Description: Four and last part in the series. A continuation of J e XMination.
Jessica and Lex discover their love again. There is a serious threat coming from out of space. Also, the Earth is doomed.
full links in my profile
"You can't possibly tell me you believe this fucking bastard!" Lex yelled to me. "You love me! No matter how evil I am! You love me! How can you not remember that?! How can you not feel it?! They did something to you, too! I know it! The Locians did something to you, too! And you know well that my father did give his fucking life for me! I can't die! You need to save me!"
"Shut up," Oliver said and then he handed me his knife. I grabbed it. It wasn't even my intention, but something inside of me did it like I had no control over my…
No control over my brain, I realized in horrification and nearly gasped. Lex was telling me the truth. There was a reason to why I didn't seem to love them both anymore. It wasn't only that mine Lex was gone. I still should've mourned him, felt the lost of him in my heart. Instead, it was like I was brainwashed. All numb and no feelings. My love for Lex was always unconditional, so why I was so eager to give up now? He would never give up on me like thiat if he was in my place.
The steel of the knife felt cold in my hand.
"Stab me in the heart," Alexander asked. "It's my father's heart and I've always hated it. Eve since the moment I got it."
"Lex, I…" I stammered, sobbing.
"I love you. You need to do this. You know there is no other way," he kept on convincing me.
"I'll do it," Oliver volunteered. "I already have blood on my hands on the contrary to you and Clark," he told me. "I killed him once, I can kill him again."
"Jessica, please," Alexander asked me again.
"I saw what killing Lex did to you the first time, Oliver," I found myself saying "And I tried so hard to help you and yet I couldn't. I will not watch that again. Killing him will not bring you peace. I know he murdered your family, but I want you to stay the Ollie I know."
"Kill the part that is my father and then I will die like I was supposed to. Remember? The only missing piece that prevented me from raising again was a heart," Alexander told me.
I nodded and kept crying as I held the knife in my shaky hand.
"I love you, Lex Luthor," I told him, but I didn't really feel this love at the moment. I loved the man who was already gone, killed by the Locians, not by me.
I bent down and I kissed him.
Then I put the knife to his chest.
I hesitated, remembering again what I'd been thinking just a moment before like through a fog. Why was that, exactly?
I was looking into the blue-gray depths of the eyes I knew so well and loved so much, yet in the same time there was something different about the look in them, like it was impartial, changed. I knew the reason now, Lex was split, so he was not the Lex I knew. There was so much pain in those eyes. I knew he wanted an out, I knew he just wanted to be put to sleep forever, so he couldn't remember what the evil him had done, but…
It was the easy way out. Should I just believe that there was absolutely nothing to be done to reverse the process? Maybe the solution didn't exist… yet, but maybe it could be found somehow. I lived in a world full of wonders and supernatural. Why couldn't a cure be created? Lex had been put back together before.
Besides, Lex would never give up on his life and paradoxically, I started to believing the evil part of him. He had no reason to lie to me. He'd already been brutally honest with me when it came to Eve Tessmacher.
There was always a way out. Once kryptonite had done it. Other time Chloe…
Chloe who was now dead, killed by the evil Lex along with her and Ollie's child, Connor.
I closed my eyes, the knife was right next to Lex's chest, but I just couldn't bring myself to stab him. Not yet. I was fighting the strange fog that seemed to be clouding my head at the moment.
I saw in my mind my first encounter with Lex. I'd liked him from that very moment. I'd loved him, too. It was love from the first sight and I couldn't deny it any longer. I'd fallen for him and been loving him more and more for the next hundred plus years.
Why would I suddenly stop?
I remembered how I'd suffered when thinking that he was dead and then how happy I'd been when he'd turned out to be very much alive.
I remembered our first kiss.
I remembered the moment he'd finally given up and instead of pushing me away to save me, he'd pulled me closer, made love to me.
I remembered how I'd lost our first baby, then lost herself and eventually him.
Then he'd come back to me.
He had come back to me from the dead.
Right now he was split, his evil version screwing Eve Tessmacher, the good one loving me, but with no spark.
And what had I done? Was I any better than he was? Hadn't I hurt him just the same? I'd let Clark take advantage of me. I'd had sex with Clark.
Sure, killing the one true love I'd ever had would be simple. I would never have to tell him the truth. We would never have to deal with this mess, with him fucking Eve, with me fucking Clark and with him killing Chloe, Connor and Tess.
Only life wasn't supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be hard and messy.
And I loved this man, I realized with horrification because I was so close to stabbing him in the heart. And there would be no coming back once I killed him. Something was lifted from my mind when I kept on fighting it and then I finally felt it. I still loved. That knowledge nearly leveled me down completely and left my heart broken.
Who was I to kill the only man I'd ever truly loved anyway? He was gone now, true, but maybe he was just lost. Maybe I could still fix him. I loved him whole and I would make him whole again. I made the decision, now sure that Locians had done something to me, too, probably to make it easier for me to let go. But I was stronger than that. Love was stronger than anything!
"Do it, Jessica, kill me," I heard him talking to me and his hands grabbed mine, trying to push the knife into his chest. I could feel how fast his heart was beating, his chest raising heavily as he was breathing hard. He was afraid, terrified even, but still, he wouldn't stop. "I need to die," he emphasized.
I imagined myself actually doing it. Stabbing the body I loved so much and experienced so much pleasure from. Feeling his hot blood spilling on my hands and…
"NO!" I suddenly screamed in horror and pushed his hands away, throwing the knife away. "You came back from the dead for me! If that's not fate, then I don't know what is! We can't just throw it all away! I love you, Lex! There's been only you and you know it! Dying would be the easy way out! You feel guilty for what your other half did and you think this will be a good punishment for you, but guess what?! It won't! I won't let you die! It's always been and will be you! You are my true and only! He was right!" I pointed at the evil Lex.
"Jess…" Oliver started, but I interrupted him right away.
"Don't you dare! This is my decision! You stay away from him!" I got up to my feet and covered Lex with my own body.
"I still have the other one," Oliver pointed the evil Lex who was held by Clark.
"No, you won't do this! You know I would hate you for you! Hell, I would kill you!" I screamed at him. "He was right, ok?! There was something wrong with me! I didn't love him, but now… now I do!" I couldn't believe how I could've ever forgotten that love. I felt it now in every fiber of my being, awakening me. Love for Lex was all I knew and wanted. "The Locians must've done something to me, but I broke through it! I did it just now because love is stronger than anything!"
"But…" Oliver started and then finally, Clark cut in.
"Calm down! Both of you!" he roared and that caused me and Oliver to be quiet and look at him. "Jessica's right. It's her choice. Besides, we don't just give up on people! Oliver, it's true that he killed your wife, my best friend and your son and let's not forget about his own sister! But… this wasn't entirely Lex's fault. If you want to blame someone, blame the Locians! They did this to him! We've always known that Lex had a dark side, but we never give up on people! Never! I thought I've taught you that!"
"What are you going to do with him? Hah? Lock him up forever? Because he said it himself, there is no cure!" Oliver fought hard.
"Maybe he wants us to think that way," I suddenly realized. "There isn't now, but it can be. We can make it. I will not give up! We need to stop this madness of killing and just… come back to what used to be. We need to put him together. Don't you see it, Oliver? The Locians are still trying to control us! They want us to live in chaos and fight each other! And we shouldn't! We should be united!"
"I agree," Clark said calmly.
"Well, you can put him together all right, but you can't bring back the dead!" Oliver yelled.
I started crying again, feeling helpless, fearing that Ollie might find a way and kill Lex anyway.
"Oliver, I am sorry. You know, I am… but…" I tried to speak to his mind.
"But you love him so damn much," Oliver scoffed. "You've always had and you never cared about the consequences! He shouldn't have been resurrected in the first place and you all know it! He said it himself!"
"In a crazy theory that might not even be true!" I told Oliver.
"You all know that he just said it, so you would kill him," the evil Lex just spoke, his voice exasperated like he was tired of listening to us arguing. "And Jess, if you don't put us together, we can play all three!" he chose the worst possible moment to make that comment.
"You…!" Oliver started with a clear intention to go get the knife I'd dropped before, but Clark stopped him with one arm while he still held Lex with the other.
"Oliver, don't. Just… go… go and cool yourself down."
Oliver shot both Clark and me a full of resentment look and finally, he left.
"Baby, just remember that you will never love this weepy one here," the evil Lex pointed the other self who was still on the floor. "You need the both of us together, otherwise you can't love us and you know it. That means that I'll still be a cold-blooded killer." Why was he provoking us like that?! Maybe because he was smug that he'd won, I thought.
"Shut up!" I just told him. "Clark, just… could you please lock him up and make sure that Ollie…" my voice trailed off.
"Don't worry, I won't let anyone near Lex. No one will hurt him," Clark promised and then avoided looking into my eyes once again.
Now that we were almost alone in the room, it was just too awkward. What had happened between us… it just shouldn't have happened.
How would we deal with it and when? I wondered.
Well, clearly not now when there was still so much to do.
"I'll call Alex," I said. "Maybe he can help. He's been more often to JeXCorp than I was. Maybe he can find a way to reverse this."
One month later
"Mom, you do realize that we're the only ones left that believe he can be himself again," Alex turned to me.
We were near the JeXCorp's lab, checking up on the scientists working on Lex's case. We'd managed to retrieve a lot of the Locians' official data and we hoped that some of it would help. Emil Hamilton was the one in charge. It was very hard for me to ask him in particular for help and I felt like an awful person doing it, but he was the best. Luckily for me, Emil understood the situation even better than Clark did and certainly so much better than Oliver. He agreed, explaining to me that every single person had two sides, the good one and the bad one and they were constantly balancing each other. Even the purest person in the world was built that way and he told me that if it was any one of us split, then we would do the exact same thing Lex had. We would probably go on a killing and cheating spree. This theory eventually calmed Oliver down, but he still had a resentment towards Lex. It would probably always be there as it had in the past. Some conflicts that had their beginning in childhood were never really meant to go away because they were rooted too deeply into a person.
What concerned me right now was my own behavior. Lex had an explanation to why he'd slept with Eve. I did not to why I'd had sex with Clark. I wish I could just pin the blame on the Locians, but back there I'd still had my own common sense. I'd known what was right and wrong. I'd just been lonely and desperate and hurt. I'd thought the love that I'd believed to be the strongest one, the one which could survive everything just crumbled to dust, disappeared. I'd thought things between me and Lex had been over forever. How could've I known that he'd not been the Lex I'd fallen for? Still, that didn't make it all right to sleep with another man, especially while he was married, too. I was a monster. I was a whore. I'd done it all once before, but back then I hadn't put much thought to it since Lex had actually been dead. I'd had no way of knowing that he would be back. Now was another story.
I just sighed heavily. I couldn't let him die. He could hate me all he wanted later, but I wouldn't let him die. I would make sure our love would last forever, even if only on my part.
"I do realize," I finally answered my son. "But Alex… we can't lose hope. Not ever." I looked into the lab through the thick, glass door and saw Emil working hard like always. "I feel so sorry for him."
"Don't be. It wasn't your fault and you couldn't have done anything, mom," Alex comforted me. "Besides, he's the one who understands how all of this works."
"When he discovered the truth about Lex, he didn't think we could reverse the process," I noticed.
"That was the grief talking," Alex assured me. "He can reverse it all right, just trust me."
"I hope so. I don't know what I'll do if…"
"Mom, it'll be all right. Dad will come back to us and you'll be able to come back to… you know…" his voice trailed off significantly.
"To what?" I asked, dumbfounded.
"What? We all know you do it more often than normal parents should."
"When parents can actually live forever, they have more strength and youth to… oh, for a god's sake! You're a grown up! Get over it!" I scolded him and actually laughed.
"I haven't seen you laugh like this for a long time now," Alex pointed out and smiled right back. "It's good to see it."
"I'll laugh more often once your dad's back, I promise. Now, about the other thing, can I count on a daughter-in-law any time soon?" I asked teasingly.
"Mom, it's all still very fresh between me and Imra…" Alex started explaining himself, but it didn't miss my attention that he also started blushing.
"Mhm… You know, this red hair of yours might be dark but those genes still make your face burn in all the least wanted moments."
"Damn it! Why couldn't one of you be a brunette for a change?" Alex asked, clearly indicating that both I and Lex had natural red hair. "What kind of genes have you two given me anyway?!"
"You should be happy that your hair isn't bright orange," I teased him again. "And I let you know that I'm very proud of what I and your father produced."