Description: Ever since Jessica and Clark slept together, everything changed. The unexpected hidden passion bound them together. It is finally the time for Jessica to realize who she is and what her destiny is.
AN: Alternative ending to J e XMination. Possible videos in my profile. I will reinvent some of the plot presented in J e XMination and then precede with a completely new one.
Ever since Lex had walked out on her during the annual Luthor's Christmas party, Jessica truly didn't know what to do with her life, whether she should fight for him or wait for him to come to his senses. Or… maybe she just should give up on him altogether. She'd been so confused those last few weeks, so lost when she couldn't find it in her to fight for him, to even… feel the same way she'd used to. He seemed to be pushing her away more with every single day and she started wondering if their relationship was actually coming to an end. How could that be? How could it even happen? She'd been so sure once that they were meant to be forever, for the good and the bad and now she was just lost. She'd never thought she would find herself in this position again. She'd never thought she wouldn't be sure of her future anymore. Had she been naïve such a long time ago to believe that just because Lex had come back, it meant they should be together? What was truly happening with her feelings now? And, more importantly, what was happening to him? Why had he pushed her away? Why wasn't he fighting? He should've really known better to be mad at her for going back in time to save Oliver's life.
She was just lying in bed, trying to read a book but not really paying much attention to the words. She was too busy thinking, trying to figure everything out even though she knew she wouldn't. She would have to face Lex and talk to him seriously in order for that to happen and she really didn't feel like seeing him at all at the moment. What happened to us? What happened to the perfect relationship we had? Crossed her mind again as she bit her lower lip and put the book aside, giving up on trying to read anyway. Lex should show up at her door, she thought when she turned onto her side and rubbed her temples. Those days her head felt like it was going to explode from all the thinking that was getting her nowhere.
In that exact moment she felt a very familiar waft of air and once she turned into the direction of the window she'd left opened, she saw Clark there.
"Clark," she said his name in surprise, "what are you…" she started when sitting up, but then she just stopped, remembering that the last time they'd talked to each other Clark had been furious with her for going back in time to make sure Oliver wouldn't die. It wasn't that Clark wished his friend death, no, he just knew the consequences of time travelling well. Maybe Jessica needed to pay with her relationship with Lex for what she'd done? For how she'd altered time? Still, that didn't seem to make sense. She just felt numb every time she thought of her husband and that made her feel even more guilty and confused. How could a love such big as theirs just evaporate into the thin air? It couldn't. There had to be some other explanation to why she felt what she felt at the moment. She also remembered that Clark had revealed to Chloe that he'd wished he could've gone back in time to safe Jimmy when she'd asked him to, but he'd still decided against it. That was why he felt so guilty that Jessica herself had brought Oliver back herself.
To be honest, Jessica sometimes wished there had been no Legion ring, therefore the time travel would not be possible and no one could even think of the possibility. It would spare them all a lot of trouble. Especially when now Lex seemed to be angry with her that she'd come back for Oliver, but it'd never occurred to her in the past to actually come back for Lex himself. Her life sucked, she decided and sulked.
"I'm sorry to just show up here like this… I just…" Clark started, not really sure what to say to her. He felt just as awkward as she did.
"It's alright," she finally said, brushing it off. "You're my best friend, Clark. You can always come and talk to me," she assured him. "I understand your point of view, so I don't have any hard feelings toward you. I really do understand." It was the truth. Considering their past, especially Clark's experience with time travel, Jessica didn't hold anything against him.
"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively when carefully making a step forward in her direction.
"Yes." She nodded. "The only thing that I'm confused about at the moment is my relationship with Lex, but I don't really want to talk about it… Why are you here anyway?" she asked when taking a good look at him. Something was wrong, that much she could already tell. She knew Clark well and there wasn't a thing that he could hide from her. Last time he'd been troubled he'd just found out Lois was pregnant and the child would have his abilities. Lois had gone through a very tough pregnancy and they'd all thought she wouldn't survive until Jessica had come up with the idea to get blue kryptonite and put it on Lois's belly to temporarily take away the child's powers. As a result, the Kents had a little girl right now, all of them being in a great health the last time she'd checked. Yet, another problem had arisen when Lois had come up with the idea to have more kids so there would be more superheroes in this world and therefore, more people would be safe. It was a pretty controversial issue and Jessica wasn't surprised that Clark didn't like it a bit. He'd been through such hard times to accept his abilities, to adjust to them and to build a life for himself, that he refused to put anyone else through that, not to even mention to have more kids just because they could help others when having no other choice.
"Still, I should start by saying that I'm truly sorry, Jess," Clark apologized. "I am sorry for what I said to you. I'm sorry I yelled at you for bringing back Oliver."
"I already told you that I understand, Clark. You don't have to explain anything to me," she assured him again and eventually, he took a seat right next to her on the bed. "Now, tell me what's really wrong," she encouraged him. "You won't hide anything from me and you know it, Clark Kent. We've known each other for way too long."
He smiled somberly and then he said, "It's Lois."
"She's not… sick or anything, is she?" Jessica got worried.
"No, nothing like that. She's in perfect health," he said. "It's about… "
"She hasn't given up on the idea of having more children?" Jess guessed and she was clearly right since Clark just nodded, his jaw clenched, then he hid his face in his hands.
"You know, ever since we found out that she was pregnant," he started, straightening himself up again and putting his hands on his knees, squeezing them, "I haven't even touched her," he confessed. "I was just too scared… And now… Now I'm still scared, because she's just adamant about that crazy idea! I don't know what to do to make her realize… I just can't… I can't make even one more kid," he confessed when looking at Jessica sidelong. "I can't and I won't," he repeated." I can't even trust her now. Even if she tells me we're protected, I just…" He just shook his head. "How do I know she's not lying to me? I can't even trust my own wife!"
"Doesn't she understand that you just don't want to burden another child with your destiny?" Jessica asked.
"She doesn't. Clark shook his head. "I knew I should just talk to you. I knew you would understand," he suddenly said and then continued, "Lois thinks that we won't be able to give our kids a greater gift than mine invulnerability, but I… I know how hard the responsibility coming with this is. She knows what I had to go through to fully accept my destiny, but she thinks that once I did that, the kids will have it so much easier. I know they won't. I can't just tell them to go out there and save the world. I want them to have…"
"…a choice," Jessica finished for him. "I know."
"Yes, exactly," he admitted, nodding. "If I had more, I would like them to be able to choose whether they want to live like humans or… heroes."
"I can't believe Lois doesn't see that."
"Me neither. But again, she always saw me as a hero. She fell in love with me when I already was the Blur. She was never there when I didn't know who I was, when I didn't know what to do with my life and even how to live in the first place. All she knows is… Superman, and I… I'm just not him," Clark's voice broke slightly over those last words. "It's just a mask like Clark Kent was once when I didn't want to reveal my true identity to the world. The real me isn't any of those people."
"I know," Jessica assured him when reaching her hand to his and touching it. "You were always just plain Clark to me, with the slight difference that you were stronger than everyone else I knew." It was true, she realized. She never saw him as someone superior to others, as a god or a super man like Lois did. Jessica knew Clark better than anyone else, maybe even better than Chloe since the blonde reporter always looked at him as at a hero.
"I knew it was right to come here. It's such a relief to talk to someone who actually gets me. You're the only one who sees me more as a human. You see me the way I always wanted people to see me," Clark confessed, meeting her gaze. "Thank you for that."
"You're welcome." Jessica smiled to him sadly. "And if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one with a problem. Lex walked out on me four months ago and I haven't heard from his since," she informed, avoiding Clark's eyes and shifting her gaze to the floor.
"I don't get him," Clark said. "What's happening to everyone around us? They're all acting so strange as of lately. It's like we built those lives for ourselves and now they start to just crumble down around us and there's nothing we can do to stop it."
"Yeah, I know the feeling. I just can't get through to Lex. It's like you and Lois all over again. Lex thinks I saved Oliver just because I'm in love with him," Jessica complained. "Like it was such an impossibility for me to just do it!"
"Are you?" Clark suddenly asked. "Are you in love with Oliver?"
"What?! No, of course, not!" Jessica denied in indignation. "How can you even ask me that?"
"Well, Lex is a very perceptive person and I wouldn't hold anything against you if you were. What I've learnt after all those years of my life is that it doesn't really matter how hard we try to be the good guys and do the right thing by the people we love, sometimes we just…" his voice trailed off like he was looking for the right words to describe what he was trying to say. "We can't control our feelings," he finally cut it. "It happens to the best of us."
"I do care about Oliver," Jessica told him, not thinking much of what she just heard. If she was sure of something, it was the love Clark had for Lois. "But I do care about you, too! When I told that to Lex, he was even angrier like I didn't have the right to care about more than one man, well, in this case two, because Alex is a man and my son in the same time," she complained.
"All right," Clark just said and then added, "I better go." He raised himself up and walked toward the window. Jessica just watched him with a frown on her face. It was a pretty quick departure, she thought, suddenly growing to be suspicious. "I'm sure you and Lex can figure this out," Clark added when looking at her one last time.
"Maybe. At least we don't have a baby army problem," she tried to joke, but then decided that it didn't actually work out that well. "It'll be fine, Clark," she assured her friend when standing up as well and facing him. "I'm sure Lois will understand you soon enough. Maybe you should just try talking to her again and tell her all those things you just told me. She loves you, so she should understand it in the end." Jessica tried hard to comfort Clark and then she raised her hand to put it on his face. She didn't even know why she did that. She guessed she wanted to give him some support, to show him that she did care about him and she would always be there for him no matter what. He met her eyes, smiled to her and then came closer to give her a hug. His strong arms embraced her smaller frame, making her feel safe and warm and happy, making all her troubles disappear for just a second. Clark always had such a soothing influence on her.
Soothing until it transformed into something else, Jessica realized with a slight horrification as he refused to let her go and caused her body temperature to rise. When he finally chose to pull away, their eyes met again from up close and the next thing Jessica knew, his lips were on hers, kissing her eagerly.
It surprised her and for a moment there, she just froze, not really sure what was happening between her and Clark. She was just about to pull away when it hit her again. She liked the feeling of his lips on hers. She wanted him to keep kissing her. Clark was the one person who understood her and vice versa, the one person she could be honest with when not thinking about the consequences. And now his kisses were truly setting her on fire, awakening something deep inside her, some primal hunger she'd already forgotten she could actually feel. This one small kiss reminded her of all those feelings she'd had for Clark just before Lex had come back to life. All those feelings she'd had when she'd watched Clark marrying Lois. It'd felt so wrong to her back then. She remembered that she'd regretted ever letting Clark go and then it was just too late.
Now, hundred plus years into the future [thanks to the VA, veritas aeternum, a drug created out of Clark's blood to prolong people's life on Earth], here they were again. Kissing. Wanting each other.
Jessica felt everything at the moment. The need. The desire. It reached deep into her very bones and instead of doing the right thing which would be to just push Clark away from her, she grabbed the front of shirt and pulled him closer, opening her mouth for him, seeking his tongue and moaning with pleasure as he gave her all that she discovered she craved for at the moment.
She felt his strong and big hands on her buttocks and then her back suddenly met with the wall as Clark pushed her against it hard. She didn't even feel pain from the collision, instead, she felt herself wanting somebody there for her. Wanting someone inside her and wanting it now. It'd been too long. Especially when she was so used to having sex on daily bases. Only when she thought about the last time she'd craved someone with such a bone deep need, with such intensity that she felt like she would die if he didn't fuck her right away, she couldn't remember. Yet, it was happening with him, with Clark, with her best friend whereas Lex, her husband and partner for hundred plus years should have been there instead.
Jessica knew she should've just pushed Clark away, that they shouldn't have had sex like this, hard and against the wall. Hell, they shouldn't have been doing it at all! Still, she was incapable of saying no. It felt too damn good and she didn't remember the last time she'd felt something remotely as great as this. Clark's hands were now roaming all over her body, squeezing her breasts a little too hard, then tearing her shirt apart, revealing her naked chest to him as she didn't wear any bra at the moment. She'd been in bed, about to go to sleep anyway when he'd come in.
When his hard, hot and needy body came in contact with hers and she felt the bulge in the front of his pants, she gasped, was lost to the sensations and her mind just shut down, not caring about the man who was doing it all to her, just caring to feel him there, feel him whole. She wanted to strip him naked and lick him all over, to touch the delicious ripples of his muscles, to feel his strength, to have him reign over her, devour her completely even if it killed her. Her inner channel was already drenched and pulsing with such a need that it was more painful for her than uncomfortable.
Clark's lips closed around one of Jess's painfully erected nipples and she pulled on his red shirt (so happy that he hadn't come to her in that ridiculous Superman outfit) and then his gorgeous muscular chest was bare to her eyes. She ran her hands through it, enjoying the texture of his hard muscles, the beauty of his skin. He was truly perfect, a god in human skin. And then he sucked harder on her other nipple and she groaned loudly, tilting her head back and colliding it with the wall.
Her shorts along with her panties were also torn apart and now she was standing completely naked in front of him, shaking with desire, his eyes taking in the sight of her body begging for his touch. She reached to his pants and tried to undo them clumsily, but then he was faster, the pants gone, leaving him naked as well, his erected cock standing up proudly and huge. Jessica nearly forgot how big he was. Not that Lex was small in comparison to other men, but she was sure Clark would win every contest for size and thickness.
Clark's hands were on her hips now, raising her up so fast she barely noticed what he was doing, the only indication was the sharp pain as his cock slammed inside her, burying in right to the hilt, Clark releasing a primal scream at the contact whereas she just yelped, both the pain and the agonizing pleasure giving her an impossible mixture. Still, she loved every second of it. It was like pleasure born from pain. A true catharsis for her.
He held her in a very strong hold, his hands probably leaving bruises all over her body, but she didn't care. She was just experiencing the Clark that didn't hold back. The Clark that was giving her all he had as he fucked her relentlessly, fast and effective, their bodies joining together, the slamming sound and smell of sex filling the room. This Clark wasn't afraid to hurt the woman he was with during sex and Jessica didn't know whether it was because those hundred plus years had taught him self-control or he just didn't care at all, fucking her mercilessly. She couldn't keep herself from screaming in pleasure and ecstasy, didn't feel any pain anymore, all that was there was a fast and effective ride to climax. Probably the best one she'd had for decades if not the best ever.
Clark finally roared, began slamming into her even harder, his chest grazing her nipples, adding to the sensation, his strained muscles shining from sweat. Jessica watched it all and came so hard, so powerfully that her vision went completely white and she couldn't even tell what her name was. Nothing existed but her and Clark. Together. He groaned loudly again, this time spilling himself inside of her with hot, rich spurs.
Afterwards, Jessica just clang to his body since her own was shaking and she wasn't sure she could even stand after experiencing such a life shattering orgasm. She found herself loving the feel of Clark's slick, muscular arms, the way his chest kept rising and falling against her own, the smell of him, the feel of his breath against her neck as his head settled there, the feel of him softening inside her. She loved how strong he was, nearly another wall preventing her from falling.
Only then they both started realizing what had just happened and who they were. They weren't just a pair of singles, looking for a one night stand. They were both married, both had families. He had a wife waiting for him at home with a little child, his daughter. She had a husband she hadn't spoken to for months, but a husband nonetheless. It was so wrong on so many levels. But then why it had to feel so right in the same time?
"Oh, my… Oh, my god…" Clark rasped in that very moment, clearly terrified of his own actions and finally let Jessica go, his hot body leaving hers, his cock sliding out with a wet plop. Then he turned around so fast that Jess had to close her eyes, because she felt dizzy. Her legs were too spent to hold her weight and without Clark there, she just found herself sliding down to the floor with her back still against the wall. Now she was shaking from an entirely different reason.
"Did I hurt you?" was Clark's first question. His voice was changed though. It didn't seem to belong to him. It was detached, distant.
"No," she answered, hearing her own voice being way too squeaky.
"I'm sorry. I've never felt so out of control in my life," Clark confessed. "Never," he emphasized, nearly in despair.
When his answer sank in, Jessica's eyes opened widely in shock. So he could've just killed her there when fucking her? Came through her mind and it was such an uncomprehending thought that she just refused to think about it anymore. He didn't kill her, so maybe the part of him that wanted to protect her was stronger than the primal one.
"Jessica…" he started, but then just came to a sudden stop, not knowing what to say. They were both burdened with guilt so huge it was nearly unbearable, crashing them down. And Clark still refused to turn away to look at her. She could just see him breathing heavily in and out, in and out, trying to school himself into control, trying to adjust to the new situation, trying to maybe understand or to deal with what had just happened between them.
What was it, really? She started thinking. A spur of the moment thing? Lack of sexual satisfaction from the last few months and, when it came to him, last year? She truly had no idea and quite frankly, she wasn't sure she wanted to know the truth to why they'd done it. It shouldn't have happened at all and that was all they should focus on. Yet, it felt so… bizarre, like it was bound to happen eventually, like destiny was calling to them and once she thought that, she felt sick. She put her hands to her face, groaning silently at the even bigger mess she found herself in.
Clark, on the other hand, picked up his jeans and put them back on, finally hiding the perfectly chiseled backside of his. Jessica closed her eyes again as she caught herself on thinking that way. This was Clark, for a god's sake! Her best friend, Clark! The husband of her other good friend, Lois! The friend of her husband's, Lex! And Lex was the man she'd been obsessing about for the last century! The man she'd loved so dearly once, had been ready for anything for him. And what happened now? Was all of that just… gone? She was truly going to be sick. Her life wasn't supposed to be this way. She wasn't supposed to be separated from Lex. She wasn't supposed to be falling into Clark's arms. None of that should have ever happened! Yet, it did.
Just then, when she tried to even out her breathing, to calm down her heart rate, to clam herself down, she heard coming from Clark, "Jessica, I…"
"Don't," she said, hiding her face in her arms as she hugged her knees. "Just don't say anything. This shouldn't have happened. No one can know! Just… just go!"
"Jess," he repeated her name again and she could feel him coming toward her, but then she just screamed, "GO! Get out of here!"
And he did. Once she raised her head, he was gone, the opened window the only indication he was there. And then the sperm that started flowing down her thighs. The final cherry on top of the shit cake she'd just eaten. She started shaking, crying, feeling cold all over her body. How could she let this happen? How did she even get to this place?
She truly lost the track of time and didn't know for how long she'd just been sitting there, crying her eyes out. It didn't even matter to her that the room was already cold because of the opened window and she was shaking since she was completely naked. Eventually, she just picked herself up, feeling bruised and sore all over, and she disappeared in the bathroom. She could still feel Clark inside her even though he obviously wasn't there anymore. Her channel was still pulsing. She also couldn't stop sobbing. She was actually afraid to look in the mirror for fear her body could be in an even worse state than she imagined. And Clark had done this to her. Clark who she knew was always so careful and gentle. Clark whose dark side she'd just gotten to know and yet, it was so much lighter than Lex's dark side. Lex was made partially out of pure evil and there was never anything remotely bad in Clark. Well, when not counting cheating on his wife who'd just given birth to his child, that was. How Jessica would be able to look into Lois's eyes now? How could she face Lex?
Once she took a shower and cleaned herself up thoroughly, which didn't seem to help at all since she could still feel Clark all over herself, she finally peaked in the mirror. She gasped as she noticed the huge bruises forming on each side of her hips. Bruises that reminded her of two large hands. Clark's hands as he'd grabbed her there while he'd been fucking her. Another bruise was on her neck and that would be the hardest to cover up, she decided. Only then she reminded herself of the healing power of VA, so that one problem was dealt with. She would soon have a spotless skin again, but she couldn't say the same about her soul.
What had she done with her life? It seemed like ever since she'd gone back in time to save Oliver's life, things just started crumbling down around her, one by one. And it never stopped.
Never, she was sure of it when the next night she opened up her door just to see Lex there. Lex who was clearly broken and in pain. For a moment there she thought he knew about what she and Clark had done, but then when he actually put his arms around her and confessed that his sister, Tess, was dead, Jessica felt even worse. She just could stand there, frozen like a statue while Lex was embracing her. She couldn't even snuggle into him like she'd used to do in the past, happy every time he'd taken her in his arms. Now his body next to hers just didn't feel the same way. It was foreign somehow, detached. She couldn't find the connection they'd shared, couldn't find the affection for him in her and it broke her completely.