant to the moment I returned to the house and saw that you were no longer here, but Alice had other plans. You actually rescued me from having to endure anymore of her lecturing."
I couldn't help but laugh lightly at Rose's tone. When I saw the pixie she was fuming, and that was just at the idea of talking to her sister. "I guess I'm glad that I can save you sometimes then."
The line was quiet for a moment as neither of us knew what to say. My eyes flickered to the picture that I had recently developed on my dresser, and I couldn't help but smile. It was one of Rosalie and I in the garage of the Cullen house. The blonde was in her usual overalls that were covered in grease in many different places, and I was staring at her which was pretty normal on my part lately. Alice decided to snap the picture claiming that it would last longer which of course led to more teasing than I would have liked. While I still wasn't happy about what was said, I knew that I couldn't stay mad at Rosalie.
"Isabella, I'm sorry. Although I have been rather terrible at showing it, please know that I do not regret loving you. I simply wish there was a way to ensure your safety. My possessiveness along with my desire to protect you led me to do exactly what I promised you I wouldn't do which is listen to your opinion."
I knew it took a lot for the blonde to apologize. Saying she was prideful would be an understatement, but when it came to things involving me she showed time and time again that she just didn't care about that. She was vulnerable around me, and every time I saw that I knew I was falling for her more.
"Thank you for apologizing. I know its dumb, but sometimes I don't know that. I know you love me, but there are still sometimes when I feel like you wish you didn't."
"I've lived years without you, Isabella, and that is not something that I wish to ever experience again. You have provided my existence with love, happiness, and joy. I've told you before that I never would have chosen this, but since meeting you I have a found an appreciation for it. Without it, I would not have met you."
Tears pooled in my eyes as I listened to the words being said to me. Since I started dating Rosalie, I hadn't compared her to Edward because they were so vastly different. Yet, in that moment, I heard everything I had once yearned to hear from him, but it meant so much more. I let out my breath in an attempt to calm myself down so I wasn't a stuttering, blubbering mess.
"Why do you have to go and say things like that? I've told you talking isn't always my strong suit, and saying thank you just seems terrible."
It was in moments like those when not sharing the same level of feelings as the blonde was hard. I couldn't reciprocate everything with the same conviction as my mate, but I knew I felt something for her. However, when I received such beautiful words like the ones I sometimes got, what I had at the moment didn't feel like enough.
Finally, I heard a small chuckle on the other end of the line which let the tension ease itself out of my body. "My Bella, what you say happens to be just enough for me."
"Rosalie, you – I," my words started but really weren't getting anywhere. It wasn't hard to talk to the vampire, so that wasn't the problem. It was the fact that I didn't know how to phrase what I wanted to say. "You don't have to worry about me asking to become a vampire right away. If you and everyone else would have let me speak, I would have told you that. It's not that I don't want to be with you forever, but I just want to see where we are going first. It's a big decision, and I get that more now than I did when I was sixteen. Just know that I wouldn't make such a big choice without talking to you."
To her credit, Rosalie didn't interrupt me once which was a big change from how the talks went earlier in the afternoon. She simply listened, and then just took a moment before responding to me. "May I be the one to drive you to the airport? Is there a way for Jacob to drop you off to me? I'm parked right at the treaty line."
"Yeah, I don't think that will be a problem. Um – give me like twenty minutes to get there?"
"I'll wait as long as you need."
After hanging up with Rose, I quickly double checked everything and then called Jake to ask him if he'd mind taking me to meet with the blonde. After giving him a quick recap of what happened on our phone call, he was more than happy to take me. The drive there was filled with much less tension than before. Even though I couldn't tell Jake the truth about why I was really leaving so suddenly, he was glad that I would be getting to spend some more time in the city I would eventually call home. I promised to send him a lot of pictures as I got out of his truck and headed over towards the red Ferrari that was known as one of Rosalie's babies.
She was out of the car and taking my small luggage before both of my feet had even hit the ground which caused me to roll my eyes. Chivalry was one thing, but usually they all treated me like a helpless human which was not nearly as charming. That was a tiny battle for another day though. Right then, I was just happy to see Rosalie and have things be on a better note before I head to Boston.
I spotted Rose give Jake a small wave goodbye out of the corner of my eye that made me smile more than was probably necessary, but I couldn't help it. Both of them trying to get along for my sake meant a lot to me. There were a lot of things I didn't want to repeat when I came back to Forks, and my best friend and significant other being at each other's throats was high on that list.
Since the other woman was such a private person, it didn't surprise me that she waited until his truck had driven off to turn to me, place a hand on my hip, and lean in to give me a gentle kiss. My hand rested against her bicep as I just relished in the warmth of the action before moving to sit in the passenger seat. Putting on my seatbelt was an immediate must because being in the car with a vampire could be absolutely terrifying. None of them seemed to be very fond of speed limits.
"Thank you for meeting me," were the first words out of Rosalie's mouth, and I could see that she still felt awkward. It wasn't like the woman was usually a chatter box, but she definitely was more of a talker in my presence as of late, so hearing something so formal and hesitant was a tell-tale sign of something still bothering her.
Wanting to offer her a bit of comfort, my hand reached over to grab hers over the center console and intertwine our fingers. It helped that I wasn't exactly worried about her reflexed being restricted. Driving was something she could probably do with her eyes closed and without hands. "Rose, if you think that I wouldn't want to see you when I'd be gone for a few days, then you're crazier than Alice."
The jab at her sister got the small smirk that I was hoping for along with a slight squeeze of my hand. "I'm going to tell her you said that," were the first words out of her mouth which got me to pretend to quiver in my seat. Out of all the vampires, Alice was the last one I would fear. Sure, she could be mischievous, but she was one of my best friends. "I just wish that this wasn't necessary. There is no other place I want you other than with me. It already pains me enough to have you living on that reservation. You know I must love you to constantly allow you around and currently sit in my car when you smell like a wet poodle."
While I didn't feel things to the extent vampires did when it came to mates, Alice had described to me how painful it would be to be separated from a mate. I couldn't imagine feeling actual physical pain when I wasn't in someone's presence. I mean, melodramatic teenage shit aside, I really had never relied on someone that much. My parents were both great, but neither one of them are the kind that raise a dependent kid. Mom was always a free spirit and still hadn't settled down anywhere for longer than two years, and my dad was always kind of a loner. I got traits from both of them which I guess was why I hadn't felt that kind of attachment since my obsession with Edward.
"Well, when I get back we can talk about me spending more nights with you or something. It would be nice for me too. I sleep better when I'm with you."
Whenever I was spending the night at the Cullen house, I always looked forward to it because I loved them all, but also because I knew I'd be getting the best sleep I could. Something about Rosalie made me feel safe, and I just kind of melted into her. Usually, I was knocked out without even remembering going to sleep. I really wouldn't have been surprised if someone told me that I fell asleep midsentence at some point.
"When you're back then."
"Yeah Rose,when I'm back home."