Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own Kirby. I make no profit from this work of fiction.

It should go without saying, but this is intended to be humorous. This is totally AU.


"This is really great soup, Chef Kawasaki." Tiff smiled up at the rotund cappy as he walked past her table. Her brother Tuff kept poking at his plate of rice noodles, twirling the utensil through them as he rested his chin in his hand.

"Thanks, Tiff!" Setting down a tray loaded up with bowls of steaming soup, he smiled at her before turning to serve customers at another table. Gently placing each bowl on top of the pristine white tablecloth, he was careful not to allow any of the broth to splash over the rims of the full dishes. A large grin spread over his face as he set down the final one, happily telling the group to enjoy. When the explosion rocked the street, it caused the bowls to shake sending liquid sloshing over the sides.

Kawasaki hung his head in disappointment, a whine issuing from his throat even as the two children rushed from the restaurant. Tuff's eyes widened as he took in the black smoke billowing up into the sky. His sister had taken off down the street, her blond hair swinging rapidly from side to side as she ran.

Her feet slapped roughly against the stone street as she ran. She finally arrived at the source of the smoke, throwing her arms out to the side to keep her balance as she came to the edge of a large crater. Looking down into the hole, she heard her brother's feet pounding on the avenue behind her. She turned to catch him to keep Tuff from tumbling into the pit.

At the bottom of the cavernous hole stood a glowing goblet. The heads of three dragons rested on the rim, their long serpentine bodies curving out from the cup before tapering down and running parallel to the glass. Their tails twined underneath the bowl of the goblet, crossing each other as they coiled about the stem. Entranced by the intricacy of the foreign object – as well as the fact it had managed to survive whatever explosion had created the crater in the street, neither of the children noticed the arrival of the ball of pink fluff, his red feet padding lightly on the ground.

"It's so beautiful!" Tuff nodded mutely, his jaw slack. "I wish we could get it out of there."

Tilting his head to the side as he looked down, their unacknowledged companion chirped lightly before creating a vacuum of suction. Rocking from side to side, the cup resisted his efforts. Forcing his mouth open wider, he increased the speed of his inhalation.

"Kirby, no!" Tiff's voice could not be heard over the loud whooshing as the wind propelled the goblet towards them. Grabbing it in his stubby pink hand, the short creature danced from one foot to the other for a moment before the light emanating from the chalice surrounded him. Deafening gusts enveloped Cappy Town's most infamous immigrant. His eyes widened, his mouth forming a circle of surprise as he realized the folly of bringing the foreign object to Tiff for examination. Squeezing his lids tightly shut, the baby alien squeaked as the screaming noise of the gales overwhelmed his senses. Caught up in the swirling cyclone, he did not hear the terrified shrieks of his friends.

The howling of the wind subsided as it dropped Kirby and his cargo into a graveyard. His bright carnation color contrasted completely with the pitch darkness of his surroundings. He shook slightly, a small whimper coming from his throat. A rustling to his right caused him to turn, his eyes narrowing. Heavy footsteps thudded on the ground, crunching the dead leaves underneath as they approached him.

Seeing the size of the creatures in this strange place, the pink space warrior slipped behind a headstone, keeping himself in the shadows. Just as he moved from the place of his landing, he heard two more bodies hit the ground, the metal clank of the goblet as it crashed into the earth echoing through the graveyard. Tiny spots of light appeared on the other side of the stone providing him cover, elongating the shadows and giving him more room to move about unnoticed.

He was unable to make much sense of the next few minutes, with the short, fat man threatening two young boys followed by some strange words that resulted in the palest thing he had ever seen apparently stepping out of a pot. After it moved away from the kettle, he hopped up on the rim. Looking down inside, he was unable to see anything any more solid inside, but he could not deny that he was getting hungry.

Tiff and Tuff were supposed to have ordered lunch for him, but the explosion had diverted all of their attention. Going without food was not something he ever had to worry about, so the rumbling sound from his stomach surprised him. The pale, bald creature that had exited the cookware in front of him turned back towards him, still making strange statements to the boys who had tumbled into the clearing.

Kirby stared into the mostly empty pot forlornly before he came to a conclusion about the pallid fellow walking about. If it had been in the pot, then it should be food. It had probably gotten out because there was no fire underneath to cook it. Raw food had never bothered him – the pink space warrior had consumed things that had made Tuff turn green but had always tasted fine to him. His stomach rumbled once more, making up his mind for him.

Not caring about whatever nonsense the black-robed foreign cuisine was spouting – though it was probably a complaint about having to be dinner for so many, given how many people were in the graveyard – Kirby simply started inhaling. The pale creature turned towards him, only the dark covering and the leaves which had fallen on the ground caught in his vacuum. Concentrating, he narrowed his eyes as his suction increased. The maneuver which had never failed him came through for him again, drawing the large, hairless food into his cavernous maw. Shutting his mouth once the meal was inside, he swallowed.

The boy with glasses was staring at him in shock and the lights around the cemetery were beginning to come closer. One of them changed color, the sickly green shade racing towards him. He jumped to the side, unknowingly exposing the child to the light. It struck him soundly, the boy falling to the side with lifeless eyes.

Kirby's eyes narrowed. Even when the cappys were upset at his eating habits they never attacked him. Only the monsters ever tried to harm him. His head cocked to the left, he considered them carefully. They all seemed to be confused, staring at something behind him before advancing on the space warrior. Determining that he was still hungry, and since they were monsters they were fair game, he opened his mouth wide once more.

Winds swept through the graveyard again, the howling sound rousing the bespectacled boy. Inhaling with all his might, Kirby closed his eyes, waiting for each of the many beings in front of him to slip between his jaws. Opening an eye once he tasted dirt several moments later, he glanced about. Satisfied that he had rid the graveyard of the horrid creatures, he closed his mouth, swallowing deeply.

The two boys behind him blinked before thanking him quietly. He turned to face them, smiling for a moment before his face appeared to be overcome with indigestion. A loud belch erupted from Kirby, causing the two boys to chuckle. The boy with glasses scooped him up before grabbing the serpentine handle of the cup which had heralded their arrival. When the other boy firmly gripped the second handle, Kirby wrapped his small pink hand around the third. All of them vanished in a swirl of air.

As the group departed, they did not see the spirit sulking atop the gravestone.

"Well, it's my own fault. Thirteen is an unlucky number."