AN: Back with an update, and yes it's been a minute so I hope you guys are still with me on this one! Thanks to all that have read and reviewed so far!

And thanks to Captain B for the beta work!

I walk inside the small aircraft hangar with a shit load of emotions running through me. Anxiety, fear, and something I can't quite figure out. But I have to admit, it feels kinda good. What I'm feeling the most is dread, and not for the long 14 hour flight ahead of me. What I'm dreading more is the feeling I'm getting as I get closer and closer to the small aircraft.

I hate flying. I don't know how many times that that thought has run through my mind since I took this mission. You would think I'd be used to it by now, with as much as I do it. If Slayers were meant to fly TPTB would've given us wings…or made us bad-ass witches. The only thing I hate worse than flying though, is teleporting.

I once asked Red how exactly she did it. She rambled off some shit about particle displacement with magic from one place to another. I honestly had no clue what the hell she was on about, but my version of it was that she fucks with us, and hope we end up the way we are supposed to be when we get to our destination.

Yeah…no. I don't especially like the idea that I could end up with my head attached somewhere that wasn't my neck, or any weapon I'm carrying being stuck in places other than my hand, when we finally land. She tried to assure me that wouldn't happen, but magic can get wonky. I'd prefer not to chance it if I can help it.

So I stick with the flying death boxes that Giles feels it necessary we need by the hanger being full. The way he explained it was it would look 'rather deviant travelling with the general population in our sometimes harsh conditions'. And I guess he's right. Trying to get a crossbow and a small sword through an airport would be a bitch. Plus I don't think any airline would feel too good about a bunch of chicks walking in the place and getting on a plane all bloodied and bruised.

But my hatred of flying isn't the reason I'm dreading getting on the plane right now. It's the feeling that's creeping its way over me and humming through my entire body. I sling my dufflebag over my shoulder and grip the weapons bag in my hand. I climb the steps to see the reason why leisurely occupying one of the seats with a magazine in her hand looking like she's readying herself to take a first class trip somewhere. It would be funny, only she isn't supposed to be here.

Moving over to where she is, I reach up and stick my bags securely in the overhead and plop down in the seat beside her and look at her. She smiles one of those heart stop beautiful smiles at me and I can't help but throw one back at her.

"What's up B? Thought this was a solo flight, you tagging along?"

I really hope she isn't. I need to clear my head and I can't exactly do that with her around. Even now her being so close now is fucking with me, but it feels so damn good when she's around which is why I can never be away from her for too long. But I need this I need to get away from her to try to calm this craving I have for her. And I hope she isn't here to stop me either, if so, we'll probably end up arguing, and I'm really not up for that.

She tucks the magazine in the pocket on the seat in front of her and turns slightly in her own so that she's facing me. "You know, if this were a movie, this would be the moment in the end where I come here to stop you from leaving, then you realize what an idiot you've been this whole time, and you get off this plane with me." She grins at me and it makes me chuckle.

"Yeah?" I ask and she nods a little with a grin still in place. There she is with those silly ass rom-com references again. If it were anyone else I'd tell her them to get a fucking life, but I know the one that she has, and it's no joke. "Well if it were, I'd at least have gotten to feel you up by now to know it'd be worth my while to get off this thing." I tease her, but I know I probably shouldn't have said that because giving how things have gone down between us lately, I just know she sees an opportunity to bring up this whole us being together thing again.

"Oh, well that's totally your own fault on that one." She says amused with a grin still tugging at her lips. "We would've definitely skipped over the PG phase and been more into MA territory by now if it were up to me. Surely you know that after the credits roll and away from impressionable eyes that lots and lots of naughty fun is had that they don't show in the movies right? "

Ya see? I knew she was gonna blow my mind. My mouth opens to form some kind of response but it just kinda hangs opens at the implication and I know I'm sitting here gaping like an idiot right now. I hear her chuckle slightly and I'm sure it's at my expense. Damnit.

I don't know if I'll ever get use to seeing this side of her. The whole side of her talking about wanting me in a non-platonic, let's get wriggly kinda way. She's just so damn bold about it, like she's made up her mind and it's settled. It could be all talk though. Whatever it is, it still has the motor revving because I be damned if I don't want to suggest joining the mile high club right now. But does it still apply if the plane isn't even moving? Oh who cares, I'm sure we could get this thing rocking and I could make her feel like she was flying.

"But nope, I'm here to spoil your get away from Buffy plan." She finally says, and it brings me out of my wicked thoughts. Because who am I kidding? There's no happily ever after starring me and B. Not one that includes me and her getting it on. "I will however ruin your slink away in the night plan. I thought I'd see you off since it seemed you were going to leave without saying goodbye." She smiles lightly at me and I have the decency to look ashamed at her comment because yeah, she's busted me.

So she's here to say goodbye. Or maybe just fuck with my head some more. It's something she's been real good at lately. Which is the reason why I gotta get out of here. Having my head screwed with is never a good thing.

"I thought we did that this morning in your office."

"We really didn't. A lot of things were said this morning, but goodbye wasn't one of them. Our goodbyes usually end with hugs, and a promises from you to be extra careful. You're tempting fate, so I'm here to save the day."

"You always do." I grin at her, and she smiles at me again, and it's enough to make me regret leaving her. Almost anyway. I definitely need to get away from her before I end up doing something I'll really regret.

"So how long is your flight?"

"About 14 hours." I sigh, dreading it already. "Got a bottle of Jack in my bag so hopefully I'll be passed out through most of it. It'll be around noon when I get there." I tell her while glancing down at my watch. When I look back up she's staring at me with those eyes that I can't help but get lost in. Damn I'm gonna miss seeing them.

"Looks like you got it all figure out then." She chuckles. "You sure you don't need any help? We could get a team together in less than an hour to go with you."

I shake my head and look over at her. "No, I can take care of myself, you know that. Plus it's not like I'm doing this alone, I'm just there for the grunt work remember?"

"I know," she sighs, rest back against her seat and rubs at her eyes before pinching the bridge of her nose. "But it's different this time and I want to make sure you'll have as much protection as it takes."

I frown slightly at her. "Protection from what B? I'm not the one being hunted."

She moves her hand and rolls her head in her seat to look at me. That gorgeous green in her eyes is darkening and I know there's something on her mind. "I just want you to be safe that's all, which I know you will be." She reaches over and puts her hand on one of mine that's laying on the arm rest and squeezes a little. She smiles a little but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Any idea of how long you'll be gone?" She asks, effectively changing the subject.

"You know how it goes B, could take weeks….could take months." I shrug and look away from her because now she looks kinda sad and I hate seeing that look especially if I'm the cause of it.

"I know, I just hate it, and miss you when you're away so long." She brings her hand up and moves some hair over my shoulder then brushes the back of her hand across my cheek. It makes me shiver a little and my skin tingles all over from just the simple touch.

"It is what it is, ya know?" I reply with a shrug and remember to breathe. I don't say what I'm really thinking though, which is I always miss her like crazy too, and that it never gets any easier.

"Well I guess the sooner you leave the sooner you'll be able to come back right?"

"If you put it that way, yeah I guess." I chuckle and nod a little.

"Well, let's not prolong this any further then and you get moving." She tells me and I feel her move closer to me, bring her other hand up to cup the side of my face and turn it towards her. Her thumb lightly brushes along one of my brows and then she leans in, and before I can react, she places a soft kiss on my lips, and then another.

My heart slams against my chest and I close my eyes at the feel of her warm mouth on mine. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I had the chance to react that I would've pulled away. I miss kissing her already. Kissing her is like nothing I've ever felt before, and she has me wanting more of it. She isn't pressing for anything hot and heavy, but I still can't help the moan that pulls its way out of my throat at the soft, wet butterfly kisses she's steadily pressing against my lips. Fuck that feels good.

I know now is not the time to let her keep screwing with me though. I know if I let her keep this up it will turn into something more so I pull away from her, take a deep breath, and put my forehead against hers. Her hand is still against my face and she's rubbing her thumb across my cheek softly now. It feels so good having her touch me like that. Even something as innocent as what she's doing now has me drowning in my desire for her.

"What're you doing B?" I say in a low, husky whisper.

"Saying goodbye," she whispers just as softly against my lips before kissing me again, like it's the most natural thing in the world for us.

Shit. She really has to stop doing that or I don't think I'll ever leave her. I pull away again, swallow hard, and try to catch my breath without panting like a bitch in heat. "Yeah but this ain't usually how it goes though."

I feel her pull back slightly. "Not usually…but when you tell a girl you're in love with her I think you should expect some goodbye kissage from now on."

My eyes pop open and I see a slow grin spread across her lips. Fuck. Did she really just go there? And yes….yes, she just did. And it's not like I expected her to just forget about it, even though I wish she would. But damn. Did she really have to bring that up? And now she's about to kiss me again, but this time I don't let her. I move away and then bring my hand up to take hers away from my face.

"Buffy…you really gotta stop doing that." I plead, hoping that she will, and just let me leave.

"Why should I?"

Why? Is she nuts? So okay, I've already concluded that she must be insane when she kissed me the first time a few days ago. Now I think it's me that's the crazy one for not just letting this happen, even though I know I'll get burned in the end. Ain't that what the smart dude with the weird hair said the definition of insanity is? Doing shit you know is crazy and expecting it to be different? Well, it was some bullshit like that anyway. Only I'm not stupid enough to believe that getting something going with B will have a result other than heartache just because she keeps dropping kisses on me. Really hot kisses at that. But that's beside the point.

"Because I don't wanna hurt you." I answer. And I don't want to hurt myself either for that matter.

"Then don't." She counters and brings her hand back up to caress my cheek.

I shake my head at her because I wish it were that easy. "The only way I know not to do that, is to not do this." I motion between the two of us. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Maybe, maybe not," she shrugs. "But we will."

She smiles beautifully at me, and leans in and drops a quick kiss on my lips. "Be careful Faith, because when you get back I'll show you all the reasons why we should be doing this." She whispers across my lips before she stands. I look up at her and I have no words for her. No snarky reply. No flirty comeback. Not even a fuck off. I'm fucking speechless. Imagine that.

She looks down at me with a smile still in place, runs her hand fingers through my hair and kisses the top of my head before she eases past me and walks away.

I'm still speechless as I watch her leave. Not that I could come up with a proper response to any of what she said or just did even if I want to, because my brain just shut down trying to think of exactly what she means by 'showing' me. In my deprived state all I can think of is her fucking my brains out. That would definitely be a hellavu 'show'.

Fuck. I really need to get it together.

"Piece of shit." I mumble after finally finding the broken off switch on the lamp and getting it to turn on. I place the bag I'm holding down on the table and kick the door closed behind me. I look around the room. It's small, dark and kinda reminds me of all the time I spent in the shitty motel back in Sunnydale and a few other places I've stayed in my life. And that definitely brings back some memories.

Not good ones. But it has the bare essentials that I need….a bed and a shower. I could've snagged better living quarters, but this place is close to where I need to be. I guess no matter what country you're in, it's always gonna have a place considered the slums. But oh well, guess it's home for now.

So, I've been in Tokyo for almost a week helping out with the sitch here. I opted out of staying on the base. They live in close quarters and I really don't want to be around anyone more than I have to. Buffy has my head so screwed up right now that I don't trust myself to do much more than hunt and slay. It keeps my mind busy and I think about her less when I'm out doing what I do best. It's probably the only thing that's good for my sanity right now.

So being pissed off at the knobby light switch may be a little overboard, but I gotta chose my battles. So guess what? Fuck you little broke off light switch. You get to be the bad guy right now. If it isn't that then it has to be at myself for telling B how I really feel about her and then bailing. I should've never told her that.

I mean it's not exactly like I meant to tell her all of that shit, it just all sorta came out. I never meant for her to know. Never in a million years would I have told her all of that, but I just got pissed off at her thinking I was denying I felt something for her.

It kinda hurt actually. The fact that she's just now coming to whatever realization about her own feelings, whatever the hell they may be, and then her throwing all that crap at me just made it all come to a head. Leave it to B to turn my world upside down just because she's just now realizing that I'm worthy.

Selfish is what she is. Selfish and spoiled as fuck. She's so used to people falling at her feet when she turns on that cute little half smile, and looks at them with those gorgeous freak of nature, color changing eyes of hers.

Now she's got my head all messed up and I don't know what to think about all the shit that has gone down between us in the last few weeks. It felt good kissing her though. To damn good. Too good to be true in fact, and I'm still wondering if it all ever happened. Maybe whatever time we spend apart will put all of this in perspective. Maybe she'll realize that whatever she may be feeling is just a phase, and stop wanting to do the heart to heart thing. Maybe if she does stop, I won't lose my head over it and go all psycho Slayer again.

Okay, so maybe I won't go to that extreme again. I did promise that I'd never hurt her like that again, or myself. I am sure that if she decides that we should forget all about it and go back to how we were that it'd hurt like hell. You don't just tell someone you have feelings for them, and have them pour their heart out to you, and then be all, 'hey, just kidding' and expect them to be happy about it. Despite the fact that I think me and her being together is a bad idea, and I wish everything we said to each other could all be taken back, I know that it can't. But I also know that it would destroy me if she wanted to.

See how messed up she has my head? I mean I want all of this to go away, but at the same time I don't. Fuck. I don't know what I want anymore where she's concerned. This is why this whole sitch is dangerous. Coming to terms with the fact that I could never have her, and her putting it in my head that I can is just too damn much. I know she says she has feelings for me, but she didn't exactly say what those feelings were. I know it's too much to hope that she could actually be in love with me too, so what exactly does she feel?

Does she just want a roll in the sack every now and then? No. Even I'm not stupid enough to believe that. B's not about doing casual. That's my deal. But I know that even I couldn't do that with her. She means too much to me to make her into some kind of fuck buddy, even if she gave me the go ahead. What I do want though, is for her to be happy and I'm not even sure if we did try something I could be the one to make her that way.

That's why I had to leave. This will give us both time to clear our heads and step away from this fucked up deal we're in. It was just too hard being around her and having her look at me with those eyes that I could clearly see were filled with sadness when she looked at me.

It's amazing how things can change in a blink of an eye, and that's exactly what her trying to change the nature of our relationship has done. It changed things between us and I just couldn't stand to be around her knowing what she was wanting and expecting from me. This is why I don't want to do this with her, because things will change and not necessarily for the better.

I miss her something wicked though, and I'm miserable as hell right now. The fact that she's called me every day since I left doesn't help either. I half expected her to be pissed off and go all cold and hard on me for dropping the shit I did on her and then leaving.

Well, I'm pretty sure she's pissed off about me leaving even though we didn't really leave things on bad terms. Gotta give her credit though, she's playing the part well. And maybe I'm being unfair, because I'm sure she would be checking on me even if all that shit didn't go down. I know she cares about me which I'm sure that's why she wanted to send a team with me.

The fact that she hasn't mentioned anything about what we said to each other and about the things we kinda talked about on the plane has me a little on edge though. I mean I don't want to talk about it, but I can't help but wonder what's going on in her mind and if she's really serious about getting all "MA" rated with me. As far as I know B's never been with a chick, so the fact that she's brought it up a few times has me wondering just what brand of freak she is. After all she fucked not one, but two vampires. And nothing says freak like banging the undead.

We only talk for a few minutes a day and it's about Slaying shit. The one night our conversation went over that few minute mark was when she told me they decided to stop sitting around on their hands and had finally started combing the forest for those flying vamps. And when I say they, I know she really means 'she' decided. We all know who runs shit.

To say I wasn't amused was the understatement of the year. She decides to do this shit after I leave? I freaked out big time about it because of those weird dreams I've been having. I mean fuck, I'm glad Queen B decided to pull her head out of her ass and make an appearance, I wondered where she was. It just didn't seem like her to just sit back and wait for shit to pop off before she did something about it. That's just not how she operates. Buffy's a take charge kinda girl, so I don't know what her deal was.

But fuck, did she have to decide this now?! As much as I hate doing it, it took everything I had not to just say fuck it and have Willow transport me back to Scotland so I could be by B's side. But I'm committed to helping out here though, which is why I can't hightail it back right now. They actually do have a real fucked up sitch going down which is why I signed up. And okay, I mainly took the mission to get away from B, because slaying definitely helps me keep my mind off her. And since we were limited to what we can do back at home, I decided to take this on and help track down some elusive demon monk that likes to kidnap kids.

So it was for a good cause even though it was for selfish reasons too. When I read the briefing on what was going down, I made a call to Satsu. She's the Slayer leading the Tokyo crew and she's actually one of the few Slayers I can remember by name now. That' mainly because I think the kid had a thing for B, so of course I'm going to know who she is.

I remember when she did some training in Scotland with us, how she'd follow Buffy around like a little lap dog and made every excuse in the book to be around her. Yeah I know the signs, hell I invented them and there was no way I was going to stand by and continue to watch her making moon eyes at B. It's why I signed off on her assessment, giving her atta boys across the board and suggesting that she move her lovesick ass back to Tokyo and get prepared to be a squad leader.

Now don't get me wrong, the kid was ready, I wouldn't have sent her out to the wolves if I didn't think she wasn't, but I wasn't about to sit around waiting for her to make a play for B either. I knew it was coming. The kid actually had the guts I never had to ask her out. She made it seem casual and all, like she just wanted to get a one on one with the Head Slayer to see how she was doing.

Yeah. Fuck that. She wasn't fooling anyone. Well except maybe B. She did turn down the personal one on one with her though, telling her that it wasn't just up to her about her progress. That every senior member of her training squad had a say, so it didn't really matter what she thought and that everyone would decide collectively.

I was happy as fuck about that. Not that I thought B would've hit it off with the kid, being that she's the poster child for straight as they come chicks. Well, that was before she decided she wanted to stick her tongue down my throat and keep hinting that she wants to fuck me. Needless to say, I've had to put up with Buffy fucking vamps, soldier boy and all the other losers she attracts. There was no way I could handle her getting it on with a Slayer that wasn't me. I think I would've had to kill them both. Okay. So maybe it wouldn't have gotten that far. I don't think.

And this is another reason why me and B being together is bad, she has the ability to control my emotions, and not always for the better. Is it possible for someone to be both good and bad for you? It's like she's my strength and my weakness and sometimes that line gets blurred. So let's just be glad it never got to that point with the kid.

So here I am helping to track down some old ass, blue, one-eyed demon priest that appears child-like and likes to snatch up kids. Freaky right? Aobozu is its name and apparently he's been a part of Japanese folklore for ages, but I could care less, I just want to find the fucker and put a hurting on him. It's bad enough that kids have to deal with today's freak pedophiles, now they have to be afraid of one from the 18th century too.

You don't fuck with kids, they are too innocent at that age to have this sort of shit happening to them. And yeah, some kids are terrors, and seem like they actually could be demon spawns. But this guy is taking that shit to a whole new level.

We really didn't get it at first, you know? Why he was snatching up kids? That is until we ran across a nest of vamps that were keeping kids with them. After clearing out the nest and leaving one of them intact long enough to question, she explained that this guy gives the kids to them to turn. They don't know why and they could care less because it's an easy meal for them.

But what the geek squad has come up with is that this bastard wants some playmates. I mean the legend has him always appearing like a kid, so it makes sense. He gives the kids to the vamps to turn to make them children forever. Only I think there's something a little more to it though. This thing has had centuries to fill his kiddy diddler camp, you would think in that amount of time he's had enough.

It felt kinda wrong having to dust those little kids though. Even though we knew they were vamps, it just didn't feel right because they didn't ask for that. Not that the grown-ups do either, but these were kids. We did what we had to do though, no matter how fucked up it was. The only question is, how the hell do we kill this fucker once he's caught? And I will catch him.

But I guess that's something for the brains to figure out. It's funny that in every Slayer base there is a Giles, Willow and just a Scooby gang in general. I guess B and her little band of merry men have rubbed off on the Slayer world. That's my girl, a force to be reckoned with and showing them how it's done. She's a legend and she knows it.

And just like that my thoughts turn back to her. Not that they never stray too far away, but being here and focusing on something to kill only gives me a few hours to not think about her. I wonder what she's doing now. I'm actually surprised that I haven't heard from her today. I guess I could always call her, but that would defeat the purpose of trying to get her off my mind. But then again it's not like I don't answer when she calls me. And ya see? See how I get all damn wishy washy where she's concerned.

I don't want her to call.

Fuck. Why hasn't she called me?

I don't want to talk about how I feel about her.

Why the hell hasn't she told me exactly how she feels?

I don't want her.

Oh yeah, that's a damn lie if I've ever told one.

Fuck this. I need to get lit.

Reaching over into the bag on the table, I pull out a beer and the bottle of whisky I picked up before I came back to my room. I usually make it a point to never drink heavily when I'm on a mission, mainly because you never know when you may have to get up and motor on the fly, but right now, I need this. I need to take my mind off things. I need to take my mind off her. And no, I don't have any illusions that drinking will do that. No, my objective right now is to drink down these emotions and pass the fuck out. Then of course I risk dreaming about her.

Fuck my life.

Unscrewing the bottle and taking a long swig from it, I tugged my jacket off and try to lose myself in the warm liquid burning its way down my throat. Feeling my eyes water from it, I twist the top on a beer to chase it. Yeah, this is what my night will be like….me drinking down my sorrows.

Fuck you world and fuck you Buffy Summers. I'll see you in my dreams baby.

I'm jolted awake by the violent rocking of the boat and I can feel that B is not with me. I sit up quickly and grasp the side of the boat to keep from being thrown over. Looking around frantically into the darkness, I call Buffy's name loudly and listen for an answer. There's nothing but the sound of waves crashing around me and hitting the boat. I scramble to the other side of it and call her name again and wait. Nothing.

"Fuck!" I yell out loud as my eyes dart around but the inky blackness surrounding me makes it impossible for even my Slayer vision to cut through. Damnit. I move quickly back to the other side and call out to her again. And again….nothing. My heart is racing and I'm sweating heavily despite the fact that it's still cool and breezy. Where the hell is she?

Falling back in the middle of the boat, I bring my hands up to my face with a feeling of dread washing over me. Where the fuck is she? I promised her. I fucking promised her that I wouldn't let anything happen to her and suddenly she's not with me. I jerk my head up and wipe angrily at the tears that have started falling when I vaguely hear something in the distance.

It sounds like my name is being called and I quickly make my way to the bow. Holding my breath and straining to hear, I look out into the darkness hoping that it's not too late and she's out there somewhere. I hear it again, what sounds like my name. The voice is distant and faint, but it's definitely there. It has to be her.

Searching the darkness again, I'm suddenly hit by a wall of water and I splutter against the onslaught as I struggle to hold on. It pointless though, because it's soon followed by another that totally engulfs the boat and suddenly I'm under water. In a panic, I gasp and instantly realize my mistake as water rushes its way through my nose and mouth. I can't breathe….I can't see, and suddenly I feel this pain inside of me that feels like it's trying to rip me apart.

I want to scream at the pain and emptiness that's invading my body but I know that will only make me inhale more water. I kick frantically trying to make my way up to the surface, but it's pointless. I can feel the water filling and flowing through my lungs. My eyes are heavy and I can feel myself fading so I don't waste the energy. I just keep still and wait for the inevitable.

As my eyes are just about to slip closed, in the distance, I can make out a light that slowly starts to turn fiery red and begins to burn. I struggle to keep my eyes open and focus on it, because surely that can't be right. Fire doesn't just materialize under water. I focus hard on the burning light and that's when I see something.

A figure appears inside of the flame and that's when I see her. Buffy. She's there, floating inside of this fiery glow and reaching out to me. On instinct, I sluggishly move my arm through the water, reaching for her too. I have to save her. My heartbeat is slowing and my lungs are burning but I fight against the pull of unconsciousness that's trying to take over me. But nothing, not even death will keep me from reaching her. With everything inside of me, I wade through the water towards her. The flame is starting to spread now and I can feel the heat from it. As I get closer, I pause when I get to the edge.

"Don't be afraid, it only hurts if you stay inside," I hear her B say. And it makes absolutely no sense. I have to actually get inside to save her, how can I not be afraid of that?

Steeling myself, I cautiously and slowly push my way through it. I slam my eyes shut at the burning sensation I can feel on my skin and I hear the hissing sound hissing of water coming into contact with fire. I can faintly smell the burning of flesh as I slip through and the burning heat starting to surround me. It's painful as hell, but oddly enough I'm not going up in a blaze of glory. I wade through it, ignoring the pain of the burn and open my eyes to focus on the one person I need to get to.

It feels like an eternity before I reach her and once I'm floating right in front of her, on instinct I open my mouth to say something and that makes more water through my nose and mouth. My eyes slam shut and I start spluttering at the assault of the water. That's when I feel B's mouth on mine and as she blows air into my lungs. When I open my eyes again, I can see that her eyes are the color of fire, but her face is pale. Her arm reaches out to me again and she lays her palm against my cheek and smiles.

"Once inside, escape the fire." I give her a puzzled look because I hear her say the words, but her mouth never moved. I want to ask her what that means but I don't want to risk inhaling more water before I can get her out of here. But as if she's reading my mind I hear her voice again. "Escape the fire, it's the only way."

I take a look around to look at the ball of fire that has engulfed us and it's getting hotter. I want to scream at the pain as the fire starts to char my arms and I can feel my clothing slowly being burned away. How the hell am I supposed to escape this? It's all around us. I keep looking around for a way out, but all I can see now is fire as the whole sea turns red. I bring my gaze back to her, but she's gone now, and I panic. I frantically look around for her but it's pointless. All I can see is the burning glow and it's starting to burn hotter as the burning sea starts to turn blue.

Where the hell did she go? How the hell am I supposed to escape this? All these questions are running through my head when suddenly there's an explosion and I feel myself being blown back through the flaming sea and then I'm falling. Into what, I don't know.

The last thought I have as my world turns black is that I've let her down. I broke my promise to never let anything happen to her. I failed.

I fall to the floor hard as pain rips through my body and I feel like I'm being torn up inside. The scream I feel making its way from my throat never comes and I grasp at my chest, begging for air to enter my lungs. Rolling over, I curl into a ball, hoping to ease the pain but it doesn't. I shake violently and I can feel sweat pouring from my skin. Every part of me is in pain, my mouth is dry and it feels like I'm dying. The pain is too much. It's so overwhelming and I know why. It's a pain I've felt before and one I never wanted to feel again.

It's the same pain I felt the first time when I was locked up and I lost her. I can feel the same emptiness clawing its way through me and leaving me hollow inside. There's no question in my mind why I'm feeling this right now. No other explanation for it.

Buffy's gone.

How the fuck did this happen? What the hell has she gotten herself into in the time I've been gone? I should've never left her side. I should've paid more attention to those weird ass dreams I was having but I was so caught up in my own drama that I failed to do the one thing I promised her I wouldn't do.

I let her fall.

Stretching my body out slowly with as much strength as I can manage, I take a deep breath and lift my head. Darkness is all around me and a strangled scream pulls its way out of me at the revelation. The pain in my body is nothing compared to the pain I feel in my heart. As tears start flowing from my eyes, I feel myself beginning to lose consciousness. I don't try to stop it, I don't want to stop it. With her gone, there's no need to because nothing matters anymore. I just want this pain to stop, but I know it never will, not with her gone.

Right now though, oblivion sounds pretty damn wicked and I beg for it to come. My head falls back against the floor hard and I wait for it. I long for it. Closing my eyes, I succumb to it all. To the pain, to the emptiness, to my broken heart, and to Buffy not being inside of my soul anymore. I can feel one last strangled cry trying to make its way out of me from the thoughts of it all.

And then there's nothing.