Disclaimer: Not mine. Not at all. Not ever.
A/N: Fill at Comment-Fic for Evil_Little_Dog who prompted "BtVS, Buffy, Another outfit ruined by messy demon goo."
"It was so disgusting," says Buffy as they enter the library. Her nose wrinkles in distaste. "The thing was, like, this"—she spreads her arms out wide—"big, half stabby porcupine, sea urchin—sea urchins are the stabby ones, right?"
"Half oozing gooball, and half mould. Half of the goo was mould, but also still gooey," she clarifies when Willow opens her mouth with an interjecting 'ah…' "And look," she rolls up the sleeves of the sweater she's wearing despite the heat to display her arms to Willow and to Xander and Cordelia sitting at the table. Her skin is covered in small but very noticeable red slashes, like she'd barely won a battle with a particularly grumpy cactus. "What am I going to tell my mom if she notices? It's not like we have a cat I can blame it on." She rolls her sleeves back down and sighs. "Can I blame it on your cat?" she asks Xander.
He shrugs. "I always do."
"And I'm not even to the worst part. The thing shredded my halter and then it melted."
"The demon?" asks Willow, eyes wide from her intense listening and mouth tight to show her concentration in following the woes of her friend's demonic altercation du jour.
"I meant my halter, but, yeah, it did, actually."
"The same one you were wearing yesterday?" asks Cordelia.
Buffy nods sadly.
"Well, then thank God at least one good thing came out of that."
When Willow and Buffy turn to face the cheerleader, Xander hastily tries his best to cover. "No, she means, you know, at least it was… only the halter and… No, I got nothing."
Cordelia rolls her eyes. "I mean, now you don't have to wear it to make your mom or whoever gave it to you as a lousy present feel better, which is the only reason I can figure out for why you ever even put that thing on in the first place."
Buffy glares, indignant and still mourning the loss of her outfit.
"What?" asks Cordelia. She looks to Xander and Willow for support. "Oh, come on, you were all thinking it."
"No," Xander says, "actually I was going to ask where she got it so I could get one for myself, but then I thought that might make me look to much like a sheep."
"Whatever," says Cordelia. "All this just goes to prove what I've been saying this whole time. The dry cleaning is definitely the worst part of this whole gig."
"Aside from, you know, the constant threat of death and all the lies and everything," says Willow.
But Buffy is nodding glumly even as she does and she sinks into one of the seats at the table across from Xander, her chin in her hand. "I'm really, really starting to agree."