This is for Risknight. I took up the gauntlet. Let me know how you like it.
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Penny sat across from Sheldon and picked away at her napkin, feeling the weight of the past several months eating at her usually chipper mood. She looked at her neighbor, wishing that she had a better way to tell him all this without sounding like a whiner.
"I woke up the other day and realized that I couldn't stand him," she told Sheldon quietly. "The funny thing was that it wasn't anything he did or didn't do, but about what I had done to myself."
Sitting up straighter, the tall physicist asked, "What do you mean?"
"I mean I let Leonard's insecurities and wants change me, as well as my life to the point where I don't like it or myself anymore," she told him, sounding brittle as she did so. "I stopped going out with my friends, I stopped doing anything I like, and don't even get me started about what he thinks about the people I go to school with!"
"I wasn't, but I take it he doesn't like them as well?"
"That is an understatement," she muttered. "And then I find out that he showed that gosh awful movie I was in to anyone he could when he was in the north Atlantic last summer!" She covered her flame red cheeks with her hands. "Oh God, Sheldon, I found out when this man I didn't even know came up to me and exclaimed that he couldn't believe a hot body like me was sleeping with a short ass like Leonard!" She took a sip of her drink. "This was only made worse when he went on to ask me if I would be interested in sleeping with him. Meanwhile, he did so without even looking up from my breasts."
"So that's why you kneed Dr. Rayburn in front of the people in the cafeteria last week?" he inquired to which she nodded. "That explains a lot."
"The worst part of the car crash that was last week, Leonard gave me his sad puppy dog look and said he was so disappointed in me! I didn't do anything wrong!"
A dawning light lit up Sheldon's face. "So that's why you dumped your cold coffee on Leonard in the hallway between our apartments?"
"He's lucky all I had on me was my coffee mug or it would have been a hell of a lot worse than just coffee over his head," she muttered. "It was bad enough that I was treated like a piece of meat by that ass, but Leonard thought he could lecture me as if I were a kid in need of being raised." She snorted. "I have a father. He might not have been much of one, but I got 'im."
"Penny," Sheldon sighed. "I know you called me here for more than to hear your sorrowful tale."
Her face softened. "I missed you, Moonpie."
"Thank you and I missed you as well, Penny, but do stop calling me Moonpie. Only my Meemaw can call me that," he told her. "I wish I could give you a solution to your problem, but I find that my own pair bonding is drastically unfulfilling as well."
She looked puzzled for a moment before asking, "You're not happy with Amy?"
"That's what I just said," he muttered.
"Sorry, but sometimes you can be a jerk." He looked at her startled. "I'm not an idiot, Sheldon. My vocabulary isn't as big as yours is, which is fine for me most of the time. But you start talking the way you do and I'm lost. This wouldn't be so bad, but you get all pissed off at me when I ask what you could mean—something I would have thought you'd like, seeing as I'm learning new words and how to use them when I do so—but no! Instead you get all into jerk mode."
Sheldon's face fell a bit at her words, before saying, "I apologize, Penny."
Sighing, she said, "That's okay. Now tell me why you aren't happy with her. I know she can be a bit…" She couldn't even come up with a term, saying, or descriptive. "Amy."
"She has been increasingly demanding to the point where I have found myself asking if I am in this relationship for any of the right reasons," he mumbled mostly to himself. "She has an excellent mind. I find it and her personality to be fascinating. But I have still have no wish whatsoever to mate with her. Is that wrong of me?"
"You're not attracted to her?"
He flushed, as he muttered, "I'd rather lick your unkempt kitchen island than have anything to do with Amy in any sort of sexual activity." Penny's eyes went wide at his words.
"You can't help it if you're not attracted to her, Sheldon. It's one of those things. You either are or aren't. And in this case, you're not. And there's nothing wrong with that," she murmured. "To tell you the truth, my bedroom activities with Leonard have never been what anyone has called great…"
"I don't need details!" he snapped, interrupting her.
"I wasn't giving you any," she told him. "I was just telling you it isn't great for me."
"Oh," he said, blushing now.
"He thinks it's all perfect, because he's in love! But let me tell you, just because I'm in love doesn't mean it adds to anything Leonard may do in the bedroom," she told him, as he was burying his face into his palms.
"Oh Penny," he sighed. "I must be hanging out with you too much."
"Why?" she asked him.
"I understood that."
They looked to each other and busted up laughing.
But when the laughter died, they found themselves staring at each other.
"I'm going to have to break it off with Leonard, aren't I?"
"If you want to become whom you wish to be," he said softly. "Yes, chances are you'll have to do that." Swallowing thickly, he inquired, "I'm going to have to terminate my relationship agreement with Amy as well?"
"I'm pretty sure you're going to have to do that," she said kindly. "But how are we going to be able to do that without Leonard going all Emo and Amy…doing whatever it is that Amy does?"
"We need a plan," Sheldon told her.
"But I can't think of a thing that would make Leonard less whiny after a breakup and Amy less…Amy," Penny said thoughtfully.
He thought that over and pointed out, "Perhaps we are looking at this the wrong way." She frowned at that, but he went on, "Perhaps we shouldn't be asking ourselves what could make them less them, but what we can do to avoid it."
She thought that over. "You mean run away?" She shook her head no. "That won't solve anything!"
"It'll solve me not having to listen to that awful music he plays until he 'hooks up'…" He used air quotes. "…with the next warm female body he jumps." He crossed his arms over his chest. "And I hate harp music, Penny. I think I'd move back to Montana to avoid it again."
She winced at that. "So what do we do? Because let me tell you, Sheldon, I don't know how much more of his Leonardness I can take."
Scowling, he said, "That isn't a word." Sheldon then sighed. "But that being said, sadly I know exactly what you meant."
Penny worried her lower lip and said, "May be we need for them to break up with us?"
"That would never happen," he sighed. "Leonard is too enamored with you to think beyond those fictional beautiful babies he's constantly going on about you two procreating and Amy would be foolish to unhook me. I'm too much of a catch."
"What? He's still going on about that?" An angry flush filled her cheeks. "That asshole! I'm more than a-a brood mare!" She pursed her lips and told him, "You know she has a five year plan for you two, don't you?"
He blinked at her. "For me to win the Nobel?"
She shook her head no. "For you to be bed, wed, and with kids." He took a sharp breath in shock at her words.
"You heard me the first time," she told him. "We need to be mature and break it off cleanly. But we can't do that until we have a plan in place."
He nodded at this. "True, Penny, but what do we do?"
She thought that over and said, "For now?" She stood up. "We're going to Disneyland."
He leapt up. "Now that sounds like a plan!"
Thanks for taking time out of your day to read this. I'll try to update it within the next two or so days. Let me know what you think! Thanks again and have a great day.