Vader's Angel
By: wertman25
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Star Wars…. Or Anakin Skywalker… Which is a pity…
Author's Note: I know, I know. Hallelujah, I have risen...
Anyways... friendly reminder that I am currently editing and rewriting earlier chapters. This is simply to enhance the earlier chapters to match the flow of the story and my currently writing style. This is to make this story the best that it can be and at the moment, I know that it is not. For the most part, these edits will be adding scenes and more detail, but I'm not promising that things won't change slightly as I edit and flow takes over… so this is your last reminder that if you would like to save the old version of the story, please do so cause I'll be uploading the changes soon. I will try to save what I can in the separate listing of Vader's Angel: Deleted Chapters.
MAJOR DISCLAIMER: There is a vision of rape and forced sex in this chapter. Reader discretion advised.
Chapter 47: Nightmares or Visions
Enigma. That was the only word to describe him. Darth Vader was a living, breathing paradox. A physical walking contradiction. He was the one true mystery of the galaxy that Padmé knew may very well might never be solved– nor should it, in actuality, if one truly cherished one's sanity. The mystery of the Sith was like a vast blackhole– endless, eternal, and never-ending. It would keep you reeling– captive for hours, than spit you out with even less answers than you had started with, and the insanity cycle would continue as long as you tried… until there was nothing left of you… The mystery of the Sith Lord Darth Vader was something that was too inconceivable, even unthinkable for any ordinary human to understand… Or at least there was a time that she would have thought as such.
It was so much easier when Darth Vader was a simple infamous legend, a ghost in the night, a distant mortal enemy. At that time, he seemed like a fantasy, some twisted tale of a dark bedtime story you told children around a campfire to keep them up at night. Now, Darth Vader was all too real. But even worse– he was human.
She had thought at some point, that Vader was ageless. That the Sith had no beginning and no end. He simply was and always would be. Whatever that meant. Maybe it had been naive at the time to think as such, but when Vader came to be– when he had revealed himself at the creation of the Empire… It was hard to think that the creature known as Darth Vader had been simply looming, lurking, and waiting all these years to strike. A man– or whatever she had thought he was at the time– of such action would have surely never of had the patience to simply wait for the opportune moment. He must of had come from some galaxy far, far away to wreak havoc on them. Or cooked up and created in some classified lab right before the Jedi's destruction. There could have never been a chain so tight or a cage so powerful that Palpatine could have contained him and hid him all these years. Vader could have never been just a… boy?
The thought brought Padmé back to the brink of her sanity, thinking over the whole explanation again. No matter how many times her mind came to the same insane conclusion. Surely, there had to be another explanation to why Vader had been absent throughout the entire civil war before the Empire– why Vader had not existed before the Empire. He could never been a simple child during those years. A little boy who had been tortured and trained in such a brute life… a misguided teen in need of a guide… tortured, trained, and hardened… until Palpatine had use of him.
But that is what Vader had said, right? He had said that he had been in Palpatine's care since he was a young boy. It seemed the only fitting explanation, Vader being barely a man now, that he would have still been a child, even a teen still growing up then. Afterall, he had talked about his experience on Felucia. He had even opened up about his knowledge of small connections and memories, such as the flowers – the leias. How he even told that he had even been on Naboo! Was that truly why Vader had never been seen before the Empire? Possibility cause… he had never existed?
The thought of Vader never existing– even being a boy at some point– seemed impossible… but it was the only logical explanation was the only thing that made sense. But if that were true– who was this man she was sleeping with? Who was he truly? Did he have a name? A life? A home before… all of this? Who was he before Darth Vader? Did Vader remember? Did Vader know? Surely, if this was the case, Vader hadn't always had blood on his hands. Surely, he didn't always thirst for blood… for power... for war… Vader, at one point, had to have childlike needs. As hard as it was to imagine… C-3PO had said that Vader had created him… a droid so kind and faithful as the gold robot must have been with Vader since his youth… But then, where was Vader's mother? Vader was flesh and bones, so he had to be birthed… unless he truly was a creation such as the clones? Vader having a mother didn't sit well in the pit of Padmé's stomach, but she couldn't help but to wonder… Did that mean… Vader once had a family? Were they out there? Were they looking for him?
Padmé groaned as she fell back into the bed, staring up at the blank ceiling. A secret was the way that Vader should have stayed, but now it was far too late for that. She had found a small crack in the hard shell of the Sith, possibly one that Vader didn't even realize he had, and she had dove head first into the opening, consequences be damned.
It seemed pointless– even idiotic to attempt to try to make sense of it, but she found that with each denial of the alluring task that her mind was unable to resist such lure. He was her greatest temptation and his mystery was her ecstasy. He was her own personal puzzle that was begging to be solved. The last few hours had done nothing, except deepen her fascination with him and furthermore sending her spiraling farther down her infernal squall hole.
How was it that one man could be so different– so contradictive of himself? Darth Vader was a Sith Lord, the murderer of millions, the Emperor's heir. On the battlefield, he might as well have been the embodiment of Death himself. Chaos and destruction followed wherever he went… so much blood was on his hands… the same hands that could cradle her so gently at night… the lips that spoke out such horrific commands… that felt so soft against her skin… and the coldness that followed wherever he went… and yet the warmness she felt in his presence.
It was all so truly complicated now and Darth Vader aided in her in no way, even worsening her attempts for clarity. Since their relationship had begun, she had known that in some way they were doomed. She knew there would be no getting out of this situation unscared– or even, sane… but she had only hoped that she could spare herself the misery– the grief, which she knew now was impossible. She would never find clarify in such a haze. She would never find the answer in such a mystery. She would never be able to forget Lord Vader…
Standing up, Padmé moved to the fresher and shut the door, stripping off her clothes before looking in the mirror. She looked at the yellowing skin around her neck in the mirror's reflection, the bruises already beginning to heal, but still screaming of the dark reminder of Vader's occasional dark nature, especially towards her. They were the marks that he had left on her body before they had departed into this wild place. It was such a short time ago and yet, it felt like an entire lifetime. So much had changed since then. She didn't know why or even how to explain it, but she felt differently about Vader since that moment. She knew something had changed within him– within both of them.
He had been so angry before they left Coruscant, so full of rage and hatred, but since then, he seemed to have mild... becoming vigilant even, at least as much as a Sith Lord could anyways. She imagined being away from Palpatine aided him in some way, allowed him a bit of ease from the stress and irritation he felt from that wicked, vile man… but she couldn't help to remember his face after he came into the star destroyer. How twisted and wrong he had looked… how tormented… Then he had brought her to this planet and they had traveled together– had an adventure. He had revealed so many small things about himself without even realizing it… spent time with her… listened to her… It was all so much in such a short amount of time… She almost couldn't make sense of it…
Aphra was right. This was far too dangerous… but Padmé knew that. She had already considered the risks. She had gone over them a million times. She was through beating herself up about the way that she felt. Nothing that anyone could say could change that now. It was far too late anyways. She loved him. Against all odds and the warfare of the galaxy, she had fallen for the Sith Lord. She couldn't change that now.
She wasn't senseless enough to think that he felt the same. Or even brainless enough to think she was now somehow protected because the sentiment. She still wasn't an idiot, despite her heart being one. She knew Aphra was right about that, too. Sith Lords only craved power and bloodshed… Vader wasn't capable of such feelings, nor did he probably understand such sentiments, but still, a small part of her hoped that he did, at least in some sort of way. She hoped that he didn't just want her for her body or lust after her for his own need… but that somehow… the Sith… maybe… liked her… for her?
It sounded ridiculous. Stupid even, but she couldn't help but to have the smallest shred of need– of desire to be wanted by the man that she was sleeping with – the man, that against all odds, she had fallen in love with. She was a simple woman after all, and underneath all those layers of torment, Vader was still at the base of himself, a man. So it felt only natural that she wanted to know such simple details: Like if he thought she was beautiful? To know if she maybe crossed his mind? (Even though she highly doubted it, at least in the way that he seemed to live within her mind nowadays.) To know… if he would miss her when she was gone… the way she would miss him… To know that she was held close to his blackened heart… if only for a moment…
It was a pointless thought though, cause it really didn't matter. She knew that they would be doomed regardless and at the end of the day, it wouldn't very much matter. They were enemies on separate sides of a galactic war after all, and it wasn't as if Vader truly cared for her enough that they could be together– nor if she really thought about the whole situation through to conclusion would that relationship ever workout outside of the bedroom.
Vader would never fit into her life. He was a lover, a good one at that– fantastic even, but he would never be a boyfriend… or a husband… or a father… She wanted things that Vader could never provide for her. He would never fit in with her family, nor would he ever be accepted by her people, her planet– let alone, the galaxy. They would never exchange vows and be able to have a simple life, sitting in the gardens, growing old together with their babies and grandbabies.
She also did not want to have a Sith Lord father her children… the very thought of such a little vile being, nearly making Padmé sick to her stomach. The spawn of Darth Vader, heir to the Empire's throne, birthed from her body… Some sick, evil child with its father's abilities and need for power… with sweet tan skin and dark blonde hair… with such a contagious smile…
Padmé pushed away the thought again. Not liking where her train of thought was heading, and pushing away the bad memory that it conjured. She jumped into the shower and tried to think of her family. Of what they would think if she would arrive home with the infamous Darth Vader, practically dangling from his side in the doorway or moon's above, pregnant with his child. She had a few innocent enough courters that she had brought home on occasion, who her father had intimidated with his hard scowl, but she hardly doubted her father's scowl would match that of Vader's. The sight of Lord Vader at the Naberrie doorway would probably be enough to give her poor father a heart attack.
Oh, how she missed them. Her family. She could only imagine what they would think of her now– what they must be going through, and for a moment, Padmé couldn't help but to feel guilty for not being more concerned about them. She was always concerned for them, of course, but she couldn't help but to feel as though she should have fought harder to contact them. To at least let them know that she was okay and that she loved them. How she missed her father's warm hugs and her mother's gentle smile. She missed her sister's eyerolls and her brother in law's laughs as the girls giggled outside on the patio. She imagined them all at the table together for dinner, like they used to do in the old days, far before this war. And for a moment all is peaceful and her heart is whole… until the truth sets in… that there is truly no place for Vader there.
It's a sad epiphany, but one that Padmé knew she needed to realize. That was just the reality of it. It was the truth. Vader just didn't fit into that life. He didn't fit into her life. Nor did she fit into his. The mighty Lord of the Sith would never be found at a dinner table surrounded by family. He would never be a family man. He would never be a husband. Padmé could never bring Vader home to her parents. She would never want him around her nieces. She would be too scared of his anger and their safety for that… And Vader was still her enemy, an enemy that she still hoped that they could destroy….
But… she didn't want to destroy him. Not Vader. Not her lover. But somehow, she knew, he wouldn't understand the difference. In reality, she didn't really understand either, but she knew that her lover and Darth Vader were one of the same, and she couldn't have one without the other… so in the end, she would have neither at all.
And she realized that one day she would either die and it wouldn't matter, or maybe, just maybe she would see her family again, and they would smile and laugh like they used to. Maybe at that time, the war would be over, the Republic would have returned to its former glory, and she would even have a husband or children of her own at the table… and Vader would simply be a distant memory… but for whatever reason… that thought didn't make her as happy as she knew it should.
She wondered briefly what would it be like if she survived this war and so did Vader. She wondered if he truly would be the next Emperor and succeed Palpatine, what would their life be like? If that were so, she would surely never be Empress, and she doubted that Vader would ever ask, probably already knowing her answer or too stubborn to make his case. So where did that leave her? Would she still be in the Senate, standing before him and pleading her case? All while thinking about how good his lips felt on her body… or his hands on her breasts…
Or would they go on living separate lives? Even finding other partners? Other lovers? Would their time together simply become a distant memory? A forgotten past?
For some reason, again, that made her sad. More so that she truly wanted to admit, cause in some way, she knew that Vader had marked her. That he had ruined her for all men. That no man would ever be able to please her like he had. That no man would be able to touch her like he had… That no man would be able to live up to his standards, at least in the bedroom… And although she tried to tell herself that it didn't matter, she couldn't help but to wonder… Would it be the same for him? Would Vader lay with another woman and think about her? Would he compare this woman or women to the way Padmé pleased him? Or would Padmé be alone? Would she be the only one forced to relive a dream? To chase a memory? Would she be forced to relive his touch every time she laid with a man? Would she dream of him when she went to sleep at night? Would she constantly live in torture?
Or if she did ever find another partner, would they truly have her knowing that she had been soiled by Darth Vader? Knowing that she had laid with him? That he had taken her? How could she tell her future husband that she had laid with him– that she had… liked it? Enjoyed it, even? And what if she was to have children? What would she say when they asked her about the Sith? What was she to tell about her time with him? About all that she knew?
Or would that be her secret for the rest of her life? Forced to live with the weight of sleeping with her enemy and even coming to enjoy it… continuing to live on, despite knowing that she loved him…
How pitiful! Is this truly what her life had become?
Everything was just so different. Everything had changed. Everything seemed to be… complicated. Extremely so. Once upon a time, Padmé had believed things to be complicated before– How foolish she had been! How naïve! That time before didn't even take the cake compared to her life now. It didn't even scratch the surface. She hadn't known the true meaning of the word until she had met the man in question, until she had felt his weight on top of her… in her… had dealt with his ever changing mood swings… had come to love him…
Padmé grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower, knowing that she was probably far from being clean, but unable to stay under the hot water any longer. Her head pounded with each passing thought and she hoped that she would find some relief if she was to go to sleep, if she could fall asleep anyways.
She exited the fresher to the empty room. Vader still not returning from wherever it was he had gone, and although she felt some disappointment at being alone, another part of her mind, couldn't help but to wonder where it truly was he had set off to. She had heard Aphra say something to him about a meeting, but a meeting for what? Could it possibly be about the war? Maybe another attack? Or worse? That was yet another something she had to realize, that although she had been taken out of the front lines, that the war was still operating around her. That Vader and her were still enemies, and he very much kept her blind to the situation at hand.
She touched the overnight bag that had been left upon the bed for her upon her re-arrival. From what she had been told, it seemed that Triple-Zero had brought it to the room after it had been delivered to Vader's star destroyer before Triple-Zero went to she didn't care where in the apartment. Padmé realized that she had no good will towards the black droid with the fearsome red eyes because of the fact that he was nothing like Threepio. He wasn't kind or helpful or even remotely pleasant. And from what she could tell, the ill feeling was mutual, even though she knew that to be impossible.
Still, she couldn't help to miss the kind golden droid as she unpacked the small bag that the droid had undoubtedly packed for her. His kindness yet again went far beyond her comprehension and she truly had never seen such devotion in a droid before, except for maybe, Artoo. She couldn't help but to smile through her sadness as she looked though her things, seeing that he had packed everything with such care for her. He had outdone himself with the basic necessities and most importantly, real clothes. Thank the heavens! She frowned, however, as she touched a small bottle that was tucked in underneath her undergarments in a small pocket located on the side of the bag.
It was container filled with small blue oval shaped pills that she didn't recognize and the prescription had been written in a language that she could not read.
How odd, she thought to herself, before looking towards the doorway.
"Triple-Zero?" she asked, knowing he was near. "Triple-Zero?" she said louder, hearing the droid move towards the bedroom from wherever he was in the apartment.
His red eyes peaked through the doorway, coming to pause just outside of it. "Yes, madame?" he asked, his red eyes glowing in the darkness, making her feel eerie despite his casual tone.
"What are these?" she asked, holding out the pill container for him so that he was able to see the label. "They were in my bag."
Triple-Zero moved closer, although he kept a fair distance between them. His mechanical eyes scanned the container, calculating the response, before looking back to her. "I believe these to be your medication, madame. From your physician, Dr. Hollinger."
"Oh," she said, nearly forgetting about the prescription, before staring at the bottle. "I didn't recognize the language. What are they?"
"They are simple vitamins, madame. They are to help with regulation or deregulation of your monthly cycle, and should help with the healing of your wounds."
Padmé listened as the droid spoke and even nodded along to his words, but couldn't help to feel somewhat suddenly odd about the medication. She hadn't even realized that she was lost in thought until she saw Triple-Zero move closer to her.
"I'm sorry, what?" she stumbled, taking a small step back from him to keep the wanted space. "Did you say something?"
"I said, will there be anything else, madame? Before I return to Lord Vader's ship?"
Padmé shook her head. "No, thank you," she replied, trying to keep her voice casual as she turned back to stare at the pills. She inspected them for a long moment, before she realized that Triple Zero was still in the room. "I'm sorry," she said, coming to look upon him again as she place the pills back into her bag. "Will there be anything else?"
The droid was unusually silent, the gears in his mechanical head turning audibly as he looked between Padmé and the pills in her bag. "Are you not going to take your medication, madame?"
Padmé frowned, looking between the droid and the medicine, taking note of the unusual interest. Although, she may have been simply paranoid after her long day. "It's not that," Padmé said, trying to find the words. "It's just– It's just I haven't eaten since this morning and I would hate to take these on an empty stomach."
The reasoning was only a half lie, but had enough truth in it to keep the droid satisfied with her answer.
"Oh, of course!" the droid replied, the explication making sense within his mind as he moved to herd her out of the room. "How rude of me! Come, come!" He pushed her towards the doorway with each sway of his hands, herding Padmé out of the room like she was some sort of farm animal and into a small dining wing despite her protests.
She sat down at the table, unable to do anything but listen to the droid, who left the room and returned a few moments later with an array of dinner foods. The droid had taken the liberty to cook her a vast arrangement of meals, and although she didn't like the idea of being fed, she suddenly found herself very hungry. So, despite herself, Padmé thanked the droid for his hard work and decided to take a small bite of something, even if only to fill her empty stomach. She opted for some fruit, which reminded her of home, but lacked the same bright color and vibrant smell.
Padmé had hoped that the fresh food would held her pounding headache and at the very least fill her empty belly, but after a few bits, her stomach turned as she took a sip of her drink. The liquid was bitter, with a strange aftertaste, almost chalky… and the droid must have taken immediate notice of his dislike.
"Oh no," Tripe-Zero said, sounding concerned as he moved towards her again. "Are you ill?"
She tried to wave him off and sooth his worry, but was unable to keep from sitting in place as her stomach soured. "I don't feel so well," she announced as she rose from the table and slowly moved back towards the bedroom. "Thank you for your kindness, but I think I better get to bed."
She heard Triple-Zero reply something behind her, but she truly didn't care for what he said. She stumbled her way down the hall into Vader's bedchamber and dropped the towel onto the floor, practically crawling naked over to his bed. She had clothes laid out that Threepio had packed for her, but she opted for a pair of Vader's boxers and one of his discarded shirts instead.
The clothing was again too big for her as she slipped it on over her body, but she savored the feeling of it on her skin. And as she laid down into the giant bed, she inhaled his scent, breathing it in deep and feeling the relief it brought. Before she knew it, she began to drift off to sleep…
The forest was quiet and peaceful, the only sound being that of the birds singing in the trees and the faint rumble of a waterfall somewhere in the distance. She didn't need to wonder where she was, because the answer came as no question to her mind. She was on Naboo. She was home. Her body instantly knew the land beneath her feet and her heart swelled with joy with the familiar feeling of home within her soul.
She smiled as touched the budding branches of a nearby tree, breathing in their sweet perfume of the young flowers as she walked deeper into the thick forest. "I hope you're ready," she called out loudly, not knowing to whom she was speaking to, but unable to keep the pure joy from her voice. "Ready or not here I come."
Padmé knew it had been some time since she had played such a childish game, possibly not since her youth, or maybe during her last time visit with her young nieces, but unlike the usual immature pastime, this game felt like nothing of one of those. This game felt actually exciting ... almost erotic, in some foreign way, although she couldn't place the reason of why.
She moved through trees, moving deeper and deeper into the forest on the hunt to find… she didn't know who, but she knew that she wanted to find whoever or whatever she was looking for. Her soul beamed of brightness, of the strange essence that could only be describe as "fun." She wasn't even sure if she truly knew the meaning of the word anymore, but her soul screamed that she remembered, pulling from such happy childhood memories, and placing this feeling there beside them.
"Come out, come out," she continued to tease, peaking around each tree. "I'll reward you greatly if you let me find you."
"We don't have a blanket!" She heard a voice echo from the treetops.
She looked up, instantly knowing the voice, because it was his voice – Vader's – but it also was so foreign. So young and bright… happy, even. She had never heard his voice like that, not in reality anyways, but it was almost like that was how his voice was supposed to sound– like she had heard it a million times.
She looked up into the treetops, to where she was sure his voice had resonated from, but had to shield her eyes from the bright sun peeking through the limbs of the trees, making her close her eyes and shy away, and worst of all, making the placing of his hiding spot almost impossible. She heard the treetops shift from his weight, another tree crack, as the leaves fell to the ground as he moved locations. She tried to catch him between jumps, but again, he moved too fast for her to pinpoint him.
"It isn't fair to use such abilities," she talked to the trees, looking up in direction she was sure he was hidden. "Not when we both don't hold such a talent."
"I assure you," his voice echoed back from somewhere behind her, laced with pure amusement. "You have far superior talents."
Padmé giggled, turning and walking towards his voice, pushing away her small amount of annoyance at being fooled by his games and focusing on her hunt. "Then I suppose I shall put them to use…" She smiled, pulling the pin from her hair and tossing it behind her. She heard the pin clatter to the forest floor, but could have cared less if she found it again. Her hair fell down to her shoulders and she shook her head to make sure that it all fell free.
Next, her fingers moved to her cloak where she undid the lace near the top of her neck, pulling the garment off and tossing it onto a fallen tree beside her. She reached down to her boots, pulling each on off and tossing them to a place beside her cloak. When she was sure she felt his eyes on her, she pulled down her stockings and kicked them off slowly, hoping that it would do the trick… but still he did not appear.
She turned to the trees, now only in her dress, not hearing any movement from above. "Still hiding? "she teased to the treetops, looking around before settling back on her body. "Pity… I was hoping that you might help me…"
She smiled as her fingers moved towards the front of her dress, knowing exactly how to cox him out of his hiding place. The light yellow garment was stylish and she knew one of his favorites. It was tight around her body and hugged every curve, especially around her breasts. It was so tight, in fact, that she wasn't able to wear a bra underneath. The front of the dress was held together by tight laces that fastened across her chest down to a point past her navel, which would allow for some exotic exchanges if she could only find her lover…
She pulled the first string, feeling the garment loosen, a small part of her skin visible, just about to untie the first crisscross when an invisible force grabbed ahold of her hands. She smiled, despite herself, and looked up to where Vader now stood before… but it wasn't Vader. He was too bright– too young to be her Vader. His hair was shorter than she knew it, his face no longer plagued with such darkness and torment. The large smile on his face was contagious, brighter than she had ever seen and his eyes were filled with such youthful playfulness.
"A terrible plan of attack to lure the enemy out of their hiding place," he said, not letting her go through the Force as he took a step forward. His gloved hand brushed against her chest down to her hip, sending shivers down her spine and into her core. "You've left yourself defenseless."
Part of her hoped that he would take advantage of the situation, but he was ever the gentlemen, waiting for her to make the first move. "I don't think so." She smiled, struggling for a moment before he allowed her to move again. When she was free of his invisible grip, she threw her arms around his neck to bring him closer, placing a small peck on his jaw before whispering, "I win."
His smile lessened at that, but she could tell that he was still happy – he was just still prideful, if anything else. "Oh no, you don't," he argued, his arms fastening around her waist and pulling her in tighter. "I captured you."
Padmé shook her head, her smile growing as her grip tightened around him. "The point of the game is to find. I found you."
He laughed at this, even rolling his eyes, and he gave in far quicker than Padmé had expected. "Leave it to you to beat me on a technicality." He let her go and packed away, earning a small pout from Padmé that made him laugh harder, before he face grew serious. He threw his hands out as if defenseless, even though they both knew he was anything but. "Well milady, as your prisoner of war, what are you going to do to me?"
Padmé pretended to think for a long moment, even tapping her finger against her head until she decided. "Hmm. I have some ideas." Padmé grinned as she closed the space between them. "But you're far too dressed for any of them. Strip."
Padmé was surprised at her own words, but this Vader seemed to take her command well. His smile still in place as he shook his head. "Sorry, milady… but as your prisoner…" He put his wrists together as if they had been cuffed, giving her his best innocent pout and even wiggling his eyebrows at her.
She couldn't help but to laugh again as she walked towards him. Her giggles making Vader laugh too and before she could even think about stripping him of his clothes, their mouths found each other. But it was different as their lips met– these kisses weren't hot and heavy– they weren't filled with need– they were filled with something else– fun, laughter, and…
Could it truly be?
She pulled his cloak off his shoulder and threw it on the ground, pushing Vader backwards. He cradled her as they dropped onto the makeshift blanket, making sure that they fell to the ground gracefully. They stayed there for a few moments, simply in this blissful bubble of giggles and laughs and… love.
Yes, love. She felt it, so purely and intensely. It was love. True love.
Ever so slowly, he twisted them and laid Padmé on her back as he hovered over her, peppering her cheeks with sweet kisses as she continue to giggle. His kisses got harder and wetter as he found her neck, his lips pressing harder against her skin before sucking on her pulse. While he continued to attack her with his kisses his hands found their way to the front of her dress, making quick work of the laces, untying them from her chest down to her navel.
When he was finished with his work, he pulled the garment open to reveal her breasts, her nipples turning hard as they met the cool open air. One of his hands immediately gripped her bosom, giving small kneads to her area as his fingers played with the nipple.
Padmé's breath began to deepen as a warmness began to seep down towards her core. Soft moans escaping her lips as his fingers continued to play with her chest. Vader pulled away, but only for a moment. He settled into a spot beside her, his hand never leaving her breasts and his hips brushing against her side as he laid down beside her. She felt his hardness press into her hip, and her fingers unable to help but to immediately fall against the area, giving small cresses to the rock solid member beneath.
His lips went to her breast then, his teeth snatching onto a nipple as Padmé let out a louder moan. For a moment both his hands and mouth stayed there, attacking her breasts with their love, squeezing, kneading, licking, and sucking all for her pleasure. His hot breath mixed with the coldness of the air and the sweat that was beginning to drip down her skin, her nipples feeling as though his touch was suddenly electric. She was unable to stop her hips from buckling with need, her sensitive nipple arching into his mouth as her body was overloaded with need.
He breathed out a laugh as she squirmed against him. "So greedy," he teased as his right hand pulled away and found the hem of her dress.
"Please" she whispered, but he didn't respond with words. His lips found their way back to her breasts as his other hand pulled her dress to a place above her hips. He settled it there, before his fingers coxed over her inner thigh and settled on the lips between her legs.
He gasped when he realized that she didn't have on any panties, his fingers immediately being graced by her wetness. Padmé couldn't help but laugh at his surprise, truly amused, but the surprise had sent him over the end. Whatever will power Vader had simply evaporated when he touched the place between her legs and sent into him into a blaze. Before she knew it, Vader was wild. His lips moved over her chest hungrily and Padmé nearly screamed as his finger plummeted into her, sifting in and out of her in with great speed.
She placed her hands on each side of his face as he continued to shift his fingers between her legs. Trying to hold in her pants as she looked into his eyes. "I love you," she whispered to him between her gasps, knowing that she truly meant it. "I love you so much…"
Before he could respond, Padmé acted quickly, before she erupted with need. She was nearly on the edge of exploding when she pushed back against him, not even realizing her own actions until after she had done them. She had taken him off guard, knocking his weight to the one side and Vader onto the ground. The both laughed with delight and amusement as she moved to mount him. With Vader on his back, Padmé made easy work of his pants, allowing his member to spring free into glorious sight.
She crawled up his length and straddled over him, wasting no time as she lowered herself on to his stiffened member. They both gasped as he entered her, Vader's head falling back into the ground as Padmé took on the bulk of the work on top of him. She moved above him, her naked breasts bouncing up and down with each movement, Vader's hand grinding into her hips, and her yellow dress buckling above her waist as the came together.
Both of their moans filled the open air and the lustful sounds of their bodies coming together echoed throughout the woods. Padmé gripped onto Vader's hips, holding herself steady from behind to continue her dance on top of him. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. A sweet and delectable rhythm that filled her with each trust.
She was so close as they continued to move and Vader knew it. One of his hands released her hip and moved to the curls of her core, playing with the most sensitive bud there and pushing her over the edge as he filled her. She felt the warmness building… filling her soul… about to combust… and then… just when she was sure she was about to explode… it stopped.
Her pleasure stopped building and suddenly it all went cold… Her lover shifted beneath her fingers as she continued her rhythm with her body, trying to chase the wave of ecstasy that she had been denied, but a realization that something was changing.
"Vader?" she wondered aloud, the pleasantness of the dream fading away. The forest even seeming to become darker. Padmé became suddenly aware of the fantasy around her, but what before felt like heaven… almost a memory… now felt like a nightmare. Why?
She didn't know, but even so, Padmé was unable to stop herself as she moved up and down on Vader's cock. She continued to pound against him, although the pleasure had left. She tried to concentrate on anything. She tried to bring it back. She tried to have her release. She closed her eyes and focused on the way his member seemed to fill her body, the way her bottom met his skin, or the way her breasts bounced on her chest with the sway of their bodies… but her pleasure never returned.
A shadow moved over her, only processed by the absence of light, her skin prickly as if being watched. She felt eyes burning into her– although the feeling sent a chill to her soul. She felt the gaze move across her naked body, watching and enjoying the sight to be seen. She opened her eyes and realized with horror that Vader and her were no longer alone in the forest as she met a pair of old, vile yellow eyes, watching them.
Palpatine stood before them, just a few steps away from Vader's head, towering over them and watching as they came together.
Padmé screamed, jumping backwards and covering her breasts. Only– to her horror– she was now completely naked. She looked around for her clothes, but there was nothing around her now. The forest had faded. She looked to Vader, but he had moved as well, suddenly beside Palpatine's side like the loyal solider she'd seen him be so many times. So dark. So hateful. Like the Darth Vader she had known before.
She was alone and revealed completely before the two men. She tried to run, but found her legs frozen. She covered her body as best she could, but found she could find no decency. It was like she was being presented before them, like a prize. Like a slave. Like a bitch.
She could feel Palpatine's vile gaze upon her, practically consuming her body. She felt his eyes move across her chest, her stomach, before settling on her most sacred core. "Hmmm," his vile voice echoed with amusement, walking towards her, his white finger reaching out and touching the skin just below her breast and making her skin crawl. "I can see why you enjoy her, Lord Vader," Palpatine said, licking his cracked lips as his eyes moved across her again. "Her body is so young, so mint."
Again, Padmé tried to move away, but found her body unable to move. She was forced to stare at Palpatine as he took a step closer to each other, both frowning at one another with mutual hatred, before Palpatine broke the tension with another one of his laughs.
"I shall enjoy this," he said, stepping back only slightly and looking at her as though he was watching a holo-film. "You may continue, Lord Vader."
The command came as more of a surprise– of a shock that Palpatine's appearance and Padmé almost couldn't believe her ears. "What?" she said, her eyes widening in disbelief, as she looked for the vile man to her lover just behind him.
But this wasn't her lover. This wasn't her Vader. This was someone else entirely… This was Darth Vader and she found no mercy in his eyes. She found no familiarity or comfort.
"Yes, master," his dark voice replied, and he stalked towards her as if she was no more than a simple quarry.
Still, she couldn't help herself to try to reach him, to grasp at something that she could not see. "Vader," she pleaded, watching as he removed his cock from his pants, ready, even though she was not. "Vader, no," she begged, but he continued towards her without a bit of remorse. She couldn't move as he backed her towards a tree… the rough bark pit at her bottom and the branches scratched at her spine. She couldn't do anything as he lifted her legs around him, her body revealed indecently to her true most hated of enemy as Palpatine watched… She tried to close her eyes, but found that darkness was impossible. She could only see what was before her. Vader readied himself to enter her, but he didn't tease her now. He didn't kiss her or hold her. He simply entered her, and it hurt… badly. She screamed as he entered, not ready and not willing.
Her tear-filled eyes met Palpatine's, watching in horror as the man continued to watch them, as though this was nothing but a simple film. He even laughed as she cried, commanding his apprentice to make sure that she felt the hurt. Vader grabbed ahold of her leg pushing himself deeper into her and Padmé closed her eyes, unable to watch, but forced to live through the ordeal. She could not escape it… but she could make sense of it.
This is a dream, Padmé realized between each one of his hard thrusts. This is a dream. A nightmare. This wasn't Vader. Vader would never do this. Not to her. This wasn't happening. It wasn't true.
Vader picked up his pace, slamming his cock deep into her, and Padmé was ashamed to realize her body was finding some relief in his movements. She found her body responding to him against her wishes. She tried to hold in her pants, her moans, too embarrassed and ashamed to release them, but she found herself unable. She moaned aloud, her hands digging into Vader's arms and Palpatine laughed as she struggled, as the sweat began to pull above her brow as her breasts began to flop against her chest. Vader's mechanical hand held painfully onto her bottom, forcing it roughly to an angle that kept her on display for his master and Palpatine took full advantage of the view.
Ashe could hear the sinful slap of their bodies as they came together, the sound now echoing throughout the forest for them all to hear, and Padmé couldn't help but to moan loudly as her need for release built. She could help the way her body responded, but she was sickened and embarrassed by it.
"Yes, yes, that's it, that's it," Palpatine laughed, even clapping his hands as he moved closer. "She despises it." Her pain and embarrassment made Palpatine smile and she was forced to meet his eye as she buckled against Vader's hips. She flinched as Palpatine's hand reached out and touched her belly, despite her protests. Palpatine never hesitating even when he felt the movement of his apprentice just a few inches away, right inside where he was touching. Palpatine frowned at her, her eyes wide, before he smiled and looked to Vader. "Now. Fill her. Fill her with your seed."
Padmé closed her eyes, unable to look any longer and finally able to find an escape. She refused to acknowledge what was happening. She tried to make herself wake up, but no matter how hard she tried, she stayed asleep and stuck within her nightmare. When she opened her eyes again, the scene had changed. She was back in that Force-forsaken alley with the black-haired man that had plagued her dream standing before her with his dick in his hand, getting ready to enter her. She was bare against the wall. Naked before her, her arms and legs both spread wide so that she was unable to stop him. She tried to fight, but was unable. She closed her eyes when an eerie laugh echoed through her soul. She opened her eyes and Palpatine again stood before her, taking the place of the black-haired man as he readied himself to enter her.
"No," Padmé screamed trying to move away, but finding only the wall. "No! No! Stop!"
Palpatine only laughed. He moved closer and she felt the tip of him hovering over her, about to enter…
"Senator!" Vader's voice boomed, and she felt the pressure leave her body as Palpatine was pulled away by a large hand. "Senator, wake up!"
Padmé bolted awake, covered in sweat. She looked around the bedroom in pure bewilderment, her heart racing fast until her eyes settled on the spot where Vader sat beside her. A strand of clarity made it through her haze of her fear and confusion as she realized she was in his apartment on Felucia. She was back. She was safe. She was awake.
Before she even knew what she was doing, mixed with the haze of the nightmare, the overwhelming fear, and most of all the relief, Padmé flung herself at him. She crawled onto his lap, immediately placing her face against his chest as tears sprang to her eyes. She cried into his chest, unable to stop. Completely ballistic and inconsolable. She held onto him tightly as if he would disappear like in her dream and be replaced by a monster. And part of her feared that he would reject her, that the moments they had spent together had meant nothing, and he would push her away… but Vader's arms wrapped around her, holding her tighter to his chest, cradling her, even stroking her hair and her back as she wept, even cooing her softly.
"Shhh… Senator," he whispered softly into her hair, placing a soft kiss on her temple as he held her tighter. "Shhh… It was only a nightmare. You're alright."
She shook her head against his chest, refusing to meet his eyes as her tears seeped into his shirt. "I–It w–was terrible," she wailed into his chest, trying to push away the nightmare that was becoming a harsh memory. "Why would I dream such vile things?!"
"We can't control our dreams, Senator."
For a long moment, silence embraced the pair. Padmé simply crying into Vader's chest as Vader held her tightly against him, even rocking her softly. He said nothing as she fought to control herself and her emotions, and for that, Padmé was grateful. She breathed in the scent of him, the sweet aroma filling her nose, and helping bring her relief. After a few minutes, she was able to control her emotions, but she refused to leave Vader's lap, holding onto him tightly as she looked out towards the calmness of the night sky.
"Would you ever do what that man at the bar did to me?" she asked, unable to help herself from speaking it aloud as she tried to rid her mind of such ill memories.
Vader was quiet for a long moment, his breath deepening. "I've done… very terrible things in my life." He eventually said, his voice unusually soft and low– as if his usual octave may even scare her. "I would like to think I would not do them to you."
Padmé nodded ever so slightly against his chest, unable to meet his eyes again. She hadn't missed the way that he hadn't actually said no, but she knew that it was never that simple when it came to him. She would accept that he hadn't outwardly confirmed that he would, which meant he was at least hesitant.
"Where were you?" she decided to ask instead, for the simple fact of chasing away whatever bits of the dream lingered in her memory.
"I had business that required my attention," he answered simply, his answer lacking the usual details, just as she had expected. "I just returned for some things. I have to return to make my presence known around the base."
She tried to push away the thought of him leaving again. A small lingering fear bubbling to the front of her mind that her Vader may never return.
"Did you see my dream?" she wondered, more to herself than to him, suddenly feeling ashamed for thinking such things about him. Afterall, Vader may be a murderer, but he wasn't a rapist. And she'd like to give him the benefit that he never was or would become one.
"No, but I got the idea," he answered, although he seemed disconnected, holding her tightly in his arms and speaking to the room instead of directly to her. "That man is dead. He cannot hurt you anymore. And Sidious wouldn't dare…"
His words were meant to be comforting, she knew that they were supposed to be, but at his words, more tears swelled in her eyes, realizing that he truly didn't understand. But how could he? How could Vader possibly understand when truly she didn't even understand, either? How could she possibility begin to explain what she dreamed? How could she possibly explain what she wanted? How could she tell him that her life was falling apart and she had nothing to show for it? That she had fallen in love with a man, that would never love her and would never be capable of accepting her love? How could she tell him how she felt about him? How confused she was? How hurt? How could she tell him all these things? How could either of them comprehend? What could they even do?
She was scared and disgusted by her dream, yes. It frightened her, more than she could even put into words. It had been a nightmare more frightening than all of her bad dreams of her childhood combined and she found that she wanted to bury it in some distant corner of her memory and forget about it forever. But another part of her wanted to hold it tight, because above all, as ridiculous as it sounded, she had seen the man that she wanted in that dream. She had seen Vader as the man he could be, before the darkness had interrupted their lovemaking. Cause that's what that had been, lovemaking. She had felt their love so intensely– his love, and more than anything she wanted to feel that for real. She wanted him to love her– to protect her– galaxy be damned…
Vader pulled away from her then, possibly sensing her confusion, and began to place her on the bed beside him. "Come now, you need your rest…" he said, releasing her and pulling away. She didn't allow him to leave though. She held onto his cloak with white knuckles, not letting him get far.
"Stay," she whispered to him, and it wasn't a plead, or a cry… it was a demand. She didn't just want him to stay… She needed him to stay.
"Senator," he said, his voice still soft, but nevertheless dismissing her. "I have duties to–"
"Stay," she said again, a little more bolder this time, his duties be damned, meeting his eyes and tightening her grip on his cloak. They both knew if he truly wanted to break free that he could, but Vader simply waited, for her to let go or back down, she wasn't sure, though it never happened. She wasn't going to get him go.
Please, Padmé prayed a silent plea, willing him to stay with her and it was only after a moment, that the Sith sighed and gave in to her demand. He slipped off his cloak, all the while Padmé was sure to keep a hand on him so they he wouldn't disappear before he got back down on the bed beside her.
He laid down next to her as she requested, his arms wrapping around her and never letting her go. She breathed in his scent as he moved into a spot in front of her and pulled her in tight, bringing her face to his chest. She felt so protected in his strong arms. His chest so solid and the steady beat of his heart like a sweet lullaby. She felt his flesh hand, suddenly without a glove, continue to stroke her head, even gliding down her back on occasion in some sort attempt to calm her. She wondered briefly how a man with no basic knowledge of human compassion or kindness would know that this was a form of comfort, but the thought really couldn't be followed through cause all Padmé cared about was finding peace with him.
He felt so soft like this– so… unlike Vader. She pushed away from him, only slightly, just enough to meet his eyes. He met her eyes without hesitation, looking down at her as the light gold of his irises shimmered in the moonlight– almost not gold at all– almost pure yellow, usually light, but that wasn't the only thing odd about his eyes, As usual harness of his eyes was absent as well, instead, they were soft and unusually careful, moving slowly and calculated across her. As if any harsh movement of his might set her off and she would break into a million pieces.
Again, Padmé found herself in a muddled mess, speechless by his concern… but his concern only made it worse, because it wasn't love. She was upset about what she had dreamed about, but above most of all, she was upset about the love she felt in that dream– the love he had given her. It was the love she knew she would never receive in real life. The love her Vader was incapable of. Yes, he was capable of want, even need, concern, and even worry… but above everything else, she wanted the love that she had imagined in her dream. She wanted Vader to love her spiritually as well as physically. She knew that he was capable of it, in some way, even if it was in her own mind. She knew that if they made love– if they truly made love – than he could chase the nightmare away.
And so, without thinking, Padmé moved closer to him, extending her next up to his height and softly placing her lips upon his, despite the tears that fell from her eyes.
"Senator," he warned, his head turning away although his body stayed still, but the tears seeming to sway his usual harshness.
"Please," she whispered, not caring if she sounded broken. She needed this. She needed him. "Please."
Vader didn't respond, but she knew that also meant that he didn't refuse her. So Padmé kissed him again, a little harder this time but not at all needy. She wanted him to feel her emotions. She wanted him to feel her confusion, her hurt, her fear, her pain, but most of all… her love. She poured all of her emotions into that kiss, hoping that somehow, in some way, he could feel what she was trying to tell him.
She wasn't sure if the message made it through, but she continued to try. Although, Vader seemed hesitant, not very much responding to her kiss, but nevertheless accepting it. When she wasn't sure if Vader was going to respond she pulled away, feeling meek and small, as her tears continued to fill eyes and she looked up at the powerful man in question. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, Vader searching deeply in her eyes for something, before she kissed him again and this time, Vader gently accepted her affection.
Vader responded to her kiss and kissed her back ever so softly. Their lips never separated as Vader gently rolled on top of her and lean her back into the pillow. They simply kissed for what felt like forever. So softly, yet so tenderly. It was not hungry, or needy, or hard, or rushed… It was simple, pure affection. Her hands traveled around to his shoulders, settling on his back and slipping under the shirt. She heaved at the fabric, trying to remove it, but failing miserably. Vader chuckled at her attempt, pulling away and removing his shirt, slipping it over his head and tossing it over his shoulder onto the floor. He grabbed the bottom of her shirt and she lifted her hands for him as he slowly pulled it over her head.
She was naked underneath, as was he, but he didn't attack her naked breast as he usually did when she was exposed. Instead, he simply sat back on his knees, almost inspecting her. He didn't look at her body though, it was almost as if he could have cared less, his eyes only staying on her's. She met his gaze without fear, as she could see that there was confusion behind his gaze and he was still looking for the solution within her own. She smiled, almost sadly, cause she knew that he still didn't understand and part of her knew that he may never will, but she wanted to try…
Reaching forward slowly, she placed her hands on his defined abs, feeling the heat pouring off his skin into her chilled fingers. Her hands glided over his taunt muscles for a long moment, feeling the rivet of each one of his scars and the way his muscles moved with each one of his breaths. He was so perfect, despite the flaws and imperfections to his skin. It was almost a crime that someone had done this to his body. It was a crime that he was hidden from all the worlds.
More tears filled her eyes before she could stop herself, another feeling welling in her chest as she touched each one of his scars. The thought of him as a small boy, earning each one of these lashes because of some form of cruel treatment done by Palpatine or one of his stooges. Vader, again seemed confused, but leaned forward kissing her cheeks, and in the process, kissing each tear away. In truth, it only made Padmé cry harder cause Vader couldn't understand his own pain– his own torture, and it was all Palpatine's fault.
She could see it now when they were like this. When they were alone and away from the galaxy, just how gentle of a soul lived within the belly of the beast. She could see the good person that was hidden behind the shroud of the darkness. Vader was a man who was fiery and passionate, but nevertheless, good. Or at least, he could have been… if fate had been kinder to him.
Vader continued to kiss her, as her own lips found his skin and she found herself kissing each one of his scars, her hands gently massaging over the stiffened muscles of his back. He cradled her as she moved, as if he feared she would again break into a million pieces, sensing each of her moves and moving with her. She was tougher than he believed, but for now, Padmé accepted his support. She needed it, and she basked in the feeling of his pure affection. He was so gentle with her. So kind. So caring. She wasn't sure if this was love, but it was the closest thing to it since their relationship had begun… And Padmé wanted so much more of this man that was taking care of her.
So she pulled his lips back to her, once again, pouring her emotions into the kiss and hoping this time he would understand. She wasn't sure if he did, but this time, Vader kissed her back with the same passion. The kiss was long, hard, and passionate. Both of their breathes becoming deep and heavy as their tongue began to duel. She pulled him in closer, knowing that he would never be close enough. Vader was lost then, drawn in by her passion. His lips pulled away from her, beginning their attack, this kisses moved across her cheeks, to her neck, down her chest, before settling on her naked breasts. His lips, tongue, and teeth attacked her nipples while his hand latched onto a breast and the other slipped beneath the waist line of her boxers. His hand settled between the curls there, rubbing over her most sensitive area until Padmé felt the heat within her body grow. She could hardly move as his hand continue to attack her, her small moans filling the empty bedroom and earning Vader's opposite hand over her mouth. His teeth continued to pull and tease at her nipples, until she could barely take it.
Her hands weaved around his long locks and pulled him back to her lips, where they met again with the same passion. Without moving away, she slipped her hands around the edges of his pants and pushed them back with his boxers in one swoop. Vader kicked them off the rest of the way without looking as he quickly did the same with her boxers, leaving them both completely bare. They continued to kiss then, their naked bodies meeting each other without any further barriers. It felt so good to be bare against him, to feel such heat and passion without an interference.
Even though his passion, his hands were still so gentle– so different than they usually were, still taking such care of her. His hands continue to explore her body, but soon the temptation of being so near became too great and his need took over. He entered her without warning, but Padmé found that she hardly cared, about to burst from need herself. She wrapped her legs around Vader, drawing him closer, as close as he could get. He leaned down to her as he rocked in and out of her, kissing her throughout his thrusts. She moaned into his mouth, her hands holding onto his long locks, pulling him closer.
After a long moment, Vader's head settled on her shoulder as he rocked in and out of her, trying to keep a slower pace. She burned with the new rhythm wanting more, but enjoying the deepness of each of this trusts. She felt so full when he was inside of her– so complete and she wanted this feeling to last forever. She wrapped her arms around him then, pulling him in tight and basking in the sweat that was coming off their bodies.
"I love you," she whispered into his ear, unable to stop herself from speaking the truth. She needed to tell him, consequences be damned. She loved him and she didn't care. She loved him despite everything and at the very least she wanted him to know even if they would never be able to be together, she wanted in this moment , while they were away from the war, and fighting, and politics, and everyone in the galaxy… she wanted him to know that she loved him.
Vader stopped mid-thrust, frozen for a long moment before pulling away. He didn't pull out of her though, or even move to separate them, but moved just far enough away so that he could gaze down into her eyes. His hair was wild, crunched to his face with sweat, his skin gleamed from the light glowing through the windows, and his eyes shined with… curiosity? For once, surprisingly, Vader didn't look mad at her sudden spoken revelation. He just look astonished, confused, intrigued? She really couldn't tell what the look on his face was… but she found that she didn't care as long as he didn't leave. She already knew that he would never say it back, but she hoped that he would at least accept it, for what it was worth. She couldn't tell if he did though, his eyes simply continuing to inspect her, almost devour her soul with their quest to find… something within her eyes… within her soul?
Suddenly, before she could try to say anything else, Vader kissed her. Hard. His lips slammed down against her, practically devouring her. His body slammed into her with a new passion and pressure she didn't know existed. He pushed her leg upwards over his shoulder so that he could move deeper into her core and Padmé found herself screaming with pleasure. His hand steadied himself on the bed, beside the pillow, while the other stayed looped around her leg as he continued his attack. He pounded into her with no mercy and Padmé found herself filled with such pleasure that she couldn't open her eyes. Her body began to explode and before she knew what she was doing, she gripped into Vader's flesh hand beside her, their fingers linking together as they both found their release. She squeezed onto his hand as she found her way into sweet oblivion, immediately too tired to open her eyes… gently falling sleep with the comforting weight of him on her chest and her hand in his… hoping that their lovemaking would chase all her nightmares away….
If only it was that simple…
The scene began to twist, becoming darker and yet brighter in some sense, but nevertheless hideous. Padmé was suddenly alone on a burning planet. The heat was nearly unbearable, like she had been thrown into the middle of a sweltering flame. The fumes of the planet bit at her lungs, burning her throat with each breath until she thought she may suffocate Loud booms echoed in the distance as the volcanoes erupted into the sky, pressure building into the bright volcanic eruption.
The toxic wind slashed against her face, causing her eyes to water with such harsh fumes.
She looked out at the never-ending horizon of mountains and burning rivers that seemed to carry on for miles. A bad feeling settled in the bit of her stomach, a familiarity of this place begging to bed remembered. But what? When? Where?
Then Padmé remembered, like a kick to the gut or a slap to the face. Like this place had been screaming at her to wake up, like she had done so before. Like this place wanted her to see it, to be remembered like before. She could remember now… She had seen this place before… in a dream. Vader's dream…
It was then that Padmé understood that this was no longer her dream, but that of Vader's. This was his nightmare. She remembered now. She remembered the first time she had seen this terrible place. That she had smelled the sulfur, tasted the smoldering ash… watched as…
No…
The platform below her feet shook and she stumbled, unable to keep her balance. It was hot. She couldn't breathe, but a distant movement caught her attention and she forced herself to move towards it. She stumbled towards the edge of the river and she saw Vader run across the opposite platform. The lava was close... too close, but Vader didn't see the danger.
"Vader!" she screamed over the raining fire. "Be careful!"
But he could not hear her. He could not see her. It was like she was a ghost, forced to watch the scene without being able to do anything about it.
Vader's face was twisted and filled with hate. His eyes set on a target that was in front of him. Vader was chasing after a man, obviously on the hunt, but the smoke stayed around the opponent's face, making him unable to identify. The two were locked in a deadly duel, Vader's red lightsaber against another's blue. Both masters with their weapons. Skilled and deadly.
The lava spewed like falling rain, a burning downpour and both men took cover on opposite sides of the platform's wall. Vader, however, was less concerned for his own safety than his opponent and walked out through the falling ash before it was over. The burning rain torched his tunic, leaving small burns across his skin, but the Sith didn't even flinching.
Vader ran towards the man as the man fled in the other direction. Padmé ran after them across the platform, trying to follow… but she could not follow as their fight made its way closer to the crimson river.
Vader fought with all his might, but something was wrong. She could see if in his movements... Like something was happening. She could see in his eyes. He was angry… but beneath it all… he was scared. She could see the fear burning deep within his eyes, covered in his misplaced passion and pride and arrogance.
She watched helplessly as ever so slowly, Vader's opponent gained the upper hand, but Vader refused to yield. He continued to fight on, despite a foul darkness that seemed to be overtaking him, a great something stealing whatever light that still lingered within. He looked tired, and angry, and… broken. Vader's opponent jumped onto the bank of the burning river, but moved at the last second just as Vader tried to flee from behind him… Only, Vader had miscalculated his jump…
"Vader!" she screamed, but her words fell on deaf ears. He still could not hear her. He could not counter. He could not defend. He could only fail.
Padmé screamed in agony as she watched the blue saber slash her lover and was forced to watch helplessly as he fell to pieces along the river's embankment. He screamed out in the same agony, his limbs now gone and the fear plastered across his face.
Vader screamed in hate at the other person before him, but then she saw it… some within his eyes that pleaded for mercy. "Help me…" his lips moved, but the words didn't form out of his mouth. He reached towards the man, for anything to keep him at the upper level of the angled ground, but began to slip down the embankment.
Padmé ran towards him, her own safety be damned, but no matter how far or fast she ran, she could not reach him.
She watched helplessly as the flames engulfed him and his screams of pure agony echoed throughout the entire planet, and even louder into her now broken heart. Finally, she ran down the bank towards him, but the opposing man stood in her way. The man who had harmed her love– the one who had murdered him– the one who had kept her from saving him!
"How could you!?" she screamed, her firsts pummeling into the man's back as hot tears began to burn her eyes. "How could you do that to him!?"
The man turned to her, looking just as broken as she felt and she gasped as the familiar blue eyes looked upon her. It was a familiar face. The face of a friend.
"Obi-Wan?"
But suddenly, Obi-Wan was gone and the cries of Vader's pain was the only thing that remained. Her heart and mind instantly leaped to him, all else forgotten, looking down the hill to where he laid in the rubble.
"Vader!" she screamed, but her legs refused to move from their spot on the black sand. A darkness moving over Vader and Padmé forced to simply watch.
"That's the man you love" Aphra's voice echoed…
"Save him…" a voice begged…
"You can't…" whispered another…
"You aren't enough…"
A monster rose from the darkness, the ash forming into something dark and sinister. A giant stood in Vader's place. It wheezed like a mechanical demon. It stalked closer to her…
She gasped as it came close, until Padmé felt it… Her fear of the creature immediately evaporating and turning far colder; a realization shattering through her soul as she looked up into the cold, skull-like mask.
"Vader?" she whispered, horrified at the realization.
She fell before him, suddenly pressure tight on her throat. Had the poisonous gases finally gotten to her? Had she been out in the toxic air for too long? The pain ruptured through her body, her blood boiling, her lungs burning… her throat clasping until… She saw him standing before her, his hand stretched out… his fingers clenching ever so slightly…
He was killing her…
A deep breath rattled through her core….
Padmé awoke, again for the second night sitting up in a panic until she realized she was back in the bedroom. For a moment, she believed that the whole night could have possibly been a bad dream, until she remembered their sweet lovemaking that was still electrifying her skin. Despite the horridness of the nightmare, she still felt on a high– she still felt at peace… but she couldn't deny that something didn't feel right. The dream of the burning planet wasn't unlike her other dream that she had had… but it did feel different. She remembered that she truly had seen it before, and she knew now, that she needed to speak to Vader about it and this time, she wouldn't take no for an answer.
She turned to him in their bed, remembering that she had fallen asleep with him beside her – or truly on top of her, but he was gone. She was alone beneath the covers, but she could tell that Vader had been in the bed. Very recently, in fact. She looked around in the dim light of the room, spotting him just outside the chambers where he stood on the balcony, looking out.
She pushed herself out of the bed, wrapping her naked body with the sheet, before slowly making her way to his side. He didn't acknowledge her as she approached, his eyes remaining on the horizon of the jungle, and yet, seeming so far away.
"What's bothering you?" she asked, hoping that she would be able to help him, but feeling a shot of coldness in return. It hurt deeper than usual, especially after the warmness of their lovemaking…
"Go back to sleep, Senator," he said, quite dismissing, but she only moved closer.
"Tell me," she pleaded, needing him to tell her– wanting him to trust her– to have him be forthcoming with her and to allow her in. "Was it the nightmare?" she pressed, almost completely at his side now. "Your dream?"
He remained silent, still seeming very much far away, despite standing next to her. His eyes which had seemed so soft mere hours ago, now seemed so cold and tormented. They were bright gold now, the color of the Sith, of the Dark Side, compared to the lighter color they had been. His face held the same grief that seemed to age him far more decades than he truly was, adding lines to his beautiful face that shouldn't have been present. There was a heaviness on his shoulders too, that seemed to be weighing him down, his naked chest covered with sweat.
"It was only a dream." She reach out her hand, touching his shoulder which seemed to be blistering hot beneath the cloak that covered his naked chest. Vader flinched beneath her finger tips, pulling away, although she could tell he tried to play off the reaction as a simple chill. She knew that it wasn't though and it hurt. A lot, especially after what they had just shared together. "You helped me with my nightmare," she whispered, trying to hide her hurt. "Why won't you let me help you with yours?"
Vader was yet again silent and Padmé hated the way he seemed to ruin their progress, every single time. "How long is it going to take until we are honest with one another?" she asked out of frustration, truly feeling as though the ship that they had just mended was failing once again. "Talk to me," she begged, gripping onto his sleeve. "I'm here for you."
At her touch, Vader's head turned to look at her, his eyes cool and calculated, angry even before he looked back to the sky. He didn't seem as distant though now, his eyes seeming to now inspect the stars instead of traveling far beyond them. "Since I was a boy, I dreamed of seeing the stars. I guess I got my wish," he chuckled sadly– almost sarcastically, and pulled his sleeve out of her grip, walking to the far edge of the balcony away from her. "Funny how life works."
"Vader," she pleaded, wanting to understand, taking a step towards him, but he waved her off.
"You know what else I dreamed about when I was a boy, Senator?" he asked, now truly disgusted. "About death. About burning and becoming a monster." Vader growled, kicking out his foot and breaking a large vase in the corner. Padmé winced as the shards of glass went flying, but Vader hardly flinched, again his eyes moving to the stars before settling on the pieces of broken glass at his feet. "But I already am a monster, aren't I?" he wondered, almost to himself, sounding unlike himself again. "This will just finish the job the way he likes."
Padmé stepped towards him them, but she flinched back just as quick with a yelp, a piece of the broken glass going into her foot. Vader was at her side in a second, his arms wrapping around her, and cradling her as he moved her to a safe spot into the room.
"I'm fine," she promised him, knowing that she could not allow him an out of the conversation at hand. "I just want to understand, Vader. Please let me understand."
Vader set her down on the edge of the bed, kneeling down and inspecting her foot for a small moment before he pulled at the small shard. She winced at the pain and he applied a small amount of pressure to the wound. There really wasn't that much blood, but Vader ripped a piece of the sheet from the bed and tied it around her foot, before he stood and looked at her again.
"It wasn't just a dream," he said after a moment, his eyes still tormented, but never the less softer. "It was a vision."
"A vision?" Padmé wondered aloud. "You mean… of the future?"
Vader nodded his head, meeting her gaze with harsh seriousness.
Suddenly, another fear grew in her belly as she understood his words and the weight behind them. The future? Her mind spun with the image of the hot planet, the vision replaying itself before her eyes until she watched his body fall to pieces and the rest of him burn within the ashes. This was Vader's future? This is what waited him? As she imaged the flames again, another fire rose in her own belly, but not one of passion… only of anger and sickness. This is what Palpatine had wanted of Vader? This was his plan? What a evil man!
She felt as though the tears may come back into her eyes, her heart racing, and her mind unable to make sense. "Okay, okay," she said, trying to calm herself and piece her words together, looking back from the ground to meet his eyes. "What– what are you going to do?"
For the first time, his eyes seemed to darken and his face turned angry, meeting her gaze with harshness. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," she said, trying to choose her word carefully. "What are you going to do to stop it?"
"I'm not," Vader hissed, his voice suddenly hot as he turned away from her. "One cannot change destiny, Senator, and mine was written long ago."
She suddenly felt cold, unable to understand… his words settling over her soul and even worse the meaning behind them– for what that meant for him– and for them.
"No." She shook her head. "No!" she screamed, finding the words and standing up from the bed, ignoring the pain in her foot as she stalked over to him and held him tight. She had always known that their time was going to end, but she had truly hoped that they would both make it out alive. Now, Vader was taking away her choice, and even worse, he was taking away his own choice and allowing Palpatine to win. "I won't let this happen to you. You can't let this happen to you."
His face hardened and he pulled away from her grasp, but not completely out of reach. His eyes suddenly back to having some softness in them, but unable to look at her. "You saw the vision," he said without much conviction, though he seemed more than displeased. "It cannot be changed. Worse things happen to those that interfere with the will of the Force."
She shook her head, refusing to believe it. She moved towards him, holding his face tight and forcing him to look at her. "Don't do this, Vader. Don't let Palpatine make you believe that this is your only fate."
The word seemed to hit his core and another wave of anger washed over him. "It means nothing to you," Vader growled as he pulled away from her, but Padmé refused to allow him to intimidate her.
"It means everything to me," she shot back, following him and moving closer. "Palpatine said you were going to burn," she pressed. "Is that what he meant? That you were going to burn and become… whatever that thing is?"
She seemed to press too hard, Vader gritting his teeth and turning away. She could feel a sort of darkness overtake him, his power growing with his anger, and the coldness of that presence overtaking the room. "I told you before, it is none of your concern," he said, as he took a few steps away to create some distance, his hands locking into fists at his side as if in an attempt to control himself.
It was in that moment that she realized that he was trying. He was trying not to hurt her. He was trying to make her understand, but how could she make him understand that? "I consider you my concern," she said, chasing after him and closing the gap between them despite his protests. She wasn't going to allow him to flee and leave her, not this time.
"Well you shouldn't," came his harsh words. And for a moment, she thought he was angry, that he was going to create a true fight between them that would ruin the wonderful hours that they had spent together… but then he turned back to her, and for some reason, the Vader that turned back to her stopped her in her tracks.
And it was because there wasn't an ounce of anger to his face. There wasn't a trace of it anywhere. Not in his body, not in his eyes… It was just as if it had evaporated into thin air, and that alone was shocking, especially for the Vader that she knew. Vader seemed to take advantage of her trance and ever so slowly, he moved closer to her. He reached out and touched her face, cradling her cheek, ever so gently… His eyes looked so young– so pained. The golden hue so dim. He stared at her just like that for a long moment, completely holding her captive by his eyes until the darkness seemed to reemerge within him.
All too soon, the moment broke, and Vader shook his head, turning away. "I was a fool to believe that I could change it," he spoke softly, again so distant and filled with anger.
"What does that mean?" Padmé asked, knowing that he was speaking to himself more than actually to her, but nevertheless, wanting and needing to understand.
He turned back to her from the doorway, his face serious, but now completely unreadable, except for his anger. "Everything is coming to an end, Senator," he said as though that answered her question. "Everything."
He moved to leave, but Padmé couldn't help but to chase after him. "Vader," she breathed, gripping onto his clock and pulling him back to her, even if only for a moment. He didn't embrace her when he turned, but she didn't miss the way she allowed him to do so. She touched his naked chest, feeling his breath and his heat. "Please don't shut me out," she begged into his chest, before she looked up into his eyes. Whatever it is. We can do it. Together."
She truly believe that, and she desperately wanted Vader to believe that too. But Vader was quiet at that, extremely silent, simply staring down at her until his hand once again came to rest upon her cheek, cradling her into his touch. She pushed her face into the pressure, her face cuddling into his touch, and although it was anything but erotic, her heart soured as they stayed like this.
They stood like that for a long moment, reveling in each other's eyes… simply being one for as long as it lasted, and part of Padmé hoped that it would last forever. That they would grow old and die together in this spot, the galaxy and its issues all would be forgotten. But, as usual, all too soon, something within him shifted and Vader pulled his hand away. He stayed in his spot though, for another moment, frozen and looking down at her. For a moment, she thought that he was going to kiss her, but the kiss never came…
"Go back to bed, Senator," he commanded, pulling his cloak's hood up over his head and disappearing into the hallway, morphing into the comfort of his darkness.
Padmé didn't even have a chance to stop him, because as she went into the hallway, he was already gone.
Author's Note: Howdy lovelies, it's been awhile. Sorry for the wait, but I've been super busy, plus health stuff. I missed you bunches though. Hope you enjoyed. Drop a review.